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 |  Being a stay at home mom is never as cut and dry as you think it is. |
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Originally my pregnancy blog, now continuing on as the life of a mom and her two wacky kiddos thing till I don't want to write in it anymore  . So come on in and see what's going on in my world for a bit if you like...Be careful where you step, as the kids have all their Pokemon cards out! Feel free to hug a Hello Kitty plush! Come join in the fun, Super Mario Bros. and Hello Kitty style!![Merit Badge in Parenting
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Congratulations on your pregnancy*^*Smile*^*. You already are a wonderful mom to your son and I know this baby will be very blessed also
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In the midst of how you are feeling right now, know that it can be fixed & I'm proud of you for writing the poem that reflects how you feel. The love of your children clearly shines through. *^*Heart*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Family-584.gif) ![Merit Badge in Journaling
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I'm so glad to be back blogging and reading yours. The kids have grown so much! I'm so glad that you, myself and T are still here journaling together!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/type-Journaling-2180.gif) the wonderful badges my "Sister", silversara, graced me with. Thanks Sis, I  you! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thanks to all of you for your support, your comments, your love, your generosity and your time! Never met a greater bunch of people then on here! Besides, who else would want to listen to a rambling crazy mom, both during and especially after pregnancy?
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| Yet another blurring day in summer vacation. As usual, had Don's friend's daughter over till 1:20 pm, then left to occupational therapy. Did the dishes, cleaned up the kitchen, rinse and repeat. Blaaaaahhhhhh.... I'm waiting for all the fun to start when Girl Scouts time kicks in. If I think about it too much, I start freaking out. I've yet to put any meetings together formally, yet write up a letter to the parents about our little troop, or any of that, but we'll see what August holds. I'm sure I'll round some things out next month, to get the ball rolling for our September 18th start. Everyone's doing good for the most part...the kids are becoming agitated when Don's friend's daughter plays with one or the other, and when they try to play together, either Ryan doesn't get his way, or Journey doesn't get her way. Angelina (Don's friend's daughter) is stuck in the middle while the kids duke it out. They literally fight for her attention. Drives me batty. That poor girl doesn't even get a moment to breathe. But they only bicker when she's here...once she leaves, it's like nothing ever happened. I don't get it. I've been on a roller coaster of emotions lately. For the past week at least. I've taken my temper out on a few people, which I regret, and I've done the best I can to apologize, but it is what it is. I'm hoping it's just the hormone fairy coming to pay a visit (she's late, as usual), because if it's not, it's time to call the psychiatrist and get me on something different to deal with all this. I'm a wreck, one minute I'm over-enthused, the next minute I'm screaming my head off, the next minute I'm crying my eyes out. It worries me. I need to get it taken care of ASAP, especially if I'm going to be running things with kids. I really do hope it's the hormone fairy. |
| Journey's appointment went well. The doctor told us he was very pleased with her progress, and that by the time she's 10-12 years old, she should be caught up with her peers. That's good news for us to hear, and I'm very grateful all this work is paying off. Her occupational therapist says she's running out of things to work on with her, since she's mastering everything. I'm glad to hear it! Ryan gave me my first taste of teenage hormones today. He was trying to pull a prank on his sister. I asked him to cut it off at the head so i didn't have to get an earful of her crying and throwing a fit because he tricked her. He got mad, made a face at me, then rolled his eyes when I told him to get over it. He then proceeded to stomp up the stairs, holler "YOU WIN, SO SUE ME!" at Journey, and then slam his door. I don't put up with attitude, especially when it's thrown at me, so I went into his room and let him know in no uncertain terms that he better re-adjust his attitude. It upset him that I got mad with him, and he apologized immediately. I left him in his room to collect himself, and about 45 minutes later, he came down, good as new. I will not tolerate that kind of behavior in my house. I'm his mother, and he needs to show me some respect. We're both pretty lucky that he didn't say something horrible at least. And yes, I know that rolling eyes an making faces shouldn't be too big of a deal, nor should yelling and slamming doors, but I feel it's necessary to nip it in the bud right now before it gets out of hand, because come when he's 16, I won't be tolerating this behavior then either. If he knows now that he needs to keep his attitude in check, hopefully he'll work harder to keep it in check. So far, we're not doing anything very exciting, so we're just hanging out. This weekend is our last lazy weekend, as next weekend Don is going to a D.C. United game. The weekend after that is Don's company picnic. The weekend after that is Journey's birthday party, and then the week after that weekend, school starts. We've got about 5 weeks left till school starts. Summer sure has gone by fast! |
