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In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (3.5)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Tom and Helen are heading to Las Vegas by car to elope. Both feel they are ready to take on this new journey and want to get out from under their parents so they can control their own destinies. They are excited as they talk on the drive, but sudden revelations of how they each see their future together start to conflict.

Spelling/Grammar Issues:
than an apartment for
They two

Think about using other dialog tags instead of relying on on said Tom, or Tom said. For instance, instead of I know,” said Tom. try something like. "I know," Tom said, his voice filled with excitement.

Adding more details with the dialog connects the reader to your characters and gives them a sense of who they are.

Description/emotion: I wondered what the weather was like and what kind of car they were driving in. Are the windows down and the wind whipping Helen's hair if it's hot?

Overall Impression: You have the basics down, try expanding upon it. Your characters clearly know what they want, and although Tom is rethinking things, you need to show your audience. Do either of them have inner thoughts? When Helen begins to realize that Tom's ideas and hers aren't the same, perhaps she wonders if she's making a mistake, or she's disappointed that he's decided they aren't buying a house right away. Just some things to consider.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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Review of Chasm  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Alexis goes hiking alone in the mountains, and that's when she takes a tumble that sends her into a cavern. Her leg hurts, and she doesn't see a way out. No one knows exactly where she went, and she worries that she won't be found. Life hangs in the balance as she tries to decide what to do. Before long, she begins to hallucinate, seeing almost every person she's ever known making her feel worse.

Spelling/Grammar Issues:
have successful careers,
What's happening to

Description/emotion: My mother is battling Alzheimer's now, so this really hit home. All of the little things we miss when their mind starts go. I'm glad that the person that gave her the push to get out of that hole was her mother. That she got that conversation, even though it was more of a dream, but regardless, she got that. The visual of her mom, the way she used to be was great.

Overall Impression: Just a little motherly love and encouragement was enough to get Alexis to try again, to grit through the pain and make it up and out of that hole until she could be rescued. I liked that her mother used her saying that life is hard to get Alexis to get up and get moving. Overall, it's a solid story that takes you through Alexis' thought process and determination to keep going.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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3
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: After three long years, a man is released from the mental hospital. The year is 2408 and a lot has changed. The nurse is not bothered by the fact that this patient has no where to go, just that he's taking up a room that they will be using for someone else. I am assuming that after losing his wife and job, and his children going off to fight a war, that it was too much for him to take.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: Noen

Description/emotion: Great descriptions of Bobo the clown. His round red nose fell off, his streaked make-up, crooked wig, and the tears. Bobo tells the man how he is no longer needed, and he's devastated about that. The man cannot comprehend all that Bobo is telling him and walks away. Spending time reading books in the library, he becomes informed and looks for Bobo, believing that if people laughed again, they would be happy. Bobo, he feels, is the key to unlocking both of their happiness.

Overall Impression: I did wonder where this story would end. And even though I read the description, I did not see that coming. I love surprise endings. Good job with the unpredictability of the story. Too bad Bobo didn't make it. Though it does leave questions about how the man will be received with his bowling pins.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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4
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Henry is celebrating his one-hundredth birthday. He doesn't speak, and it doesn't become clear why until the end of the story. Good job keeping that truth hidden. He is a veteran, I'm assuming from Normandy Beach, and lives in a retirement home. He isn't happy there. The waves crashing against the shore hold too many dark memories for him, and he is surprised no one has ever made that connection to understand why he's unhappy.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: No issues.

Description/emotion: Really good descriptions of Henry's mindset. He sees the young aid as bouncy, and cannot remember when he was that way. He thinks a lot about his time growing up on a farm, a place he still misses.

