What's Last is First

Who: Grandma Penguin needs help
When: 01-12-21 @ 3:24am
What: His navel was also full of an incredible amount of lint.

Who: Dad
When: 01-12-21 @ 9:12pm
What: An incredible amount of lint spilled out of his pocket. And the odd thing was, although it came from the pockets of his blue jeans, it included red, green, gray, even pink fibers! "Hm. Maybe I should empty them more often," he said.

Who: Dad
When: 01-16-21 @ 8:23pm
What: He said, "Water water far and wide.". "Water water overall.". "Water water high and low.". "Water water omnipresent.". "Water water ubiquitous.". 'Water water universal.". He had no idea how close he came to immortality.

Who: Grandma Penguin needs help
When: 01-18-21 @ 3:28pm
What: Immortality had always seemed unreachable, until he met George, a handsome young vampire.

Who: Dad
When: 01-18-21 @ 8:42pm
What: "Young Vampires in Love" was the title of the rejected sequel to the 1982 comedy, "Young Doctors in Love" directed by Garry Marshall.

Who: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
When: 01-19-21 @ 6:54am
What: Marshall, the Dodgy brothers just rode into town The sherrif’s drunk and they’re looking for trouble. You gotta do something, and kissing Miss Kitty ain’t the answer.

Who: Grandma Penguin needs help
When: 01-19-21 @ 8:43pm
What: The answer is in fact, "42". Anyone who has read "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" would be well aware of this.

Who: Dad
When: 01-19-21 @ 10:12pm
What: This is a true story: Pastor's Husband a group of us during Fellowship Hour once and asked what we were discussing. I said, The meaning of life.". Without missing a beat, he said, "42.". I fell off my chair laughing.

Who: LeJenD' Looking Up
When: 01-20-21 @ 10:08am
What: Laughing at my own misfortune, I dusted myself off and continued on with my head held high.

Who: Dad
When: 01-20-21 @ 10:02pm
What: My head held high on a pike, my body lay splayed on the block, the executioner shoulder his axe. He said, "That oughta teach people to return the library books on time!

Who: Grandma Penguin needs help
When: 01-22-21 @ 2:33pm
What: "Time!" the coach shouted as she pressed the button on her stopwatch. "You guys suck!"

Who: Dad
When: 01-22-21 @ 10:32pm
What: "You guys suck all the fun out of this," Ted Bundy complained to the DA. "You make it sound like there is no fun to tracking down good-looking coeds, wining their trust, then raping and killing them. You act like it's an imposition on the coeds."

Who: Grandma Penguin needs help
When: 01-29-21 @ 10:25pm
What: Coeds became enraged when they heard what Ted said. How dare he try to justify his disgusting behavior!

Who: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
When: 01-30-21 @ 1:34am
What: Disgusting behaviour is not unknown to coeds, even if they claim to be virginal and thus untouched.

Who: Grandma Penguin needs help
When: 01-30-21 @ 2:20pm
What: Untouched by man, maybe, but we all know what they get up to when the lights go out.

Who: Dad
When: 01-30-21 @ 6:10pm
What: "When the lights go out," Misty of the Monumental Mammaries whispered to Gretchen of the Great Tush, "come back to my room. Freda the Frigid went home for the weekend.". Gretchen grinned lasciviously.

Who: Grandma Penguin needs help
When: 02-05-21 @ 7:41pm
What: Lasciviously, Gretchen winked back. I'll be there with bells on."

Who: Dad
When: 02-05-21 @ 9:49pm
What: "I'll be there with bells on," Gretchen purred, "and nothing else. Is Cami the Camera Girl going to post it on Pornhub again? I need some money!"

Who: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
When: 02-05-21 @ 10:37pm
What: “I need some money”, is a perpetually recurrent theme of my life. When will I actually achieve this objective?

Who: Grandma Penguin needs help
When: 02-06-21 @ 3:15am
What: This objective could possibly be achieved by creating a Pornhub account.

Who: Dad
When: 02-06-21 @ 9:53pm
What: A Pornhub account would be a dismal flop. A dismal flop would likely describe more than just the success of the Pornhub Dad channel. No, I would never consider it.

Who: Grandma Penguin needs help
When: 05-01-21 @ 9:56pm
What: I would never consider it either, unless I lost a lot of weight, at any rate.

Who: Dad
When: 05-02-21 @ 1:27pm
What: "Any rate of return would be better than what I'm getting from Mutual of Dad on my investments," Sam Hill the world's worst investor said. "All investment brokers lie. I figured my broker was lying when he said he didn't know anything about investments."

Who: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
When: 05-13-21 @ 1:48pm
What: Investments need to generate a fair rate of return. So, if you invest in the speed with which any given horse can gallop, in poker machines, or in Honest Harry’s Hoopla Horrors, which claim to return 50% per annum on modest payments.

