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3,212 Public Reviews Given
3,251 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
XGC, poems, prose. I am an animal activist and vegan, so cruelty or violent, unnecessary, death due to negligence is overwhelming. I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Honeymoon  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Ned Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*BookStack*
My attention was first drawn to the prompt word because, per contest rules, that's a requirement. (I'm guessing it was for a contest.) It would be great if the poem included a link to the contest in case others might be interested.

*Bookstack*
The phrase 'so good looking' sounded so bland, it was almost meaningless. That is, until I read the entire poem. As an off-side comment, I liked the overall symmetry. And I do like poems with no punctuation until the period at the end.

*Bookstack*
With the title, the poem is ironic. There's no way the honeymoon will last between these two. You chose an excellent word to rhyme with gastric. And even the brief description rhymed. Putting this all into the theme you were establishing was quite clever.

The rhythm was sing-song and fun to read.

The cover art (for me) was off-putting. I thought it was a picture of an octopus. *Laugh* On my third try, I finally saw the spaghetti.


Reviewing your work was
My Pleasure tks.

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
2
2
Review of What Did He Say?  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi SandraLynn Team Florent! Nixie here. I found your entry here "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge"  to see what writers did with the weird prompts.



*Baretree3*
The story kicked off with a compelling title. The scene was established in the second paragraph. Nicely done.

Kids can be impossible to understand at Aiden's age, probably only his parents would be able to interpret the words. lol.

From the first paragraph, I wondered if Aiden had any sort of mental disability, mainly attention deficit disorder.

His repetitious behaviour gave me that impression. I decided to go with that hunch, even though it didn't play out.

*Baretree3*
I liked his character because his actions led to the patience of the grandmother. I thought, 'oh, good job grandma, distracting him.' Although the gift of the egg wasn't so very wise. The image of him wiping the goo on his shirt made me cringe.

Once again, this action set off the next one. When Aiden began to cry, I could also easily envision him with those 'big fat tears'.

*Baretree3*
Why I almost skipped over this. Readers like to see a larger font and more white space. It's much easier to read. The words are not in a tight snarl, and no squinting is required.

I liked your story enough to read, despite that personal drawback of mine.

*Baretree3*
I never, ever would have guessed what Aiden meant by 'bottle chicken'. But the grandfather had enough experience to fathom the meaning.

A cute story all around. Simple and light. You made me smile. *Smile*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
3
3
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk Nixie here. I found your work posted on the Newsfeed this morning.

*ZodiacTaurus*
The catchy title that could mean anything drew me in. *Checkg* Yay for the larger font and generous white space.

I resisted my usual approach to reading stories and started at the beginning, rather than the end. I'm so proud of myself, and so grateful because I was awarded with the twist at the end.

I enjoyed the back and forth dialogue, all the while trying to figure out what was going on. Nothing sounded sinister, but they were there after hours.

...intermittent aerosol hissing...gave me an ah-ha moment, but I was still hesitant to draw a conclusion.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I had to laugh after reading paragraph three and how newbies were needed for special missions. The second sentence is the longest run-on that I've ever read, yet it didn't feel awkward in the least. In fact, I had to go back and read it again to ascertain it was a run-on. Great job making all those words flow smoothly.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I have to toss in a personal connection. A group of coworkers and I got permission to be in the building after hours. We spent hours decorating the office for Halloween. There was one guy who never seemed to work. We put 'cobwebs' around his in-box. *Laugh*

*ZodiacTaurus*
Nice play on the turnaround. Black-ops lost its ominous overtones to the sounds of laughter. I hope the C.E.O. is an affable guy. Our cobweb co-worker was not amused.

Clever, clever story, where the prompt was easily slipped in.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
4
4
Review of A Boy and his Dog  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi StephBee - House Targaryen Nixie here. I found your item listed on the Newsfeed. You must be one popular woman!

*ZodiacTaurus*
Oh what fun to imagine a talking dog. I bet this would be a great poem for kids to read, or be read to. The first stanza set the scene, and what followed was easily visualized. I particularly liked the third stanza due to the unique wording. (hunted down his pants) and the dog (pranced).

The rhyming scheme flowed, and the read was fast as it mirrored Andy's panic.

