%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |  I've maxed out. Closed this blog. |
|
This is a way of making myself write something coherent and grammatically correct almost every day. I'm opinionated and need an outlet. I'm also prone to flights of fancy. Thanks for stopping by. |
| I know I'm the meanest one in my family. I'm the only one who thinks the best squirrel is a dead squirrel. Now before you get upset, like my family, let me explain the background. When my husband and I had a cedar siding A-frame in a gated, woodsy lake community, we were under attack from squirrels. We fed the birds because we liked watching them through the big glass front of the house, especially in the snowy weather. The squirrels kept destroying the bird feeders, literally shredding them to get the seed. We came home one day in December and our Christmas lights were cut in 4 inch sections all along the railing on the front deck and steps. I was ready to call the police about the young vandals in the neighborhood when I happened to look up and noticed it was like that across the roof edge. Kids would have needed an extension ladder to get up there. It suddenly hit me: Squirrels! Sure enough there were pieces that had dropped to the ground all along the porch and corners. Then for Christmas, someone gave us a plastic thistle feeder. We hung it from a long wire from a tree branch. It had a "squirrel-proof" roof and roost for birds. When we got home from work, the feeder was broken into parts and lying across the yard; the seed was gone. Once on the ground, the plastic had been clawed to pieces until the seed came out. We visualized squirrels doing a trapeze act and jumping onto the feeder to knock it down. These squirrels had guerrilla warfare training and were enterprising. We finally gave up on the bird feeding. Then the squirrels started eating the cedar siding on the corners of the house. They broke into the shed by chewing the corner off the wooden door, squeezed flat as a pancake to get through the frame molding, and tore the insulation where the shed attached to the house. They ran around in the roof of the house until I figured out what was creating that racket. War broke out. I'll spare you the details; it wasn't pretty. Where I live now, the squirrels come for the bird food which my father loves to put out for his cardinals, doves, wrens, and spring robins and the occasional blue jay. We keep two b-b guns just for chasing squirrels away. Dad keeps knocking them over, so they're out of alignment, and we can't hit a target. The neighbor's cat keeps killing the birds. We like the neighbor, but we could do without the cat. And the neighbor behind us has a farm. His free range chickens are scratching up my flower beds, covering my walkways and patio with dirt. They're pooping all over the patio and deck so that the kids can't go out bare footed. I'm going to wring a neck if I catch one. They aren't afraid. I've chased them with a broom, but they just cluck and mosey on. I'm going to get some traps. I might get a chicken. I might get some squirrels; they're trickier. And I might catch a cat. Let some people come claim them. That might get the message across. Now the squirrels will...well,that will be my secret. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