Who: Dad
When: 05-26-21 @ 9:30pm
What: Payments must be for the total amount due. Payments for a different amount will be considered to be gifts, and not applied to the balance.

Who: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
When: 05-29-21 @ 9:31am
What: My balance is shot to ... the other place. Bilateral peripheral neuropathy does nothing for your balance let me tell you. And I haven’t smoked for over 50 years!

Who: Dad
When: 05-29-21 @ 10:04pm
What: "For over 50 years," the old timer said before congratulating BBG for his 50 years & boasting of his 25, "that dadblasted machine worked like a charm. Why'd the carnsarn thing have to go out now? They just don't make 'em like they usta!"

Who: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
When: 05-30-21 @ 4:16am
What: And they usta make movies that were worth watching, with real stars like Marilyn (sigh), Cary Grant, John Wayne, James Stewart - the list goes on. And when did we see a half way decent blockbuster like Gone With The Wind, or Cleopatra?

Who: Dad
When: 07-16-21 @ 9:36pm
What: Cleopatra is now considered a classic movie. But when it was first released, it was acta box office bomb!

Who: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
When: 10-16-21 @ 10:11am
What: A bomb! a bomb? Everybody evacuate the building, no panic, just get out, but don’t use the elevators (lifts).

Who: Dad
When: 10-16-21 @ 9:48pm
What: The elevators lifts people up dozens of floors. And, like Folgers coffee, they are good to the last drop.

Who: Lori M
When: 01-07-22 @ 2:29am
What: Drop a ball and watch your Dog run to catch it then take it outside

Who: Dad
When: 01-07-22 @ 9:19pm
What: "Take it outside if'n y’all's gonna act like that," Maw squawked at the twins, Jed and Jethro, as they squared off to fight for the third time that morning.

Who: Dad
When: 01-07-22 @ 9:19pm
What: "Take it outside if'n y’all's gonna act like that," Maw squawked at the twins, Jed and Jethro, as they squared off to fight for the third time that morning.

Who: Leo K.
When: 03-21-22 @ 3:11pm
What: Hey those twins are fighting...again...

Who: Dad
When: 03-30-22 @ 9:24pm
What: Again and again, I am left wondering if people bother reading the guidelines for this particular In & Out.

Who: ruwth
When: 04-10-22 @ 9:00pm
What: This particular In & Out has been around a long time. It has definitely has lasted longer than its creator. It has a life of its own...

Who: Dad
When: 04-12-22 @ 9:00pm
What: A life of it's own was all it wanted. Not too much to ask. Just a life of it's own. Alas, it was not to be. Six of Ten was simply a Borg assimilation that misfired.

Who: ruwth
When: 04-13-22 @ 9:17am
What: Misfired? Misfired? What sentence can be started with the word "misfired"?

Who: Dad
When: 04-13-22 @ 8:28pm
What: Misfired ballistic missiles can play hell on the weaponry, and the nearby environs.

Who: ruwth
When: 04-13-22 @ 10:14pm
What: Nearby environs for each of us as we navigate the pages of WdC have similar and dissimilar aspects. One constant for us all is some kind of internet access.

Who: Dad
When: 04-16-22 @ 8:56pm
What: Access to restricted areas is closely monitored. Absolutely no unauthorized personnel is allowed. Jasper Milquetoast monitors the boy's locker room, and Beulah Balbricker is in charge of maintaining this order in the girl's locker room.

Who: ruwth
When: 04-17-22 @ 8:54am
What: "Room at the Top" is the title of a song by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

Who: Dad
When: 05-01-22 @ 4:51pm
What: "Song by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Song by Paul McCartney and Wings. Song by Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders. Song by Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers". The o!d man sighed. At least we don't have Napoleon XIV's song to put up with."

Who: Grandma Penguin needs help
When: 07-05-22 @ 6:24pm
What: With everything going on, the old man didn't realize that he had become delusional.

Who: Dad
When: 07-05-22 @ 9:27pm
What: "He had become delusional," Napoleon XV said sadly. "We had to come and take him away. It was me and those nice young men in their clean white coats. Haha, we had to come and take him away."

Who: ruwth
When: 07-06-22 @ 3:38am
What: Away, ha ha hee hee, to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time.

Who: Dad
When: 07-06-22 @ 9:31pm
What: "Time!" called the umpire as he doubled over in obvious pain when the pitch struck him in the "special place.". "And that," said the coach as he rushed to the ump's aid, "is why you wear a cup."

Who: Ravenwand, Rising Star!
When: 07-14-22 @ 5:22pm
What: Cup it in your hand; if it is a nice, blackish-green color, is firm yet yielding, you have yourself a perfectly ripened avocado.

Who: Dad
When: 07-14-22 @ 9:56pm
What: "A perfectly ripened avocado," the TV cooking diva crowed, "will make a fabulously delightful guacamole! And we ALL know what guac is good for, don't we!". The sound engineer in the control room looked at the director. "Yeah. It's a great axel grease."

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