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 |  A running blog on a real newbies adventures with the WDC website |
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I became a newbie writer just starting to learn the tools of the trade. Silly me thinking, I could just jump right in, and start swimming, with what I remember of my six grade English. After all what use did a professional computer repair person need of grammar, to fill in blanks, dot “I’s”, or cross his “T’s” with. I was forced into early retirement. Because of Agent Orange encounters from Vietnam, and a bad hernia repair. You cannot learn anything being a mugwump. What is a mugwump you say? It is a person sitting on a fence; with their mug on one side of the fence, and their wump on the other side. One day I received this interesting email from the Newbie Academy Group. They recommend I engage in contest activities. I thought to myself why not! I went to the contest list and found the writer’s cramp contest. At the prompt: here's a new restaurant in town with an interesting theme. What's the theme, how is it expressed, and how's the food? I read this and get all excited. I started thinking of all the Chief Gordon Ramsey shows I had watch with my wife. Out of nowhere pops a memory of a silly menu I had in my funny joke collection. It was a road kill menu for Uncle Roberts fine cuisine dinning. I decided to use my hillbilly name. I and my wife had a moment in our newly married life, when we were teasing a neighbor friend. We started calling our redneck friend Deny-Bob. He called us JoVonna-Bob and Brett-Bob. I decided to call my contest entry “Brett-Bob’s Road Kill Express” to me the whole idea was a joke and after all what a great thing to write about. To me the trick was to keep it rated ‘E’ as this was a requirement of the contest. I had in my mind decided to keep it as a fake road kill diner they would serve real food as fake road kill using the out of season as the excuse to use their specialty dishes for them. When I wrote it as with all my writing I am becoming world famous for run-ons and miss spelling. Part of the problem is MSoffice I blame its terrible spell checker, and the horrible grammar checker, since it cannot even do second grade error correction. Like I told one of the Newbie Academy Ladies I’m a senior citizen writing as a first grader. And even a first grader has trouble reading my work let alone the poor teacher. Beside whom else can I blame? None of us want to point that finger at ourselves. We might get ashamed and do something about it. One of the funnier parts to my story is I didn’t read it had a thousand word limit. I just assumed that they wanted whatever you could produce in a short time. Just like Nanowrimo. It had a twenty four hour dead line. I figured you didn’t need to worry, if it was a rough draft, or a finished work. This was probably my misreading of the contest rules. I’m betting the judge expects to judge finished works by more experienced authors other than newbies. Basically I’m trying to say, I set myself up for failure. But the best part of the story, and funniest is the judge’s comment: “You met that goal with an interesting piece. However, since I'm a vegetarian, it was unhappily a bit unappetizing in both humor and description. Sigh.” I know I thrive on rejection. But my very first contest. When I am trying to fit in, and receive that comment. It was about the funniest thing to happen to me. Being a new writer I understand not everything I write is golden or is going to make me incredibly rich either. I did install the sense of shame. I went visiting my email and asked the kind judge for help with run-ons. She took pity on me and provided a link to myenglishteacher.net. She also recommended a class from WDC’s own recommended school. She also recommended asking for help in my groups forums. The truth is I really don’t see even the kindest writer here, having the time to teach me sixth grade again. Then I realized I don’t need the whole lessen. I just need to learn to recognize what I do in my writing, and fix that issue. As I write I can auto correct instead or totally relearning English. So I went to some of the forums in the Newbie Academy Group. Since I have no life anymore I sometimes expect the same of everyone else. But the sad truth is it’s the week end, and all the nice people are out being nice people. I am going to have to wait until Monday to get my help. My contest entry received eight reviews; of the eight, two actually showed me areas to improve it, and of course one judge’s review. I think the poor lady felt sorry for me and I got the newbie prize of 250 gp with the review or it won third place. I in my vanity like the third place idea; the truth is I’m just guessing. I hope I haven’t offended any one with this story. It is another attempt at a funny story. I don’t have any hard feelings with the judge she was honest, truthful, and even extremely helpful. Some points of interest; only one person didn’t find it funny, the judge. Only the judge and one retired teacher gave me a link. They both gave me really helpful reviews with writing style help. I am still holding on to three reviews of the eight. I still get a laugh every time I read the third email. I just love her closing line: This story is fun, and I still have a silly smirk on my face. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I'm building at "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise"  Great place to read.I'm docked at "Blog Harbor from The Talent Pond"
, a safe port for bloggers to connect. |
| I cannot believe I managed to get so much done yesterday. I wrote a 1300 word entry to a contest, I did 10 reviews. One was a private review so I couldn't count it because no one could see it. I worked on posting in my two classes. I updated SAJ boards I am handling 9 showers for SAJ. Next I started two contest designs. I finally got the inspiration on how to do some real fun with interactive stories and possible a madlib and a campfire. I need activities that are fun and don't cost anything for the months of July and August for a Gang I am a junior leader in. I started working on a heroes and villain contest I am going to host this month I will get it up today, I have a column to finish writing for next week it is due by Monday noon. I am a guest author and do my Newbie Corner in the Noticing Newbies WDC Newsletter. So far I have only been brave enough to ask one of the moderators if I can write in it. I answered 8 replies to my reviews and a few from the ones I did on Friday. I got all of my reviews for Blog City Welcoming Committee done before May 31. I updated my own contest. Todays To Do List I will now start judging it and send out the reviews before Friday June 6th I will get my article done to day I will finish the Heroes and Villains I will finish the PDG contest |
