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The forces of Good and Evil battle to determine the fate of Erda |
| [Introduction] ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** FIERO the Fire Dragon ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** TOLSTOY the turtle This story takes place far far in Erda's past, at the dawn of creation. This campfire has a set of rules which might look complicated at first, but you will find that they are simpler than many children's games.  1. The forces of evil are commanded by Fiero the Fire Dragon. She practices red magic. 2. The forces of good are commanded by Tolstoy the Turtle. He practices green magic. 3. Each commander creates new creatures. Each commander can only have a maximum of four creatures alive at any moment. To create a new creature, one of the old ones must die. Each commander can create a total of ten creatures. 4. Fiero creates creatures possessing red magic, which includes demons, devils, dinosaurs, and any animal which has become extinct on the real earth, like the dodo. 5. Tolstoy creates creatures possessing green magic, which includes any of the species currently alive on the real earth. 6. Each creature can have only ONE magic power. A power can be any attacking effect like fireballs, electricity, punching, poison, etc. 7. A creature can use its magic power against another creature only once. That does not mean it can only use its power four times, because creatures will die and be replaced by new creatures. 8. If a creature is attacked once, it becomes tired. If a creature is attacked two or three times, it becomes sick. When a creature is attacked for the fourth time, it dies. (Being attacked by four creatures at once will kill a creature. Being attacked by three creatures will make a creature so sick that one more attack on it will kill it.) 9. Fiero and Tolstoy are immune to the magic powers of their creatures, both red and green. Both commanders will be alive when the battle is over. The winner is the commander who ends up with the healthiest creatures. 10. Only ONE new creature can be created in your addition. But any number can die as long as the rules are followed correctly. Don't forget to give the creature a name, a species, and a power. 11. NO DUPLICATES of anything - names, species, or powers. Only one of each can appear in the entire story. 12. There is a MAXIMUM of FOUR ATTACKS that you can write in one addition and they must be balanced between red and green. Those are the rules. If you feel they need to be modified or added to, speak up. --------------------------------------------------------- ..............SCORECARD................. ---------------------------------------------------------- NAME .............. SPECIES ........... POWER ........... Attacks Received From ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  1. Estaban ........ elephant ......... water stream ... 3 - 2 - 11 - 12 ... DEAD! 2. Squeak ......... mouse ................ sneak kill .... 5 - 3 - 6 - 8 ... DEAD! 3. Destroyer ...... tyrannosaurus rex .... stomp kill .... 4 - 1 - 7 - 9 ... DEAD! 4. Appy ........... hippopotamus ......... acid spew ..... 6 - 3 - 11 - 10 .... DEAD! 5. Beezlebub ...... Goblin ......... twist off your head ... 1 - 4 - 2 - 9 ... DEAD! 6. Bruno .......... sabretooth tiger ..... Big Bite ...... 4 - 7 - 9 - 15 ... DEAD! 7. Jessica ........ rabbit ......... sex appeal ..... 3 - 10 - 12 - 11 ... DEAD! 8. Lenny .......... stegosaurus .......... tail whack ..... 2 - 1 - 9 - 4 ... DEAD! 9. Timmy ....... tapeworm ....... causes diarrhea ... 5 - 3 - 12 - 17 ... DEAD! 10. Trandora ...... trilobite ...... poison farts ..... 4 - 13 - 14 - 18 ... DEAD! 11. Gonad ....... Godzilla ...... flamethrower breath ... 4 - 9 - 14 - 15 ... DEAD! 12. Hurricane ... wooly mammoth .. hurricane breath ... 14 - 18 - 15 - 13 ... DEAD! 13. Oscar ......... ostrich ........... kick .... 16 - 12 - 10 - 20 ... DEAD! 14. Deep Blue ..... shark .......... swim stab .... 12 - 10 - 20 - 17 ... DEAD! 15. Belerion ...... tree fog ........ killing stare .... 16 - 18 - 12 - 17 ... DEAD! 16. Ptolemy ...... pterodactyl ..... painful puncture .... 15 - 19 - 18 - 14 ... DEAD!17. Glaucoma ...... glyptodon ...... crushing walkover ... 14 - 19 - 18 18. Fiona ......... squirrel ....... sugar shock ... 20 - 17 19. Vampira ....... vampire bat ..... drain blood ... 16 - 20 - 17 20. Triara ........ triceratops ..... charge ... 14 - 19 - 18 VICTORY for the Green creatures of Tolstoy! ... |
