Mmm I feel sad. I read this description about chocolate and I don't have any in the house right now :( LOL.
The descriptions were well done. I like the fact that the way you write it basically provokes the reader to use their imagination, as well as continue the "mystery", so to speak.
Not to mention it was about chocolate, so that's always a plus ;)
Sorry I haven't got back to you because my internet has been down for couple of weeks (grrr) and I finally got access to a computer (currently at my friends house right now).
This poem to me makes me feel something. The way you structured the poem is really great. I think the length is also perfect for this poem because after the reader ends it, they begin to understand why you feel this way. The descriptions to me make me realize what you are feeling. And to me reading teen anguish since I'm also 18, is something that helps me understand more, and can offer my own sympathy.
Good job And I hope it goes well for you in the end.
This short story got most definitly a good laugh from me. I think in a way you basically gave us the first date that every guy (or girl for that matter) fears of. Even now I'm still laughing about...
This was well written, and very clear. I didn't see any problems with the sentences and it was pretty smooth when I read it out loud.
This is one excellent piece. I am a fan of science-fiction and love it so much. As I continued to read this piece, I found that everything that you said was something that I agreed in. Science fiction to me is indeed similiar to fantasy on one sense, and yet it something that is totally different in another sense.
The only thing I disagreed with is when you said that Star Wars is not science fiction. True, Star Wars can be considered heroic fantasy in a way. But in my view, the books are somewhat different then the movies. And perhaps those can be more of science fiction instead of heroic fantasy.
This essay in essence is perfect in the way that you keep the reader interested.
This poll asks a very simple question that doesn't have a simple answer when you think about it deeply. I have read ProsperousSnow's piece and I find to find some things I can agree with, and a lot more things I disagree with.
However I will only comment on what I have picked in this poll. My answer is "None of this is relevant".
The reason why I picked this answer is because there is too many variables out there in our world, and that those answers of a Bad Day or a Good Day is way too simplistic.
Believe it or not, people do NOT have a choice in life. At least in some countries they don't. In fact, some people don't even get a chance to choose because they are dead already. The comment on whether a day is Great or Bad is again too simplistic. Great days in our head can be formed by many things such as our emotions, or our experiences. Our perspectives can be different to define what a Great day is. Yes, a Great day could be referred to something as in, "Everything is prosperous" or "There is no pain". However, is everything prosperous really good? And is the lack of any pain whatsoever just really an illusion since without pain, how can someone grow and understand? A line I always thought that was interesting was. No lesson can be learnt unless it's dealt with in pain.
So that's my very simple answer to why I picked this answer. I however, very much like this poll a lot, and I'm happy you got me thinking of a different idea.
Good job, and continue writing such excellent polls!
Hi. Thank you for submitting this peom to my poetry contest on self-esteem Round 3.
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Sorry I have been so late. My computer is extremely slow and I'm writing the reviews on my friends computer so that way I can read, judge, and come up with the winners.
I like how the poem ends off as a positive note. Of one human being recognizing oneself and therefore changing themself to become better. To become positive. That to me is one of the keys of overcoming your self-esteem although I admit it's hard for everyone in their own ways.
The part I found slightly weak is when you read out loud the poem, it's a bit hard to pronounce in a flow. Maybe if that is worked out, it'll be easier to read and therefore be more powerful?
This poem I felt has definite meaning. Every human has the ability to have feelings, and those feelings define what type of people we are. They can also turn around at any second and cause us to feel different moods. The talking of the thorns and what type of pain they inflict is a good example.
Perhaps elaborating more on the poem by adding more detail, and having a bit of feeling in the poem will cause the reader to be swayed more by it. Or make the poem a lot stronger.
Excellent choices that you have picked. Each one of those have something to teach us as humans. It's also good that you picked pieces that contain different perspectives. As humans, we should always strive to be more educated, be more open, and understand more of views that we encounter that seem different. That's what makes us so unique!
I'm happy that you recognize this and award writers with recognition and ribbons. Keep it up!
Your poem contains many ideas on what love is. Everyone has an unique idea on what is love and how to express it. This poem reflects your view pretty well. However, I do not think of this as poetry though because although it speaks very clearly and the meaning is clear, it lacks feeling or the true passion of a poem.
Maybe rewriting it in a different way can spark the readers heart when reading this piece
This poem made me pause for a minute to close my eyes and feel what this poem says. It also made me sigh in the end, because everyone of us goes through this with a person.
I like the questioning of this poem. It makes the reader question themself and therefore makes a certain connection to the poem. I know because I answered the questions myself in a way.
This piece to me can be related to not only myself but basically every human being in the world. In our days as teenagers, falling for someone that is a friend is extremely tough. I can personally relate to that.
It's a very dangerous thing, this game of love. And yet, we always survive in the end. Your piece touched me very much so because in a way, it's like as though I wrote it out. And when a piece can relate to the reader in a very sure way, the piece becomes more powerful.
My only suggestion is to perhaps correct the struture of the piece. That way it'll be easier to read.
Other then that, excellent job. And I hope everything goes fine.
This is a powerful poem. This is one of those that I decided to read out like a speech in a way, to get the feeliing and emotion correct as I announced the poem to the sky itself. The detail is really good but more importantly, there's a meaning of truthfulness.
