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Thoughts on life and society can be pointless, but that's what books are for. I've never enjoyed reading. It's always been difficult for me to read. Sometimes, I imagine little demons pulling at my eye lids. The Devil is in the details. I like people, who can act. They're fun to watch. I guess I wish I could be an actor, but I just don't have that charm and I stutter. My life is meaningless. I just lope from one place to another. I think that's my strength. Most people need a career and family. .. Family is a nice idea, but I've never had a nice family. Is this becoming annoying? ... Let's start with Vertago! He's cool and a stud. He also is popping up a lot in my movie watching. The mind can make association: like is the guy on the radio talking to me? Or why am I seeing so many eye balls in my movie watching? Jeeeze! I just saw CASE 39. A really scary movie with an eye ball scene that's very icky. This guy has a hornet come up out of his eye's lid.. tear duck. Any who, it's scary. Well, when I was Veratgo on Private Games.com my picture was of my left eye. It was trippy. Just a note to the CASE 39 writers: Lilith is not evil. I'm talking about Adam's first wife, expelled from Eden, because she "Would not be his beast of burden." Lilith is the first feminist in Bible Lore, she is immortal. So you can't drown her. Nope, only God can stop her. Okay, this Vertago guy is still effecting me. Strangers will look at me and cover their right eye, cars will shut one headlight off. That's dangerous! I had an elderly woman pinch my butt an call me "Vertago." in the mall. There was a Vertago concert. There is a Vertago song by U2. I started writing about Vertago in the 90's on an Australian web site Private Games.com. That's when I was working at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart was awful. I had an over night manager slap me in the face. I just wish people would stop dropping pennies around me. I mentioned that Abraham Lincoln is looking to the right, while all the other presidents are facing to the left, because he was assassinated. Now, I get penny's dropped around me. I wish I had mentioned the dollar bill and the star of David over the eagel's head. It has twelve stars in it for the twelve Apostles. Feel free to throw dollars at me. Reflections: I wasn't completely honest about what I said about the penny. I was quoting the old Civil war lore Lincoln was facing right because he freed the slaves and turned his back on the brotherhood. That's what I wrote on Private Games.com. I'm not in favor of slavery. |
| I think being rude is part of human nature. I try to avoid confrontations. but, rudeness is everywhere. It is very rude to mock the death of someone's mother. My mother had died on Halloween .. I went to pick up my subscription to Ghost at Ed's Comics a week later .. I had told Ed about my mom's passing. He said that his mother was dead too. I asked when did she die? He smirked, "I'm just fucking with you." I didn't get the gag and canceled my subscription. I never went back to that store. Ed apologized ... "Why would I be so rude?" My neighbor , Mr. Hughes, asked me if dad would sell the house. I said that dad had collapsed and was in the hospital. He remarked, "Well, then everything is up for grabs." I felt violent, but smiled, "Isn't it always?" I tried to avoid Mr. Hughes after this, but he kept questioning me. When dad's house was sold Mr. Hughes remarked, "Thank God." I suppose he wasn't fond of my family. At a Home Depot, Casie Bova said to me, "Your mother should have gone up the chimney." I asked him what he meant by that. He said he didn't know. I made a complaint. It was odd to me he would be so hateful. . .. Home Depot has zero tolerance for harassment. Nothing was done about my written complaint. I don't believe I am overly sensitive. It's just common courtesy to not insult someone's dead mother. Unless your trying to start a fight. Just my two cents, ~~~ <^> |
| Oh, that is the story of me. My many encounters with failure and humility have taught me that I usually lose...to you. I met a Derek London in the summer of 77. His parents were wealthy. His mom looked like Marry Tyler Moore. I wanted her....She sunbathed topless in their backyard. Their were a lot of bare breasted women in Cambridge, Mass. The reasoning went as such : men can go topless, why can't women? That's okay with me. Derek was a "color boy" as my mom would say. He is of Ethiopian heritage. Derek beat me at basketball and running and girls... But, not chess! Derek's mother would get very colored sunbathing. Normally, she was coco.. with wavy hair like Mary Tyler Moore. Derek had a closely trimmed afro. I noticed these things. I'm very visual. Derek had been born without ears. He had reconstructed ears from his butt.. I called him "Butt Head." He called me "Casper." Well, Derek was an atheist. His parents were "Humanists." They wanted Derek to decide what he thought was true. At the time I thought atheists were Devil worshipers. My dad had explained this to me~ "Atheist have no morals and follow Satan the ruler of this world." "Was Socrates a Satanist?" I queried. "No. He was a pagan." dad answered flatly. Dad was an English teacher and taught Latin. I was forced to attend Latin Mass. I'm not fluent in Latin. Did Jesus speak Arabmaic? Oy! I would have debates with Derek over the existence of God and Jesus. Derek had facts like, "What is real is not imaginary!" And I'd go on about cause and effect and ogal Derek's mom, who smelled like cookies. Derek would punch me. I think he won that debate.. I don't know what became of Derek. He wanted to be a surgeon .. Andy told me Derek was dead from a heart attack. But, Andy is not reliable. He likes to drink a lot. Well, did we learn something? Maybe, maybe not. =+= |
