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Mysterious time traveler attempts to change history in this humanimal story |
| [Introduction] Time: American Civil War 1860-1865, alternate humanimal history version Cast: Animals, humanimals, and humans Plot: A group of modern humanimals has to go back in time to the 19th century American Civil War to prevent a mysterious time traveler from changing history to make the South win thus wiping out reality as we know it in the 21st century. Tips: Real historic names can be used if desired but should be changed into animal names if possible. For example, Robert E. Leech |
| Robert E. Leech was sitting in a big rocking chair on the porch of a plantation home sipping a mint julep and smoking a big cigar when his aide, Corporal Jeremy Cornpone, came rushing in, excitement written all over his face. "Who wrote excitement on your face, boy?" said Robert E. Leech. "That was my kid, sir. He got hold of my Magic Marker again." "Do they still call them Magic Markers?" "Well, actually, sir, it was a washable Crayola, so I'm in luck there." Robert E. Leech puffed out a big ball of blue smoke. "Then why in hell did you not wash off your face, corporal, before visiting me?" "Because this news is just too urgent, sir! I had to get it to you right away!" |
| Behind the Plantation's barn, the time machine fades into view. Voices inside say "Where are we this time?" The second voice says, "According to the display readout, Charlston South Carolina, August 20th. 1861." The 3rd. voice says "Great, smack into the American Civil War. How we get into these messes?" |
| "It's the job," one of them said. "We've got to locate this guy, and stop him before he messes things up. We don't need one of those Turtledove stories happening again. We already had a WW2 scenario where aliens invaded - those reptiles were not easy to deal with - we've had a previous American Civil War situation where the Confederacy still exists. We don't need one where time travelers mess things up." "Didn't that guy write a story about that though?" another asked. "Yes, he did," the first one said. "I wouldn't be surprised if the reason Harry Turtledove started writing those stories is because we handed him copies of our reports, or something." |
| (Author's Note: Do we each describe a character on the time traveling team we play? OK I'll go first.) Name: Roxy Buzz Species: Housefly Humanimal Gender: Female Job: Chief Fighter with Historical Weaponry (Was a former American Gladiator) Personality: Chipper, Cheerful, Borderline Hyperactive, Roxy sometimes is too eager to get into action "Let's not argue guys!" Buzzed Roxy "We got a job to do! We got bad guys to fight! We got wrongs to make right!" |
| "Then let's hear your news, corporal," said Robert E. Leech. "There's a wagon load of strangeness happening out behind the barn, sir!" said Corporal Cornpone. "Strangeness? How so?" "Come see for yourself, sir! It's hard to describe." Robert E. Leech stomped down off the porch and across the yard to the back of the barn where he was met with a wonderful sight. "What is it, corporal, some kind of fantastical chariot?" "I don't know, sir." The door of the "chariot" popped open and several odd figures tumbled out. One of them said, "Hi, y'all, I'm Roxy the Fly. Is this Charleston, South Carolina, August 20th, 1861?" "That it is, madame," said Robert E. Leech. "Oh good! The gauges were accurate for a change." |
| Name: Stanley Elkson Species: Elk Humanimal Gender: Male Job: Team leader with expertise on American History Personality: To the point, always like to keep his team in line so they won't alter history. "Not so fast missy!" said Stanley, "We need to think things through, we must not try to alter history." Robert E. Leech says "And who the blazes are you?" Stanley says "Name's Stanley the Elk, leader of this team. please tell us, have you seen another like us, a wolf that walks like me to be precise?" |
| Name: George Lobo Species: Grey Wolf Gender: Male Job: Military Liaison/Military Historian/US Marine Personality: Gruff, yet loyal. "The fella behind you," said Robert E. Leech. "Wrong wolf," George growled. The wolf got out of a chair, and walked over to the General, who looked at him. "We're looking for a rather unscrupulous person, who only values money, and doesn't care who he sells to." "What do you mean?" the General asked. George looked at Stanley. "Permission to show him who we are looking for, and what this person offers?" "Just be careful," the elk said. "There are some rules we have to follow." "Understood," said George. He looked at the General. "Come in, and you'll see." "The General looked around, as he entered. "Where are you