Overall Impression: Henry is surprised by the son of a soldier he was friends with so long ago on this birthday. David asks if Henry remembers his father and tells him how his father always spoke fondly of him and had been searching for him for a long time. Just this information was enough to pull on the heartstrings. It really didn't matter where the story went when the acknowledgment and understanding Henry needed came from David. But I loved the ending, for Henry found the peace he so desperately needed and deserved.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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5
Review of The Locked Door  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: This was a nail-biter, as I felt like I crawled up beside Benjamin and followed him through every step of this journey, desperate to know what was beyond that locked door. The ending did not disappoint, and was more a total shock that I'm still shaking my head over. I assumed someone was there, but the reality - wow.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: None

Description/emotion: Great job here. Benjamin shows how much love he holds for his father, and how spending time with him in the basement working on projects together is the best part of his day. He liked being praised for doing well, it makes him feel good. But the mystery behind that door, the expressions from his parents when he asks about the door, and their conflicting responses pique his curiosity. Determination leads him to sneak downstairs and unravel the mystery.

Overall Impression: What a gripping tale you've spun. I couldn't read fast enough to get to the end. Shocked is an understatement. Losing a child is a parent's worst nightmare. It's heartwrenching. These parents found a totally unconventional way to remedy their heartache. And not only once, but multiple times. Great detail and that twist ties it all together and then the questions begin regarding Benjamin.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


I'm not gonna lie, I always love a good rant. Usually, I'm the one doing the ranting. Whew, where to begin with this? Well, you said it was written in 2002, so 22 years ago. Here it's, good old 2024, with inflation on the rise and everything going up around us; I can honestly say the one thing that hasn't changed for me financially is my membership fee. I started with the basic membership, completely affordable. The more of the site I explored, the more I wrote. With writing comes storage. Static items turned into book items, so I upgraded my membership. And seriously if you do the math and round up, this equates to about twelve dollars a month.

Let's put that into perspective, shall we? Friday night I ordered grinder subs. We used to eat there all the time, but I'm older, work more, and I'm just plain lazy. I hate traffic and people where I live do not know how to drive in my opinion. We are a family of three now. One whole sub, two half subs, which I drove and picked up, no delivery fee involved here, to the tune of forty-three dollars! I am still shocked by this. I had their menu in the draw. They haven't even been in business for more than twenty years. When I looked at the menu, I had stashed at home, and the price of the same food about ten years ago was half what I had paid. I am still scratching my head over that.

As for this site, I commend you for being able to articulate your argument well. I wouldn't have been so nice about it. I remember when the big upgrade was happening here and chatted with a few people and we discussed how much work went into it. Moving a server, trying to make it as painless as possible. All of that took a lot of work on your part, and it's way over my head as to how these things work behind the scenes. This article should be front and center for the newbies, and for the old timers like myself who need a reminder of what is truly Free on this site. It's one hell of a list!


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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7
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Description: As the contest title informs you, you are not allowed to use dialog, which includes inner dialog as well. This sounds like a great challenge for short story writers who tend to use dialog to move the story forward. Another challenge of this contest is to get the story written in seven hundred words or less. It must be newly written for that month's contest and do not forget the word count! This is so necessary and a lot of writers forget to do that, which results in disqualification, sadly.

Overall Impression: The page layout if fun and colorful. The rules are clearly stated and easy to follow. Good prizes away the winner of this contest, from the exclusive contest ribbon for first place, to their exclusive merit badge and gift points for second or third. This contest has been around for almost as decade and has even won some Quill awards. Congratulations. There are a lot of writing acitivites and contests on the site, but this one stands out because it is different from other contests. Being a bit more restrictive makes the writer take their time, polish up their skills and get to work at crafting a great story. It's too bad this contest is on hiatus. It looks like a lot of fun!




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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8
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: A little insight into taboo subject matter according to the masses. It was nice to read something out of my usual comfort zone, and this quick read was really good. I was pulled in from the first line and you held my attention until the last line and gave me things to think about afterward. It's always a good thing in my opinion.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: none

Description/emotion: You made it easy to get into the head of the woman who waited. Her thoughts were clear and focused. She knows exactly who she is and what she wants, and the thought of these things happening has her ready for the next experience. Her song is a melody of her journey in domination and submission, though her definition of the word differs from the dictionary. To her, it's a freedom of expression, of giving all she has to give to another.

Overall Impression: I liked that you clearly spelled out how trusting someone must be to go this route. It is a mindset, as well as a physical act. Between books and movies these days, that point tends to be overlooked. Using the form of her own song made this a standout piece. Now my mind is wondering what happens next, and will it be all she hopes for.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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Review of The Detached  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review

Subject: If I understood this poem correctly, it is about being detached from humanity, easily being swayed to the dark side, for lack of a better term, and carrying out the evils without remorse because material things are what we deem as important, not life itself.

