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 |  A running blog on a real newbies adventures with the WDC website |
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I became a newbie writer just starting to learn the tools of the trade. Silly me thinking, I could just jump right in, and start swimming, with what I remember of my six grade English. After all what use did a professional computer repair person need of grammar, to fill in blanks, dot “I’s”, or cross his “T’s” with. I was forced into early retirement. Because of Agent Orange encounters from Vietnam, and a bad hernia repair. You cannot learn anything being a mugwump. What is a mugwump you say? It is a person sitting on a fence; with their mug on one side of the fence, and their wump on the other side. One day I received this interesting email from the Newbie Academy Group. They recommend I engage in contest activities. I thought to myself why not! I went to the contest list and found the writer’s cramp contest. At the prompt: here's a new restaurant in town with an interesting theme. What's the theme, how is it expressed, and how's the food? I read this and get all excited. I started thinking of all the Chief Gordon Ramsey shows I had watch with my wife. Out of nowhere pops a memory of a silly menu I had in my funny joke collection. It was a road kill menu for Uncle Roberts fine cuisine dinning. I decided to use my hillbilly name. I and my wife had a moment in our newly married life, when we were teasing a neighbor friend. We started calling our redneck friend Deny-Bob. He called us JoVonna-Bob and Brett-Bob. I decided to call my contest entry “Brett-Bob’s Road Kill Express” to me the whole idea was a joke and after all what a great thing to write about. To me the trick was to keep it rated ‘E’ as this was a requirement of the contest. I had in my mind decided to keep it as a fake road kill diner they would serve real food as fake road kill using the out of season as the excuse to use their specialty dishes for them. When I wrote it as with all my writing I am becoming world famous for run-ons and miss spelling. Part of the problem is MSoffice I blame its terrible spell checker, and the horrible grammar checker, since it cannot even do second grade error correction. Like I told one of the Newbie Academy Ladies I’m a senior citizen writing as a first grader. And even a first grader has trouble reading my work let alone the poor teacher. Beside whom else can I blame? None of us want to point that finger at ourselves. We might get ashamed and do something about it. One of the funnier parts to my story is I didn’t read it had a thousand word limit. I just assumed that they wanted whatever you could produce in a short time. Just like Nanowrimo. It had a twenty four hour dead line. I figured you didn’t need to worry, if it was a rough draft, or a finished work. This was probably my misreading of the contest rules. I’m betting the judge expects to judge finished works by more experienced authors other than newbies. Basically I’m trying to say, I set myself up for failure. But the best part of the story, and funniest is the judge’s comment: “You met that goal with an interesting piece. However, since I'm a vegetarian, it was unhappily a bit unappetizing in both humor and description. Sigh.” I know I thrive on rejection. But my very first contest. When I am trying to fit in, and receive that comment. It was about the funniest thing to happen to me. Being a new writer I understand not everything I write is golden or is going to make me incredibly rich either. I did install the sense of shame. I went visiting my email and asked the kind judge for help with run-ons. She took pity on me and provided a link to myenglishteacher.net. She also recommended a class from WDC’s own recommended school. She also recommended asking for help in my groups forums. The truth is I really don’t see even the kindest writer here, having the time to teach me sixth grade again. Then I realized I don’t need the whole lessen. I just need to learn to recognize what I do in my writing, and fix that issue. As I write I can auto correct instead or totally relearning English. So I went to some of the forums in the Newbie Academy Group. Since I have no life anymore I sometimes expect the same of everyone else. But the sad truth is it’s the week end, and all the nice people are out being nice people. I am going to have to wait until Monday to get my help. My contest entry received eight reviews; of the eight, two actually showed me areas to improve it, and of course one judge’s review. I think the poor lady felt sorry for me and I got the newbie prize of 250 gp with the review or it won third place. I in my vanity like the third place idea; the truth is I’m just guessing. I hope I haven’t offended any one with this story. It is another attempt at a funny story. I don’t have any hard feelings with the judge she was honest, truthful, and even extremely helpful. Some points of interest; only one person didn’t find it funny, the judge. Only the judge and one retired teacher gave me a link. They both gave me really helpful reviews with writing style help. I am still holding on to three reviews of the eight. I still get a laugh every time I read the third email. I just love her closing line: This story is fun, and I still have a silly smirk on my face. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I'm building at "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise"  Great place to read.I'm docked at "Blog Harbor from The Talent Pond"
