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I’d rather write than talk. Nobody interrupts! Posting monthly or less now--see below. |
My original purpose for this blog, which I started in August of 2019, was to see if I could maintain consistency, to discover what I want to write about, and to find my writing voice. In January, I started a "niche-less" blog at Wordpress.com where I've published weekly. -- Kit’s Kontemplations  . -- I'm preparing to start a Catholic blog on Wordpress.com where I'll post weekly, and another site to put the rest of my writing. I also want to spend more time reading other blogs and offering thoughtful comments, both here on WDC and elsewhere. At most, I will publish once a month at no set time in this blog starting in September of 2020. Thank you to those who have read and rated any posts on this blog. I really appreciate it. I did NOT want to write “about” me on this blog. I wanted to share my interests, discoveries and maybe a few useful insights. If anything I've written helps even one person, whether or not they respond to the post, then this blog has been successful. |
| There are no line-ups at the coffee shops and the malls are nearly deserted. I saw some grocery store customers are wearing masks. One of my relatives postponed his medical procedure until June. Many people who have symptoms are being quarantined at home. Others who are afraid of being contaminated aren’t going out unless absolutely necessaary. Consider this scenario: You have job security and are paid vacation, so finances aren’t a worry for you. You have everything you need at home and you’re alone except for, maybe, your cat. You don’t have the virus but have been quarantined for at least 14 days “just in case”. Here’s what I’d be grateful for besides what I mentioned above:  My family and friends are, so far, unaffected. It’s not summer and so hot in the apartment that all I want to do is go to a mall or coffee shop and chill, both literally and figuratively. The power’s on so I have lights, hot water, a working landline phone, and let’s not forget, the internet. After being without power for almost three days in September 2018 due to a tornado, I think I’d rather be sick with a flu for a few days and have power than to be well for three days in a blackout.I have the type of temperament that thrives on structure and planning. I would roughly sketch out a routine for the coming two solitary weeks and post it on my fridge. There needs to be an element of discipline in my life if I am to feel good at the end of each day. To achieve this during my quarantine, I would do something from my “want to” list only after I’d completed at least one household chore and one or two things on my “should do” list, depending on how long the item took. If one of the activities involved more than one hour of sitting, I’d set my timer for about 45-60 minutes then get up and move around. I wouldn’t enjoy my two weeks much if I let myself get a stiff back and neck from too much time in one position. If I were in the situation I described in the opening of this post, the first thing I would do is to make two lists. The first would be a list of the things that I needed to do or that I “should” get done now that I had all this time with no committments or demands on me. The second would be a list of all things I’ve been wanting to do but haven’t had time or made time for until now. I’d keep both lists handy and add to them as I thought of other things to add to either one. Most of the things on both of these lists would be activities I do sitting down. Too much sitting is not good for a lot of reasons that I won’t go into here. As I mentioned above, I wouldn’t do a sedentary activity for more than one hour at a time. I would set my timer for one hour each time I started this type of task on my list. When it went off, I would get up and move around for at least 5-10 minutes. You could do some stretches or put on some music and dance - but not for more than one song unless you’re in good shape! I tried this last week for the space of three songs. I walked around for three days like a very frail 90-year-old lady. I felt all of my 62 years plus a decade more! One of the things on my “should do” list would be digital de-cluttering: Delete saved emails from email lists I subcribed to and never got around to actually reading; some of these have emails dating back five or more years. Organize my browser bookmarks. Since I use Safari on my iPad and Firefox on my Linux laptop, that would be quite the sorting exercise, putting them into folders and deciding which ones to simply delete. Detect and delete duplicate files on my external hard drive. Fortunately there are utiilities for that! I guess I’m quite a digital pack-rat! I still have files on CDs that I’ve had since the time I was using a Windows 95 computer. As for my “want to” list, I’d do the more actively creative things during the day when I had more energy. I would listen to my body and take naps when I felt like it, even for just 20 minutes. There are creative activities that I used to enjoy but which I haven’t done in over a year; these include guitar, keyboard, and virtual pottery on my iPad. I enjoy crocheting colourful, patterned 8” squares that are joined to make blankets for charity. Most of my creative energy these past eight months has been devoted to writing. I would devote my evenings to more light entertainment. I have novels on my bookshelf that I bought but have not read, not to mention loads of e-books on my iPad. After 9:00 p.m., I’d be