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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/muzzy43/day/10-15-2014
Rated: 18+ · Book · Fantasy · #1712884
Why I want to write a book
Thoughts on life and society can be pointless, but that's what books are for. I've never enjoyed reading.
It's always been difficult for me to read. Sometimes, I imagine little demons pulling at my eye lids.
The Devil is in the details. I like people, who can act. They're fun to watch. I guess I wish I could be an
actor, but I just don't have that charm and I stutter. My life is meaningless. I just lope from one place to
another. I think that's my strength. Most people need a career and family. .. Family is a nice idea, but
I've never had a nice family. Is this becoming annoying? ...

Let's start with Vertago! He's cool and a stud. He also is popping up a lot in my movie watching. The mind
can make association: like is the guy on the radio talking to me? Or why am I seeing so many eye balls in
my movie watching? Jeeeze! I just saw CASE 39. A really scary movie with an eye ball scene that's very icky.
This guy has a hornet come up out of his eye's lid.. tear duck. Any who, it's scary. Well, when I was
Veratgo on Private Games.com my picture was of my left eye.
It was trippy. Just a note to the CASE 39 writers: Lilith is not evil. I'm talking about Adam's first wife, expelled
from Eden, because she "Would not be his beast of burden." Lilith is the first feminist in Bible Lore,
she is immortal. So you can't drown her. Nope, only God can stop her.

Okay, this Vertago guy is still effecting me. Strangers will look at me and cover their right eye, cars will shut
one headlight off. That's dangerous! I had an elderly woman pinch my butt an call me "Vertago." in the mall.
There was a Vertago concert. There is a Vertago song by U2. I started writing about Vertago in the 90's on an
Australian web site Private Games.com. That's when I was working at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart was awful.
I had an over night manager slap me in the face.
I just wish people would stop dropping pennies around me. I mentioned that Abraham Lincoln is looking to
the right, while all the other presidents are facing to the left, because he was assassinated. Now, I get penny's
dropped around me. I wish I had mentioned the dollar bill and the star of David over the eagel's head.
It has twelve stars in it for the twelve Apostles. Feel free to throw dollars at me.

Reflections: I wasn't completely honest about what I said about the penny. I was quoting the old Civil war
lore Lincoln was facing right because he freed the slaves and turned his back on the brotherhood. That's
what I wrote on Private Games.com. I'm not in favor of slavery.
October 15, 2014 at 10:37am
October 15, 2014 at 10:37am
#831225
I've had a pretty unusual life, but I want more.
Jesus was a large part of my childhood and adolescence .
My dad put a crucifix over my bed. Late at night I'd look up
from my pillow at the porcelain Jesus hanging over me.
I'd imagine Jesus jumping down and having a conversation
with me.

Jesus would say~ "You must stop abusing yourself in front of me."
I'd apologize .. and abuse myself. That's what mom and dad called it.
They actually expected a 9 year old boy to be celibate.
My sisters were humping everything, especially cucumbers.
I guess that is natural.

I think the big appeal of Rock&Roll is abusing yourself and others.
(Youtube: Sweet Dreams) It gets a little silly with Myle Syrus.
To each his own. I think most people just want a tickle.
Sex is entertainment.... Why not legalize prostitution?

I'm terrible with names. The girl on the Fox Five that gets the leg shot;
she's a thousand dollar baby doll. Who cares what she thinks?
I've noticed they don't have many men wearing shorts on Fox.
Maybe Greg could wear a kilt? Maybe not.

My dad lectured me on abusing myself. He said I would not enjoy sex
with my wife, because "my grip was tighter than her womb."
I was 11 or 13 and this peeked my curiosity . I had sex with Marcella
in my bed under my crucifix. Marcella was tight. I like how she made
opera noises. ... I think the important thing was not to get pregnant or a
STD. We always used a condom. Marcella stole them from her dad.

Marcella wanted to get married. I did not think we could.
Honestly, I selfishly abused Marcella. She was my fucking pillow.
Jesus watched it all. I imagined Jesus chastising me, but I was
having too much fun abusing Marcella.

Reflection: Is sex entertainment? It can be, but love is complicated.
A lot of girls got pregnant at my high school, most of them
had babies. They were all unwed mothers.




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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/muzzy43/day/10-15-2014