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 |  I've maxed out. Closed this blog. |
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This is a way of making myself write something coherent and grammatically correct almost every day. I'm opinionated and need an outlet. I'm also prone to flights of fancy. Thanks for stopping by. |
| One of my great weaknesses is procrastination. At work, I get to tasks and get them out of the way. I'm also organized at work. But away from work, I'm a mess. I delay everything. I have a basket of clothes I can't wear because they need ironing. I have minutes I need to type (because I couldn't say no when "they" needed a secretary-another weakness) before we get to the next meeting. I have a book to read for book club. I have two stories in my head that haven't made it to paper. There's a basket of hand-me-downs that need to go to Good Will. Let's not forget the exercise routine I haven't started. The car needs an oil change and a new tire. If I can wait until the last minute for anything, I will. My house is never ready for company. I order flowers at the last possible moment, or renew my driver's license the day after it expires. I have improved in one area. I now pay my bills immediately on receiving them. In my pinch penny days (most of my adult life), I had to wait until after payday, pay what I could, hold the rest for the next payday. Gradually, I got to the once a month paying system. Now, I've saved thanks to my rent free situation with my dad, I pay as soon as the bill comes in. I stay ahead of interest, late fees, or duplicate billing. And I've gotten a little better at ordering medicine before I run out. Most of the time. Now if I could just be more prompt about those chores I'm supposed to do for that rent thing. |
| Unfortunately, my elderly father had several hiding places for money. I live with him and I only knew about one of them. However, the housekeeper referred to us by a relative found all of them. She cleaned him out. How she managed to get away with heavy cans of coins when someone always saw her leaving we haven't figured out. The cash she could put in her pockets. We suspected a few things here and there but couldn't prove anything. We were tipping her and giving her gifts because she's young and is having a hard time. But apparently she has an unemployed boyfriend who likes drugs, so we can assume she was helping him out. I called the relative so she could give the girl a chance to make it right. At that time I only knew about a very large sum of cash. (Believe me I have lectured him about keeping that kind of cash in the house in an unlocked file cabinet, no matter how well it was hidden inside other things.) She denied it, of course. the police detective said she shouldn't have received a warning, but I was trying to help her go straight. Now we are discovering other things we weren't paying attention to. I was at work while she was there. My dad gets bored and goes out to the garage or outside. He didn't stay on the same floor where she was working, so that gave her half an hour or more at a time to go through drawers, cabinets, etc. The coffee cans were behind my sewing machine under a shelf on boxes of books. I didn't know there were there. You couldn't see them standing in the room She went searching big time. We can have her arrested, but we can never prove in court how much money it was. There are no receipts, no documents. All fingerprints were covered by my dad's fingerprints once he discovered a problem. We have had several instances of theft because my dad is a nice guy who tries to help people. He's trusting and falls for a hard luck story. He's also old, so they take their chances and rip him off. I feel like there's a sign over his head that says "Rob me". Now that I know the extent of her theft and that it must have been gradually over a period of time, rather than a momentary lack of judgment, I want her to learn a lesson. Amnesty is no longer an option. But I don't think she'll receive much punishment, if any other than the police hassle. We are going to buy a safe. We will not have a housekeeper. I can't let anyone in the house or on the grounds while my dad is home alone. I don't want to be robbed; I work hard for my money, why should some lazy person take it away from me? But it really makes my blood boil that people are so willing to rob a kindly old man and leave him without the money he has saved. He has worked two jobs most of his life, and is still working at one job in his 80's to stay afloat. No one has the right to take it away from him. |
