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| Word doodles. I wouldn't expect it to be cogent. |
| pretty sick of the entitled and those crazy bastards that want to shoot / blow-up everything they are afraid of. I'm sick of people that are so uber PC that we can't say "terrorist" because he is Muslim, even though he posted in support of ISIS. I just want to share the planet any more with terrorists be they Christians Muslims or Buddhists. Yes, there are the latter in Myanmar that terrorize ethnic Muslims. |
| Karen finally called and we talked for three hours. It was as if we had just seen each other last week. Even though our experiences in life are fairly different, both of us acted in very similar ways of self-protection. It was almost surreal. She sent me a text message with three photos :D Below is my skinny-mini rambo shot :D |
| I feel so angry this year. A SEAL from TFR is apparently in Boulder. An interview with him was on the news, with footage from Somalia and I thought I would explode. But even more than the usualy, Karen, whom I went to Basic Training with, hunted me down on Rally Point. Mind blown. We havent talked in 26 years. All the eager emails catching up on each other's lives. I was very fond of her. She and I were the misfits because we were older than the babies in basic with us. Very happy and excited to hear from her, yet it all comes up and out all the neatly packed away feelings. My nephew-in-law (kind of) is a total douche bag. He posted something like "wah wah wah stop filling my facebook up with whining about dead people." I wanted to get into my car, drive to Castle Rock, and beat the living shit out of him with my cane. What a waste of skin he is. |
| Harper Lee was a dangerous woman. She challenged the status quo by using the eyes of innocence of a child to examine the monster of racism, and the interior prisons we construct that locks the better part of ourselves away. When I was young and in high school, reading To Kill a Mockingbird it shook my world. YES YES is written all over that copy. My life at thirteen was in the marginalia. The first time I flew in a plane we had a layover in Detroit. The National Guard closed it. I stood in the giant windows and watched Detroit burn itself in rage. I watched the Watts Riot on TV, not understanding it. I knew a biracial couple moved into our working class neighborhood and their house was burned to the ground a couple months later. It baffled me as an Army brat where every possible race was married to each other. Not so in the neighborhood of my mother's childhood. I thought Lee was Scout. I think most of us did. I think other people will realize more when the very private life gets cracked open and examined under the microscope. There have been rumors since I was a kid. As an adult, I read the anniversary copy, the volume that celebrated the 50th year of the book's publication. And I realized then that Harper Lee was not Scout, she was Boo. It was a novel of an outsider looking at normal's perception of outsider, layers and layers of it, from heroic Atticus, to baffled Jem, to the hideous Ewells. Ah to be normal. That need was so compelling for Mayella Violet Ewell that she condemned an innocent man, one who dared to feel compassion for her, to his death. Just to be normal, just that one time. And Robert Ewell to use her attempted seduction as a chance to be normal, not a functioning illiterate steeped in ignorance and hate. And she tells us that just because we will fail doesn't free us from the obligation to try. That message is also found in the Talmud. "The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience." No it doesn't, Harper. Rest well. |
| So back from the gym. There is a hideous hurricane windstorm here, although it did climb to 69 degrees earlier. Lots of accidents and cars being flipped from the wind. I did the full circuit but someone changed the resistance on the bike to like 4. I burned 49 calories going 2 miles. I am so worn out. At COSTCO managed to find a screaming deal on a full brisket, like 3.99 a pound. I divided it into 3 and vacuum sealed it. Also found some talapia that is texmex flavored, giant pieces of fresh cod etc. All broken down and into sealer then chest freezer. |
| The agony of 3 weeks of dragging my old butt to a gym has paid off. Sue and I decided not to weigh ourselves except once a month at the gym's scale. As an out of shape pair of old farts its been humbling and some days I have been so sore I felt like I didn't want to get out of bed. Yesterday I happened to see myself in the mirror as I got dressed. (I never look in a mirror except to brush teeth or hair.) I noticed happy changes, toned legs and arms. Anyway, I lost 5.5 pounds. WAHOOOOOOO! Although I have 3' of snow in the yard it is going to snow again tonight. I don't care I lost 5 pounds. |