| PROMPT: A humorous list of rules or do's and don'ts for any topic that tickles your fancy. (excluding tickling and fancy things)[/c} Have you even been to family parties that involve drinking? Well I have mostly on my wife's side since most of my family is pushing up Daisies 1). Never drink what they offer you. You should know by now they loaded it with peppers and hot sauce. You should take it and save it for in the morning after. It is the best hangover cure known to man! 2). Never ever flirt with the wives but your own same to the woman. The reason is you might accidently join a wife swapping club not cool. Beside do you really want your brothers or fathers baggage? I have enough problems handling one woman why would I want more. I'll be the Women feel the same about us. 3). If you wife comes out of the bathroom with her dress stuck in her panty hose in the back. Rush her right back into the rest room and help her fix it. Be nice to her or you will regret it for a long time believe me! 4). Stay away from chugging contests. But encourage your relatives to get so drunk they pass out. Best way ever to get rid of the pests annoying you or your wife! 5). Keep the party noise down. No one likes to sleep it off in the drunk tank! Nor do they want DWI tickets waiting for them either. 6). Never drink enough to pass a breathalyzer test for being drunk. That way you can avoid a ticket and play designated decoy while the rest escape the police ambush and they focus on you. 7). Never be the life of a party. Who wants to be remember as the drunk with the green glowing lampshade on their head? With the red pull tie that switches off the green glow. 8). Use this time wisely to be with your wife and talk to her. What better way to keep drunk uncle Harry from getting you involved in a pyramid scheme helping him get rich while the family members get poorer. |
| Prompt: What does "Over the Rainbow" mean to you? What do you think you would find there? As my muse ponders what I really want to say. What first grabbed me was at the end of the rainbow is Lenny the Leprechaun's pot of gold. However if we take the meaning that Dorothy sang about it means the land on the other side of where the rainbow is showing up in the sky. Now in Vietnam we used to chase those rainbows never could catch one even going 250 miles per hour. We couldn't even pass one. The reason is it is an optical illusion just like Lenny's gold. To me if it was possible to go on the other side of a rainbow I want to find my lost youth, be able to undo my physical handicaps, and steal Lenny's pot of gold. After all why not? I would be rich and be able to really enjoy writing to the fullest. (As if I don't already now.) I hope Miss Bee will forgive me the use of her Leprechaun. I just couldn't resist using him as my example. I'll trade her an idea for the next raffle since I stole his pot of gold she could have a destitute Leprechaun raffle to refill poor Lenny's pot back up. |
| Prompt: What show from your childhood would you love to bring back?(/b} When I think back to my early childhood I would to see "My Favorite Martian" again. But more realistic I would love to see "Firefly" back instead. It was quite a show as well as the movie "Serenity" was a hit. I still think some big executive made a mistake and he has been spending all his time covering it up and not allowing the show to be produced again. |
| Prompt: How do you plan the perfect Saturday? Hum interesting thought that. My problem is what kind of Saturdays are there? Let me list them: 1). Birthday Saturday 2). Holiday Saturday 3). Part of a three day weekend. 4). Summer Saturday 5.) Fall Saturday 6). Winter Saturday 7). Spring Saturday 8). Funeral Saturday 9). School is out Saturday 10). A lazy Saturday 11). Normal workday Saturday Now that I got the different Saturdays off of my mind. My perfect Saturday is finding a nice tree-lined stream full of Brooke Trout. I love sitting in the shade drowning worms. Catching just enough fish to have a fresh fish fry in the evening. Having a cooler next to me with cold ones waiting me and my guests pleasure. Later after coming back to camp and helping to cook the fish. Having our friends and family enjoy the evening. Late that night making love with my wife under all the stars and the sounds of the stream and night creatures. Now that's one of my perfect Saturdays. Now that I'm a shut-in I plan my perfect Saturdays in front of a computer with dual screens. But I would use one anyway for planning. First you have to decide what you are going to be doing on the Saturday you want to plan. You have to make sure there is no conflicts with wife and family members going. Next from e-mail from everyone we decide where we are going. Once the area is picked out. We determine travel time. If it is close we can leave early in the morning. If it takes a few hours, then we get ready and leave when every one gets off work. We make a list of all items we need to take to make the meals. The equipment we need for sleeping, cooking, food storage, fishing, and packing. I always took three ice chests One for the food for meals and snacking. Next one for all the drinks. The last one was for fish and water storage. I found if you put a lot of alcohol and just enough pop for the kids the darn adults will drink up all the kids pop. So I always triple the pop and that solves that issue. Next you can never have enough ice. Now once you load the camp stove, silverware and garbage bags. You load in all your camp chairs and tents. Now you put in the Ice chests and cover them all with sleeping bags that way when the kids ride in the back of the camper they have a comfy ride. I also keep my worms in the third ice chest. With all the camping gear in the back and on the bottom. It is hard to get tangled up in a fishing pole and get a hook set in tender skin. Once you arrive you get you little ones set up so you can setup the tents make beds and if you need to put the little ones to bed. Next you finish setting up camp setting up tables if needed and getting the right coolers set up where they need to be now you can nap or sleep depending on your travel time. now the perfect Saturday can begin. |