| Tolstoy the green magic commander sat in his cool cave high up the mountainside. Down in the valley below Fiero the red magic commander was bathing in a pool of lava. They glared at each other. "This stalemate cannot continue!" yelled Tolstoy. "I propose we have a proxy battle, four creatures each. I've even proposed some rules and carved them on this stone slab. Catch!" Tolstoy pushed the slab over the lip of the cave and it slid down the mountainside and landed next to Fiero's pool of lava. She read it. "I agree!" she yelled back. "And after creating ten creatures each, we shall see who wins the planet for all of eternity!" Tolstoy immediately set about creating his first green creature, an elephant named Estaban who could shoot a stream of water out his trunk so powerful it would weaken any red creature. "Yes, master?" said Estaban. "Please!" Tolstoy said. "Do not call me master. We are soldiers together. Call me Tolstoy, or Leader if you like." Create a creature for either Tolstoy or Fiero. Remember, we can only create ONE creature per addition, so it will take eight additions to create the first eight creatures, but the battle can begin as soon as both sides have at least one creature. |
| Tolstoy immediately began his second creature, he wanted a contrast to his first creature, instead of something big and loud he made something small and quiet Thus he made Squeak the Mouse who could sneak behind enemy lines |
| Tolstoy looked at his pachyderm water-cannon and his mouse. He looked at the blood-red t-rex romping through the valley below, roaring like the crack of doom as crushed the bones of past victims under its massive claws. "Oh -oh yeah?!" He called. "You think your dinosaurs are so tough? Well, check out my amazing..." With a crackle of magic, something began to form at the mouth of the cave. Something big. "...Hippopotamus! He can spew mouthfuls of acid!" And I shall call him, 'Appy'. Thought Tolstoy glumly. |
| Fiero laughed her crackly laugh. "A hippo! How bippo! Cheerio, you old pippo!" Fiero created a fire goblin named Beezlebub. He was so evil he would try to twist off your head if you looked at him funny. Wouldn't you know it? Squeak the Mouse looked at Beezlebub funny. "Haha! A goblin! How droll!" Beezlebub sent a blast of head twisting at Squeak. "Ouch!" said Squeak. "Mommy, my head hurts!" "You sonafabitch!" yelled Estaban the elephant and aimed a powerful stream of water at the Goblin who sizzled and steamed as the heat went out of him. (Note the SCORECARD in the header! It will keep track of who attacked who. Remember, receive four attacks and the creature dies. But the scorecard will only be updated on Steve's turn, so be sure to read the recent additions closely to know how many attacks a creature currently has on him.) |
| "Hey, you can't do that to Squeak!" Appy stuck his head out over an outcrop above the dino, threw back his head, and vomited green acid all over the unsuspecting dinosaur. "Blaaaagh!" |
| "That mouse is a nuisance!" Fiero said. She created a Sabretooth Tiger named Bruno with a Big Bite power. "Get that mouse and his friend!" Fiero told the Sabretooth. Bruno bit off one of Squeak's feet. "Oh mommy, mommy, mommy!" Squeak cried. Then Bruno bit off Appy's tail. "Why you... you... tail biter!" Appy blustered. She spewed acid all over Bruno. "Dammit, hippo! You ruined my best suit!" Bruno said. (Don't forget to check the SCORECARD.) |
| Tolstoy needed to create his fourth creature...But what could he create to equal the terror of the Red Dragon's Monsters? He had to think it up fast! "I make Jessica the Rabbit!" Tolstoy "With the power of...Sex appeal!" Out came a buxom rabbit with enormous Butt and Tits Everyone in the red army got massive erections that drained all the blood away from their brains |
| "Esteban!" Yelled Appy, dancing a jig as blood sprayed out of his rear. "For crying out loud- you haven't even been hit yet! Squeakie's doing all the work!" He danced all the way up to Beezlebub. "Here! Like this!" He wretched and threw up all over again. |