| I've had a pretty unusual life, but I want more. Jesus was a large part of my childhood and adolescence . My dad put a crucifix over my bed. Late at night I'd look up from my pillow at the porcelain Jesus hanging over me. I'd imagine Jesus jumping down and having a conversation with me. Jesus would say~ "You must stop abusing yourself in front of me." I'd apologize .. and abuse myself. That's what mom and dad called it. They actually expected a 9 year old boy to be celibate. My sisters were humping everything, especially cucumbers. I guess that is natural. I think the big appeal of Rock&Roll is abusing yourself and others. (Youtube: Sweet Dreams) It gets a little silly with Myle Syrus. To each his own. I think most people just want a tickle. Sex is entertainment.... Why not legalize prostitution? I'm terrible with names. The girl on the Fox Five that gets the leg shot; she's a thousand dollar baby doll. Who cares what she thinks? I've noticed they don't have many men wearing shorts on Fox. Maybe Greg could wear a kilt? Maybe not. My dad lectured me on abusing myself. He said I would not enjoy sex with my wife, because "my grip was tighter than her womb." I was 11 or 13 and this peeked my curiosity . I had sex with Marcella in my bed under my crucifix. Marcella was tight. I like how she made opera noises. ... I think the important thing was not to get pregnant or a STD. We always used a condom. Marcella stole them from her dad. Marcella wanted to get married. I did not think we could. Honestly, I selfishly abused Marcella. She was my fucking pillow. Jesus watched it all. I imagined Jesus chastising me, but I was having too much fun abusing Marcella. Reflection: Is sex entertainment? It can be, but love is complicated. A lot of girls got pregnant at my high school, most of them had babies. They were all unwed mothers. |
My mom died on Halloween. Creepy. Things like this are rarely taken lightly. What struck me odd about the holiday, is how easily people slip into witchcraft. And that is what Halloween is about. You dress like the dead to raise the dead.. Lawrence Krause is fond of saying that, "Most people are 99% atheist." We reject the old pagan gods, but still hold onto mono-theism like , Judeism , Islam and Christianity. But, that does not disprove the existence of the supernatural. Particle physics states that particles can be in two places at once and that these particles of energy blink in and out of existence from nothingness. That is supernatural. Nature has a beginning and a end. Life comes from life and dies. Nature abhors a vacuum. But, what if life were supernatural? Could the ancient pagan magic be real? I grew up in Cambridge, Massachusetts, every kind of new age Wiccan magic is practiced there. My mom warned me about Witchcraft, "You don't know what your dealing with." I've met good Witches and Satanist. The thing about Satanism is that it's angry. Good Witches want harmony with nature. Therein is the divergence. No offence intended, but why would you want to go to Hell? To each there own in the time allowed. I believe Jesus would not be taken seriously if he had begun preaching today. Most people are skeptical and cynical. He most certainly would not tolerate Halloween. Jesus taught, "That those who are not with me cannot enter Heaven." That is not multiculturism. This Halloween ask yourself do you believe in demons. And then consider what you would do if you encountered one. You could draw a magic circle around you. Or would you ask God or Jesus or Buddah to protect you? A Devil by definition is very angry. I make no bones about Halloween. . It is conjuring demons. Is that okay? Shalom, Muzzy |
A monument stands on the site of the airliner 93 crash. It is an obelix with a crescent moon and morning star. This is commonly known as the symbol for Islam .. The artist claims it is an ancient pagan symbol for peace. If that's true, then, what do these symbols have to do with the hijacking of airliner 93 on September 11th 2001? I believe there is a more subtle message here. The obelix is a masonic symbol joined with a Islamic crescent moon. Many cultic Egyptian symbols are used in masonic rituals. The Shriners use the crescent moon and morning star. It is a ritual connection to Kabbalahism; Hebrew and Egyptian magic. But, why would this be a monument for 9/11? |
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