While the title fits the poem, it's not overly exciting or enticing. The brief description was the draw. I'm sitting here wondering if this was written for a GoT challenge. That would explain quite a bit.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Here's a few places where I got perplexed.

The last line in the third stanza 'felt off' because the word (over) was used twice. Consider using one or the other.

I don't know who Suzie is, or why she's in the narrative. The indication is that of a party the night before. I figured Andy was young, so the party theme didn't quite fit.

Note to self- "Adjust your perception, Nixie, and fill in the blanks." Yup, I got it.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I'm compelled to answer the last question. In the event that Andy is not delusional, and everyone can hear the dog, Andy would make a fortune with a video.

Cute dog in the cover art. I'm guessing it's yours? Thanks for a fun morning read.

Who said a Taurus is stubborn
Reviewed by Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5
Review of Mr. Nits  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi SandraLynn Team Florent! Nixie here. I found your work posted here. "The Dialogue 500" 

*BookStack*
This was a fun read, sort of the opposite of what happens to me. I need to speak to at least four people to get the correct answer. Last time, it was a question about my cell phone. That took four people to answer, and four hours of my time.

I got a big kick out of this witty dialogue, and the IRS agent who couldn't understand a thing. Now, being passed off because the person working with you is a whole new ball game. The unfortunate Canadian has to run through the whole spiel again.

I've had the experience of someone simply ending my call, on purpose, with no explanation. So weird.

*Bookstack*
For some reason, I thought the contest was for no dialogue, so I was flummoxed as to why this story was all dialogue. *Headbang*

If you add some white space here, and if you're comfortable doing so, increase the font size. It's much easier to read with those two elements included.


*Bookstack*
My favorite two lines were the exchange about pledge. Hilarious.

Your story was easily relatable and kept me entertained. I liked the Canadian's dialogue, with 'gonna' and 'wanna'. I'm not sure if that matches a Canadian accent. It sounded purely southern.


Reviewing your work was
My Pleasure tks.

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
6
6
Review of Stuck  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Genipher Nixie here. I'm reviewing your story for "I Write in 2024" 


*BookStack*

Sometimes, short is best for a title, and the brief description pulls in the reader. *Checkg*

I've been mulling over this prompt since I first saw it. I had the same idea as having a slab of meat to lure the cougar away. What wasn't explained was how the character wound up in the tree, which may have been part of the prompt. Were those three prompt phrases supposed to be answered? This story covered two of them.

*Bookstack*
From the beginning, you penned a Mary Poppin-ish tone which carried throughout. I kept thinking, oh, this is Mary Poppins, and I was right.

I got a kick out of all the things she had in her backpack and her reaction to the items as she pulled them out. The inner dialogue had me laughing. Especially the chair. Or maybe the potted plant.

My favorite phrase because of the word choice.
"Another blind plunge,"

I also liked the alliteration in the first sentence, last paragraph, (practically perfect).

*Bookstack*
And to top it all off, the Mary Poppins umbrella carried her to safety. Cute take on the prompt. This is a story that brings a smile. Thanks for the read.



Reviewing your work was
My Pleasure tks.

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
7
7
Review of Rock People  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Joseph Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I must confess to reading the conclusion first, because that's the only reason I struggled through the first part. The font is so small, and the white space is non-existent, so I had to squint all the way through for the sake of the rocks.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I got the jist of the plot. Destruction and desolation. What I didn't feel was any emotion or connection. I didn't know who the narrator was, until he introduced himself and his friends. I'd start with that. I found numerous errors throughout. Too many to point out. Maybe if you increase the font and don't choose blue for a color, the errors would be easier for you to see.

I wish guys in stories would fall for the average girl, not the knockout bomb. It's a shame the Tron betrayed everyone, but the conclusion was optimistic and a joy for me to read.

*ZodiacTaurus*
So, why did the end enthrall me? As a kid, I started collecting rocks, but only those who spoke to me. Now I have over 100 rocks, from palm-sized to boulders. I take them with me whenever I move. They are a part of me, and yes, each one has a story to tell. One time, I picked up a rock on a trail, but it gave me a weird, sick sensation in my stomach. It shouldn't be mine, it seemed to say. I walked it back and found a twin on the opposite side of the trail. I returned the one I'd picked up. The relief was profound and validating.

So even though the first part of the story was barely manageable, I'm happy I muddled through it. You gave me a chance to share my rock story.