Something that teaches as well as informs others of what you went through. The poem does many things and the reader can see all of this. I really like this poem, and hope you continue to write more
p.s, you got the last spot for my campfire, congrats
This is a very good article that explains in a straight common sense of how to use the Google Search Engine to it's full potential. There were many parts in this article that you explained well. The best thing was the fact that you stressed more in using the different search features for Google. Most people always use the default, but by explaining the other features, this is a perfet way to help a writer or even a non writer to use Google to the best of it's potential.
Excellent poem. The rhyming scheme is perfect, as well as the meaning behind the poem. The readers can feel moved when reading this piece, since it can relate to basically anyone who has ever fallen in love, or still searching for that one person to make them complete.
The 2nd last stanza was a bit awkward when I was reading the poem out-loud, otherwise this is a very good poem.
Although this poem is brief, it does hit the spot when it comes to inflicting feeling in the reader. It's a very simple poem and yet it tells a story itself. It can also connect to the reader, and therefore makes the poem even more powerful. Unfortunatly, that is the risk of loving or liking someone. The feeling of loss will continue to show itself in our hearts in many ways. The only thing that can heal our broken hearts is time and experience.
This piece is really passionate Soha. You talk about the sun in ways in which it is all about emotion. All about feeling. You relate the sun to be a living piece of you're life, in which case it is for everyone, but for you especially.
You would have got a better rating however if you didn't have so many grammar and spelling mistakes. Even though sometimes we type pieces in just a "flow", punctuation should always be fixed.
Nice poem. Although I feel as though the poem can be improved in it's descriptions so that way it'll be more effective, the poem does have reall meaning behind it. And that usually is a very important element to a poem. For the poem to teach the reader, or give an insight.
For a first attempt in poetry, you sure hit the mark in making the reader be moved. I like this poem because it relates to teenagers, but also adults as well. Just a simple hi can change someone's life. It's a shame we as humans don't do taht enough.
I'm also from Canada and I'm 18. Like you, I also do roleplaying except I've been doing it since I was 13. You are going to like this site even more, I can guarentee that. If you have any questions just e-mail me, and I can help you out to the best of my ability!
This poem does indeed reak of darkness. The rhymes work very well, and I can picture myself in this poem. This works well when you want the reader to relate to what you are trying to say in you're poetry. Maybe if you described how you reached this darkness would make this poem relate to the reader more, and make the reader understand it's deeper meaning.
I aws jumping the gun. I only do that if I read something that was amazing, inspiring, perfect, and true. You have hit the target. The only thing I need to add is also about attitude, and how it also makes a difference in you're self-esteem. I'm happy that you wrote this, and that others get to read this.
I like to show you this contest I made. It might interest you.
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This contest is all about self-esteem. I'm trying to get fellow writers to talk about self-esteem, whether it's from things they've seen, or about their own personal esteem. I made this so that way people can learn by reading the poems entered into this contest, and also write about it. We are humans and we aren't meant to be alone. This to me is a perfect way for us to understand.
Excellent poem, I do like this a lot. The form is perfect, as well as the rhyming. Also, the meaning behind this poem is very clear. The only reason why I didn't give it a 5 was because I wasn't moved by this poem. However, that is a little thing compared to what the topic says, and how you managed to hit it dead center.
Good Job! Also, if you like poetry about mirrors, I have a poem that you might be interested in.
It's called, Looking at my Reflection. It's in my poetry folder, you might like it.
You're poem has hit a spot on my heart. The reason being is that I like you also didn't like showing my emotions, especailly the ones that can make me cry.
However, crying does not make you weak. It is in fact the opposite, because when you decide that you are weak, you are letting others who view you take over you. This took a while for my to understand, and even at 18 I still have doubts of myself. But I've grown more in myself, and I understand. Emotions don't make you weak, showing them doesn't make you weak, it makes you strong. By showing you're emotions, you are telling them that I don't care what you think. I am my own being. I am a human. And taht is where you're strength will come out.
Tears may hurt, but they also purify, remember that.
This article is very interesting. The title alone got me very curious and that is a good thing since it will grab people's attention. You make some good points in this, on how freedom has it's pro's and con's. You say that you wish there is a world where there is no evil, however if there was no evil in the world, we wouldn't be talking about this today. In fact, we wouldn't even be human.
Why wouldn't we be human? Because all humans have dark emotions. It's there, and no one can change that. We can just control the emotions so that way it would not come out. And also, evil around the world actually can show what it means to be human. Evil can unite people to fight back, or to help in another.
When we see evil, it brings out the best in humans to fight back the darkness. Also, there is no such thing as absolute evil. We dictate evil as a bias still. Technicaly, if you think about it, there isn't such thing as absolute evil since what it comes down to is the perspective of the individual in question.
Without evil, we wouldn't have the knowledge or experience we have now. And in order to grow as a human, we need to have experience. And if we don't have experience, how do we grow?
I think this poem I like by far compared to your other poems. This stands out a bit because it can relate to almost everyone in the world. The flow of the poem is perfect. The message is once again clear. And this poem is also personally related to me in a way. Sometimes a smile is what we need in order to have a better day, or a better start. :)
Very nice. Also, check back on my contest forum because I posted a reply to your poem there.
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And I hope it goes well for you in the end.