better off to shift to print books if I want to fall asleep sooner rather than toss around for an hour or more. Since I wouldn’t spend every evening, all evening reading, I’d get a free trial of CraveTV and binge-watch all the episodes of Partridge Family. Am I dating myself just a bit? I’d likely watch the third season of Roswell since I only saw the first two. I might re-watch the first season or two of Drop Dead Diva; the rest weren’t as good. Though I mention this at the end, it is the most important part of my day now. It never goes on a list any more than breathing would. It is the foundation of everything good and worthwhile in my life. I would start my day with my usual hour of prayer, spiritual reading and journaling and end my day with another period of prayer as I usually do. During my quarantine, I would punctuate my day with brief periods of prayer between each activity. The things I would miss the most are: daily Mass and spending evenings at Tim Hortons with friends. By the end of the first week, I’d be really missing the freedom to go out whenever I wanted. I’m an indoor girl so I wouldn’t miss being outdoors. I’d just miss the places I like to go, like the library, coffee shops and craft stores. So what about you? What, if anything, would you be grateful for in this situation? Would you have any kind of structure or just do whatever came to your mind in the moment? Would you enjoy your solitude or spend most of your time talking on the phone, texting or browsing social media? How long would it take you to get a bad case of “cabin fever”? How would you cope with it? If you were to tackle a task that’s been weighing on your mind for a while, what would it be? Would you do something creative? Assuming you had the necessary material at home, what would it be? Do you find the prospect of a 14-day period alone at home appealing or abhorrent? Why is that? |
| Right from the start, I want to say that the most I’ve ever needed to lose is 40 pounds. I remember how being that much overweight made me feel. I try to imagine how it would feel to have 100 or 200 pounds to lose and the thought horrifies me. The daily physical and psychological suffering that would entail is enormous. If I found it difficult to motivate myself to do what was necessary to lose 40 pounds, how overwhelming must it be to need to lose 4 times that amount? If I felt uncomfortable in my body and wanted to avoid mirrors or any other reminder, what must it be like to be imprisoned by your own body? There is no question that weight loss must start in the mind or that it requires suffering and sacrifice. There is no quick easy way that lasts. After two successful weight loss effort, one in 2002-2003 and the second in 2018-2019, I’ve learned that maintenance is much more challenging than losing the weight in the first place. I’ve also learned that I had to work at changing certain habits of thought. Even before I took any concrete steps toward weight loss, I did a lot of reflecting and journaling. I had to get really clear about why I wanted to lose weight and those reasons needed to be substantial and compelling. Like many of us, I started off wanting something that would melt the weight off with no effort or sacrifice required. I considered diet pills and if I were heavy enough to qualify for weight-loss surgery, I would have considered that, too. I didn’t want to give up any of the things I loved to eat, especially sweets. I didn’t want any restrictions on my eating or any food boundaries of any kind. For those who do get the weight loss surgery and enjoy success, what makes the difference between those who keep the weight off for the rest of their lives and those who regain much of the weight that they lost? I imagine that like other medical procedures, weight reduction surgeries have changed over the years. Do the modern procedures make it completely impossible to regain the weight? Gastric bypass surgery can be an effective treatment for obesity, and most people do lose weight after the procedure if they are adequately prepared for the changes that are necessary. But you’ll always be at risk of regaining weight, even years later. —Katherine Zeratsky I believe the changes necessary include new habits of thinking as well as new habits of behaviour. To the extent that these are practiced, there is less risk that the person will regain much of the weight that they lost. The habits that contributed to extreme obesity would be firmly rooted and resistant to change. “The first year after surgery is usually a ‘honeymoon period,’” Keidar told Healthline. “That time should be used for coining new habits.” These habits include proper diet, regular exercise, and avoiding other unhealthy habits that may interfere with those, including smoking and excessive drinking. ... “If the patient cannot maintain these behavioral changes, then the weight will frequently come back,” he said. “While bariatric surgery can be helpful for people who have tried and exhausted all other options, we must realize that such surgery is no replacement for changing the systems that lead to obesity.” —Brian Krans A year is plenty of time to work on changing behaviour habits. The waiting period before the surgery is a good time to work on changing ways of thinking about food that led to overeating or unhealthy eating. Wanting the weight loss isn’t enough. We have to come to the point of wanting to do what it takes to get it off and keep it off. I’ve just passed my one year anniversary of reaching my goal weight. I still have to counter old lies about