Thank you, Light, for this well thought out article.
You did a very good job of not getting too technical on a very technical subject, and therefore didn't lose readers because you were writing over their heads, as I see it at least.
There were a few issues, mostly of the spelling-punctuation types that were a little disconcerting, but the first, and the most perplexing issue was the use of "IM" in "...if you had an IM conversation...". I couldn't figure out what IM meant for a while, but I expect it meant "intelligent, meaningful", and if so, that is what should have been used. It caused me to lose the intent of the statement, and so would probably do the same to others.
Spelling errors, "tow" for "toe", "mater" for "matter", both of which were avoidable, although not with a spellchecker, should have been caught early.
Punctuation- "...and said ouch?" should have read, in my opinion, "...and said "Ouch!"?" and... "However, the AI closest equivalent to..." should have said "However, the AI's closest equivalent to....".
Had you made the last two sentences of the article a separate paragraph, you would have had a stronger finish, as it would have emphasized the point.
All in all, very enlightening, with very good elucidation of some deep thoughts. I wish I had written it! ;)
Well, if I had a grading system for things like: originality, presentation, spelling and grammar, polished finish, and maintaining focus you'd do real well on originality, presentation, and polished finish. (You should get double for originality but I'm stingy.)
You lose a bit on spelling and grammar because there were a few things that I couldn't understand.
! '...their waking egg machine...' was that meant or was that to be 'walking'?
!! 'private' instead of 'personal', I mean like, chickens ain't persons..although..
!!! I think that "... "Bout wished..." was supposed to be "....'Bout wished..." that double quote threw me.
Now, your focus! From the world situation (meltdown) to the farm and a jump forward in time then a slip down the road to the neighbours.... I think we should agree that you have none, and you don't need any. It worked impressively.
I hope I haven't ruffled any feathers with this review. ;)
"The Dangers of Creativity" is very well put together, with natural progression, clear examples and even a possible solution. A very good essay, and a good example for others to learn from.
The topic is both timely and timeless, for this has been going on for centuries and likely will for centuries to come, ergo, this essay may always be current.
If there is a shortfall to this essay, it's that it is not long enough. While I could have kept reading had there been more in depth material at each stage, but yet, it is to the point and will not deter others by its length.
Full marks are in order!! Thank you for this work!
You have done a very good job on a very difficult subject.
You depict the stages of the illness very well, from symptoms, to the frustrations from the medical field, to the disappointment of finding out for sure, to some of the realities, and end on the best note of all.
While you could have gone deeper into each aspect, I'm sure, that you didn't shows a level of writing expertise, and that you have conquered some aspects, if only temporarily.
I know that you deserve the full rating on this, because I couldn't have done it better, yet I walk the same walk you do.
The intent of this article comes across, despite the fact that there are several instances of discordance in spelling, punctuation, and grammar.
The words "kinda" (should be "kind of"), "their" (should be "there"), "societies" (should be "society's"), "ahve" (should be "have"), and "worlds" (should be "world's") show that a little editing after a good run at writing would have done wonders by having fewer distractions.
This reads more as one person's idea of what aspiring authors should do than an all purpose guide to writing, for several reasons.
#2- the rule on prepositional phrases- never heard of it in over 50 years of reading, writing, speaking the English language, and shouldn't that be 'rules' since there are two of them?
#5, #8, #9 and #10 all have issues, the last being "... over a sentence, that means it's awkward." is dogmatic, for the reader could have vision, or even mild dyslexia.
Nevertheless, reading this helps a newbie by making them aware of pitfalls.
I hope someday that the author of this expands the theme of this work, for it seems that there is more to be said, a deeper revelation to be brought forth.
The phrases "were scientists themselves" and "possibilities of science and its limits" give to me, at least, a sense that there is more to this that could be either postulated or examined.
Well put together, kept to the point, worthy of the 5 rating because it left me wanting more.
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