| Sorry I haven't written in a long time, I just haven't had anything to talk about really. I'm not one to force topics...unless it's my handwritten journal and I'm bored. Anyway, enough with that. So, not a lot been going on here. Been going to occupational therapy and speech therapy and gymnastics. Ryan just keeps on, Journey enjoys her time to do her things, although she doesn't enjoy the homework that comes with it. I'm glad for the time out of the house mostly, as well as the privilege of the car. Hopefully with some techniques, Journey won't have such a problem with the homework that her therapists set her up with, like she has been these last couple of weeks. If she freaks out about this homework (which isn't even that hard to be honest), I'm dreading seeing her reaction to 2nd grade homework. This is going to be a long, uphill battle. At least I got some great tips from Susan! I hope they work as well for me as they did for her. I've offered to watch Don's friend's daughter this summer, Monday through Thursday, for the next 6 weeks. It means waking up at 7 am unfortunately (no more sleeping in for me, sadly), but I'm okay with that. The kids love her, we used to walk her to school with the kids when she was going to the elementary school with them. By the time she's in 8th grade, Ryan will be in 6th grade, so he might have a buddy there higher up than him to help him out. We'll see. Journey's developmental pediatrician appointment is coming up quickly. We head to Baltimore at 7 am on Wednesday. Hopefully we won't be there that long, and we'll be able to get Journey to her occupational therapy appointment at 1:30. Her occupational therapist says it's not a big deal and that we can schedule for 3 pm up till 4:30 pm, but the problem with that is that I have her scheduled for her Daisy pictures at 3 pm. I think she takes lunch at 2 pm, but maybe if I call her and tell her that we can't show up at 1:30, she can eat her lunch then and be available for us at 2 pm instead. I'll have to ask her tomorrow when we go see her. She's going to give me a progress report to take to the developmental pediatrician on Wednesday, and I'm going to take that and her school progress report to the appointment. I'm excited to see what he has to say about her progress. She's made a lot of leaps and bounds this last year, and I'm very proud of her. Girl Scouts has done her a world of good, and I'm very grateful for that. She's been more willing to try and socialize, more willing to talk aloud, to share ideas, to make guesses and trials, and to speak out and be herself. I can't believe one organization can do that for my daughter. I just hope that I can carry that on for her when I'm the Brownie troop leader this coming year. I worry about what I'm doing and if I'm doing it right or not for these girls. I want to be the best troop leader I can be for them. Speaking of being a troop leader, everyone's told me that there are such great ideas to run meetings on all throughout the internet, but I've yet to find any. My friend found a website for me and posted it to my Facebook status, and I'm eternally grateful for that, because it actually gives meeting plans that you can work with. I'll more than likely be using many of the plans off that website. I had no idea that there were plans inside the Brownie girl's guide to Girl Scouting, but when I found out there was, I knew I needed to buy that book. I'm buying it, along with a Journey leader guide for one of the Journeys that we're going to do. I just hope I don't have to do the Journeys in order, because the patches to the first Journey are out of stock. Frustrating. I have so many questions. I've been emailing people about them, but I've yet to hear back from anyone. Makes me kind of nervous. I hope I get answers back soon. Maybe I'll blog about the meetings that I had with the girls, so that way if someone's looking for Brownie troop ideas, I can be the internet help that people are seeking. It's an idea, considering I can't seem to find anything to help me. Why should someone else have to suffer the same fate? |
| Camp was a very enjoyable experience for Journey this year. I'm so glad she enjoyed it, because the night before camp started, she came into my room, crying her eyes out because she was so nervous to go. I felt terrible, and a part of me wanted to back out and cancel her going, but the bigger part of me said "No way, I paid for her to go to camp, and she's going to camp." So I sent her. When she saw that bus, she put on her brave face, and climbed aboard. At first, the first couple of days she didn't have much to say about camp. She told me more the second day than she did the first, and everything she told me was in spurts, which makes me assume that her memory gets overloaded, and she needs time and a calm moment to recall just what happened that day. If it was something really big to her (like riding the paddle boats, having a water game day, or doing swaps) she remembered it the second