Flow: This piece moved pretty well, though I did get hung up in the middle. That could just be me.

Description: This unfolded like a gripping tale and pulled me in right from the beginning. The highlighted words added to the eeriness of this piece as evil and dark shadowy figures come out to do their bidding. Rancid, fetid breath, now that really stood out and cause me to turn up my nose, as if I could actually smell it. You do so well with imagery in your writing.

Overall Impression: This is like a ritual continually carried out, pouncing on those in grief or turmoil because they are already in a state of despair. I'm still pondering the detachment because I see it every day in life as the world seems to be ruled by it. No common courtesy or morals; just live your life and forget about the consequences of your actions. Anything that I read that keeps me thinking about it long after is always a good sign in my book.






The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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10
10
Review of One Way  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Oh so very creepy. Damn, I'm still trying to shake that chill from my spine! Alex and Melissa are on a drive in the middle of nowhere. The GPS cannot tell them where they are. They trade banter about it when the car suddenly dies. Their dog, Sheba, is excited to get out of the car and go on a walk to try and find help. That's when they discover One Way.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: None

Description/emotion: You can always tell when a couple has been together for a while by the way they interact with one another. I liked this couple a lot, and their banter was great. Good description of the narrow road they are on, worried about an oncoming car. And the sudden disappearance of their vehicle and the house, which appears out of nowhere. That truly creeped me out. That older man put an image of Lurch in my mind. Tall, slim, gaunt. Not sure if that's what you were going for, but that's where my mind went.

Overall Impression: What a choice to make. Their options were clear enough, pointed out by the older man, and I wasn't surprised that Melissa wasn't fooling around and went for it. That character has spunk. Alex seemed thankful and relieved that Melissa took the decision out of his hands. Great job.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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Review of ~I'm Coming Home~  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Whoa. I am still shocked by this flash fiction short. I was hooked right away as her husband gave up so easily and left her all because she couldn't give him physically what he wanted. What a bum. Fate of course stepped in, as it has a tendency to do and gave her something in return for her heartache and sorrow.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: No issues

Description/emotion: Good job showing the accident as the rain came down. Miss Riveria works quickly to extricate the child from the crashed vehicle and then she makes a monumental decision right there and then. The parents have died in the wreckage, who will look after the child? It's funny that the husband had her prepared for emergencies by keeping a flashlight in the car, and when she used it, it would be for something he desperately wanted.

Overall Impression: I didn't expect that outcome, though I should have I suppose. It's not like you weren't leading the reader there. Being that close to Mexico, it's understandable that this was her chosen route. Who would question that the child wasn't hers? No one really. Three years and she holds no regrets which means it was the right decision for her. Customs didn't even second guess her coming into the country on foot, with a strolled and small child.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: One of the scarier thoughts happening right now as technology takes over, and we still don't fully know how we fit into all of this. They love to pretend we're not going anywhere, but the powers that be don't know how to keep their mouths shut, and this leads to conspiracy theories running rampant. The whole chip thing is something worth getting a little upset about. If you can't trust the government, who can you trust?

Spelling/Grammar Issues: None.

Description/emotion: Wow, the whole blowing your arm off thing sounds pretty freaky, but in this climate of insanity, who are we to stay with one hundred percent confidence? This could or will never happen. I've lost faith in all these institutions that are supposed to keep us apprised of situations and safe. They are doing a bang-up job already.

Overall Impression: Many people have already put the chip into their pets hide. It does make a person wonder when they will start doing this to their children to track them.

Funny story: my daughter-in-law has an iPhone, as does my son, my husband, and her entire family. Imagine my surprise when I found out that she and her parents, who live in France, watch my kid drive to and from work daily. It is this exact reason I refuse to get an iPhone. I do not want them tracking my movements.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: I swear it is always the case: when one thing breaks, expect at least two more appliances to decide it is past time to time and make you fork over more money for new and improved versions. At least the companies claim they are new and improved. I have been on the fence for a solid year now about getting one of these things, hoping it will keep my wood floors clean while I'm at work. I think I'm too cheap to break down and actually do it. *Laugh*

Spelling/Grammar Issues: No issues.