There is so much material in here, you could write a series of stories, rather than squishing it all together. I don't know the birth of this writing, maybe it came from another piece, or maybe you needed to get the first part spelled out because your brain was firing ideas that quickly.

At any rate, I do hope you'll work on this a bit more. The story is worth it.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
8
8
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Purple is House Florent . Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option. I've never had the pleasure of reading your work before.

*ZodiacTaurus*
First, thanks for writing in a larger font and for leaving a good amount of white space. The formatting made this an easy read. The brief description was 'for Addison', so I'm guessing you wrote this for a particular child.

What a fantastic story for children. The plot held just enough excitement and danger to thrill a child, but not enough to scare them overly much. I always have to remind my grandsons that the good guy always wins to alleviate any fear.

*ZodiacTaurus*
How cool would it be to see this book printed with illustrations? I had a difficult time picturing the bridge scene, which I blame myself for. I became confused, not understanding that the knight had returned to the other side of the bridge after the girls were safe. For a while, I wasn't sure who was saving whom.

If the story was not written for kids, I'd have several questions and suggestions. But for a young person, you've penned the recipe for an enthralling tale. I can imagine any little girl loving the prince and his sword. I'm guessing they would have to be under the age of seven or so to appreciate the plot, since kids are so savvy these days. That question would be answered through learning how old Addison was at the time this was written.

but their castle (has) something
(had) in keeping with the past tense.

alright
all right.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I'd like to see a stronger conclusion, other than the princesses having a story to tell.

Thanks for the read and keep writing.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
9
9
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi Than Pence Nixie here. I found your work here."The Shameless "Plug" Page" 

*ZodiacTaurus*
Wow, this story has promise. The main problem is this is a telling story. With all the action-packed adventures, the reader needs to feel that fear and urgency. This is accomplished by showing the character's emotions through his actions. What does fear feel like? heart-pounding? hands shaking?

*ZodiacTaurus*
I liked how this was formatted. Well spaced and with an enlarged font. What a relief.

Suggestions:
Rather than telling us about a conversation between the worm and Chuck, use dialogue. For example:
The worm finally introduced itself as Degan and the boy said his name was Chuck.

A simplified example:
"Hi, I'm Degan." (add an action beat here)

"Hi, I'm Chuck." How did Chuck react when the worm talked? Wasn't he surprised?

Degan explained the wand wasn’t gone, just somewhere in the world.

"The wand isn't gone," Degan said, "just somewhere in the world."

Take out filter words and adverbs. Be direct.
felt/recognized/really/finally/ to mention a few. Most editing would be simple using dialogue.

*ZodiacTaurus*
The ending was gruesome, but that was my only reaction. Chuck seemed only mildly upset.

This is a story worth editing. It may take some practice (reviewing others' work helps). If you decide to take this story forward, make it stronger because you have some excellent content to work with.

Keep writing. *Smile*



Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
10
10
Review of The Cutting Edge  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi StephBee - House Targaryen Nixie here. I found your work here "The Shameless "Plug" Page" 

*ZodiacTaurus*
First thoughts: A movie has the same title as your story. And I don't think the brief description suits the plot. Yours is a powerful story, and I never had the impression that this was about who the better skater was. I'm thinking: "Love on the Ice" for the title. Just my mind skating along. lol

*ZodiacTaurus*
I wasn't savvy with all the technical terms, but nothing could take away the image in my mind. I felt transported just reading. Ice skating is a gorgeous sport, and wow, that video gave my heart a lift. I was almost speechless when it ended. Her precision was astounding.

On a side note, when it came time to learn my first jump, I fell and broke my arm. lol

*ZodiacTaurus*
The descriptions were tantalizing, from the outside of the building all the way to the interior and then spilling over into the characterizations of Alyssa and Yuri.

Somewhere in here, I found two oversights. 'purse' should be 'pursue' and somewhere else, I think you meant 'skates' rather than 'shoes. I hope those two comments are enough to help you spot what I saw.

Here, in the words, I've met two young people who defied the politics that always get in the way of everything. How cool would it be if they ended up as skating partners? I prefer couples skating to single.

I liked it when Alyssa said 'Udachi'. I had to look it up, which is double fun for me.

Last comment-did you choose 'romance' as a genre? Because this is definitely a romantic story, both for love of ice skating and for Yuri and Alyssa. Nicely done!