| Your past makes you who you are today. Do you agree with this statement? Why or why not? Well at first I thought what if you met the real person who survived Vietnam you would be shuddering and shaking in your shoes and if given the chance you would run for your life. I wasn't a nice person then. But because I held top secrets the government didn't want to be told even to this day. They made me sane and gave me back a life. So yes your past does shape who you are. If they hadn't fixed me I wouldn't be who I am today. Believe me when I dream, I dream true about Vietnam. I am thankful for the government even though I got the shaft. It is all fine I don't need all those benefits I got what I needed most a sane mind that could support my family and help raise our children. |
| Prompt: Do bystanders have a responsibility to intervene when someone is in trouble? Why or Why not? That is and interesting question and it does show what our society has devolved to. I'm going to do a pro and con on it to show you the why and why not. PRO: (Why.) As a good Samaritan I cannot stand by with out helping in times of emergency. At time peoples lives maybe at steak. But i pick my actions with care. I am not a doctor. If medical aid has been summoned I'm not about to interfere. I would only intervene if the people were needing attention that would save a life. Like arterial bleeding and the people were just standing around letting the person bleed out. The other part of this coin is if I witnessed a crime and they were arresting the wrong person. I wouldn't stand for the innocent being punished for a crime they didn't do. Especially if I know for sure they didn't do it. CONS: (why not) Let's use this example A bank robbery. They come in unmasked tell everyone to drop to the floor most of us reply by falling to the floor the few who don't get machine gunned down. There is a man close to you shooting blood out of a leg wound you stay in place. If you just reach over and clamp the wound with your hand it could save his life and get you shot. Or they may leave you alone as long as you don't stand up or move too much. In the same robbery You burn into your mind all the pictures of these killers then the police arrest the cute bank teller and accuse her of the robbery and with shooting the murdered victims. You know even from your point of view she was just a victim the same as you. Yet some how she is charged with this. You reach over and clamp the bleeding man leg and hold it tightly stopping the bleeding and saving the mans life. In the process it cuts off the circulation to the leg thus causing it major damage. After the robbery the man sues you for the loss of his leg. And he wins on a technicality now you end up paying for saving his life. You come forward as an eye witness that the young lady had nothing to do with it and the police arrest you for obstructing justice while the real robbers are getting ready to rob another bank. Which they do but now the police hold you and the young lady in jail and your still be sued for saving the mans life. The other points are now days any one can sue you for helping them and win. This little point of greed makes it almost impossible to render help to dying people who really need it. The other point is sometimes being a nice guy will get you arrested and jailed because your messing with the police. For the most part they are supposed to be our friends and neighbors but the laws are a bit screwed up lately. People's greed have really screwed us over. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Prompt: What's missing from your car to make it the greatest ride you could ever dream of? Wow, humm, well I guess anti-gravity drive, force screen protection to prevent collisions. Computer guidance control so I can relax and enjoy the ride. Oh yes leg room and a power source that didn't require refueling. The car is designed to last longer then my lifetime. It doesn't use surface travel so no tires and no antifreeze. With the force shield you will not need new wipers. The computer can fly through any storm so you don't worry about weather or visibility any more. Also you don't worry about crashing or high jacking and you can fly anywhere you need to go in a few hours. Why doesn't this happen now? Because we are being systematically robbed by peoples greed. If you don't believe me take a look at gasoline prices. Do you really know how much of it the true price and how much is federal, state, county, city tax? For you not in U.S.A. do you know how much it really costs verses the country mark up again how many hands does it take to get it to you each is imposed a tax and being the nice people they are they pass it down to you in the form of hidden charges. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Prompt: What are your plans for the summer? My summer plans are writing, writing, WDC, and more writing. I hope to get my first book in final draft. Right now I'm getting it out of newbie draft lol. My goal is to be able to submit it to publishers by December. The only thing that might stop me would be my health. Since I'm not dying or have any life threatening progressives. I don't see that happening any time soon. I like how I get stalled on one chapter and a new book idea pops up all in the same series it's almost as it it's all timed. I just wish I could figure out the timing. |
| Prompt:What is the best thing you ever saw on a trip? There is an area out side Durango, Colorado. The call it the Little Swiss Alps. I looks as if your really there looking up at the real alps the heavy rock surfaces, the green moss on the bottom layers a rustic, small gauge, steam locomotive the actually runs through it one of the faces of the lower mountains body. with tunnels and follows the highway up through them. Here are some pictures from the internet to show you what I'm talking about. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Can you guess which one is the real Swiss Alps and the real rocky mountains viewed from a small town in Colorado. |
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