food with truth. I need to maintain a different set of ideas about food and eating. I will probably struggle with these from time to time for the rest of my life, especially during stressful times. I needed to develop a new relationship with food. It is fuel for my body. It is not comfort. It is not entertainment. It is not going to solve any problems or make any task easier. Maintaining this functional approach to food is a daily choice. The old ways of thinking don’t completely go away — at least they haven’t yet — but they aren’t constantly “in my face” as they were in the beginning. For any reader who is open to a Christian approach, check out Barb Raveling’s blog . Sources: Predictors of Weight Regain After Bariatric Surgery Gastric Bypass Surgery: What happens if I regain the weight? Patients see weight gain after honeymoon period Rationalizing Unhealthy Food Choices {x-link:https://www.alive.com/health/rationalizing-unhealthy-food-choices/}WHY WE GAIN WEIGHT: RATIONALIZING OVEREATING AND EATING AMNESIA Monique from Ottawa, Canada No matter what, WRITE! |
| Goals are only useful to point us in the desired direction; they don’t get us to our destination. Though useful as a first step, they have some serious deficiencies. Having a goal does not determine success.. In any competition, whether it’s for a job, American Idols or a boxing match, each competitor has the same goal, but only one achieves it. So having a goal, in and of itself, is not enough. There is something, or perhaps many things that the winner did differently, things no one else witnessed; they had a system of habits in place that gained them greater skill or prepared them in other ways. Goals create a yo-yo effect with motivation and discipline. What do most people do after the competition is over? The athlete stops training after his team or the other one wins the cup, at least until season training re-commences. The author stops writing after sending her novel to the publisher, at least for a while. Can you think of other examples of this dynamic? Goals force us into either/or thinking. We eitther met our goal or we didn’t. There’s no in-between. There’s no recognition of what we gained in the process of striving to reach or goal which would certainly include discipline and either a new or increased skill. We put off “happiness” while striving for our goal We say to ourselves: “I’ll be happy when I achieve ___ ... and there’s always another ____ to achieve. Or we say “I can relax when I finally ____.” Do we keep that promise to ourselves or do we move on to the next carrot that culture dangles before our eyes? You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.—James Clear By “systems”, James refers to the collection of habits and practices that work together to put us in a position to be successful over a period of time. We can choose to be happy every time we do a small thing that brings us in the direction of our goal. We can choose to focus on the process rather than to fixate on the result. Someone who loses a significant amount of weight knows this by experience. Every choice she makes related to her health “casts a vote” for improved health, or further deterioration. Every muffin she turns down, every glass of water she drinks, every physical activity she does can be an immediate source of happiness and satisfaction. Her “goal” may be to achieve a certain weight or to shrink to a size 10 but happiness need not be deferred until then. Reflect Do you have a goal that dominates much of your attention? Have you outlined the habits you need to develop or the steps you need to take? Are you aware of and willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve your desire? |
| Our behaviour is governed by the underlying structures in our lives. Like the waters of a river, energy moves in the direction where it is easiest for it to go – along the path of least resistance. In his book, The Path of Least Resistance , Robert Fritz describes the difference between the underlying structures that are part of a problem-solving orientation and those which exist in the creative orientation. He discusses the patterns of thought and behaviour that result from each of these two orientations. The three phases of the creative orientation described with depth and insight are: germination, assimilation and completion. Included in the discussion of the creative process is a clear description of the differences between fundamental, primary and secondary choices which shape our lives and drive our behaviour. The author also outlines that which hinders the creative process. In describing the germination and assimilation phases of the creative process, the author stresses the importance of choosing a result and not a process. The process needs to develop naturally and intuitively through experimentation and assimilation. Success in each step generates momentum and energy which leads with increasing effectiveness to the creator’s consciously chosen and clearly envisioned result. While discussing “strategic moments” which occur during the creative process, the author examines the impact of the meaning we attach to results. How we define the relationship between the actions we’ve taken and the results we observe (taking into account the inevitable time delay) affects our future actions and momentum as we move through this process from assimilation toward completion. During his discussion of strategic moments, the author outlines the steps of what he calls “pivotal technique”: — Describe where you are (present reality with no denial or