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
11
11
Review of Honouring James  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi sindbad. Nixie here. Choconut ~ House Targaryen posted this note "Note: Whew-eee! It's been a busy, old week. [Lin..." and that's how I found your biographical work.


*Baretree3*
Between the chills running up and down my legs and the tears in my eyes, I'm asking myself 'how can you review this?'.

*Baretree3*
I had a feeling a few paragraphs in where this piece might be headed. Not precisely, of course, just a suspicion or intuition for the reason James stopped coming to lessons. When he was allowed to play in the recital, and he appeared disheveled, I know my instincts were right.

*Baretree3*
Why is it more important for boys to start their lessons at an early age? It reminded me of kids over the age of five. If they already have behaviour problems, there's not a thing I can do about it. And I love kids in general.


*Baretree3*
Going forward- it's easier on the reader if the font is enlarged, creating more white space. Nevertheless, I found my way through this, drawn in and curiously captivated by the plot's progression. That's some outstanding writing on your part.

What I didn't anticipate was the conclusion, a double whammy. (The performance was followed by the social worker's appearance.) Make that a triple whammy for what happened to James later in his life.

We are all both teachers and students on life's pathways. James was an exceptional teacher, and you humbly recognized this.

The final paragraph hurt my heart. Why, oh why, do some of the good people die young?

'Thanks for the read' goes to both the one who encouraged you to write this piece, and also to you for following through. It must have been exceedingly difficult to write this. *Heart*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12
Review of Strawberry Buddy  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Don Two Nixie here. I found your work here in the. January 10, 2024 NL Issue

*ZodiacTaurus*
I was captivated by your poem. The format was different from others I've read, and the symmetry immediately drew me in. I skipped over the title and brief description, and oh what a delight I found in the mystery. I missed what had animated the strawberry, but questioned whether it was necessary. Personifying an object means the object already held thoughts. (Especially true after the first line in the second stanza).

*ZodiacTaurus*
I'm confused and remorseful for not latching on to the meaning of the progressive stanzas. Using the word 'pulp' prompted reflection. If the strawberry is already pulped, how is it edible?

*ZodiacTaurus*
I felt awkward because I couldn't make sense of the poem. And my intention is not to insult you. It's obvious by the unique phrasing that you didn't rush through the writing. Then again, I noticed that this was never edited. Interesting.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
13
13
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Erithacus Nixie here. I landed on your poem by clicking the 'read and review' link.


*Baretree3*
Oh, happy days for me. A poem about a tree. I didn't know what a Linden tree was, so googling it was fun. I like to learn when I review.

A question about the title. I liked the sound of 'Fifteen Rings' because it piqued my interest. But what I didn't understand was the 'Green man' that follows. Depending on your intentions, I think it takes power from the title.


*Baretree3*
My one suggestion: break this up into stanzas so the reader can appreciate all your beautiful words. As is, I'm looking at a solid block of text, and I have to squint to read the words. Normally, I would pass on this because of the reading difficulties, but, it's a tree poem, and I can never turn away from those.


*Baretree3*
I often graze my hand over the bark, wondering what these trees have seen over hundreds of years. Trees bring a sense of peace and solidity. I have a huge oak tree right outside my window. It's a home for squirrels and birds, which brings me to my last point.

The last few lines felt forlorn, so different from the verses before it. Yet, it makes perfect sense (after I read it a few times) and closes your masterpiece with reality, wonderment, and awareness of impermanence. Nicely done, keep writing. {e:smile|


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell




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14
14
Review of Tears and Pee  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi 🌷 Carol St.Ann 🌷 Nixie here. I found your story via read and review.



*Baretree3*
As I read, a thought kept running through my mind. Maybe I'm crazy, but I was thinking part of Jerry's spirit was in the dog. I like comforting ideas such as mine. Call me eccentric, I don't mind.

*Baretree3*
You are a lovely person, demonstrated by your care for Rosie. I felt so sad for her when she peed. The tenderness that followed her submissive behaviour nearly broke my heart, wondering who could have given her this fear.

*Baretree3*
I liked the moments you described, especially her exploring the house and then running back to you. The word (scampering) was well-chosen. As was (scurried). In fact, all your word choices showed the reader who Rosie was. I deduced that Rosie was a rescued dog, and you found each other, fated to meet.