| This is a personal rant, so you may not want to read. I'm an HR clerk with a college degree and lots of management experience when I was younger. But the years took some nasty turns, and women over 40 don't get the same opportunities. So I've ended up in this part-time hourly position in a company that puts out fires, but manages to hold onto a lucrative contract with a big company. After a long period of unemployment, then very low under-employment, I settled into this because I have good living arrangements, and most days the people around me are pleasant. Now that I realize it is a dead-end job, I also realize retirement is only a few years away. I don't really want to start over again somewhere else and get a new routine. I have tried for years to tell the managers when they were due to write employee evaluations and do competency training. The only thing they listen to are the big wigs or outside deadlines. They are always too busy to tend to routine yearly chores. At least until an emergency happens. I succinctly remember telling my superiors a year ago that certain papers were due. By mid-summer, I gave up and told someone that the crap would hit the fan eventually, but I had to move on to other things, Now the fan is blowing. I got a call tonight while at dinner from my boss wanting to know why these papers weren't in employee files. I told her the managers didn't do them last year. They're due again this year, which I told her about a month ago. She was very upset with me, like I didn't do them. I can't do 300 papers for people I don't know. I don't have the authority for one thing. So I see where this is going. If they get caught in the audit being done this week, I will be the scape goat. But I'm setting my foot down. I will not take the responsibility for mangers who get better pay and perks, especially when I went to all of them last year and asked them to do this work. Putting my foot down could have bad results for me. Either way I'm in trouble for someone else's incompetency. I'm mad at myself for letting it bother me so much. I know I'm powerless to do anything about the first half--getting people to do what they should. I'm powerless to stop getting blamed or written up for the absence of these forms, which I'm only supposed to file. The tone of her voice on the phone, the fact that she called me at home to ask about it, has made me so angry all evening. I have to go to work early tomorrow to help her fabricate as many as possible before the auditors pull some random files. I'll probably fume all night instead of sleeping. |
| Sunday night TV usually stinks. I have a book to read and some housekeeping, but tonight I stumbled upon two good movies back to back. I had to stand up and exercise during the commercials to keep the blood flowing. The first starred Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep. I can't believe I never heard of a movie starring the two of them. It's called Heartburn, and is based on a book by Nora Euphron. It's from 1986. I loved being reminded how the two actors looked almost 30 years ago. I wasn't overly satisfied with the storyline, but these actors can make anything interesting. As he has frequently done, he played a cad. The story ends when the wife leaves her cheating husband and takes the kids with her. When a movie starts out with a fairy tale romance and idyllic marriage, you know disaster is coming. The second movie was made in 1995 with Sandra Bullock, one of my favorites. This one was The Net. I remember hearing of this one, but never saw it, even on a rental or on TV. Despite its intricate details, this one was believable and entertaining. It seems so possible in today's world. When I was actually in 1995, I had little experience with a personal PC, or the Internet. I only heard about it, and worked on company systems. I even worked on an IBM system 3 with a big disc at one time. So the movie was showing cutting edge at that time. However, today, no one uses floppy discs. We're probably light years ahead in technology since then, but the concept of viruses is the same. And Sandra was brilliant in coming across as an everyday girl, but in great shape for running and escaping danger. There was always an element of suspense and a little fear. So I overdosed on TV tonight, but both movies were good, and I liked the actors involved. |
| I have begun the serious search for wrinkle creams. I have sensitive skin that tends to dry, but, alas, looking for those special lotions is not enough any more. I have entered a whole new realm of cosmetic endeavors. I don't worry about war paint, only preservatives! Everything seems to be changing very quickly now. I need something for dark circles under the eyes, fine lines almost anywhere, sun spots on the driver's side. I wear UV sunglasses even in the snow and cold weather. I need serious preventatives to stop the my face from sliding down off the skull. I need a heavy duty night cream, as well as a day moisturizer with SPF. The problem is how to use them all together. Do toners and moisturizers go on in layers? Does eye cream overlap with other things? Can skin lighteners go with other creams? Do BB oils and CC oils mix? How do I keep from feeling greasy? How do I not spend a fortune on things that don't help at all? I read in Consumer Reports that Eucerin night cream, which sells around $10, is as good as one that costs over $100, but I can't find a store that carries it, even if they have other Eucerin products. The bottom line is I hate looking my age. I don't feel my age. I haven't accomplished what I wanted to before I got to be this old. I've missed out on a lot of things that I'm not giving up on. But if I look my age, society may not give me much of a chance. So, I'm embracing this whole new world. I've never been into cosmetics or girly things, and here I am, doing it now. I'll figure out something, and pay for it, too. |