minimizing) — Describe where you want to be (clearly enough to recognize it when achieved) — Formally choose the result you want (say it aloud or write it down) — Move on (change your focus to a completely unrelated activity) In describing the completion phase of the creative process, the author stresses the importance of mastering the skill of critical judgement. We need to acknowledge our creation and compare it to our original vision of it. Determining that the result is “complete” and accurately reflects what we envisioned releases a fresh energy. This energy begins the germination stage of our next “creation”. Our natural instincts, desires and tendencies are toward creating and life can be a series of creative acts that lead to other creative acts. The author summarizes by saying: “In the creative orientation, the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual dimensions of your being realign and work in harmony, leading to the fulfillment of your deepest individual life purpose.” |
Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain. —William Faulkner Having nothing, knowing nothing, feeling nothing is to be nothing. It is to be dead, a robot or something less than human. To exist with no thoughts, no heart, no awareness, no soul is to lack the capacity for joy, excitement, passion – or pain. Kahlil Gibran wrote in The Prophet in the chapter about joy and sorrow: The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Few of life’s most profitable lessons come without mental anguish, emotional suffering or physical pain. Most of us require pain of varying degrees to arrest our attention as we hurtle down the road to self-destruction. Some of us slow down enough to notice another path. A few of us veer off that road to explore an alternative path. The pain of loss, remorse and humiliation has brought many addicts to their senses, providing the courage and willingness to take the path leading to healing, growth and restoration of health and sanity. The pain and terror accompanying a terminal illness has motivated many to bury resentment, embrace forgiveness and experience renewed joy in previously difficult intimate relationships. Some facing incredible suffering reject God entirely and others seek Him out. A severe depression in my early thirties made me aware I needed therapy as well as medication. With help and support, I examined the attitudes and perceptions that drove my behavior. I discovered the root of my food addiction, my work addiction and compulsive spending. None of these “comfort measures” worked to eliminate the inner pain and emptiness from which I was trying to hide. I changed the way I spoke to myself. I forgave myself for not being and doing what I believed I was supposed to be and to do. I repeated these words of forgiveness like a mantra prayer for months until I experienced healing in my emotions. Memories that were once like a brand seemed to belong to someone else. I opened my mind to new ideas; I am not a disappointment to God and my worth as a human being does not depend on doing as much as possible perfectly. I tried things I remembered enjoying as a child. I played with crayons, pastels and clay. I still can’t stay within the lines when I color and that’s OK with me now. In the five years that followed my breakdown, I learned how to let myself feel my emotions. I started to notice my body and give it loving attention, especially guilt-free afternoon naps. Self-help books, 12-step groups, counseling and spiritual direction were some of the tools I used to build a new interior life with God as Guide and Healer. I am no longer terrified of my emotions; I can face them and feel them. I don’t have to hide them under chocolate bars, with romance novels or excessive activity and reckless spending. I am now in my sixties. I love the woman who greets me in the mirror each morning. I don’t need make-up, long fingernails or fashionable outfits to feel good. If the number on the scale is a bit high, I just shrug and do a quick self-check on whether I’ve been drinking enough water and exercising, or if I ate out more often than usual. I decide on corrective action and follow through with no negative “self-talk”. I live a balanced and disciplined life but don’t practice my self-care or spiritual disciplines perfectly all the time. Some weeks are better than others. That’s OK with me because I’m OK with me. If I neglect any of them for long, I feel the “pain” of an imbalance within and I get back on track. This discomfort keeps me on the path I’ve chosen and my life works. Pain pointed me in a new direction. I’m grateful for what my suffering has taught me. I don’t run from the pains that continue to refine me. I am well on the way to becoming the woman I was created to be. Bumps on the road won’t crash me. My shock-absorbers are in excellent working order. Reflection: What is your usual response to suffering? Does this approach actually help or does it wreak further havoc in your life? Do you see any value to suffering, or do you believe it must be avoided no matter what? Who, or what do you blame for the biggest suffering that you have experienced? |