she got off the bus, and told me all about it. Everything else came with time. By the third day, she told me about all the girls in her unit, what their names were, and that she made a couple of friends, named Taylor and Rachel. Taylor is 7, and is going to be a Brownie next year like Journey. Rachel is also 6 like Journey, and is also going to be a Brownie next year. I'm assuming they put girls that had completed what was to be their second year of Daisies together at camp so they would all meet someone similar to them, which I think is a great idea. Journey thoroughly enjoyed camp, which I'm very glad about. She came back a little more confident each day, and was excited to go after the first day went so well. It's definitely an experience that both she and I would like to participate in again next year. Ryan and I had a very enjoyable time together throughout the week. We talked, hung out, I watched him play his games, we played some games of our own, and we generally enjoyed each other's company while Journey was out at camp. I'm so glad I got the chance to spend time with just Ryan, which I never get to. Journey and I get many opportunities to spend time one on one, but Ryan and I don't, so it was a nice week. Especially his birthday, which we enjoyed Dunkin Donuts, buying some Skylanders for his game, getting a new game, getting lunch at Bob Evans, getting snacks at Target, and also talking to a Nintendo rep while he was servicing the Wii U. The rep advised that Ryan could get into becoming a game tester for Nintendo when he was job age, and that he would become a game developer after being a tester for a couple of years. Ryan's whole face lit up with that prospect, as all he's ever dreamed about since he was 6 was to work at Nintendo. This week we're just hanging out. Journey has a dentist appointment tomorrow for a cleaning, and the only therapy she has scheduled for this week is speech on Wednesday. We're hoping to meet up with Ryan's best friend James for a play date at the park, but if weather doesn't cooperate, Ryan has been invited to have the play date at James's house instead. Friday we have gymnastics (which we skipped last week, as by the time Journey got off the bus from Girl Scout camp, it was already time for the class to start. We would've been half an hour late getting there, and that would only give her a half an hour to do anything in class.), but other than those four things, we have nothing else planned. Thursday Don has off because of the 4th of July. Hopefully the weather holds out so we can barbeque. So pretty much a laid back week. Next week, we return to our regularly scheduled week, and we'll be on track again for everything. The 17th, we have an appointment in Baltimore with Journey's developmental pediatrician. I can't wait to tell him the progress that she's making, and bring him her progress report from school. |
| Last night was Ryan's birthday party, and I have to say that he thoroughly enjoyed himself. Our friends Jenn and Mark and their three kids came, as well as all four of Ryan's best friends. We paid for all the kids' dinners (and our own as well-the adults had to pay for their own), and we brought a cake. The only problems were, I forgot candles for the cake, and I forgot my camera, so I missed a lot of great opportunities to take pictures. My friend Jenn took some pictures on her husband's phone, and I took a couple of pictures on Ryan's friend Noah's phone, but I don't know when I'm going to get them to post them on Facebook. This dinner cost less for all eight kids (and two adults) than it would've for us throwing him a themed birthday party in the park like we normally do. I spend somewhere around $250 to put together a birthday party for the kids every year (per kid), so this dinner was way cheaper than that. Ryan had a blast, he was so thrilled to be able to go to dinner with his best friends, they talked and joked and just enjoyed everything. The service was great as well, Red Robin really held up with fourteen guests, and was able to get us a round of drinks, and then a round of refills, and our food in a timely manner. They brought out the cake and sang to Ryan, then brought plates and a knife for me to dissect the cake for all there to eat. It really was a fantastic night! Ryan told me numerous times in no uncertain terms that this was the best birthday party he ever had, even better than the themed ones we used to throw in the park. I just figured, for the price it cost to throw this themed party in the park, and only get six kids showing up, I could just invite them to dinner instead. It definitely worked out well. Ryan and I will be on our own together for his actual tenth birthday, as Don will be at work, and Journey will be at Girl Scout day camp. I've promised Ryan that we would go to Dunkin Donuts to get some donuts and drinks in the morning, then out to Game Stop to use his gift cards to get the game that he wants, then to Bob Evans to get his free meal. After that, we would pick up Journey, and we would go home, and I'd make the dinner he requested-ravioli. I can't believe my first born baby is going to be ten already! Where does the time go? After summer, he'll begin his last year in elementary school. I'm so not ready for this. They grow up so fast. |
