This is such a touching poem. Well written and a great flow. It makes me feel good and peaceful. You extend to the reader feelings of warmth and each verse draws you to the next. I like that there is no fluff.
If this poem is about a personal relationship, then congratulations. Not too many people can express such passion after so many years of marriage. It is truely encouraging.
Thank you so much for posting this for us to share.
First let me say that you are a good writter. You choose your words carefully and it pays off. It looks like you have a good story. The reason as to why he was driving towards the "metal beast" is unclear to me. I wasn't sure what he was wanting to accomplish. I think that you have a setting in mind that would be very interesting, but I would have liked to read more about it.
Please know that I think the talent and story line is there. Maybe you could expound a little more. Now, if I have completely missed the point, feel free to drop me an email. I am so curious to know.
This is too perfect. I love it. Not only are you right on target, but it is well written. You seem very mature for 14.
I am going through The Writers' Workshop member's ports. I wanted to get to know some of the members little better. So thank you for letting me stop by.
My goodness, you packed a lot in those few paragraphs. This brought me to tears. I hope that this was not inspired by personal experience. I am sorry if it was. If it was just something that came to you, then I can’t wait to read more of your work. Those tragic love stories that hunt me are my favorite. I appreciate the strong emotion words are able to create.
Looks like you have an interesting story started. However, it is difficult to concentrate on the wonderful story line because there are many typos. Now, I am the queen of typos so I have learned how important it is to review your work and spelling before posting it on line or submitting it to an editor. So please don’t be offended by this, but I have some suggestions that have worked for me.
First you may consider breaking your story into paragraphs; it just makes it easier to read. Remember to note who is speaking, especially if there are more than two characters used in a conversation. Print your work out so that you can see it on paper. It looks different when you are reading it aloud and you find all of the typos and misspellings. You can highlight your findings and then make the necessary changes. If you are not sure about the spelling of a word, Dictionary.com is a good on line resource. I use it a lot. I never sit down to write without my dictionary and thesaurus.
Again these are only suggestions that I have found to work and were suggested to me by published authors. I know what it is like to become wrapped up in the story, you type fast but not fast enough to keep up with your train of thought. It is easy to forget the editing portion of writing.
Good going and don’t forget to set up your bioblock. Tell us something about yourself.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read your material.
I am a scfi/fantasy writer as well. However, I have note posted any of it on line yet. I am new to writing.com as well. Look forward to visiting your port.
I have read many help tips from you as a newbie. This is not only helpful, but sheds light on one of my main concerns. That concern being why my items have been viewed several time, but not rated. I didn’t realize that readers without memberships search and read our ports.
Thank you for all of the helpful information and the break down of stats.
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