| When something happens, we know the “what” and the “where”. Scientific and forensic research can often determine the when and the how. This leaves the “who” and the “why”. In the case of crimes, we may also determine the “who” which will achieve justice. Without an answer to the “why”, we remain unsatisfied. If we could teleport a toaster to an alien planet, they would know when and where it appeared. If they were sufficiently advanced, they might accurately determine how it arrived and what it was made of but they would have no idea who sent it, why it was sent or even what its function was. How likely is it that these aliens would assume the toaster resulted from a random chain of events? Would they not assume some intelligent being conceived the idea and assembled it? Intuitively they would know that the only way to be certain of its purpose would be to ask its creator. If something as basic as a toaster shows clear evidence of design by an intelligent creator, logically something as complex as a human being must have also been the result of a super-intelligent being. This being is the only one who can tell us why we were created. Those who, like Carl Sagan, believe in a closed universe, that “the cosmos is all there was, all there is and all there ever will be” expect that science can satisfy all our curiosity. Although the things we have passion for can contribute subjective meaning to our lives, determining the objective meaning of our lives is impossible unless this is revealed by the being who created us. When I first attempted to read Dante’s epic poem The Divine Comedy, I was able to understand parts of it but much of it mystified me. I didn’t know anything about the people and events mentioned. I had a similar experience trying to read Homer’s Illiad. Reading commentaries can only be useful if you trust that their authors based them on accurate and reliable information. After all, Homer and Dante died centuries ago, spoke a different language and came from vastly different cultures. When you read a mystery novel or watch a crime show long enough to find out “who did it”, do you put the book down or switch channels before finding out why they did it? If the book or the show doesn’t give that answer, would you bother reading any other novels by that author or watching any other episodes of that crime show? We want to know more than what, when, where and how. We want to know “who” and “why”. Contrary to popular opinion, science does not answer all questions. Science cannot fully satisfy even a three-year-old whose favourite word is “why”. Source Chapter 1 of Thinking?: Answering Life’s Five Biggest Questions |
| I try to live in the present, to learn from the past and to surrender the future to God whom I know loves me. I can’t change the past and I trust in God’s mercy for all that the harm I caused to others. My future is something I can have an impact on by my present choices, but it is otherwise beyond my control. I try to be flexible and to adapt to change, since it both can’t be avoided and seems to happen at the speed of light. This is difficult for me since I thrive on structure and routine. In some areas of life I feel more equipped to deal with change. Technology is one example since I have sufficient skill, aptitude and patience to learn how to use new devices. I try to be faithful to the little daily disciplines of self-care, like flossing, exercise and avoiding unhealthy foods. I’ve tried checklists and made resolutions. Nothing has worked for very long when it comes to flossing and going to bed early. I’ve had a lot more success with exercise, having walked on the treadmill every day for almost three years. I try to see myself as valuable even when I don’t get the result I want, because I am not what I do or fail to do. I am much less of a perfectionist than I used to be and this has released me to be more creative than I thought possible. Provided that I put disciplined effort into what I am striving for, I am satisfied with the result. I expect errors, I fix the ones I find or which others find for me, and I don’t worry about the rest. I try to see myself as God does rather than believing the committee in my mind. According to Scripture and to the revelation that the Holy Spirit has infused in my soul, I know that God loves me unconditionally. I know that He looks at me with delight and tender compassion. I am entirely confident that He is working in me to transform me into what He designed me to be. I try to see the good side in every difficult thing. I know that God lives within me and that, like any loving parent, He is sad to see me go through suffering. He knows and allows that which is necessary for my ultimate well-being. and will bring good to me from this suffering in some mysterious way. I try not to have expectations of circumstances and of other people. Expecting things from other people leads to disappointment and frustration, even when you expect them to act in ways that make sense. If you don’t expect anything, you can maintain serenity in any situation. I heard this expression in a 12-step group that I never forgot: “Expectations are resentments under construction.” What are the things you try to do and why? |