| I believe this is worth repeating, since I know I've said it in the past. It's a good idea to teach your kids how to pick partners and how to date. The best thing parents can do is to demonstrate in their own behavior what they want for their kids. If a mom wants her daughters to be respectful of boys and not bully them, she shouldn't nag her husband or threaten him where the kids can hear. If a father wants his daughters to expect good treatment and not settle for disrespect or abuse, he should make sure he doesn't make rude or disparaging remarks to his wife. He should be respectful of her feelings, thank her for the things she does, give her compliments, help her occasionally. Let the girls see the way a man should treat a woman. Kids are always watching their parents, and step-parents, so if they see bad behavior, they will think that's normal. If Mom isn't respected, if she's treated like a servant, if she's verbally or physically abused, the girls will believe it's okay for boys to do that to her. Likewise, the boys will imitate the fathers. If the mother is a shrew, or is bossy, or controlling in devious ways, the girls will be that way most likely. So the first and most important rule is to be good role models. It won't hurt your relationship either. Next, about the time the kids hit junior high school, it's time for Mom and Dad to have "practice" dates with the kids, one on one. A dress up night, whatever dress up means at your house, can demonstrate to a 12 or 13 year old how to act and what to expect (minus kissing and hand holding). A man calls for his "date", the mother has to meet him and give a curfew. He holds the door and takes her somewhere nice for dinner. He treats her like a female companion or co-worker, not his baby girl. He uses his best manners and asks what she would like. They have conversation. When she leaves the table to go to the bathroom, he stands up. He is nice to her, so that she won't accept less from the boys she goes out with. Dad shouldn't spend too much money, because young boys don't usually have a lot of money. A special night out with each daughter at least once a year will keep them on track. It will be a special memorable time for both father and daughter. They can talk about it later, the next day, or following week. Mom can reinforce the positive values. When boys come to call, they can establish guidelines together to make sure she's getting respect and proper treatment. When a boy is out of line--too much teasing, immature behavior, etc.--parents may have to instruct him gently in how to treat girls. Moms can have practice dates with boys, telling them what girls like, prompting them in advance or as they go in gentlemanly behavior. To let them get by with childishness is letting them set low standards for themselves and doing them a disservice in the long run. Don't baby your son, like so many mothers; be the parent and instructor. (They don't have to tell their friends about it. It's not a date; it's a night my mom forced me to do.) Fathers can reinforce to their sons that they will get more girls by being polite and chivalrous than being macho. Everyone wants their kids to be respected and act respectfully towards others. Parents are the primary people to instruct them, by talking about it, demonstrating it, and practicing/role-playing. |
| I have a busy imagination. However, when I sit down to write, I freeze. Any time I sit still, my mind goes into movie time. I rewrite scenes all the time. I try different directions,different dialog, different settings. I can do it even when there is activity all around me. The movies in my head are in full color. And, of course, I'm so clever in this make-believe world, so witty and wise. Not that the lines are mine. I'm frequently not a character in the movies at all. My characters, which occasionally do make it onto paper, are inspired by real people or people I've seen. A TV actor, for instance, may become the physical model for my villain.Or maybe I use some offbeat character I have known.The personality may differ, but the physical traits, hand gestures, phrasing, and so forth might be modeled after some real person. I don't always get that across in my stories, but in my mind's eye and ear, the character is very real and lifelike. If I want to add some humor, I picture someone I think is funny. Sometimes the humor comes after I imagine the funny person. I think maybe I can't commit them to paper because I don't feel the overall theme or purpose. The great scenes, the dramas, just don't come together in a purposeful way. People get drama and melodrama in their everyday lives. Why read a short story about more of the same? I would like to get all those stories floating around up there funneled out and onto paper. Maybe I could make sense of them if I could look at them. I hate to admit this, but some of what's up there should stay there. It shouldn't see the light of day. |