from?" "Actually, the question is When are we from," said Gerorge. "And let's say we're from at least a hundred and fifty years in the future." "Then, you know who wins the War," said Robert. "We know who should win the war, but that isn't always the case," George said, as he sat down in a chair, got out a computer, and opened up a series of charts, showing the various possibilities. "Sometimes the North wins, and goes easy on the South afterwards, sometimes they just utterly destroy the South. The reverse is true as well. Sometimes Europe intervenes, either to attack the one side, or the other, sometimes both. Sometimes the USA and the CSA form an alliance to drive back Europe, and other times they become European Colonies once more. Sometimes there's an actual Peace, and both countries still exist. There's a lot of variables to factor in. We just try to make the right scenarios occur, even when they are ones we dislike." "So, who will win?" Robert asked. "Can't say," said George. "Can't tell you who should win, and we don't know who will win in the possible scenario that might come up." "I see," said Robert. "It's like a curse. You know the future, but you can't reveal it, for you might change what will happen." George nodded. "That's right, sir. All we can do is prevent the ripples that make the big changes. Too many of those, and the damage is hard to fix." "So, who do I have to watch for?" Robert asked. An image came on the screen, showing a fairly handsome wolf. "My half-brother," said George. "Louise Lobo. He sells to both sides in a conflict, selling them weapons that no-one should have, especially stuff that hasn't been invented. For instance, you have weapons that are muzzle-loading, which fire one shot at a time, 4 founds a minute. He'll sell weapons that fire up to thirty within 2 seconds - even in our Time, civilians are not allowed to own such weapons." More images showed up - AK-47s, M-16s, and more. "Beware of anyone selling weapons like this." |
| (Because the Civil War was about freeing the slaves-At least that's the watered down version-Are we to assume that in this civil war it Humans and Carnivores enslaving the Herbivores?) Robert looked at Stanley and Roxy "You got a funny team,letting PREY in." |
| "In the future," said George Lobo, "there are no distinctions between prey and predator. We all live together in peace and harmony." "What?!" said Robert E. Leech, then he looked thoughtful. "You realize you just told me the South does not win the war?" "No, I didn't," George said. "The South could win and still change its behavior, especially with you as the president." Robert E. Leech looked up quickly, then nodded. "You might have a point there. But forget the future, let's get down to brass tacks. What about now? You say your wolf brother is out there somewhere right now?" |
| George sighs and says "I'm afraid so. Knowing him, he could be selling weapons to your rival. Ulises S. Grunt." |
| "I don't know," said Robert E. Leech. "Me and Grunt went to the Academy together. A little unorthodox, but he knows the potential horrors of war. We've seen it together in the West, during the war with Mexico." "Perhaps a discrete message to your rival from us would help him out," said George. "Send a message to a Yankee General?" Robert asked. "Think of it this way, We might have relations on the side of the Union we don't want killed," said George. "The same can be said for the side of the Confederacy. Wrong people get killed, and we don't exist." "Are you talking about the Grandfather's Paradox?" Stanley asked. "A version of it at any rate," said George. |
| "Fine." Said Robert "The Elk and the Fly might want to keep their heads down...At this point in time, any Prey walking about in the open could be kidnapped and enslaved by those less scrupulous then I." |
| "Good advice," said George. "Did you hear that, Stanley and Roxy?" "I'm not prey!" Roxy said. "Sure, keep Stanley in the time ship, but I'm a fly. Nobody wants to eat me." "Suit yourself," George said. "But they might want to swat you." "I'm not afraid. Besides, I am the perfect one to carry your letter to General Grant. When he sees me he will know something strange is up." |
| "In that case, a Permission to Travel Note would be needed from Robert here," said George. "A Pass from a General is a good way to keep you out of trouble." |
| "I don't know," George said. "Even though he is my brother I never understood his motivations. Even when we were kids I couldn't figure out why he did the things he did. I've had theories about him, but none of them quite seem to fit." Robert E. Leech rubbed his chin. "Could it not be that your brother Louis is motivated by simple greed? That's what makes most weapons sellers do what they do." "That's a theory I had," George said, "but unfortunately Louis occasionally disproves it by selling at a loss." "Maybe it's a strategic loss, lose a little now to gain a lot later. I understand those tactics only too well, you know." |
