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 Review #4085114 |
 A Review for you Hello, ANN Counselor, Lesbian & Happy I am reviewing "Invalid Item"  from your port, please know that this is only my opinion. You can accept or reject my review. It is given with the best of intentions. In the hope that we both benefit from it.  This is part of your winning package in the "Invalid Item"  Overall Thoughts Your story shows how the *secret* destroys lives, by protecting others. The grandchild protects the grandmother, which enables the abuser to keep on abusing. This is one of the taboo subjects that no-one really talks about. It is so difficult for victims to speak out,through fear, guilt shame and personal blame.However, is it simply because the adults never prepared children for this kind of depravity? I applaud you for writing what must have been a very difficult story, regardless of how long ago this happened. If not dealt with will have a long lasting negative effect on the child, which goes with them into adulthood.  Imagery & Emotion: This is an emotive subject, and throughout my reading of it, my heart broke for little Minnie. Even though she had dysfunctional parents, her grandparents and the farm gave her security and unconditional love that should be every child’s due. And the tragedy here is that this security was stolen from her in the cruelest way. The graphic imagery of the scene in the barn was sickening to read, however, necessary to hammer home this vicious crime which is perpetuated through silence. It is a story that leaves the reader stunned. Sadly, we are reading too much about the cover–ups of this cancer which has plagued society for generations, it is no respecter of persons or social status. I went in search of some statistics as to how much child abuse is reported and the stats on possible unreported abuse and the figures are staggering. It is not a good read in the sense of subject matter, but I understand that stories need to be told.  Suggestions:I understand that this is your way of telling your own personal experience through Minnie. And it seems unfair to offer suggestions, however, the story left me haunted. Even so, I feel what you have written is the bare bones of the story. There needs to be character interaction with dialogue. I would have liked to have seen more of their personalities. Some more back-story of Minnie’s life after the abuse and before she returned to the farm as a twenty-one year old. With the opening sentence I feel you could have had more impact. You used the word remembering in the first two sentences. Minnie sat quietly, remembering the ugliness of those kisses on her tiny lips and hidden places of her body fourteen years earlier. She sat in her car remembering what had happened. The second sentence is moot, because the first already tells the reader she is remembering. I don't know if I would have began the story telling the reader about the abuse in her childhood. I may have brought the car to an abrupt stop, then have Minnie see the farm loom up in the distance, show the fear of Minnie returning to the place of the worst experience any child could have, but I would expect a physical or emotional reaction to the thoughts. I would show an action, Minnie’s hands gripped the wheel so tight her knuckles whitened. Or, she barely made it out the car before she threw-up the contents of her stomach. You could add actions of the characters in every scene which would allow the reader into the story. Have the grandmother ask her what’s wrong? Give the reader a moment of will she find her voice and tell or keep the sordid secret for fear of her grandpa being shot. I would lengthen the scene in the barn--have her hands shake or the uncle makes a play for the gun, usually the abuser still feels they have power over the abused, so he could laugh at her, try and belittle her. It reads as a narrator's tale, which does in a sense keeps the reader on the outside looking in. Driving such a distance means stops for gas, food and restroom visits. Which in turn means security cameras along the way. Perhaps I would have her call the police or go into town and turn herself in. Or a plan before hand which makes sure she gets away with murder. What am I thinking is that she hasn’t really overcame her fear in a way that leaves the reader feeling satisfaction. Or, we can be left with the knowledge that this is one life completely ruined by that one act fourteen years previous. However,I would have liked Minnie to have become a survivor, and that justice is served on the abuser and that she learns to overcome her fear in a way that is right for her. This story makes her a murderer. I have this need for Minnie to triumph in this. I know it's fiction, but as stated in your remarks at the end, that you wrote this for parents to be made more aware of the attentions being paid to their children.  My Thoughts Through reading about this subject, abuse in the home is rarely reported to police and survivors rarely get justice. It is a secret history of horrific stories, of children abused by those they loved and trusted or targeted because their home circumstances made them vulnerable to manipulative outsiders. Abuse in the home is rarely reported to police and survivors rarely get justice and reading Minnie's story perhaps this is the only way for her to get justice to bring some kind of normality into her life by removing the fear. Educating children as to what is acceptable and what is not when dealing with adults, and not just strangers, is important and sad that we need to do this.Yet, this may save them from abuse. My parents never spoke to me about this. You said that as an adult you could never have told your grandmother as it would have broken her heart, although she shared with you that she thought he was abusing a child nearby. This was the opportunity to have told her, thus protecting the child of the neighbor. It is not a criticism, as I believe that the trauma of this assault is s deeply buried at times in the abused that when they are put on the spot staying silent is their own protection, but to the ones who do speak out a trigger moment usually occurs and it cannot stay contained any longer. I mourn for little MInnie and the millions of children who suffered abuse whether, sexual, physical, or emotional. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Write On!This review is from me to you Please take from it what you wish and disregard the rest.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 02/10/2015 @ 7:39pm EST