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Don't judge a book by its cover... This isn't about tube anemones.
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS SQUIRT THE JUICE INTO THE EYES OF YOUR ENEMIES... |
| After a long and strange hiatus, I am waking up in a room I don't remember being in. I'm in a half finished chicken coop, lying on a cot. Wait, I remember an epic battle with a cat last night, it ended with me falling on the floor and cracking my head pretty good. I remember screaming in rage at being bested by a cat and a pair of socks on a slick floor. My head hurts. So does my back. There was a demon. No there's still a demon... But maybe that crack on the head sent it away for awhile. Or at least to sleep and plot the death of the cat? (Don't get me wrong, I love the cat, I love all animals, but this little motherfucking furball asshole has it coming, and I'm just going to step the fuck out of the way if it does happen.) Apollyon. Where did Spook go? Am I Spook? If so, where did Shanna go? Agh, this is so confusing! Where did the last six years of my life go?! I don't know what's going on, and my head really hurts. I have to sort this out. No more flies and honey. Fuck all that nonsense. I think the people are wasps dressed as bees, and they carry poison in their fake furry suits. I'm not catching flies anymore. I'm killing wasps. What's a nice catch phrase for that? |
| Got the GM position at moore today. I'm excited, but also a bit scared shitless. I've been GM at 74th and Del City, but this is a million dollar store, which in a way is a lot better because I have a much better chance of hitting my goals. I start Tuesday, can't wait to break the whip out and start cracking! My goals remain pretty much the same, buy a brand new car, which at this pay I can do in just about six months give or take. I'll have a week paid vacation this time next year, so that gives me that much time to make as many bonuses as possible, buy awesome new car, and save a good chunk of money for a REAL vacation. Going to drive to Arizona and visit caduceus cellars. Maybe I'll just bug out altogether and follow Maynard on tour, or stalk him or something. Who knows. Situation here is getting volatile. Libby goes to Arkansas to see her fuckbuddy just about every other week, and stays for about a week. Mike is getting frayed. I think he's going to start smoking that shit again. I have to get out of here soon. So that has to be added to the equation. Hopefully... No. I won't even say it. I'll just look back someday and be sad that I was optimistic about it. Why God continues to fuck with me remains a mystery. I feel so disconnected. Oh my, don't forget the joke you played on Joel, Capn bee, fuck it was soooo funny! He was so serious, asked what the news was. I was totally dead pan, said, "I guess it's my last day." His face just fell and he sort of leaned against the wall for support. I whispered, "As a driver." The emotions that crossed his face! And then he sproinged into the air and twirled and began an assault on inanimate objects, yanking on the sink, and I'm trying not to laugh out loud, and I hear Larry, so concerned, from the other side of the wall say "Somethings wrong with Joel", cause he's banging on the sink. That just makes me laugh harder, and now it sounds like I'm crying, because I am, but good tears, uncontrollable laughter tears, the best kind. I look over and Joel is on his knees doing a praise Jesus thing and that's it, I'm done, I lost it completely. Larry comes flying around the corner and I'm bent over the sink sobbing with laughter. I hear Joel say "She's laughing, it's okay", and Larry grabs me and hugs me so tight...fuck, let's not get into that. But oh God, good times! Oh, and then joels still all excited so he punches this box...it's a box of fritos, and it goes flying across the room. He said "Oh shit! I thought that would have been heavier!" And runs over to pick it up. But his whole joyful attack on the objects just cracked me the fuck up all day long. He's awesome. So here's to another try at a new life. It almost never works out the way I want, but I'm GOING to Arizona. And I'd do it if I had to walk... And Jennifer has no fucking idea what she's done. Pissed me the fuck off. That's what she's done. Horrible idea. Just sayin'. |
| My First Flight: You might be moved by the sheer technology of it or the travel abilities that it affords. Let's see if you can connect with the excitement and the mystery and how it has changed your view on travel. What...what does that mean? I've never flown and don't plan on ever doing it. I flew once when I was very small and still believed everything was possible. I did it by concentrating all my energy on pushing down on gravity and rising above it. I flew around my backyard many times. Did it really happen? Hell, I don't know. I don't believe anything is possible anymore, so I don't believe I did. But I remember it, so my brain is very confused. But planes? Hell no. My only opinion is that planes make it way easier to transmit communicable disease. So poo on planes. Poo. |
