%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
This one's for the nasty folk - You know who you are. |
|
If I wasn't a well mannered, polite, compassionate, classy, educated, and all round decent person... This is what I'd write.
Please! Be offended! This is my intention. If this is not your cup of tea, then try some of my other writings or just fuck off. |
| Here's One thing that I hate. It's those little fucking flying bugs that colonize your house plants. They fly around my head when I'm sitting in front of my laptop, or watching TV, cooking, or doing the dishes. I've always had house plants, as a teenager I had house plants in my bedroom. Not many, in fact, none of my peers did. I developed a love for house plants (botany) as a young boy, when I'd visit my grandparents, my grandmother and great grandmother had a vast array of house plants and I was (for some reason) fascinated with their beauty and the skills and knowledge it took to keep the plants healthy and flourishing. I've always had house plants, but I haven't always had these little fucking annoying bugs. I used to use a product that controlled these fucking pests, but you can't get this product anymore, because of a ban on dangerous pesticides, put in place because the fucking tree hugging lunatics complained about them to protect their precious health. Those fucking assholes worry about too much shit. They lobbied against the use of pesticides and herbicides until the government got sick of listening to their shit and gave into their demands. These banned products were never dangerous in the first place, maybe if you're a bug or a weed they are, but they they pose no harm to humans. I've been using these products for years in my home and in my yard, and in my now closed lawn-care company, Brother Nature's Lawn-care. Sure! I would love to use natural products to control pests like ants, or weeds like dandelions, (as the name of my business implies) but they don't work. Now we can't buy these products, and people are all throwing their hands up in the air and saying, "look at all the fucking dandelions in my yard, how am I going to get rid of the fucking dandelions." Another thing is mosquito control! Every spring, here on the Canadian prairie we get swarmed by these nasty little flying bastards that bite you mercilessly, and it hurts, you slap them, and THAT hurts, and they leave a small puncture wound on your skin, which itches and becomes infected, and that hurts. You can't even go outside in the evening. But these stupid cunts (can I say cunts? I know we can swear and shit, but cunt is kinda a bad one... oh well, I guess I set the bar) But these stupid cunts come out every year to protest the spraying of these evil creatures because they believe that the product, malathion, will harm their children and pets, and will make them ill if it gets on their tomatoes. Guess what dumb asses, wash your fucking tomatoes before you eat them. Malathion is only harmful to mosquitoes, which BTW transmit deadly diseases now. These ignorant fucking cows actually come out and try to block the city operated fogging trucks from spraying on their streets. The product is not harmful to anything but mosquitoes! Go back into your all natural shit hole of a house and eat your organic crap you stupid douche bags. If they could (One Time!) come out and show me a box of dead birds, or a sick baby, or a grossly disfigured child, one blind cat ...anything! that was harmed by the mosquito fogging I would join their cause, but they can't, because they are wrong. Back to these flying gnats in the house, which are driving me out of my fucking mind as I type. I want to spray the house with Raid, but my wife won't let me. She says you can't, it's my house too, and I don't want it sprayed with toxic chemicals. She's one of those tree hugging, save the planet, NIMBY, environmental puritans, that I mentioned earlier, except my wife is kind and intelligent and only acts out of concern for her environment, and well being - not like those other nut jobs! So at my wife's urging I am testing a natural method to rid our home of theses annoying pests. I set up four traps made of a solution of apple cider vinegar and a couple drops of dish detergent. So far, while I have been writing this entry I have killed at least a dozen of these fucking things and the traps are all empty. The house smells like a new age vegan salad bar, and I'm slowly losing my mind. The bugs keep dive bombing my head, it's as if they know my weapons of mass destruction have been taken from me, and they mock me. I should douse my hair with the vinegar and soap solution. Anything! I'm getting desperate here. Do you want to know another natural product that would kill these little flying fuckers... FIRE! Burn down the whole fucking house- That'll get rid of them. I'm actually getting light headed from the vinegar fumes, I better go! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada  |
 Log in to Leave Feedback |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