| (WRITERS! - Rule 7! No creature can attack another creature more than once.) "Where did Squeak go?" Appy said. Appy and Squeak were Best Friends Forever. Squeak was limping his way to behind enemy lines. He could barely pull himself along he was so weak. He got there just as Fiero was creating a Stegosaurus named Lenny who had a vicious Tail Whack. "Gotcha!" Squeak said as he attacked Lenny. The other reds came running over. Squeak managed to attack Beezlebub. Then Lenny tail whacked Squeak. "Argh!" Squeak said. "Tell mommy I love her!" And Squeak died. A cheer went up among the reds. Over in the green camp, Jessica said, "Oh! They killed that little mouse." Appy fell to his knees. "Nooooooo!" (Remember: Multiple attacks in an addition must be both red and green and no creature can attack another creature twice) |
| Jessica went up to Bruno and started giving him a lap dance "Oh!" Bruno moaned as her lap dance drained his life energy "I want to resist but it feels so good I can't pull away!" With Squeak dead, Tolstoy decided to create a less fragile creature so with his magic he created Timmy the Tapeworm, with the power to give other diarrhea |
| "You moron!" Estaban said. "Who is dumb enough to stomp on an elephant?" Estaban shot a stream of water at the Ty Rex that knocked him completely over. Estaban pointed at Lenny. "And your dino bunk buddy gets a blast of it too!" Another stream of water and the Steg joined the Ty Rex turned over and scrambling to get back up. Not easy for a dinosaur! Fiero was incensed. "You crazy elephant! You'll get yours. Just you wait and see." "Don't worry, mom," Lenny said. "I can defend myself." And he tail whacked Estaban, sending the elephant tumbling all the way across the field back into his own camp. "What happened to you?" asked Jessica as the elephant crashed into camp, but Estaban just groaned. |
| With the massive dinosaur only a few meters in front of him, Appy tried to throw up, but nothing came out! Oh, right. The hippo swung about and blasted Lenny with green slime instead. |
| Beezlebub the red Goblin laughed and laughed to see poor sweet young Jessica in pain. Beezlebub was a sadist from hell. In fact, that's what Timmy called him. "Beezlebub, you're nothing but a dirtbag sadist from Hell!" Timmy yelled. So Beezlebub tried to twist off Timmy's head. Timmy promptly gave Beezlebub diarrhea and killed him. "My creatures! My creatures!" moaned Fiero. "You green dogs! You shall suffer!" Fiero created a trilobite named Trandora who farted a poisonous gas. |
| Appy blinked at the sight of an undeniably sexy rabbit humping a t-rex's leg furiously- and then winced as the t-rex in question tried to crush one of his comrades. Lenny! That does it! Nobody messes with Lenny! Infuriated, Appy reared to his full height, and heaved and wretched and belched and coughed and hacked and sprayed a noxious wave of gastric juices all over Trandora and Bruno! Aha! I-oooogh. I don't feel so good.... He slumped against a boulder, drool sizzling down the rock face. |
| Fiero created a Godzilla named Gonad who had a flamethrower breath. He immediately burned Appy and Estaban. "Hear that fat sizzle!" laughed Fiero. Timmy popped back into shape after being stomped by Destroyer. "Check your hiney!" Timmy yelled at the massive dinosaur. "Oh no!" moaned Destroyer as the gushing began. "Ew!" said Jessica. "What a way to die!" |
| Fiero then created a Woolly Mammoth. "Blow them away, Hurricane!" The mammoth blew a large gust of air out of its trunk, sending Estaban into the air. |
| (Well, I thought I was dead, but it wasn't listed... So, here I go!) Appy waggled his badly burned behind -and then promptly threw up all over Gonad! |
| Trandora farted on Appy and Jessica. Appy fell over muttering, "And NOW I'm dead...." Tolstoy worked a ball of clay into a very convincing looking Ostrich. "I shall call you Oscar and give you such a kick! A mighty kick!" Meanwhile, Timmy gave Bruno diarrhea. |
| Needing another creature for battle, Tolstoy created Deep Blue the Shark with the ability to swim right through other creatures |
| Tolstoy frowned at the steadily rising pile of Green corpses. With a wave, he swirled up a barking tree frog, possessing massive eyes and capable of guilt-tripping all and sundry by staring at them! "Go forth, Belerion! Smite them with your gaze!" Tolstoy roared, punching one fist in the air. The frog ribbited apathetically and hopped forward, drawing level with Deep Blue's snout. |