*Baretree3*
The first paragraph hit close to home. I had to put my cat down in December, and four months later, I still can't deal with it. My mind is protecting me because I barely remember her. The house is empty without another heartbeat.

I'm guessing by now that Rosie is trained. We had a dog who waited until the carpets were professionally cleaned, before peeing in the living room.

Thanks for sharing your soulful story. I'm happy you have Rosie and she has you. *Heart*


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell




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15
15
Review of Stranded together  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Beck Firing back up! Nixie here. I saw your story here. "The Writer's Cramp" . When I read the prompt, I couldn't put one and two together to create a plot. I see you had no trouble.


*Baretree3*
I was a little confused at first because I didn't know who the characters were. Holly, Jaden, Ted and Sandy. Maybe if the story started with the father, it would be easier to understand who was whom. I recognize the behavior as interaction between two kids, but it took a while to sort it out. It's difficult to start a story with dialogue.

What about a paragraph break in the third line? Ted's actions are separate from Holly's scramble. That would help identify characters. As is, who is Tom swooping up? Holly or the teddy bear? I'm guessing Holly. You could replace (her) with (Holly).
Sammy is the teddy bear?

If you include the paragraph break and the name substitution, that would clear up a lot of questions.

*Baretree3*
When my kids were young, I had three children, ages 5, 19 months and a newborn, respectively. I was trying to fly home because my sister was dying. I couldn't get a flight until 5 pm, and then we had a two-hour delay, not including layovers. *Pthb*


*Baretree3*
I really felt bad for the dad, as he struggled to contain his kids. And I was so sad when he considered himself a failure. I didn't like that he felt people were staring and judging. I've experienced the same.

You included a wise comment, when he wondered how his wife handled it all. The appearance of the mysterious old woman added a touch of mystery, even though I knew what she'd say.

Now, dads are more involved. Baby showers include both men and women. That's a step toward progress.

There are a few problems with spacing here and there.

*Baretree3*
I wondered what game could involve all those children (and parents) at once. I guess it doesn't matter because the closing lines were the most important.

Overall, this is a good story with room for improvement. Only a few tweaks here and there are necessary. *Checkg*

A personal review sig
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
16
16
Review of Wonderland Again.  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Spring in my Sox Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" 

*Bulletb*
The title reminded me of Humpty Dumpty. Was that intentional?
The title does not need a period.

After reading the first two verses, my deceased dad came to mind. He was a strong man, taken down by Alzheimer's and a bad heart. The words 'stoic' and 'solid' summed him up succinctly. He never fell to the devastating effects of not remembering us, he slowly, over time, became exceedingly fragile. He had a favorite chair, which is now empty, but I snapped a shot of it for memories.

In verse three, line 2 ...'remains unspoken' ring true for my family. We all wondered what was going inside his head. Did he know all he could do was stare?

But in verse 3, I also found something I couldn't grasp. Are the last two lines referring to religion?

*Bulletb*
Certain instances make me fragile, being sick, for example. Vulnerable is another adjective I could use.

*Bulletb*
The overall rhythm was at first a little tricky. It seemed to bump and fall over itself. After a few readings, the words fell into place. Your word choices were strong and not repetitive. Each verse brought something new to the poem, which after reading Kiya's comments, I realized it was supposed to be a song.

Thanks for the read, and keep writing.

~Nixie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
17
17
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Happy Earth Day 2024! Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I see you took a course on the subject back in 2011. I took Winnie's course on commas a while ago. And still make multiple mistakes. *Headbang*

Using the w/c as a tool always works for me. I don't have difficulty with not repeating character traits, but I do have a problem with repetitive words. One of which is (back). Once I see how many times I've used the word in question, I copy/paste the item into a Google doc and search for that particular word.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Character depth is an integral part of a story. We do have to show varied responses, negatives, and positives. Oddly, this is something I've noticed in published books by well-known authors. They find one word to describe their character and use it over and over again. So tiresome.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Excellent use of the word (embed). I'd never have thought of that terminology. Today was a good day to be reminded of the potential pitfalls you mentioned here. Writing for "I Write in 2024"  is a challenge. I'm fortunate to have read this today. Thank you.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
18
18
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Emerick - The Preacher Nixie here. I saw your win for the "Search for a WDC HeartThrob Poet "  and wanted to review your poem.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I like the title, but be sure to capitalize the (h) in (heart). *Heart*

*ZodiacTaurus*
Beautifully composed with a lovely rhyming scheme, I enjoyed reading about this endless love. Even if I don't believe in it, the permanence is a comforting thought.