Description/emotion: The visual of the planks and the Roomba getting stuck was comical. So was the Roomba hiding under the couch and waiting for the exact moment you decide to walk by and it creeps out and knocks you off balance. It sounds scary, and I'm not sure I would appreciate something like that happening.

Overall Impression: Your comedic timing in the midst of all these things going on in your life is impressive. However I must say, that these days, it's almost imperative that you keep a sense of humor because when bad things happen, they tend to happen in rapid succession. It's like the fates lined up and said one slap is not enough, it should come in threes. I don't know, but that's what it feel like anyway, and this story leans toward proving me right!


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: The California school system leaves much to be desired in this short story of a mom dealing with the powers that be and a child who has taken it upon themselves to skip off to do some afternoon shopping. Honestly think I'd lose my mind if my children were still in a public school these days. School shootings are out of control and our lawmakers do nothing. Don't even get me started on that subject. *Laugh*

Spelling/Grammar Issues: None

Description/emotion: I loved how you told the principal what would happen with your daughter from then on. Way to go. And I agree with you about the way things were done when we were in high school. Those entitled kid today are clueless about the way the world works, and they only have their parents to blame, honestly. In 7th grade, I was in a Catholic school and saw the teacher toss a kid and his desk out the damn window for spouting off. Having a teacher sit there and tolerate the abuse, although I'm assuming there was some discipline for that student later, is beyond me.

Overall Impression: Another great story, reminding this generation of how things worked, and the stark contrast to how they work now and teachers lose everything and kids think they are the ones in charge.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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15
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Moving to Wyoming was an experience right from the beginning. From the Texas winter you were familiar with to a new Wyoming winter hell, for lack of a better word. I've read plenty about their extreme winters to know it's best to stay put if a storm is brewing.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: None.

Description/emotion: As always, great descriptions. It was easy to connect with you through the worry and the tricks your mind played, sending you from one horrible scenario to the next in record speed, all while drinking some vodka on top of it. I will say that I like this husband, as he seems to be a stand up guy, though things might not work out the way he thinks they will, props to him for giving it the old college try.

Overall Impression: Wow this was a memorable move for certain. That is one determined man you have, returning after moving into the condo just to get that Suburban to your place. I liked that he made friends with the hotel cook, who helped him out, to police officers as they did their best to get that vehicle up the hill and went out of their way. You do not find this kind of unwavering help in the big city, at least not around here. Locked out, huh? In the winter with just a robe. Webbie, you are just a doll.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: This author often moves around the country. Leaning in Texas and learning how to make hot wings became a must, and this dish moved with her from one state to the next, with the same results. It becomes a feeding frenzy, an addiction where everyone is welcome, and once the word is out, they come in droves to experience this delightful spicey dish.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: None

Description/emotion: It's great that you look back on this with fond memories, wondering if those you'd dished up the hot wings to over the years also have. They certainly should! I cannot wrap my mind around how big and heavy that cast iron skillet must be to accommodate two pounds of chicken wings. Good job with the visual aids and aromas you described. That made it easy to close my eyes and picture it and inhale that peppery aroma as it wafted its way outside to the waiting army of hungry schoolers.

Overall Impression: I liked that this became a Friday staple for everyone. Even though the move went from Texas to Wyoming and then California, everyone agreed on those Buffalo wings. This is what shows the kids that home is where family is, no matter where you're living. Great job.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Vacationing in California leads to a scary, albeit funny story that can be told for decades to come. Finding humor in the most unexpected places is always a good thing, and this was great. The family on a fascinating vacation, cameras in hand, ready to see the sites and then something inevitably goes wrong. Isn't that always the way of it.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: None

Description/emotion: I had to feel bad for the father chasing after his teen who didn't get off the trolley car, screaming obscenities, running as fast as possible, though it was comical too. You made it easy to picture that scene with the daughter's horrified reaction to realizing the rest of the family had gotten off.