| As I said before, Journey is continuing speech therapy and occupational therapy throughout the summer. Today was the first time we saw he occupational therapist now that it's summer. She had her do quite a few things, and I'm impressed with all that Journey has picked up through her appointments. I venture to say Journey cuts better with a pair of scissors than I do! I'm dead terrible at cutting, But Journey is doing fantastically at it! Her gross motor is improving as well, which I'm very thrilled about. I'm glad we're continuing on with occupational therapy over the summer! So many good things for her motor skills! Speech is my biggest breakthrough this year though. I'm so impressed with what her speech therapist has done with her! We use scripts ALL THE TIME now. I especially have to pull out the scripts when she's upset for some reason. Though I'm mostly doing guess work as to what caused her to get upset, I think it's starting to help her understand more about her feelings. Right now, she understands that she's upset, but she can't really explain why. I'm trying to help her script why she's upset. That's a lot harder to do though, because it could be a number of things that causes her to get upset. She can't just use one script for when she's upset, but I'm trying to expose her to the script set up so she can go to that instead of being confined to "I don't know" and dissolving into tears. (*UPDATE!* Journey started crying when I told her it was time for bed, and I asked her why she was crying, and she said of course "I don't know", so I asked her if she was sad because she had to go to bed, which she said yes, and then I asked her why she didn't want to go to bed, and she responded "I'm just not ready to go yet". Good share Journ!) So far, it's starting to work. Questions she didn't have answers to, she's starting to find answers. I'm so proud of all the work she's putting into this! And the coup de gras-she initiates conversations now!!! On the second to last day of school, she held a conversation with one of her Daisy "Sister"s in the line to school before the arrival bell rang. At first, I didn't think anything of it, but then she actually held a conversation with her for two whole minutes! Introduction, exchanges, ending, everything! I was blown away! I read in her report from her special ed teacher that they were having difficulty getting her to initiate or hold conversations with peers, and that's one of her IEP goals. But then I saw this, and I was just blown away! I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes! I was so excited, I wrote it in the speech therapist's thank you card for the end of the year. Just today, we were at the park, Ryan was meeting with his best friend James to have a play date. Journey wandered around freely, doing what it is Journey does when she's on a playground and her brother is doing something different. Suddenly, she came upon a little girl who asked her something. She began responding. They talked for at least a minute, and then said good-bye. Again, wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't witnessed it myself! My friend Kelly and I watched as she talked with this little girl, then left. I was so thrilled! I later asked Journey about the encounter. She said that the little girl told her her name, but she didn't recall it (that's fair, because Journey doesn't have the best short term memory), but that she also told her she was a Brownie Girl Scout! I was so happy for her! I can't wait to find out how well she responds at Girl Scout camp! She was merely floating along last year at Girl Scout camp, and I couldn't get much out of her in the way of what she did that day, or who she talked to (I'm assuming she didn't talk to anyone other than who was in charge), but I think this year, now that speech and our work and our scripts and everything has opened her up, I think that she's going to be able to tell me about the girls that are there, and who she talked to, and what she did. She's come such a far way from where she was! I'm so proud of her! We will continue to work every day, as best we can! |
| Today was the last day of school for the kids. They'll be out for nine weeks, and then go back in August 21st, two days before Journey's birthday (which also falls on a Friday). There's not a whole lot planned in these nine weeks to be honest. It all depends on how much time Don has that he can take off, and how much money we have, etc. Smithsonian's may be free, but Metro fare isn't, and neither is gas to get to the Metro stop. Ryan's best friend will be out of state right after his birthday party, and then out of country for the entire month of July, so Ryan won't really have an opportunities to see him during the summer. I hope he gets to see his other two friends during the summer at least. The summer is going to be most boring for Ryan, and I feel bad for him. If we had more money, we could send him to some sort of summer camp at least for a week that wouldn't be so boring. The only reason we're sending Journey is because we get financial assistance so she can go. I can actually send her for an obtainable fee, so why not put her in? I wish there was such a thing for Ryan. I wish they had grants for soccer camps or something so he could go. *sigh.