| I went to a workshop tonight at a hospice. My pastor had asked several of us to go, and I signed up--the only one. The write up made it sound like it was going to be about grief counseling. But no, it was grief counseling. Of course, we can all relate once we have a few years We lose people we love. So while it wasn't as helpful as I expected, or at least not the way I expected, it was not totally lost on me. We talked about meditation, yoga, distractions, and things that give us comfort in our grieving. Listening to others and being "listened to" are important in the healing. Too often well-meaning people just shower us with platitudes and feel they have to fill the silence. Instead, we just need to listen. Some people keep their emotions so bottled up that they can't deal with the emotions. While everyone's story was different, there were so many common elements. Everyone could relate to each other pretty well. I would recommend a group like that for someone who has gone through a loss of someone close within the last six months, or longer if they weren't recovering very well. It takes about a year to get through the worst of it. I was surprised that I actually am fairly well equipped to handle grief spiritually and emotionally, which does not mean that I won't hurt. I was just hoping to get more practical advice on helping family members, friends, or fellow church members cope. The experts say that it takes about 3 years to get beyond the loss of a spouse before starting to date again or letting someone else into your life. One Jewish woman said that her tradition teaches you have 3 periods of grief spiritually: the first week is the first and most intense level, the first thirty days is the next level, the first year is the next one. After that, you are never fully healed or recovered, but you are through the worst of it and can cope. |
| I didn't watch. I couldn't stand yet one more celebrity award show. I couldn't even watch the red carpet stuff beforehand. When you've seen a few shows of froufrou outfits and borrowed jewels and tuxes, you've seen enough. When you've seen a few low-cut dresses, side revelations, etc., you've seen enough. I'd rather watch "What Not To Wear" with everyday people and realistic clothing. Today the word was out that the viewership was down 16% from last year for the Oscars. One theory, on the radio at least, is that the films nominated were independent films that not many people had seen. Had the public voted instead of the Academy, there would be different winners, and perhaps more interest in the awards. I think they need to go a step further. These shows have been so edgy and over the top in the past, that they simply fail to entertain us any more. It's just more of the same old stuff, and who cares any way? The world is depressing and dangerous. Give us something that gives us hope, not self-centered accolades on rich people. They get their rewards at the box office and from the critics. Don't interrupt our regular programming for your hollow attempts to be amusing and meaningful. |
| My favorite part about the kindle or other e-book is that I don't have to go shopping (I know, I'm female, and I don't like shopping) and I can get it in a few minutes. I can order a book without leaving home, but I have to wait for delivery. That instant gratification without the hassle is wonderful. However, the quality of editing stinks. They don't check for typos, grammar, etc. Now I like the free ones, but most cost a few dollars or the same as a hardback, depending on the book. If it's a classic or one I pay for, I want it free of errors. There's also the problem of coming back to something later. If you want to mark a passage for quoting, or just to savor it again, it's almost impossible to find it again. Then the contraption itself can freeze and have to be reset. Or if the battery is running low, the pages will be slow to turn or will quit and go back to where you started this session without signaling you that the battery needs charging. I do like that it gives me a percentage of how far I've come, but that only helps irritate me when I've read 84%, and suddenly I find myself back at 60%. I still like real books. My mother was an avid reader and left plenty of books. So I can go back to the 80's and 90's for the best sellers of those days with ease. I'm not giving up books I can hold. And I can lend a physical book, or pass it around. I can't push my Kindle off on anyone else, or encourage them to browse my electronic library. For sharing with others, the old-fashioned book is the only way. |
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