I also had an opposite reaction to line 3 in stanza 2. I once took a course in psychology, and the word 'codependent' was drilled into me. We're 'supposed' to be complete on our own. To reassure you, this comment is in no way a reflection on your poem.

*ZodiacTaurus*
No laughing, (just kidding) but when I read the third stanza about jealousy, a song came to mind. "If You Wanna Be happy" written by Jimmy Soul.

"If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
never make a pretty woman your wife." *Laugh*

Okay, enough levity already. I'm about to shatter the dreamy writing and belief of true love expressed in your poem.

One other moment caught my attention. I liked the repetition of "Set me as a seal upon your heart" in the first and final stanza. The placement of the words was unique. *Thumbsup*

Thank you for the charming read, and congrats on the first place win. Well deserved.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
19
19
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi jackiesmuse Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Well, this is rather sad. The story isn't marked as non-fiction, but it does read that way. And the character's name is the same as yours. Anyhow, I'm playing it safe and treating this as if there were a protagonist.

Interesting title. A title within a title, marking two surprises. Nicely done.

*ZodiacTaurus*
How awful to be thinking of a birthday party, or remembrance, at several points during the day, only to be let down. And then all she found was a cold dinner? My mom has her ways that sting, but she's in her 90's now, so her venomous behavior is over.

*ZodiacTaurus*
There's no setting here, or character description. The plot relied mostly on the dialogue. One cool part was the description of the car and the way it 'sputtered' up the block.

The prompt fit right in with the story. Good job. I liked the positive conclusion. The 'fast forward' felt exactly right. I have never forgotten to make the birthday call, or to buy a cake for my younger daughter who lives near me.

At my age, I prefer it if everyone forgets. *Laugh* But, yes, birthdays are important. If this is non-fiction, I wonder if the mom ever changed. Thanks for the read. Keep writing.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
20
20
Review of Mouse Code  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Ned Nixie here. I found your item via 'read and review'.


*Baretree3*
First response? *Laugh*

The cover art and the title drew me in. I liked the clever take on the words, and how it tied in with the conclusion.

*Baretree3*
The story was a smooth read, and I kept trying to guess what the possible conclusion could be. You caught me totally unawares, even though the answer was right there in the brief description.

I liked the dialogue between the two scientists, smooth and easy. They had an easy rapport and it felt as if they were friends. I don't like the thought of experimenting on the rats, even though the critters terrify me. Once my cat dropped a huge, still warm rat in front of me while I was sitting in the living room. Ugh.

*Baretree3*
I appreciated the generous spacing and font size. I skip reading stories if I have to squint.

*Baretree3*
Fantastic job writing for this contest.

Plot/characters/setting/conflict were all in place.

Somehow, I think this story will stick in my head because I have other more disturbing rat experiences. *Sick*

The story ran so smoothly, I could see myself 'watching' the scientists. *Checkg* Thanks for the read. *Smile*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
21
21
Review of Rules  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham Nixie here. I found your story using the read and review link.


*Baretree3*
Oh no, that poor dog. How did it survive the tumbling? I wondered how old Michelle was; she sounds like a five-year-old or maybe a bit older since she's the older sister.

Because I was worried about the dog, I felt rather mortified as I read. As a mom myself, I would have explained to the child exactly why the dog shouldn't be in the dryer. Good grief, didn't Michelle hear the thumping?

Rather than the 'grounding' choice the mom made, I would have taken the child to an animal shelter where she would volunteer to gain an understanding of animals. (Of course that requires time spent for the mom, but still...

*Baretree3*
*Right* Since Michelle is using (mommy) as a first name, the 'M' should be capitalized.

*Baretree3*
The conclusion was meant to be funny, and I smiled. My strong upset reaction is due to the fact that I was mortified by Michelle's actions. So rating your work based on my feelings doesn't seem fair. The only error I found was the missed capitalized (M).

I want to ask, why was the title "Rules"? It seems there were no rules for this occasion. Just asking.

