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This week: What Have You Learned This Year? Edited by: Kit of House Lannister  
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What have you learned this year? Every life event changes us, as a person and as a writer.
This week's Drama Newsletter, then, is all about change, and about how we are stronger than we think we are.
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Every year teaches us one or more lessons. Some years, these lessons are mild and gentle, other years, these lessons are harsh, and then there are the years that throw up a mixture of the pleasant and the horrific. Whichever form they take, they cause a change in us – we are not the same now as we were when we were children, and we won't be the same as we are now next year, or in ten years' time, or twenty.
All our experiences shape us. They alter the way we perceive the world, others, and ourselves. They give us insights into our strengths and weaknesses, our dreams and desires, and our general character. They reveal our resilience.
We're stronger than we think we are. As a child, the smallest problem, such as not getting a desired chocolate bar when at the shop with our parents, seems like a major drama worthy of a flood of tears. At that point we haven't yet learned that sometimes there are good reasons for our wishes to be denied. A teenager can feel mortified by quite normal actions from their parents, whilst when they're older, those same actions will seem endearing. The first day at one's first job is the most stressful. First loves are often intense, and first break-ups can feel like the end of the world. Yet, we move on. We battle the demons we face, we do things differently. We learn and overcome.
This year, I have faced events that I dreaded – the loss of three people who were dear to me. I never expected them to happen within the space of a few months. Had you asked me last year, or the year before, I would have said that there was no way I could have handled this, but I did, because I had to. Life doesn't stop – you don't get time off just because you're hurting. Things still need to be done, and the living need your love and attention.
The most painful times in our lives can trigger a writer's block, or they can produce a flood of new work. For me, it's a block, but I know that when the time comes, I can use what I have learned to add realism to my characters and my storylines. The more we learn, the more we know, the more we can use and the more our readers will be able to relate.
That is not to say that the oldest writers are necessarily the best, though several of my favourite writers have certainly improved over time. Experiences are not evenly distributed – there is no set schedule for what happens when. Young authors can offer unique insights, and shouldn't be dismissed because “they haven't lived yet”. We don't know their story unless they share it.
Even if one's life progresses in a standard fashion – or as standard as life can ever be – every person deals differently, and has their own approach to the obstacles they face. Twenty students, going on a survival camp for a week, would write twenty different essays afterwards. Though there would be similarities about what they did during that week, different feelings and viewpoints would emerge. The lessons offered may have been the same, but the lessons learned would be different.
We don't always stop to think about how we've grown throughout our lives, or during the last year. As writers, we can look back at our work (or lack thereof), and notice changes, not just in style and skill, but in content. We can spot trends, and progress. I can spot several crises and progress from these crises in my own writings.
All that we learn, then, is of value. The events that bring us joy as well as the events that traumatize us. They leave us stronger and, hopefully, wiser.
What have you learned this year?
kittiara |
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The Drama Newsletter Team welcomes any and all questions, suggestions, thoughts and feedback, so please don't hesitate to write in 
Elisa the Bunny Stik  - Have you heard of the hedgehog paradox? It basically states that in winter hedgehogs will cuddle for warmth but can't stay too close for too long due to all the pricking from their quills, and I think for most people that's how their approach to "painful" things works. That said, if I was a hedgehog, I'm the type that doesn't notice the pricking all that much. Oops.  I actually don't think it's all that much of a paradox. I simply think that we go for things we consider "painful" for the sake of variety. I love reading and writing really dark, tragic, and downright controversial works. However, for a few years surrounding my nuptials, I more strongly favored love stories, something that for me can be far more painful than gore and calculated violence. I was swept along by the changes in my life and sought out entertainment that was outside of my normal tastes. I've gone back to favoring things most people would consider painful. I'd like to see neuroscientists work with my brain on this. I'm sure if nothing else it'd make fairly painless entertainment for them. 
I hadn't heard of the hedgehog paradox! Very interesting, and true. I can also relate to your experiences. I seem to be good at writing dark and, at times, controversial works, yet there have been times, due to circumstances in my life, where I have been drawn to chick lit, which usually tends to make me bang my head against my desk and makes me feel like I am definitely not a normal woman. Also, I can write dark works, and I can read dark works, but I can't watch dark movies or TV series, nor do I like it when people tell me dark stories  . I'll join you in the queue for the neuroscientists.
~~~
Joto-Kai  - Santayana had it. In a nutshell, if you don't hear other people's stories, you'll be 'doomed to repeat it.' The wisdom that comes, a beneficial trauma to our characters, outweighs the discomfort that gave it birth. Something in our nature calls us to embrace those pains that are not destructive but beneficial.
In short, we are not behaving irrationally, but according to a deeper wisdom.
That is a great way to look at it, thanks!
~~~
Wishing you a week filled with inspiration,
The Drama Newsletter Team
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Drama: December 17, 2014 Issue [#6721]
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