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 Review #3697076 |
 | HUNTER'S RUN  [13+] America invaded, a hunter & his dog on a mission behind enemy lines somewhere in Colorado.  |
| (4.0)| Hi . Please accept this as a peer to peer review. Reviews encourage us to excel. I found your story here: "Review Me List for WDC Power -ON HIATUS"  OVERALL IMPRESSION This is a great story! Lots of action, and it's easy to visualize what's happening. I'm always thrilled to find stories that engage my imagination and keep my attention. I liked the creativity, the thoughts behind the story. I forgot to read the brief description, so I was totally surprised as the plot unfolded. SHINING MOMENTS "I sat there with my mouth hanging open and gawking up at the massive height of that cliff-face, wondering how in the Lord's name I hadn't met him already. Great characterization and humorous dialog made this sentence a winner. Brunhilda was up to the task. I just wondered if I was. Another winner. His physical state is established, this sentence deepened his psychological side. The world rolled and spun – a kaleidoscope of snow, rocks, pine trees and pain. Most artistic! CHARACTERS/SETTING Setting: Filled with imagery  Characters: Strong and vibrant/sounds like a "redneck" or seasoned soldier. He's certainly a valiant one, and I winced when you detailed his injuries and pain. Outstanding. You asked if the customized dialog worked, and it sounds right to me. He drops his [g's] and that was not always consistent, but it may not be consistent for a real person.   CONSIDERATIONS Your story loses cohesion because you're using too many paragraph breaks. I would have liked a strong ending. Is the soldier working with anyone, and can he radio back? Maybe there's only static. A twist at the end will enliven the plot. PARTING THOUGHTS Thanks for opportunity to read your story. You may have noticed that I liked it.  Please remember, I'm offering one reader's opinion. My comments are yours to ignore or explore. Keep up the good work! ** Image ID #1843097 Unavailable **
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