Overall Impression: I am enjoying these little tidbits from family life and how you manage to make the best of what could be really scary situations. The reactions fo the family are spot-on, especially the grandmother in tears. I've been there myself with one of these situations where they think their loved one will never return, or horrible things are about to happen. Solid advice for the rest of us when it comes to family vacations and staying alert and together. Nice job!



The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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18
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: Isn't it great when true life is ten times better than fiction? Taking your mother to Reno for her first foray into gambling bliss is serious business.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: None.

Description/emotion: I don't even know where to begin with all the fantastic gems you laid out in this short story. From begging magical monsters to granny from hell to a giddy, giggling grandmother. This piece did not disappoint it went beyond what I thought a five-hundred-word short story would entail. This would be great in a longer piece.

Overall Impression: I see this kind of craziness in what we call 'the scratchers' at work. You know, the people who come in with a hundred dollars and start buying scratch-off, go out, scratch, come back, and buy more, never truly cashing in winnings, just giving it back to the lottery Gods. Let's face it: no one gets ahead in the gambling frenzy. I could picture you snatching that bucket of nickels from your mom and hightailing out of the casino. This is a family story that will shock the younger ones as they try to wrap their minds around the woman they know and love turning into a gambling demon. The comedy you promised was top notch!




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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Review of The Dance  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: A man is dragged to the bar by his friends Melissa and Frank; though he doesn't consider himself dance material, he hangs out at the bar. It's crowded, and he almost has his drink knocked out of his hand.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: No issues

Description/emotion: I liked how he was mesmerized by her eyes and even though he might not like dancing, he finds himself on the dancefloor with her for more than just one song. She waved her hand before his face as he stared at her. Speechless was easy to picture and as a reader, you knew he was drawn to her. You did a good job giving glimpses of what she looked like and what the pull was for him.

Overall Impression: The portions you had to include for this contest entry, were used well and didn't seem out of place. It was a little shorter than I was expecting. You had the opportunity to make this hot as she stayed in his arms on the dancefloor, their bodies close together. You could have taken that further, had his body respond, or thought about all of the things that could await him in the future with this woman. With a few little additions here and there, it would have had all of the elements of a Weekly Quickie entry.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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Review of Skip  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline:k Barney's dog Skip is missing. He hangs posters around town. His parents don't seem as concerned as the little boy does, but they do their best to appease him.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: No issues

Description/emotion: Barney is attached to his dog, and all he wants is to find him and bring him home. That connection was there. He painted a good picture of his life with his parents. His mom ensures she and Barney take their shoes off but lets his father skip that. She also has a strict rule that he's not allowed to be out after the street lights come on, which Barney does do his best with. The excitement when the phone rings and they learn there is a sighting of Skip had me hoping that the boy found his dog and it wasn't a wild goose chase. Good descriptions of the dog's state once found: Dirty, hungry, and happy to see his owner.

Overall Impression: This story is about a little boy and his beloved dog who is sweet. I enjoyed reading Barney's journey to finding Skip at the dump. A happy ending for Barney, and him knowing that his mother would insist on Skip getting a bath was a good way to end the story, tying it back to the beginning as Barney described his home life.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Storyline: A man sits in a coffee shop and another man sits down at his table, asking if he's read certain books. Man #1 has no idea why the second man has sat as his table when the coffee shop is empty. But it's eerie enough to make him think that the other man is going to kill him.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: No issues.

Description/emotion: I didn't quite get a feel for these characters except for the waiter, who was always confused by what was happening. First, the customer tells him the other guy intends to kill him to the woman at the back door looking for someone else. Aside from nervousness, I didn't detect any fear if the man truly believed he was going to die; there should be some fear or sense of danger.

Overall Impression: Mystery genre set as a short script. I understand the concept of moving from one character to another in a script and getting different points of view. I never quite understood why character one thought character two was out to kill him. Was the old lady at the back door a distraction so that the murder could take place? And why would a waiter open the back door? That seemed out of place, especially if he'd already called 911 to get the police to the coffee shop. This feels unfinished. Perhaps having the man do something to show his fear, other than whisper to the waiter. Fidgeting with his cup, looking around, over his shoulder, just a little something to add to it.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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Review of Foretold  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review

Subject: You weaved the prompt of horror and actual horrific things that happened to many into a long poem that was seen through the eyes of an ancient witch. The subject matter is something most do not want to speak about, though I believe it must be spoken of in order to truly move forward and not repeat past mistakes.