Thanks for the read, and congratulations on the win. *Smile*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
22
22
Review of Apple Jacks  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Grace Kween Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
In only a few short words you've captured the essence of showing not telling. But more than that, you've brought a pang to my heart. Many sensations can return a person to a moment in their lives. One such is taste. Most go for the smell sensation; the taste is more nuanced and unique.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I like the simple title that tells everything and nothing at the same time. The brief description is vague enough so as not to spoil the read.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I learned quite a bit about you by reading your comments expressed on your portfolio tab. The words gave me a broader understanding of your talents. You really are quite the poet, and you're very much in tune with sensations.

Writing.com is a unique writing website. Many of us consider this to be our second home. The owners have created a safe place to share. I hope you find the same love and joy as so many others.

Some of us post our writings on the Newsfeed. It's also a social gathering place where we can meet new members and comment on others' posts.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
23
23
Review of Off To Wonderland  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi intuey of House Lannister Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" 

*ZodiacTaurus*
Bravo for risking opening up and writing frankly about a personal experience. I realize this was the prompt, but still. Finding pride in what you've accomplished by overcoming (or in spite of) past difficulties is admirable. What a flip-flop growing up experience you endured.

How did you find a job at the age of fifteen? Where did you live?

Your personal story reminded me of this: The most difficult emotion for humans is the feeling of regret. And you found a way to counterbalance that.

My son was a sweet but troublesome boy. He also (I didn't know) stopped going to school in the 9th grade, and then later took his G.E.D., passing with sailing grades. This led to him joining the army.

One thing leads to another, yes?

*ZodiacTaurus*
An oops I noted
That's when my already fractured mind, snapped.
No need for the comma in this sentence.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Surely your choice of vocation has been a gift to the sick or infirm. Similar to those choosing to be a cop, I've always wondered why a person would take on such a difficult career.

You're a champion! *Trophyg*

~Nixie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
24
24
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi elizjohn Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Ouch. Your poem touched me in a painful way, striking like lightning to my heart. The impact of those words brought to mind deaths I have experienced.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I liked the bit of 'misdirection' if I can label lines eight and nine. The words 'gone', 'forgotten', and 'don't remember' distressed me, thinking that no one would remember the person who died.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I was carried along on a sad but smooth journey. The pacing was even and 'felt' right for the emotions it provoked.

And then, wham. You hit me heart-center with the last line. This is a beautifully composed poem (prose-no rhyme scheme). I would suggest adding a period after the last word, but that's the author's stylistic choice.

I thought this prose was non-fiction, but it's not marked as such. Now I'm recalling my dad's burial, and I would also like to forget that winter.

Thank you for the read. Keep writing!

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
25
25
Review of ANGER  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Naomi Nixie here. In thanks for sending me a review, I'm sending one to you. This forum encourages reciprocation. "Review Your Reviewer" 

*Vignette1*
Your words are easily relatable. Anger, resentment, or any other negative emotion is capable of ruling our lives. Forgive and forget is a lesson to be learned. I'm capable of forgiving, but not forgetting. Forgiving myself is something I struggle with.

The second sentence in line four is my absolute favorite. I also say, if someone upsets you because they are negative, don't dwell on it. A person on the receiving end only has to tolerate the mean one for a bit. The negative person has to live with themselves forever. That's not a universal statement. If said person is in our lives permanently (as in coworkers, for example) one needs to develop additional skills, or practice avoidance. For the reasons I mentioned above, that one line is profound.

*Vignette2*
A few oopses.
Like any emotions, you can learn from it... (them)
Emotions are plural.

Line 5
understanding between people and encourage(s) intimacy.


*Vignette3*
I noticed all your titles are in full caps. Is there a reason for that? I found it distracting. The brief description also has unexpected capital letters. I don't understand why.

One more issue. I'd like to see that first sentence without anger written in full caps. If it's important for you to emphasize it, try italics. Oh, one more thing on the use of ellipses. They are used to represent an omission of words. (for example, a person's sentence is cut off.) Think of an ellipse as a three letter word with spaces. Like this: . . . My sister taught me to count to seven when using them. That works for me.

Consider using a period after (love) instead.

Thank you for the thought-provoking essay. In a mere four lines, you've expressed a powerful lesson. Keep writing. *Smile*

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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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