* However, I have gotten him into Harry Potter this summer, and I'm thrilled that he's so taken by it! He's on Prisoner of Azkaban now. I'm curious to see what he has to say about it. We haven't had any big powwows about the books yet, but I'm waiting to see what he has to say. If he has any questions or particularly likes something, I hope he'll come to me and talk to me about it, and then we can Harry Potter geek out together! I've waited YEARS for this opportunity. I always hoped I would have a reader that would be interested in HP that I could share with them. Now I'm getting that opportunity! We've been working with Journey on her scripts. I didn't realize I needed to make scripts of her talking at the dinner table, talking to an adult authority figure (such as a camp counselor), and for when she's upset. The ones where she's upset are especially hard but helpful. She melted down the other night because she didn't want to go to bed. So I worked a script with her to tell us that she didn't want to go to bed because she wasn't ready yet. Then I had to break down why she had to go to her so she would understand and agree to go to bed. I feel bad, because I'm so used to Ryan telling me what's wrong and his reasonings with no qualms, that I forget that this is difficult for Journey to do. Emotions and feelings are hard to explain, and hard to pinpoint. She's been working really hard with her speech therapist to make it possible so that she can actually try to identify emotions on other people, as well as explain her feelings and thoughts for others to hear. We work all the time with the "I feel...", though I do most of the guesswork, and try to put together a script for her to use. I wish she would remember the scripts we make though. *sigh.* Oh well, we'll just keep trying. Other than that, not much else going on. Off to summer we go! |
| Just when you think you're making progress and things are looking better, you get a set back and it upsets you. Journey HATES homework. Of any type. Sadly, she gets a lot of it. Homework from school, homework from speech, homework from occupational therapy. Now the speech and the occupational therapy aren't much, there are worksheets from speech, and there are just continuing skills being worked on for occupational therapy. I asked her yesterday if we could work on cutting like Miss Kristen (her occupational therapist) asks us to do, and she totally melted down on me. Just dissolved into a fit of tears, like I was asking for blood from her. And then she regressed back to the "I don't know"s, which drives me nuts. I sat very patiently with her, trying to calm her down, and kept reminding her that "I don't know" is not an answer. Nothing, no doing. Usually, I'm the only one to calm her down when she goes into a fit, but apparently since I started it, I helped roll it downhill fast. So frustrated and frazzled, I handed her over to Don to see if he had better luck with it than I did. (Small note: we try never to let Journey see that we're super frustrated. She can tell that I don't know what do to, but I don't throw my hands in the air and say "That's it! I give up!", I don't want to think she's a failure or that I can't help her. I try to say "Let's see what Daddy thinks" to try and get a fresh perspective into the situation.) Don, it seems, had much better luck with her than I did. She calmed down enough to listen to him, and then with some coaxing, started to work on her cutting skills with him while I went to a therapy appointment and lamented to my therapist how I felt like a failure when she melts down. It seriously can be maddening when she melts down like that. I try to get her to use her words to tell me what's wrong, and why she doesn't want to do it, but she just can't. All this time in speech therapy, and she still can't tell me when she melts down. Not to say that speech therapy isn't helping, it completely and totally is. She's come a great way from where she used to be. I just don't know what to do with her when she melts down like that and clams up. All she knows is she's upset. She can't say why, and she doesn't really know how to express what's going on, so she just freaks out instead. My therapist said if she says no, to just leave it at that, because sometimes people don't feel like doing something they don't want to do, and no one questions them about it. I tried to think of a time when Ryan didn't want to do something and just said he didn't feel like it, but the only time that comes to mind is when he was potty training. My problem is though, how do I get her to do homework without fighting her? It needs to be done. Some days she's agreeable, and she'll listen and we can work on it together, and other days it's just melt down city, and I can't get anything done (even anything I need to do for the family or someone else, like helping Ryan do something or starting to make dinner) until I can contain her and get her to calm down. I try to make it so she doesn't have to do it every night, where she can just do it two or three nights a week instead of doing it every night, but it doesn't seem to help. Should I maybe just have her do it every day? Get her used to doing homework nightly? I don't know. I'm so worried I'm doing this wrong. Thank goodness school's almost over and she no longer has homework...but for some reason, when she's asked to do work from speech or from occupational therapy, that upsets her more than if it's from school and her teacher. I don't know if she feels like work from those two places needs to be contained to those two places, or what the case is. I wish she could tell me. It's hard to guess. I think I'll tell her occupational therapist about it tomorrow, and see what she says. I don't want her to think that I'm forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do, but I want to show her that I'm trying to continue carrying out working on skills that she's working on in therapy at home as well. *Sigh.* |
