The rhyme scheme is good, and there is much truth in what you say in this Ballade. Today kings are called Prime Ministers and Presidents. While the majority of them are arrogant and they care little about you and me, there will always be those who give their lives to make life better for their nation's. Good luck in the contest.
Although I am not a fan of Science Fiction and Horror, I enjoyed this. The story grabbed me from the beginning and held me captive to the very last word. There has to be more to come. Good grammar and punctuation made for an easy read.
I found one or two glitches. They don't interrupt the flow, but I thought I would mention them.
Statements like 'simple as that, and another loud boom, are unnnecessary sentence fragments. A sentence must have a subject and a verb.
Say: Another loud boom was followed by a coresponding bright light.
I hope this has helped you. Enjoy your day.
LJ
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/ljbwriter/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 7:44pm on May 03, 2024 via server web1.