Wow. this story really hit home for me. the boy in it, which i suppose is you?? He really reminds me of my ex boyfriend. We were in highschool together and driving was our one escape from everything in our lives. The one place where we could just be ourselves and be together. We too faded away for reasons that I still am not sure of. But we still talk. It has been almost three years since we spent those nights together and I still call him sometimes. I really enjoyed your story you portrayed exactly what it is like to be missing another time and someone who was in it. You are a wonderful writer and I am looking forward to reading more of your work!
This is a very short and sweet piece of writing. It reminds me of when I was young and my parents were watching me drive my barbie car around the front yard. I steered toward the drive way and my mother called to me "Where are you going sweetie?" I turned my head and said, "where else mama? To the corner store for beer and cigarettes!" (which is where we always went in the car for my grandmother)
It is moments like this in life that you just explained that make it so fun and worthwhile. I can tell you have a knack for writing. Keep it up. Personal stories are the best things to write about!
This is a very sweet story yet I must say a few things. My biggest issue with it is the age the kids were in this story. I, myself am only sixteen, and remember well the days of eighth grade.
I think you would've done better putting them in a higher grade level. Some of how they acted, for example the kissing in front of everyone, and what was said in conversation was a little mature for thirteen year olds.
There were also a few grammar corrections to be made. I'm not really good at listing, but I caught a few while reading through it, so you might want to check those out.
I haven't had a chance to post any new writings of mine, but I will try to soon. I was wondering if there was any chance I might be able to get aquainted a little more with you? I have this strange longing to know about the poeple who write what I read, just a fettish I suppose. Anyway, it's been nice chatting (if you even remember me)He-he.
wow, this story was truely amazing. I can relate exactly to the main character's point of view! You are an amzing writer, although I do have asoft spot for romance pieces. It seems that you are somewhat attached to this piece, maybe it's happened to you? You capture the feeling of love perfectly. Please keep and writing and you should read some of my short stroies too. They are alos of unrequited love. Great Job!
Victoria
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