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 Review #4152174 |
| Hello Paul D  I am reviewing this item for "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Plot There is quite a lot to the story even though it is only short - first we have the idea of an alien invasion, then Albert's meeting of said creature before he returns to his home planet to help him win the war! However I could follow the plot all the way through and I don't think it was too complicated. The fact you have a lot of things going on held my attention  Characters There are only 2 characters in the story which I think is appropriate as too many characters in a flash fiction story can make it too complicated! I thought the dialogue between them was amusing if not very realistic!! But then this is a fantasy story so fair enough What I liked I liked your creative interpretation of the prompt. My favourite part was the bit about the piano playing by itself.... spooky! I thought the ending worked well. Suggestions The story seems to start on a serious note but then quickly turns to humour - I think it would read better with the humour injected from the beginning. Where you have written January 1st, I would write 2000 after it - it seems obvious but I had to think twice before I realised what you meant!  I think "mismash" is usually written "mishmash"? Love the creativity in your story! Good luck in the contest    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/04/2015 @ 8:51am EDT