, a safe port for bloggers to connect. |
| BLOG CITY Let's talk~ How do you start conversations with strangers? What topics do you avoid? Is it easier with one gender or another? Starting conversations with males is easy since I'm a man I just ask how there favorite team is doing. But with battle of the sexes with women it is hard to start things off they always think you have a hidden agenda. Most time I cheat and let them start it that way I'm not offensive and since they pick the subject I feel safe to be myself on their chosen subject. The funny thing is most ladies will talk to anyone as long as your not getting personal or insulting. I find neutral subjects work best. Mostly complementing them on their clothing color can start an interesting conversation about color choices and style. What I pick up on is their mention of sons and daughters then I change subject to kids. Ladies love to brag about their children all day long. Which is the most safe subject to stay on. If they have no children then pets is also a safe subject most have a pet of some kind or love cats. A lot of times they have a favorite subject they like to talk about. I always let them lead and then talk about what ever it is they like to talk about. It works quite well and I can make friends this way. |
| BLOG CITY Prompt: They say you can't go home again. (After leaving a home you grew up in for years.) Do you agree with this statement? Well, first let's examine some other sayings: "Home is where the heart is," "Home is where you throw your hat." "Life happens!" "You begin dying on the day your born." Now your all wondering where am I going with all of this. Okay first, why can't you go home again? Well first reason is when you left it you were at a younger age. Now that your an adult your idea of home are different then they were when you were younger. second reason is your parents might have died, moved, or in rest homes so the same old place no longer exists. Also the conditions that made it home are gone. Now if you got married you have a new home with your spouse and your children. So the old home will never feel the same anymore. these are my reasons why all those says are very true. Home is where you make it now days and it is almost always never in the same place. for any length of time. What we normal call home was the love of our parents as we grew up before we left. To most people home is still with their parents no matter where they moved. But for those who has had both parents die. Our own families are now our home and no you cannot go back to the love of your parents. All you can do is feel it in your heart as you go on and try to do the job they did for you with your children. The Run-on King PDG Member ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| BLOG CITY Prompt: Ebola. Thoughts? It's a conspiracy man! You know in the bible it tells of these things storms, earth quakes, volcanoes, hurricanes, diseases. Well guess what here we are and of course if anyone says something like I'm doing now. I just another fanatic out to convert the world. Not really I could careless about the world they dug their own grave and now it's time to lie in it. The problem with them is they are to busy screaming and hollering to even find their grave sights. That is why we have Ebola here. Oh noes I'm infected I need to run as fast and as far as I can and infect everyone on the way. So I will not ever have a place to hide. You know fear is going to kill more people then the normal occurrence of these diseases. I have a simple solution go in quarantine the whole country allow nothing in and nothing out until the disease has run it's course then you will not have a spreading infection. The problem is my solution isn't humane it's very effecting though. I saw in the news that Obama is going to tighten up airplane rules. oh come on why are we even allowing commercial air planes in there to begin with? Same with boats and cars and trains. If you stop the quick movement you stop the quick spread of the disease. Since there is no real cure for it and it is a fast killer the only thing you can do is protect the ones not infected. It is sad to see our own stupidity at work. I never will understand how they let those infected men on planes in the first place. What amount of greed allowed that stupid mistake. when will people get it through their heads the more you allow with a deadly virus the more you kill. Notice how they played down it was only one man on this plane and only one man on the other plane. Well with a highly infectious disease like Ebola the whole passengers and crew of the plane had to be infected so now you have just lost two or three jets crew and luggage until they can be disinfected. That is what our news forgot to tell you. Besides it will be hard to disinfect something that has no cure. |