| DAY 700 October 18, 2014 Prompt: Your ship has just wrecked on a deserted island. What skill do you have that will make you useful to the group? I am an extremely multitalented person, so I like to think I could be a valuable member to any group. First off, I can sing, which I think is one of the most important skills anyone could have. If I'm trapped on an island with someone who can't sing I'm eating them. Just saying. I'm also very proficient at making shelter, I can make fire from flint or sticks and string (I've done both just to see if I could), oh, and glass, I like starting fires from glass. I have the animal touch, so even though it would break my heart to do it, I could call animals to me...someone else would have to do the killing and cleaning, but I can catch them. I'm great at rigging things, so if something important breaks or we need to create something weird, I got this. But the most important thing I have is my brain. No, you don't get to eat it. I'm saying my ass would not have been on a damn ship to begin with. I'm smarter than that. |
We are bitter losers, snarling through our smiles, we're the lost boys in the supermarket aisles. We are Christmas dogs dumped by the side of the road, confused we will run for miles. We are roadrage, we are stoneage, we are wild. Well, I've been thinking lately that I'd like a prompt with a little more meat, a little more cushion for pushin', so to speak, but I was a little unprepared to open my email to Prompt: ebola. Thoughts? I suppose this is a hot button topic right now, but I sort of live in a different world than most. I avoid the news like the plague...that was not meant to be a pun but what the hell, I'll take it. There's enough horror in my own head, I don't need any more. I honestly live by that age old wisdom Ignorance is bliss. There's so little joy in the news, just this country wants to blow up that country, millions are dying from this or that, earthquakes and fires and disease and now this sounds like my dreams. That's why I don't watch the news to begin with. Dreams. Unfortunately my stupid brother can't get enough. And even though he knows how I feel, he finds it necessary to ask, "Did you hear about that guy that got shot for reaching for his license when the cop asked him to get his license?" Of course not, idiot. My attitude is the same as his when I bring up the horrible things he did to me when I was little...La la la, didn't happen. So now he RECORDS the news so he can show me! How considerate! So what I've been getting at here in a long and rambling way is that I don't know much about it. I'm aware it's popped up in Texas, not so very far from me in the crows flight path. That guy better hope he dies from it because he lied about being exposed and may have caused a pandemic outbreak. If he lives he'll be charged with terrorism, and if it spreads and anyone dies he will be charged with each death. I understand it's not a pleasant way to die, but there are so few of those, and there's no cure. Bill Gates dropped something like $500,000 to help find a cure. I hope this isn't Captain Trips (name that book!). Other than that, I don't particularly have any thoughts on ebola itself. Personally, I'm far more worried about a tornado landing on my head, or being in a car accident that I won't walk away from, things of that nature. It seems like every year there's some new unseen virus scare that has everyone freaking out and then when nothing happens the CDC just kind of says yeah, well, maybe not this time, but just you wait... I hope this is one of those times. I've been dying slowly and painfully for a long time now, not in that emo sense that EVERYONE IS DYING SLOWLY AND LIFE IS PAIN, but in the very real sense of dying slowly and painfully. I'm still a young woman and already I can't write by hand anymore, I take a massive amount of painkillers and chemo fetus...sorry, I had to leave that one, it made me laugh. Sounds like a punk band name. Chemo drugs is what I meant. My brain is going, my nerves are constantly on fire, I feel like I'm full of red hot nails and icicles...I could go on and on. I won't. I don't know what ebola is like, but let's just say I'm not going to worry about it either. Unrelated note: it was just Monday all day, and there was nothing I could do about it! I was running late for my Dr appt, got there and Dr janitor (I'll have to explain that sometime) said I was a day early. The really sad thing is that's not the first time I've done that. Tips sucked ass all day. Here's a quick question- anyone know what 15% of $24.00 is? I know, it's a tricky one. I'll give you a hint, it's not nothing. Especially if you live ten miles away. Do people who don't tip their delivery driver not tip their waiter/waitress either? 