Flow: This poem flowed fairly well, there were a few instances where I stumbled over the rhyme scheme.

Description: Descriptions, though necessary to get the piece's point through to the reader and stay within the prompt of horror/scary may be difficult for some to read. It is painful subject matter, yet you went for it and did it well. The witch and her cauldron were easy to picture. Stirring her brew as the images assault her. She knows what's to come, and where it will lead, yet she cannot do anything to stop it.

Overall Impression: You captured what was happening back then, what not only the men went through, but women and children too at the hands of another race. The ending surprised me, though I could understand why she chose that route. Those images will forever be burned into her memory; her eyesight is trivial after what she witnessed. Thank you for sharing this piece.






The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Story: More than meets the eye
Windell discovers a magic wand with a promise of untold beauty. He makes his wish to look more appealing, more like Zeph. He finds everything about Zeph intriguing. Going to a school that day proved to be a one-eighty for him, as he finds he's suddenly noticed by his peers, Zeph in particular.

Spelling/Grammar/Issues: {e;thumbsupl}

Description/emotion: It was easy to connect with Windell and his insecurities about himself, as we tend to dwell on what we deem the bad parts of ourselves instead of all the positives. Vibrant eyes and an easy smile take over Windell's appearance noticeably. With the magic wand and how Zeph jumps right in after Windell arrives at school, his heart soars, though he knows time is ticking. As the boys walk him from school, the fear in Windell, knowing the magic is wearing off is painful.

Overall: A story about learning to accept oneself and see past our appearance regarding matters of the heart. Great job with the prompt. Usually, writers tend to go for monetary items, and you go in the opposite direction of that. I liked your characters and knowing that Zeph had seen Windell all along, even though Windell hadn't realized that.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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Review of Targaryen Musings  
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Story: If Coffee were outlawed, I would go this far to get my hands on coffee beans! I still cannot wrap my brain around that. Great job with the prompt and telling us all about Clyde and the lengths he went to to get the coffee beans back to Grosenwitz for the dictator's nephew.

Spelling/Grammar/Issues: *Thumbsupl*

Description/emotion: Starting the story with why Clyde is on this mission, and then going into these particular coffee beans set the stage for the rest of the story. I liked how he hid the beans in medical supplies, never once considering that their strong aroma would attract others. Kudos to Miss Bonnie for instantly knowing what was going on. I feel others have come to that hotel with their loot, ready to attempt to cross the border with the contraband. Bonnie is certainly knowledgeable about border crossings. Clyde offering her her salary to accompany him on this adventure was cute. She didn't waste any time accepting the offer.

Overall: Great ending. I chose not to read the prompt at the beginning, and I'm glad I didn't because it wasn't until the very end that we learned his name, Clyde. That worked well with the modern-day Bonnie and Clyde prompt. These characters would work in another short story if you were so inclined.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm Review


Reviewing: Poor Old Hieronymus Bleeg
Hieronymus lives in a galaxy, considered the backwoods of Arphitrite, a remote planet. They are not used to getting deliveries, so when a delivery man shows up looking for him, and he cannot recollect ordering anything, he lies and pretends that Hieronymus isn't home. The delivery man makes a deal to get him to sign for the package and he'll leave it. Once the large box is inside his home, he is curious but studies it, looking for clues before he finally opens it. One box, inside another, and then, a naked, silver woman appears. She's a robot that has the ability to carry on conversations, yet her main task is to clean.


Spelling/Grammar/Issues:
Rita put it on-- Angela?

Description/emotion: Good reactions from Hieronymus as she discovers Angela, him being uncomfortable with her nakedness, and happiness at having someone to talk with and get his home in order.

Overall: The backstory of how Angela was invented was creative and scary, I must admit. With all of the AI stuff happening now, you never know if this is the direction we are headed in the future. It was nice that Hieronymus had a companion of sorts and that he made a connection with Angela, wanting to hurt someone for how her previous life linked to her robotic one.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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