| There's a regional commercial here with a little girl that talks like Journey. She says "castes" just like Journey does. We giggle, because we love hearing Journey talk. She says things like "castes", "forestes", "vestes", "haded" and "sayes" instead of "sez". We think she talks absolutely adorable! I'm sure she'll soon grow out of it (she also says "fanks" instead of "thanks"), but for now it's precious to hear, and I love it. I allowed Ryan to do something I never have before the other day. I was still in pajamas and in need of a shower, so Ryan offered to go check the mail for me. Now, the mailbox is on the other side of the complex, across from the playground, so I wasn't so sure I wanted him to go by himself. Usually, I don't let them go by themselves. Ryan insisted it wasn't that far and assured me he could make it without any hassles, so despite my worry, I decided to let him go. As promised, he went straight to the mailboxes and came right back with the mail in his hands. It's so hard to let go. He's going to be 10 in less than a month, and it just scares me. I wish he didn't have to grow up. I don't like that he's going into his last year of elementary school this coming school year, but there's nothing I can do to stop it. I'm trying to give him more opportunities to grow and show some independence, but I really wish I didn't have to. I know someday I'm going to have to let him go, but I wish it wasn't coming up so soon. I'm not ready for the day he has to get off the bus by himself and walk two blocks to get home. I've already talked with his neighborhood friend Jante and asked him to keep an eye on Ryan and walk with him to get into the complex, but it doesn't make me feel any easier that my son, who will only be 11 at that time, will be walking two blocks by himself to get to our house, which I may or may not be there to greet him (I might be needing a job by that time) as he walks through the door. Scares the bejeebers outta me. He takes it easy on me though, and doesn't ask to do things that would give me a heart attack; he mostly keeps it easy on things and only asks what he thinks I can handle. I'm grateful for that. Kids grow so fast.  |
| On Thursday, Journey and I went on a field trip with the rest of the first grade class to the National Zoo. We had a wonderful time! I remembered from when I went with Ryan to the National Zoo three years ago. It was hotter than Hades that day; 99 degrees, heat index 102. I made sure to bring lots of frozen bottles of water for both me and Ryan, and we wandered the zoo with his then best friends Marissa (whom is now a casual acquaintance) and James (who is still his best friend). We had a fantastic time, but we were very much overheated. The kids lived in the misters that were all over the zoo, trying to beat the heat. Wonderful trip, miserable day to go. Thursday was a much better day. It was a bit humid out because it was trying to rain, but there was no rain, it stayed cloudy for most of the day, and though I was sweaty that day too, it wasn't nearly as bad as when I went with Ryan. We toured the zoo with Journey's best friend Bradley and his dad, and had a fantastic time! We looked at pandas, and small mammals, and elephants, seals, farm animals, lions and tigers, and animals you'd find in the Amazon. We had lunch by the new carousel that they erected in the park (I had never seen it before and it's been two years since I've been to the zoo before this), and generally just enjoyed touring around. The great thing about the field trip is we're not all touring as a group, we're free to wander around the zoo at our own pace and see what we want to see. I took quite a few pictures, and posted them on Facebook. All in all, I think Journey had a good time! And since she threw up in Jenn's van on the way back from Waldorf, we decided not to take any chances and gave her some Dramamine on the bus so she wouldn't get sick to or from the zoo. It paid off, as she didn't feel nauseous any time on the bus. We're having a pool party for the Daisies on June 3rd at a friend's house. There will be pizza and cake there, which I bet all the girls are excited about! I also get to dish out all the cookie patches that the girls earned during cookie sales this year! Journey's vest will be complete with all patches earned this year on it, hooray! Now I can schedule her appointment to get her pictures taken in her Girl Scout uniform and we can show off all her patches! Journey's also going to be going to Girl Scout camp this year! With some financial aid, we were able to pull off getting her to go, so she'll be leaving for day camp starting June 24th and ending June 28th. Ryan and I will have his birthday together that day, just me and him. I can't say I've ever had a birthday with Ryan when it's been only me and him before, in all the (almost) 10 years that he's been alive. We'll see what we can find to do that day. |
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