| "Then again, as a certain actor from the future will say, 'Some people just want to see the world burn'," said George. "It's just possible that Louis just wants to cause a whole lot of death and destruction, for fun." "Such men get hung for that," said Robert. "There are rules that one is supposed to follow, even during war." "He doesn't care about them, unless it's to his benefit," said George. |
| As Roxy flew she saw female Humans and Humanimals wearing big hats covered in flowers drinking sweet tea |
| Must be some kind of picnic, Roxy thought. She found the headquarters of General Grunt without too much trouble. It was so surprising to have a female fly deliver a message that she was ushered right in to see him. He was sitting at his desk writing a letter. She waited until the old hog looked up and acknowledged her presence. "Well?" he said. "You bring a message?" She handed him Robert E. Leech's letter and said, "There is a wolf causing trouble in the neighborhood. He sells arms to both sides, but they are strange arms and will cause the destruction of many." |
| General Grunt says "A wolf causing trouble eh? Does this wolf have a name?" Roxy answered "Louise Lobo, have you seen him?" |
| "I can't rightly say I have, Miss," said Grunt. "Why should you care who he sells to?" "It's complicated," said Roxy. "However, neither side should have these weapons. As this letter indicates, some of my associates are busy talking to your counterpart in the Confederate forces, to convince him not to buy the weapons either." "Why should anyone care about that sort of thing?" Grunt asked. "Who cares what weapons a soldier uses?" Roxy looked at the general. "Have you heard of a weapon known as a Gatling gun?" "Heard of it, seen it, had it tested, and laughed at it," the pig chuckled. "Damn things require a field artillery carriage, require at least three men to maneuver it, and they tend to leave ten bullets in the targets. Useful to scare pigeons away." "But you know that each one of them can fire the same amount of rounds that ten men can fire with the standard rifle in less than half the time," said Roxy. "Ten men can fire 40 rounds altogether in a minute, a Gatling does 80 in a minute, and that's when it's being slow. Louis sells weapons that the individual soldier can use, each of them firing at least 600 rounds a minute. Imagine that, and the potential destruction." "I can, but I don't see why I shouldn't buy them," said Grunt. "Because he'd have a stranglehold on the weapons," said Roxy. "No one else has the capacity to make them in this time period - weapons wear down, parts need replaced, plus additional ammunition. He'd control it all." "What was that about 'this time period'?" Roxy took a digital watch, and placed it on the general's desk. "Me and my friends come from a hundred and fifty years in the future, as does the one we're after. We're trying to make sure that he doesn't change history." |
| "You claim to come from the future!" Grunt said. "And how did you accomplish that wondrous feat?" "We have a special type of ship able to sail the seas of time," Roxy said. "Is that digital watch not proof enough of what I say?" Grunt looked at the watch. "It's some type of clock, isn't it? We have lots of clocks, Miss Roxy. Although... I don't recall ever seeing one so small as this." "I have other ways to prove we are from the future. You see, if this Louis Lobo is allowed to have his own way, then that future will change, and we don't want that to happen." "But what's in it for me?" Grunt asked. "You are asking me not to buy powerful weapons. But those weapons might be the key to the North winning the war." "How about if I guarantee that the North will win without those weapons?" |
