OVERALL SENSE: I love this story, and I can relate so well with not getting any help from your beloved spouse. They just don’t understand women in general, we see things differently than they do. Now, if I saw this bushy tail intruder in my house, I would be screaming and running for cover, before remembering to call for help.

What is so baffling is how angry these creatures can look and act when they have intruded on your domain. Then, of course, my main concern would be how this creature got in, so it wouldn’t happen again.

We get bats that come un-expectantly, and surprise us when we get up at night. They’re flying around, swooping down at you as you are making your way to the bathroom. This only happens three, maybe four times during the summer and fall month. Where they got in is still a mystery, because we have checked. Until we find their entrance, we’re plagued with these creatures getting in. What I don’t like about this, too, is we never know when they are coming for these visits. They can get in the smallest of holes, so this makes it difficult to spot and end this madness.

         TITLE APPEAL: “A Bushy-Tail Intruder” is the name of this story.

         STYLE/VOICE: Comedy, horror/scary and animal is the style of this story.

The voice stays strong as the author writes about her own personal experience. It is written in a humorous way, and she made it into a mystery as to what this creature could be that’s invaded her presises.

         TONE/MOOD: The tone is hilarious and casual as the author explains her situation. She does it so straightforward in a mirthful way that it becomes a fun read.

The mood begins so peaceful and light-hearted as the author is resting, enjoying her holiday vacation. It picks up when a noise is heard and goes from peaceful to a downright nightmarish and scary situation.

         SCENE/SETTING: The scene and setting is at the authors house as she’s sitting back and enjoying her holiday by reading a book. She is interrupted by a noise that she figures is the wind at first, but finds out later what came in when checking her e-mails on her computer.

         CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: Each character is well defined and described… either through acts of violence, or acts of treating it as funny.

Personality: The intruder — sure had an attitude that had the author scared and feeling helpless on what to do about it.

The husband — When called, the author asked for his advice, all he did was laugh and told her to see what it really was. She went back to look and saw it up close and personal and screamed it into the phone, telling him, hoping for some help.

Motivation: The author wanted to get rid of the menace as soon as possible, because he was making a mess all the while destroying things in the process.

         PLOT: Well thought out as this little story unfolded into such panic that I could put myself in this author’s shoes. I would have been shaking in my boots too, because I know how much damage these critters could cause.

Structure: Every detail is lined up perfectly as the story builds from such peaceful beginnings to much chaos and fright.

Development: The story moves at a face pace, how it is told is done well, the descriptions are excellent as I could picture so clearly the author walking calmly from where she was to where her computer is situated, on the other side of the house, in a built-in ex-garage.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/SENTENCE STRUCTURE: I found one error that I would like to bring to your attention.

"I think it's a bear or at least a huge rabid racoon," — Raccoon is spelled with two c’s.

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT: NONE

         LIKES: I loved this story and the humor behind it is perfect. When I can laugh and relate, it makes me happy.

         DISLIKES: NONE

FAVORITE LINE(S): I did have some favorite lines that I would like to highlight. I'll explain why I like them and how they added to the story.

          QUOTE HERE: In my most unsuspecting manner I padded through my dwelling, unaware of the horror lurking, jumping, lying in wait for me, in the dark room at the opposite end of my house....

          My Comment: I love this description! I was picturing all kinds of things that could be lying in wait after I read this. I didn’t want you to go any further. Then in the next paragraph, when you had to step down into the computer room made for an ever more scary moments.

JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION: Good job! I love a good story that has real humor in it. Thank you for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece.



Take care now, keep on writing, I’ll keep on reading,
Jeannie Cheering for Martel



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .