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 |  I've maxed out. Closed this blog. |
| I can remember when I was young, maybe college age, telling my mother that I just wanted to make the world a better place. I didn't want to be rich or famous or "successful". I wanted to help the poor, to teach, to do good deeds.My little corner of the world would be a better off because I was in it. She didn't laugh at me. Then I got older, and I realized I should have had a better sense of self-preservation. Better pay, savings for a rainy day, some sound investments--they could have come in handy when I had severe health set backs or went through a bad divorce that left me worse off than before I was married, not to mention old age. I missed an awful lot because I wasn't ambitious (and I married a man who couldn't handle money). I took low paying jobs and did volunteer work. Then I ended up relying on the mercy of others just to get by. So I've been forced to suck up my pride a few times and take the help of others. At least I had some decent people who were willing to help without being asked. I learned humility and to be gracious. I've had to admit I made some bad career choices, and a bad choice of a spouse. The worst of it is I don't think I've had much impact. I can't point to any programs I've done or lives I've saved or changed. But we can't rewrite history. I'm not moaning or groaning over things not working out the way I wanted. As long as I still have breath, I can keep on trying. I can never plan on retiring, but that's okay; I'll keep on working, if that's what I have to do. The story isn't over yet. I still have hope. |
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