Writing.Com General Discussion

That's why I sugested starting with Eddy in motion. Drop in tidbits.

Eddy stopped his truck in front of the mailbox, before pulling up his driveway.  His back complained from stretching out the window to grab what was inside, a day's work in the lumbermill would do that.  He brought the payload back inside.  Bills, junk, Christmas card from dad, the asshole couldn't be bothered to make the 3 hour drive from Grimsley to Pikeville, sent another card instead.



Eddy put the pickup back into gear and turned up his drive.  It was a small house, the best he could afford when he got Carol knocked up and he tried to do right by her.  He climbed out and began the walk back inside, hoping the baby was sleeping this time.

I'd also recommend changing the starting age of Carol, unless your goal is to make people hate Eddy. A 20 year old screwing a 16 year old is statutory rape and he just damaged that girl's future before she even got a chance to finish school. I want to see him buried in Carol's dad's swamp or doing time.

All that negative emotion, just from your casually dropped back-story details that you might have intended to be telling a different tale.