'Cause I can tell you, they're doing a hell of a lot less work. Just wondering. Ooh Andrea promised promised promised to give me some new ink Wednesday, we're thinking of something to cover up this weird thing on my knee that I did with India ink and a straight pin when I was twelve. It's a heart on fire but it looks more like a mutant jellyfish now. I'm thinking a dragon, but I think Libs has my only good dragon sketch and she's STILL NOT BACK. ANGRY FACE. . So angry. Words cannot describe. Maybe I can work up something tomorrow before my actual Dr appt. Or maybe I can just go with a different sketch, I have them all in my photobucket now. Go photobucket! Don't believe I'm getting to the other prompt tonight. Too much sleepy, not enough space. Flies and honey. Yes, I'm starting to believe that again. Goodnight self, since everyone else gave up on this long ass rambling thing nine paragraphs ago. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| One thing you should know about me, I'm a problem solving fool. My ex was constantly pissed at me because I didn't plan for the future, and I told him I'm not a planner, I'm a fixer, and I don't have time to plan because I'm fixing all your fuck ups. I can McGyver the crap out of anything-I have proof. There is currently the hollow barrel of a bic ink pen holding two hoses together under the hood of my civic. Seems you can only get formed hoses from the dealership, and I'll be damned if I'm giving those bastards my hard earned money when apparently all it takes is an ink pen. 87ยข. Problem solved. When it became clear that my ex, though I still love him even now, months later, was completely insane from smoking that fake pot, AND IF I FIND OUT ANY OF YOU ARE SMOKING IT I WILL FIND YOU AND TIE YOU TO THE BUMPER OF MY TRUCK AND DRAG YOU THROUGH YOUR RESPECTIVE TOWNS! and I just pictured our future as a washing machine with no soap, I solved the problem by leaving. When I realized I had something terribly wrong with me and couldn't afford a doctor, I became the general manager at my restaurant. You have to be manager for ninety days before you're eligible for health insurance. What an awful time. It's a very labor intensive job. Then I had to find the doctors, get the referrals, the tests, the diagnoses, blah blah. Finally got where I needed to be. When I was positive I was able to keep my insurance, I stepped down and went back to driving. Problem solved. I now have very good insurance, very cheap, and the job I like. Problem solved. I think I kind of take a storm the beach at Normandy approach to problems. Assess, formulate, attack. It gets results. Otherwise things would be a lot different. Just a little haha: Delivered to a guy today, did the normal hi, how are you routine. He said, living the dream, yourself? I had to laugh. I answered, "The same. Not sure whose dream, but whatever." He said, "Well it's like I always say, crazy people have to dream too, right?" Best customer of the day. OK. Raindrops journey, huh? I'm tired and I have an appointment with the pain doctor, who I think has misinterpreted his title. He's quick as a greased weasel, likes to sneak up on me and try to pop my head off, or see if he can grind a hole through my chest with his elbow. I think it's just his excuse for foreplay. His poor wife. Oh, raindrops, right. From high atop a mountain peak I glide and splash my way through rocks, through rapids, in and out of earth, over cliffs I become a tiny jewel in the necklace of a rainbow. Down and down and over and through sometimes fast and sometimes slow. I move through the gills of a fish as it breathes I am swallowed by the bear that eats the fish. Now I am moving through the bear and out and again I am in the stream, fast and faster, now slow and slow and sit in a vast sea with a million billion others like me. The sun begins to pick us up gently, one by one, like a lover picks roses for his beloved, and carries us ever so gently in its rays, gathering us from field and flower, creek and ocean in a net made from pure light. The net becomes ever heavier as we travel, slowly, back to the mountains from which we all came. The bottom of the gossamer net bulges and catches on the peak of the tallest mountain and down we go fast and fast, slipping and sliding, roaring and flying, down and down from high atop the mountain peak, rejoining the stream that flows down from the sky. I was right. That was totally lame. Goodnight. |
Oh my God, I'm not doing the dead musician challenge thing but I was just listening to Stevie Ray Vaughan playing Little Wing and I thought, hey, he's dead, and this is one of my favorite pieces of music ever! Somebody please, please use that! Educate the masses! Thank you to whichever of my favorite people does this for me!  |