| Gonad finished off Jessica with a flame. Fiero laughed. "Haha, little bunny! I guess you really ARE 'hot' now, eh? Hahahaha!" Timmy gacve Gonad diarrhea. |
| "I will dominate the skies!" screamed Fiero and she created Ptolemy the Pterodactyl with the power of a Painful Puncture. Ptolemy flew across the valley and punctured Oscar who was running for his life. Ptolemy flew by a tree and punctured Belerion who was hoping he would not be seen, but after he was seen he stared hard at Ptolemy and Ptolemy felt his heart skip a beat. |
| Nursing the massive gaping puncture wound where his bowels used to be, Belerion dragged himself up to Gonad. With less than a three-millionth of the mass of his opponent, all the frog could do was stare as he bled out. To make up for the discrepancy, Bel made certain to stare exceedingly hard. After a few moments, the sky-scraper sized monster seemed to notice, and crushed a small mountain as he turned away, embarrassed. |
| Fiero cried tears of fire. "Oh, Gonad, my Gonad! Dead so young!" Then she created a Glyptodon named Glaucoma who had a Crushing Walkover. The first thing Glaucoma did was to stomp the life out of Timmy. |
| Desperate for something new, Tolstoy created Fiona the Squirrel, whose power was making sweets so delicious that eating them caused painful heart attacks |
| And as for poor, stupid Belerion... ...He took one look at Fiona's goods and dove straight on them, completely uncaring of his own heart-attacks as he shovelled down sweets. |
| Trandora poison farted Oscar and Deep Blue. Deep Blue and Oscar immediate stabbed and kicked Trandora. |
| Deep Blue swim stabbed Glaucoma while Fiona used her Sugar Surprise Trandora. Tolstoy knew he had to make his last creature count, so for his last creature he made Vampire the Vampire Bat with the power to drain blood |
| Fiero chuckled "Triara the Triceratops!" The triceratops appeared. "Charge that ostrich!" Triara charged Oscar, stabbing the flightless bird, killing it. |
| And the endlessly imaginative Vampire daringly struck from behind, biting deep into the back of Trandora's neck! |
| Vampira and Ptolemy had a fierce battle in the air. The pterodactyl punctured the bat, but the bat managed to drain some pterodactyl blood. |
| The Bat drained some blood from Glaucoma, Fiona threw another Sugar Pie at Ptolemy, to give him a deliciousness induced heart heat attack, and Deep Blue attacked the Triceratops |
| Prompting Fiona to immediately force-feed Glaucoma a mountain of delicious hot fudge-cake! The squirrel held the elephantine killing machine still with one paw hanging onto his lip, before she climbed inside his mouth and began shovelling in chocolaty goodness like a train operator shovelling coal into an engine! |
| Triara and Glaucoma attacked Vampira until her wings were tattered and she was shaking like a leaf... but she still had enough strength to bite Triara and drain some blood. |
| Fiona then used her Ultimate Dessert, her Caramel Apple Bundt Cake on Tricera to give his a super painful heart attack |
| Deep Blue killed Ptolemy. Glaucoma killed Deep Blue and then walked over Fiona... but it wasn't enough. Fiona had been attacked one less time than anyone else.... and so... VICTORY for the green forces of good! "Henceforth, Earda will be ruled by the good!" proclaimed Tolstoy. "I banish the red forces of evil from Erda forever!" Immediately, Fiero vanished and all her red creatures became extinct, From that day forward there were no more dragons or goblins or sabre tooth tigers or glyptodons or triceratops or godzillas or trilobites or wooly mammoths on Erda and peace and happiness filled the air. |
| "That's just what I want them to think," said Fiero, as she looked at the Audience. "I'll be back." |
| Fiero took a deep breath. "I SHALL RETURN! ERDA, WILL BE MIIIIINNNNNEEEEEE..." She was sucked into a flaming portal, which promptly zipped itself into a nanoscopic point, flicking out with a flash of light. Beep! ...And that is why Erda is now forever only riven by war and violence, instead of war and violence and Godzilla! |
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