This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " 

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

First Impressions:

I liked the way this started. The character and his situation are sufficiently intriguing although a little cliche. I've cycled through some pretty bad neighbourhoods so it did have that little extra appeal to me. Then we met the potbellied man with camel and for me it went right off the rails.

My Favorite Elements:

You created a character and gave him a problem to sort out right at the start. That is huge. A lot of aspiring writers can't seem to get that right. You did! Big thumbs up for that.

Suggestions:

Most readers are not going to stay with that kind of a jarring plot twist in the first chapter. I think the "making a deal with the devil" story line is very cliched and hard to pull off for any writer. To have any hope of making it work you'd have to tone it down and make it seem ordinary and plausible.

Overall:

You know how to start a story. Since this has no title, I'm hoping that you weren't sure where you wanted to go with this. Personally I would take it in a different direction. My intention is not to discourage you. You can write. Your grammar and all is probably better than mine is. So please don't take my criticism too harshly.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .