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Created in response for the Paper Doll Gang Blog City. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. --Edgar Allan Poe-- Just a little place to keep the train of my thoughts as they come. Thoughts, feelings, people, anything goes, just a wide collection of whatevers. Sometimes the best thing to do with the thoughts that skitter across your mind is to write them down as they come. They may seem mad, biased or abstract - mundane, straightforward or reasonable - but they're all a part of you. All the thoughts you have are always relevant at the time they're processed, and sometimes it's nice to be able to reflect on them. We think and we dream, and we are. I will very, very likely want to throw down some story ideas and character views in here as well, since I love writing, and wish to improve. Welcome to my blog! |
| Originally in this blog there were several personal entries, but I deleted them and left fictional character vignettes on display instead. This addresses part of an ongoing problem I have, which is to be able to express and confront anything personal about myself. I'm not the best at talking about feelings, and prefer to keep a lid on things, or push them aside. I also convince myself that I can't tell anyone what has happened in the past and how it feels - because I wonder if they'd believe the whole thing or not. Self esteem issues, right? Yeah. Working on that. So much happens to us, both good and bad, it's almost impossible to keep a track on things. There's a lot of secrets we keep buried, and a lot of things we don't realise affects us, and influences our every action. Everyone's battling something in their corner of the world. I just thought maybe I should list some of mine, for the sake of getting things out. Since apparently talking about stuff is good therapy. So. Who am I? I'm a twenty-something working a normal job, with aspirations to go to University and to, you know, do something that's not just work eat and sleep. I have a small circle of friends who don't really overlap, but they are all amazing people, and I'm glad to have them. I've had friends who have turned out to not really be friends, and friends who start off as good friends but for one reason or another, drift away until you don't speak to each other because of leading different existences. Guess that's just part of, well, life. There's online friends as well, who I will most likely never meet, but I like to consider them as good people to know. It's interesting, the different types of friendships we can strike up, and how each of them contribute something in their own small ways. I'll probably end up talking about them sooner or later. BECAUSE THEY ARE SO AWESOME. I live in a sort of flat. The building is essentially a big old house with sections allocated to the tenants. I have my own bedroom, lounge, kitchen and bathroom, and the other tenants have the same things. One of my best friends lives in the top part of the house, and it's nice being able to invade each other's rooms clad in just pyjamas and talk random stuff. My friends are also great in dealing with the problems I can have, as I was born hearing impaired, and wear hearing aids. Generally, all I need is eye contact, as I prefer to lip read what people say, and it's fine. I always get comments about how surprised people are to hear me talk, since I don't sound deaf. Which is nice, but also annoying, but also expected. So I've learned to smile and take it as a compliment when I hear it. The impairment's an inconvenience, more on self esteem than anything, and it can be annoying when you meet people ignorant of the condition, and who then treat you as an invalid, or someone inferior. But again, you learn to cope with it. Out of the family members that are alive, I have three half-brothers, two half-sisters, four nephews, two nieces, three uncles, three aunts, three cousins, and a bunch of other relations who I have never spoken to, so I won't include them. I don't really speak to the uncles, aunts or cousins anymore, but used to know and associate a lot with them when I was younger. I don't even know if one of the uncles is still alive. He used to send me letters. I used to keep them, but in all the chaos of the past few years, I've lost them. Out of the family members who I used to know and have lost, there's the grandparents on my mother's side of the family when I was young. Since my dad and his brothers hailed from an Scottish orphanage, I never knew grandparents his side. I lost an uncle, an aunt, my father, my mother. Not the greatest of growing up experiences, but I'm still here. Still breathing. Perhaps one day I can talk about them. But for now, that's a good enough summary of things so far. Funny thing is, I do actually feel a little better after typing this out. Squee P.S: Real name is Melissa, but people call me Poppy. Why? I was nicknamed "Poppet" as a baby, which gradually changed to Poppy. Since one of the nieces is called Melissa, and a sister's called Mel, it turned out easier for all of us to address me as Poppy. :) |
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