| BLOG CITY Prompt: What is your process for problem solving? You choose the context as best fits your life. Humm, weeeelllll, if you must know procrastination. I found that if some issue besides bills upsets me. If I do nothing it tends to solve itself all on its own. Now my poor wife because she thinks it has to be solved right this second. Always over reacts to these issues. Most of the time I don't bother to tell her right away because it is just a waste of time. And she will always over reacts until I tell her it solved itself and is taken care of. I know women deal with things emotionally but sometimes I think emotions get in the way of plain common sense in my wife's case. There are a lot of things that don't need your upset attention. Especially when they are trying to do exactly that, to illicit a response from you right now. The other thing they do is treat women like second class citizens. My wife may be a lot of things but second class isn't one of them. When I find these things going on that company really gets a piece of my mind, and I will never do business with them again! The other point is some problems don't have solutions, issues do. So I never have problems I have issues. You know, "always look on the positive side of life." Well if all you have is issues they all have solutions. Some may not be what you want but it still has a solution. |
| Prompt: If you could be anyone or anything this Halloween, who would you want to be and why? I would be Darth Vader on a Harly Davidson Hog. fully chopped with King and queen seats. I saw this on a "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" spoof. Darth Vader dove up behind the hero when he had the train crossing and moving mail box episode. Then pulled along side him and told him to quit blocking the road. I found it pretty funny. My idea would be to drive aroud really slow and give tired candy gathers a ride to the next house. |
| Prompt: There's no such thing as fair. Agree? Disagree? Tap out a few words about it. Wow! What is fair today? I used to believe that the the law was fair until I crossed paths with DCFS. Then I learned there is no fair in our system. I was brought up on charges for hickies on my children. They were claiming I abused them when my children were acting out because I made them clean their rooms. At that time and point. I really wanted to abuse their bottoms with a good hard leather strap. How ever Once I made the child's lawyer show me the pictures and I held out my hands and compared the Hickies to my fingers it was apparent that my fingers are not big and round and would leave different briuse patterns then those on the pictures. My lawyer was just sitting back doing nothing. He never even saw the pictures. I figured him and the other lawyer and judge thought I was guilty before I was even allowed in court. I fired my lawyer on the spot. I called for a mistrial and proposed a counter suit against the office who took those pictures and request a different judge on the grounds none of them were impartial. They dropped the suit but failed to note my counter suit or requests. Thus proving there is nothing fair in our judicial system. They still kept me in jail for the night even though my case was dismissed. If I had the money I would have pursued it and saw justice done.. Now about things being fair. I remember the big boxes of breakfast cereal we used to get for five times cheaper then the smaller boxes we get now days. It seems to me progress is less cereal for more money. Being a repair man I see a few things most people will not see. When you work for a major manufacture in a technical repair center all you are going to see is the bad ones. No one is going to all you up to tell you how nice the product is. One of the main issues we run into is batteries. They never last long enough or they will development memories and die twice as fast. The game with batteries is charging cycles the more you leave it plugged in to a charging source the more charging cycles you use up on the battery. Now the more life you use up not knowing this. in a perfect would to get max battery life you use it unplugged until it is dead. then you plug it into the charger. for one cycle. one charged up fully you unplug it and go again until dead. But the consumer is lazy and just leaves it plugged in all the time it is home. Thus building up those charging cycles and decreasing the battery life. If you battery dies after the first thirty to ninety days you will buy a new one they are not included in most warranties, Next you have a maintenance plan make sure it covers the battery. A lot don't, I know I had to tell people the sad truth believe me it's not fun. |
| Yea someone who refuses to have all the useless bells and whistles. Come on who needs ways to text faster so we text and crash. Why do we need surround sound stereo on a phone? You know the one I'm waiting for is 3D displays in our car dash so we spend more time watch it then the road ahead. Next most worthless gadget in phones are serious battery drain. The more bells and whistles the shorter the battery life. The next thing you know your a wall huger, hording the outlets. You see they do that on purpose because batteries are designed to have charging cycles. You get so many cycles before it no longer holds a charge. so if you spend all that time wall outlet hugging you will end up buying more and more batteries and of course they have no warranty either such is our new brand of capitalism. You get less for more money now days so sad to see this and then they have the Gaul to call it progress. I do get so tired of seeing my fellow man being ripped off by my fellow man all under the guise of progress and great advertising. You know it seems our TV shows are more commercials then TV show. I canceled Hulu because I am not paying to watch commercials! They get paid to show us those commercial why do I have to pay them for the privilege to watch those commercials. I really loved the "no commercial" movies. every five minutes you get ten commercials. It just got totally bad. I love Netflicks they deliver and so does Red Box. But Amazon and my browsers I have yet to be able to even watch the selection screen to even pick a movie. |