| YouTube is awesome! I have learned useful techniques from cooking to crochet, and from sprouting to software use. Most recently I learned how to replace Windows 10 with Linux Mint on my new laptop and what to do after that. Sometimes I want to learn something in a lot more depth. A friend told me about Courseara and later I discovered that my local library provides Lynda.com to its members. There are a few others that I’ve explored as well. Some have a wider variety of courses and others offer a more specialized selection. Some sites offer courses for free and only charge for a certificate of completion. That works for me since I’m interested in the content, not the paper proof. Courseara —https://www.coursera.org Available both through a browser and mobile apps. It offers courses in the following categories: Business, Information Technology, Data Science, Computer Science, Personal Development, Language Learning, Arts and Humanities, Social Sciences, Physical Science and Engineering, Math and Logic and Health. Some courses are part of “collections” where you would want to take them in the recommended order. I’ve taken the four “Think Again” courses. Khan Academy —https://www.khanacademy.org This is designed for elementary and high school students, including Advanced Placement (AP) courses. It also offers material to help students prepare for SAT, LSAT, MCAT and several other tests. The categories of courses include: Math, Science, Economics and Finance, Arts and Humanities, and Computing. Another neat feature is their “Partner Content” from various museums and other institutions. Not only young people but adults who want to refresh skills learned in school or explore what their children or grandchildren are learning can benefit. I used it to review Algebra and plan to explore history next. EdX —https://www.edx.org/ This is a lot like Courseara but offers courses in over 30 different topics. I haven’t tried this one yet. Lynda.com —https://www.lynda.com This is a paid service available through LinkedIn and some other institutions. It is subscription-based so that you pay a monthly fee and lose your course material when you unsubscribe. It offers courses in Business and Professional Development, Web Design, Marketing and Sales, Design and Photography, and Mobile App Development. You can access it through a browser or use a mobile app. Udemy. —https://www.udemy.com With Udemy, you pay a one-time fee for a course and it is always yours. They claim to offer over 10,000 courses. I haven’t enrolled for any of them yet but may do so in the future. I would probably choose this service over Lynda.com if it weren’t for the fact that I get it free from my local public library. Udemy offers courses in the following categories: Software Development, Business, Finance and Accounting, IT and Software, Office Productivity, Personal Development, Design, Marketing, Lifestyle, Photography, Health and Fitness, Teaching and Academics and Music. Have you heard of any of these? If so, which ones have you used? If not, which are you inclined to try? Do you care about the certificate or do you just want to learn as much as you can about what interests you the most? |
| It isn’t only our family members and friends who provide us with opportunities to practice forgiveness. Consider other provocations: professionals who harm us through their incompetence or negligence such as a doctor who misdiagnoses us careless or impaired drivers who involve us or a loved one in a devastating accident persons in authority who not only fail, but who refuse to protect us from harm, as in sexual abuse situations life, fate, the universe or God who allows us to be involved in a devastating accident, to contract some serioius illness, or to lose a loved one It’s hard enough to forgive when we have an accurate understanding of what forgiveness is and, more importantly, what it is not. If you’ve somehow absorbed any of the following beliefs about forgiveness, it’s no wonder that you believe it to be both undesirable and impossible: absolving the offender, excusing him or her from blame, guilt or responsibility letting the offender off the hook glossing over, or justifying the offence denying or minimizing the hurt and harm you’ve endured ignoring or forgetting what the offender did and its outcome symbolically setting the offender free from having to carry the burden of the suffering caused by the offenceForgiveness is an act of the will, independent of emotions. It precedes and is a prerequisite for the healing of the soul and possibly the relationship as well. It is a choice to let go of the desire for revenge Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Along with a false understanding of the nature of forgiveness, there are other reasons we deliberately withhold forgiveness from the one who harmed us or those we care about. We see denying forgiveness as a way to: force the offender to keep suffering gain control over a situation, we feel we had no control over take care of, honour and validate our own wound proclaim that our suffering exists and will always matter hold on to our rightness remain justified in our version of the truthForgiveness is not a feeling and it does not mean that everything goes back to how it was before you were hurt. There were significant consequences for what was done and one of these is a loss of trust. Forgiveness does not include restoring trust; once broken, trust needs to be earned. It is a gift we give to another. Unlike forgiveness, trusting someone is never something we are required to do. Forgiveness does not negate the need for justice. A good parent forgives a child’s misbehaviour but does not withhold punishment, a valuable life lesson that decisions have consequences. An offender may express remorse when confronted by the one he or she harmed but remorse in itself is not repentance. Experiencing the consequence of one’s actions will distress the offender. It may not lead to repentance which, by definition, includes consistent change of behaviour. From a Christian perspective:  We are warned that if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven since the mercy of God will not penetrate an unforgiving heart. If we pray the Lord’s prayer while refusing to forgive, we are calling down condemnation on ourselves. Unforgiveness