| I've been wracking my brain for hours trying to think of some movie or song or something that I had hated initially and come to love. The problem is, if I hate something in the beginning, I generally don't change my attitude toward it. I'm not one of those people who hates things just because I hate them. I watched Maleficent even though I absolutely loathe Angelina Jolie (yes, go on and hate me, I don't care!), because it looked like an AWESOME movie, and I was right. I gave 47 Ronin a try even though...well it has Keanu Reeves in it for Gods sake! But it was a good movie despite that. The point I'm making is I don't just hold preconceived ideas against anything, so I hate everything in the beginning and then I'm pleasantly surprised when I don't hate it anymore! Then, when I woke up it just popped into my head unbidden, as most things do. My brain is a muscle, as they say, and it has to unclench to let the brainlactic acid release. I had a memory of me at six or seven. In my household, growing up, you didn't waste food. Mom worked three jobs sometimes, I'm pretty sure there was a curse placed on the women of our line somewhere back in time to work and toil and live with a constantly broken aching heart and go insane. Anyway, you appreciated whatever scraps of food you got, whatever it was. Sometimes it was undescernible as food, but by God you ate that shit. One night she set my plate down in front of me and there was what I swear was a pile of small squat roaches. Needless to say, I refused to eat it. "It's long grain brown rice. Eat it. It's good." I did not eat it. It looked like roaches. I was grateful for a lot of things, but we lived in the ghetto, had a roach problem, mom was a practical joker, and I wasn't sure I trusted her. She tried ordering. "Eat it or you're sitting here until you do." I sat there for an hour, two hours. She tried bargaining. "Just eat one bite and you can be done." I would not eat one bite. She stopped trying. She grabbed my up by my shirt, threw me on the ground, sat on my chest, and began the great Rice War. After maybe an hour she managed to cram a few grains in my mouth and poured water on my face to make me swallow. This is the same woman who held me under water in the bathtub to teach me how to swim. God rest her crazy fucking soul. I didn't eat wild rice until I was 31, when I had a fever so high I had no idea what was happening. My ex got me a can of chicken and wild rice soup and fed it to me. Later I asked what it was because it was good. I was appalled when he told me, but then I shrugged it off. It was good soup, man. So now I like long grain wild rice.  |
| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Sweet! Sometimes accomplishing the most seemingly simple things brings me such satisfaction and pleasure! Much thanks to Marci Missing Everyone  for my beautiful sig, and for helping me display it! I've been trying to figure out how to post pictures and things, and now I know how! Score!Prompt for Blog City: Smells associated with autumn. Walking out the front door. It's nighttime. I inhale deeply of the crisp air. Yesterday it was eighty degrees, today it was fifty. As Will Rogers said, if you don't like the weather in Oklahoma, stick around for a few minutes. It'll change. The first thing I scent is woodsmoke. Fires are lit in chimneys all around town, their fragrant bouquet wafting on the breeze. I breathe this one in deep. I love the smell of fire. Sharp, stinging, the individual oils of the wood adding their own unique fingerprint. On my next inhalation comes the tang of damp leaves, cool grass heavy with dew, grass that will soon turn yellow and dormant as winter rolls in. October moths dance around the porch light, casting ever changing shadows. Back inside, a huge smile lights my face as I smell the best scent of all the autumn smells... Coffee! Nothing welcomes in the colder weather like the unmistakeable aroma of coffee! |
| Hello new neighbors! I just moved in down the street and thought I'd introduce myself. My name is Spook, my turn ons include music, writing, sarcasm and hilarious autocorrect mistakes. My turn offs are idiots, non-tippers, and close minded fools. I'd like to start today by writing on a prompt so you can get to know my off key sense of humor. Or lack thereof. I haven't decided yet which fork I'm taking. Todays prompt didn't Choy and pirate...see, auto correct, I love it...copy and paste like I wanted, so I'll have to try and remember, which isn't easy to do when your brain cells are being eaten by your own retarded ass white blood cells, but here's trying. Something about if I feel bad for writing about my life and people I know, and how to balance that or something. I absolutely write about everything. If they don't want to be written about, they shouldn't do such dumb shit. I wouldn't read it to them, our embarrass them directly, and in the beginning I didn't use their names, but now I dint really care. They're never going to see this, no one they know is ever going to see this, and again, they shouldn't do such dumb shit. They live in my life and my life is purged into this paper, so that's that. Spit spot and whatnot. |
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