| Wrapping up the flu, its almost done. I am only left with feeling tired, taking lots of naps, and during said naps I get high fevers. Joined a gym last week with two of my friends. It's such an odd thing that right after we joined, K, one of the friends, comes over with giant bags of cheetos and fritos! I thought to myself, why bother spending fifty dollars a month if you plan on stuffing your face with junk food? I've been biting my tongue. She has gone through 3 occurrences of Ovarian cancer, and she is 17 years out from the first one. If she g ets the sniffles it must be cancer. If something aches its cancer. She had a cramp, went and got a CT scan and blood work and her whatever marker is up from 18 to 20.3 so she is freaking out, playing Camille. When she does it, and wants a triple layering on of Drama I lose all patience. I'm no good at comforting other people's irrational fears, or holding their hands while they swoon. I just want to smack the back of her head and say "Grow the fuck up." She's ratcheting it all up. Her sister, who is very stupid and more than a little crazy, insists she has breast cancer. She wants everyone to drop everything and rush down to Highlands Ranch and hod her hand. This is where my flaws come in. I just have no patience for this kind of shit. Its all I can do not to roll my eyes. Sandy and Kathy have this festival of Swooning, so very frail and weak. Neither one will take care of themselves. One is at least 150 pounds over weight and the other 100. They bitch about shitting health and nothing fits between handfuls of junk food. It just baffles me. Sue and I joined the gym Friday night and we're going every day (except Sundays). I've been doing the weight machines for upper body, recumbent stationary bike, elliptical, and lots of rowing machines. We started with 30 mins. I feel really stiff and sore but its a good kind of stiff and sore. And I feel good about taking some action. We agreed to only weigh ourselves once a month.. not to obsess about it. I need to lose around 20 pounds and Sue said she needs to lose 50. I think it will take longer since we're both over 50, but it feels good to have some goals. Back to Kathy, I guess I was just disgusted at such obvious attention whoring, both the "cancer" marker and the gross self-sabotage of buying giant family-sized Fritos and Cheetos the day after you join a gym. Wouldn't it be more fun to skip the gym and just eat yourself into a heart attack or stroke? I don't know if I am being blunt or if she is being obvious, but I am certainly irritated over it all. I find her hard to deal with sometimes. I just want to bang my head against a wall. |
| All packed up, with a trip to the store done, snacks, tea and all ready for the drive tomorrow. It is going to get interesting. We're supposed to get 10" of snow. Right now two lows are stalled, so we're getting sugar snow in an upslope storm, which never happens. I'll be in Custer SD for the weekend at a spinning retreat. Although I am looking forward to being there and seeing some old friends, I am not looking forward to the drive either way. |
| I have been obsessively watching Love Actually, since I saw the live tweeting about it (ie the writer's/director's wife explains where all the unfinished story threads end.) I don't read Harry Potter and I was forced against my will to watch one of them at the movie, which was a baffling experience. I came away from it saying "WTF is a muggle?" I kept looking at Harry. Where did I know him? Where? When Susan walked by and said "SNAPE!" I responded that he is a cheating bastard in the movie. She said "Snape is always Snape." |
| I got a wonderful surprise in the mail today, a padded pouch from Writing.Com :) Inside was a holiday card from the SM and SMs, with a pin. I was so pleased and surprised. I was frankly amazed that they managed to do this with all the madness that Phoebe's illness has wrecked. I am going to attach the pin, proudly, to my little sketchbook bag, which I take everywhere. Thank you SM and SMs, that was lovely and so kind. Tonight it is supposed to plummet to the single digits, and 3-9" of snow and 40-60 mph winds tonight and most of tomorrow. The month is almost halways done and we've only had (average across the state,) 1.8" of snow when the norm is at least 8" of snow. I haven't been online much as I have been working ok some drawings as gifts. a 20 x 30 grizzly cub in the crevice of lichen spotted boulders, a silverpoint of a great horned owl, and a Dorset sheep, also in silver. |
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