afflicts a person with spiritual darkness and makes him or her vulnerable to having demons hold the soul captive. Unforgiveness poisons the soul and can destroy both emotional and physical health. Unforgiveness makes it impossible to grow spiritually or to increase in our intimacy with the Lord Forgiving is an opportunity to share in Jesus’ redemptive healing work. In his mysterious wisdom and profound love, when the Father allows someone to hurt or oppose us in some way, He is entrusting that person to our prayers. When our enemy causes us to suffer unjustly, our faith tells us that this was allowed to happen so that we might participate in the mystery of the Cross. Somehow, like those who offered their lives for our faith, the mystery of redemption is being renewed through our own sufferings. Sources: What Is Forgiveness? What does forgiveness mean? Pondering: What Does Forgiveness Mean to You? What Is Forgiveness Really? Releasing the Poison of Unforgiveness Prayer and the Struggle to Forgive |
| So many people judge others or themselves as not being either smart or intelligent because of a lack of education. On the other hand, people with a PhD are often considered more intelligent or smart than they actually are. Certainly there is at least a minimum level of intelligence to complete high school and more intelligence is required to obtain university degrees. Intelligence is defined in the following ways: the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations the act of understanding the ability to learn, understand, and make judgments or have opinions that are based on reason the capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, and similar forms of mental activity; aptitude in grasping truths, relationships, facts, meanings, etc. the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.Dictionaries:  Merriam-Webster Dictionary Cambridge Dictionary Dictionary.com Oxford Dictionary There are several types of intelligence. Consider these five examples which can be enhanced by, but which do not depend on education: Crystallized It depends on knowledge and skills gained through experience, education and training and what we learn through our culture. It remains fairly constant but can increase through development of additional knowledge and skills. Fluid It refers to our ability to: reason, plan, solve problems, see relationships and learn quickly in new situations. It also includes the ability to think abstractly, where others think (and communicate) in a much more literal fashion. Visual processing It involves the ability to visualize, remember and manipulate images in the ‘mind’s eye’. It enables the imagining of objects changing as they move and the ability to predict how they will look after a specific number of twists and turns. Processing speed It refers to how fast your mental processes are when performing basic cognitive tasks like scanning text for something. This one is most affected by age and can be improved by training exercises. Short-term working memory It refers to the memory system that holds in mind a limited amount of information for brief periods. Examples include remembering directions while driving, reason through something to find a solution, or calculate a 15% tip. Education develops your intelligence; it does not determine it. Intelligence is therefore an internal force that governs our capacities and our limitations in acquiring skills in different areas. Education is something that is provided by an external force, typically a teacher, tutor, mentor or parent. Education is what helps you to develop your natural intelligence in different ways. Being educated and being smart are something you earn by effort but intelligence is something you are born with. It is certainly possible to have street smarts and even book-smarts without having the benefit of more than the most basic education. Anyone with sufficient curiosity, diligence and only an elementary school education can increase their book-smarts by regular reading. People with greater intelligence and higher education may lack shrewdness and the creative ability that comes with a capacity for abstract thinking. You have greater opportunity to determine more how smart you will become than you have to increase the intelligence you were gifted with. Smart is an earned status. When we study and learn, we become smarter in the subject matter. Book smart or street smart, we have to put effort into becoming smarter. Intelligence, on the other hand, is something with which you are born. Your IQ is a measurement of your intelligence, and doesn’t change because it is a measure of your ability to learn. Reflect: Did reading the five types of intelligence enable you to perceive yourself as having more intelligence than you initially believed? Looking over the past year, or even the past month, can you identify ways you increased your “smarts”? Has your perception of your “smartness” changed for the better after reading this article?Sources 5 Factors of IQ The Difference between smart and Intelligent (Once and for all) Difference Between Education and Intelligence Difference Between Smart and Intelligent |
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Yes, I know some people do that but I'm a creative writer not a journalist. Poetry sells ... but it's a money-maker for only a few. I write A LOT. Almost 180 pieces since Spring equinox. My goal is 300-400 per year. One year I went over 1,000. I need to do more editing, polishing, sharing, submitting. Writer's block? Who has time for that? I don't.