| "What proof do you have of this?" Grunt asked. "I'll show it to you," Roxy said, as she pulled out the latest in cellphones, one that could be used to take pictures at any rate. "Don't need to know Morse Code when you have this thing." She soon located the picture. "There we are. Picture of my one companion saluting the flag in his uniform - a uniform that clearly identifies him as a United States Marine, as of the 21st century of course, so that doesn't help much. However, what does help is the flag itself." She tapped on the flag, zooming the picture in on it. "Thirteen stripes symbolizing the original colonies, fifty stars representing the states." Grunt looked at Roxy. "Fifty?" "The Union gets restored," said Roxy. "Territories in the West are split into states, Virginia splits into two parts, Alaska is purchased from Russia in a few years, becomes a state in about ninety, along with an island chain called Hawaii. Currently, there's talks over whether or not to make Porto Rico the Fifty-First state." "Porto Rico?" Grunt asked. "An island south of Florida, which was acquired from the Spanish at the turn of the 20th century," said Roxy. "Had a war with them after a ship blew up. Funny thing about that ship - at the time, people thought that it had been attacked, recently, we've found evidence that suggests that it had been an accident due to a steam boiler not being properly cared for. Funny how simple things have dramatic consequences." |
| "Alright, Miss Roxy," said General Grunt. "I'll help you find this Louis Lobo fellow. You say he will most likely come to me and attempt to sell weapons to me?" "I'm sure that's what he will do," Roxy said. "Then I will be waiting for him." Roxy flew back to Charleston with the sense of a job well done, and who knew? Maybe Louis Lobo had already made himself known somewhere in the South and been captured? |
| As Roxy got back to Robert's office, she spotted Louise making his sales pitch to Robert with Stanley and George hiding behind the entrance door about to spring for the capture. |
| "I'll need to talk to my Quartermaster," said Robert. "He usually handles these sorts of things." |
| As Robert E. Leech walked out of his office, he whispered to Stanley and George, "He's all yours." The two time travelers leaped into the room and confronted Louise. George said, "Freeze, brother!" as he pointed a tiny weapon at the chest of his sibling. Louise was calm. "Ah, so now the do-gooders arrive to mess up my deals, eh? What's wrong with you guys? Can't you let the river of time flow freely without you interfering and trying to dam it up and divert the flow?" "Ha!" Stanley said. "It's you who interfere. You show a callous disregard for the fate of future humanity." |
| George says "We're not the ones selling futuristic weapons to both sides of the war. We're here to prevent that so don't say we're diverting the flow of time." |
| "Ah, but who's to say that I'm doing what I'm supposed to do?" Louise asked. "Perhaps my role in history is to do that which you're trying to prevent me from doing." "We have access to practically all historical documents," said George. "You're not in them." "Ah, but do you have all of them?" Louise grinned. "Things get lost, or altered, over the years, and I certainly wouldn't use my real name. For all you know, I may be the Real Father of this Great Nation, as it were." "Yeah, and I'm Benedict Arnold," George growled. "Funny you mentioned him," said Louise. "Turns out, we're related to him. Had a thing on the side with a servant woman." George scoffed at this. "So?" "Funny enough, we're related to a guy we know as J.W.B., and you know what he did you a certain A.L.," Louise said, with a chuckle. "Did a lot of tracking of our family tree - plenty of traitors and the like in there. Makes me wonder which of us is following in their footsteps; me for selling to both sides, or you for going after a member of your own family?" |
| Roxy had swiftly returned and she was behind Louise 'Oh Man!' Roxy thought to herself 'I always choke when we actually get around to catching the bad guy! Remember your American Gladiator training!' |
| This turned out to be a good thing when Louise made a sudden move for a weapon he had hidden in his shirt. Roxy grabbed him from behind and George leaped forward to disarm his brother. "You are such a snake. Would you have shot me to get away?" Louise rolled his eyes. "Little Georgie always worrying about what could have happened or what will happen. I live in the moment, brother! I don't know what I am going to do until I do it." |
| "Say that when they put you on ice!" George growled. "Temporal Ice! That's what you're going to get!" |
| Louise Lobo was locked into the jail cell on the time ship. The time travelers said their good-byes to Robert E. Leech and thanked him for his help. "Before you go," said Robert E. Leech. "Please tell me. Will the South win the war?" |
| Stanley just shook his head, "Sorry, if I told you now, it may alter history." The time machine's door closes and both the machine and it's passengers vanish into the abyss of time. |
| "Let's hope that the interference here has been contained," said George, as he watched the general's face vanish. |
| Louise Lobo said nothing. He just sat in his little cell and wondered what fate was waiting for him in the future. The End! |
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