| Prompt: Who was your favorite first lady? Wow, what an interesting question. Actually my favorite one was Jackie O. President John F. Kennedy's wife. Not only was she beautiful but she went to war for her projects. She was loyal and a faithful wife. What more could any one ask of a great lady. No one has really impressed me since. |
| Prompt: Would you rather be on Gilligan's Island or Survivor? Gah, what a question. To be honest Gilligan's Island. It is a lot safer and less wild. Beside I would love the company that was on the island. They made their island a tropical paradise. You even had modern gadgets. All look at all the entertainment you would have. I don't know about survivor. I never watched it, but with any surreal TV show I know they made it more dangerous than it really was. After all no fear of danger no ratings. But for them to really film it it had to be pretty safe. The real problem is the way they pull unsuspected fights, gang ups or what ever they use to build tension in the scene, and liven up the show for viewers to keep coming back as well as eliminations. I'll stay with Gilligan's Island because it was a real Hollywood sound stage. |
| Prompt: When was the last time you dedicated a day to yourself? If you have, share the details and their effects on you at the end of the day. If you haven't, why not, and would you if given the chance? Ok, first off now days I get the majority of the day to myself. Why would that be you ask? Because I'm on disability and have medical issues dating back from Vietnam era. They won't kill me unless I do stupid things. like over eat salt or lay flat and so own. So I get the whole day to myself. My perfect vision of a selfish day is 24 hour online gaming with no crashes, no updates, and no interruptions. But I have decided to be come a writer, so I start my day writing, I have challenged myself to at least 2,500 words in one book chapter for the various books I'm working on. Next I get on WDC check out the Blog City in my favorites to see if the Welcoming committee has been updated or added to if nothing in favorites then I move on to the daily Blog City prompt if I like it. I blog like right now if not I ignore it. Then I check out SAJ and The Newbie Academy for anything new posted. If nothing then I move on to my latest project of backing up all my books onto WDC. My first book is already here and boy is it horrible. A real noobie writer wrote it. I'm editing it hard and heavy when the mood prompts me. Right now I'm adding my second book and I got a real surprise it actually reads better and has a good feel to it of the chapters I have added to the website. Since I started with the end and working my way to chapter one. I'm sure it will be full of noobie writing as well. The closer to chapter one I get the more I see the reverting. I started at 50 I am currently at 35. I hope to get a few more on today as well as a couple of reviews done for Blog City. Then I just spent time on and off the site. Lately I just sleep a lot I don't know why either I just type along and boing I'm snoring away and three or four hours later I wake up and continue on. I used to snooze for two hours at a time then work for a few then snooze for two before I got my Bi-pap machine. Now it's four hours and it just hits me no warning, weird. I'm sure it has to do with pain and meds I take. The people I have at home, three boys, and my wife. Two of boys hold full time jobs. Same as my wife. And the third boy goes to school. So from 4:30 am to 5:00 pm I pretty much have this empty house to myself. For writing and programing it's a perfect setup. For social interaction I get to play with the three cats as my companions. I keep promising myself to write a story about them called "The Adventures of Story the Gray and Ninja the White." With "The Sub-Adventures of Trouble the Kitten." I still am in research mode on cats and cat behavior. I know I have progressives as far as my right knee and my left shoulder as well as a burst Bersa in my left hip. and a bad hip. Those are slow so they still allow me to walk short distances from chair to bathroom and back. I am glued to an electric lift chair that is an easy chair. Love the way it doesn't lay flat like a bed. So for me my perfect day would be to have all my aches and pain gone the ability to lay down on a bed and actually sleep with my wife at night. To be able to walk, run, and jump again. That way I could wrestle with my boys. play football, or basket ball with them. Go fishing or hiking with them. All normal things a dad can do with his children instead of being stuck up here in a chair. That would be my selfish day. |
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