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Winter Skin

         My hands look so old. It wasn't so long ago that they looked better than this. Maybe it's the dryness of the cold weather. I'm keeping them covered in lotion. They feel soft, but look terrible. It's the texture that looks old. If it's winter dryness, it will disappear when spring comes. But I fear this look is here to stay. I had a good run, and went longer than many my age, but it's caught up with me,

         Whether we like it or not, we all age inside and out. I remember at 26, noticing with my friends the newly formed crow's feet at our eyes. We were horrified. If we had only known what was coming. The bags come under the eyes, the purple veins decorate our eyelids, the frown lines set in, visible at a distance. Then there are sun spots, especially on the "driver's side".

         You hear about age spots when you're young, but you never hear anyone mention an age "bump" or calcium deposits under your skin or lesions. It can be very depressing noticing the changes in your mirror, not from year to year, but from month to month.

         It seems like people can maintain their looks, despite weight changes, hair changes, etc., up to the early 40's,  but after 45, they change more rapidly. If you go 2 or 3 years without seeing someone, when you meet again, you are shocked by their altered appearance. Of course, you've stayed the same. I don't know how many times, I've missed someone for a while, then they move back or change jobs, and then thought, "Wow, she (or he) has really aged."

         Maybe it bothers me so much, because inside I still feel the same. I haven't changed. Why should my outsides be so different? My skin should still be strong, flexible (have elasticity), and be full of life, like me.

         I'll try to think of the fine lines as experience and wisdom and rich memories. Maybe that will help me accept what I see.