StephBee - House Targaryen's (sgcardin) Reviews

StephBee - House Targaryen

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3,924 Public Reviews Given

4,136 Total Reviews Given

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#4747240

Review of On Being Yellow

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

GAMES OF THRONES POEM REVIEW

This is a review for "On Being Yellow"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE POEM

A fun poem about being promoted to yellow case here on WDC.

WHAT I LIKED

What a heartwarming, fun, and uplifting poem! It's a nice dedication to a yellow case promotion. There's a nice beat to the poem when read outloud.

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme. T

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. If anything, I might suggest using a "deeper" shade of yellow, maybe gold or even an organish-yellow, because the bright yellow used here makes it really hard to see the words. The poem is easy to read and understand.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Yellow is the star of the day sunshine for all to see" - It's just an uplifting description which passes out good vibes. My example isn't necessarily yellow but it's easier to read.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title is reflective of the poem and the opening engages the reader. The poem is not overly long and hold the reader's attention well. I enjoyed the lighthearted tone and the positivity. The poem is upbeat and puts a smile on one's face. This poem is a great way to spread the yellow case on WDC.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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#4747233

Review of In Her Memory

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)

GAMES OF THRONES POEM REVIEW

This is a review for "In Her Memory"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE POEM

The poem is a heartwarming tribute to the poet's mother.

WHAT I LIKED

I loved the sweet, reverent nature of the poem. It is a touching tribute and captures the essence of a loving relationship between a mother and child.

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme. It gives the appearance of an acrostic poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make easier on the eyes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "The smiles we share and the tears we shed" I can easily visualize each of them sharing those important life moments, a graduation, a wedding, the birth of a child, but it also speaks to an emotional description, those undercurrent of feelings which make those life moments special.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem's title is reflective of the content and the opening engages the readers. The poem touches on life and death, topics that readers deal with everyday. A heartwarming tribute!

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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#4747228

Review of Happy Holiday c-Notes

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

GAMES OF THRONES CNOTE COLLECTION REVIEW

This is a review for "Happy Holiday c-Notes"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE CNOTE COLLECTION

This collection focuses on Holidays to include: Easter, Christmas, and Halloween

WHAT I LIKED

My favorite Cnote was "The Witching Hour." It sums up my Halloween Vibe very well! Another thing I liked was that the cnotes were very affordable. All the Cnotes are very unique and keeping in a whimsical theme which is representative of Webbie's creativity.

ENGAGING

The Cnotes are very creative and imaginative which makes them appealing. There's a nice selection.

VARIETY

There were a lot of choices in cnotes between the three holidays. I would definitely recommend this collection!

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The opening graphic is appealing to eye and draws potential buyers in.

PARTING THOUGHTS

My only suggestion here is that I would love to see 4th of July Cnotes! The cnotes touch the heartstrings with their unique and whimsical presentation. Not only do they send a heartwarming and sweet message, they also let the recipient know they were thought of.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Sigil for Game of Thrones 2024

4

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#4747220

Review of The Witch's Chamber

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

GAMES OF THRONES MESSAGE FORUM REVIEW

This is a review for "The Witch's Chamber"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE MESSAGE FORUM

Dubbed "The Witch's Chamber" is a quick and easy fundraiser that benefits the ROAK upgrade brigade and The Witch's House.

WHAT I LIKED

It's a great way to support the WDC community. All you have to do is buy an exclusive Merit Badge. It's a tad pricy mind you, but the buyer gets an exclusive MB and the satisfaction in knowing they helped to support the community.

ENGAGING

Who doesn't love to earn and exclusive merit badge. Not only that, the activity is simple and not too overwhelming.

VARIETY

If anything, my only suggestion would be to offer 1 or 2 more exclusive MB's to the mix.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Great use of WDC ML and graphics. It's easy to understand the rules, and Webbie sets an easy, conversational tone that draws people in.

PARTING THOUGHTS

This is another activity, that while currently closed, could be opened quarterly to help benefit the community. I liked how the people who donated where listed. I think that helps to show community interaction and helps to keep the contest honest.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Sigil for Game of Thrones 2024

5

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#4747218

Review of Angel-Witch Bingo!

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

GAMES OF THRONES MESSAGE FORUM REVIEW

This is a review for "Angel-Witch Bingo! "

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE MESSAGE FORUM

This forum hosts the "Angel Witch Bingo" which comes around every September when WDC celebrates its anniversary!

WHAT I LIKED

I absolutely love Angel Witch Bingo! It's really fun to play and it's easy to play too. Based on the concept of Bingo, that's why I think it attracts a lot of players. The rules are easy to understand.

ENGAGING

The game is very engaging, and with frequent rolls/plays, it keeps community members coming back for more.

VARIETY

The variety is found in the words "Angel" and "Witch," and with the frequent chance to pick your Bingo.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Great use of WDC ML and graphics to lure potential players in. Honestly, it's perfect and sets a fun tone for the activity.

PARTING THOUGHTS

My only suggestion would be this a great activity that you could turn into a quarterly fundraiser if needed, though I don't suppose it's a lot of work. It's a fun and unique activity here at WDC and I highly recommend new members check it out come September.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Sigil for Game of Thrones 2024

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#4746711

Review of The Witch's Garden

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

GAMES OF THRONES MESSAGE FORUM REVIEW

This is a review for "The Witch's Garden "

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE MESSAGE FORUM

The Message Forum is a place where members of the WDC Community can mix and mingle, hang out and have fun.

WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed how the Forum was themed. Mind you, it was a Christmas holiday theme, but I Know Webbie's been very busy lately so she might not have had the time to update it to a spring or even a summer theme. Honestly, for me, who is starting out with my own forum, I found the layout and theme to be very inspirational.

ENGAGING

Let me tell you, the forum was hoping. There were holiday handles, random dice rolls, and raffle tickets to pass out.

VARIETY

I loved the variety in the games and interactions. Nothing like raffles, handles, dice rolls, merit badges, and other acts of kindness to spread cheer. Well done!

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Again, great use of WDC ML to grow some holiday cheer!

PARTING THOUGHTS

As I mentioned before, I found the message forum really inspirational. Webbie makes it easy to understand what is needed to participate in the fun. Can't wait til she opens it back up again! I would recommend that members visit any time of the year just to leave a hello and let Webbie know how much is appreciated here at WDC.

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#4746707

Review of The Witch's House

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

GAMES OF THRONES COMMUNITY GROUP REVIEW

This is a review for "The Witch's House"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE COMMUNITY GROUP

This Group is Webbie's House. There's a lot of good stuff to do and see.

WHAT I LIKED

I can't believe I haven't made it to the Witch's House before! I loved how cozy and welcoming it was. Theres's a lot of graphics which adds personality to the group and the sections are well defined.

ENGAGING

There's a link to the Witch's Garden which invites visitors over to explore. Can you imagine what a witch would grow in her garden?

. The House has 9 members.

VARIETY

Here in the House, Webbie also lists her exclusive merit badges which look like a fabulous collection to collect! Also, the House has an exclusive Awardicon offering.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Great use of WDC ML and graphics to set a welcoming tone to the WDC Community.

PARTING THOUGHTS

Webbie is a good little witch and I love how she is so inviting and welcome. Her mission is clearly stated, "I love doing little acts of kindness and unexpected gifting around the site." If you have an opportunity, check out the Witch's House. It just might be fun being a witch!

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#4745970

Review of Against the Unknown

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

GAMES OF THRONES POEM REVIEW

This is a review for "Against the Unknown"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE POEM

A mystery about an abandoned home that stirs the reader's imagination.

WHAT I LIKED

I really enjoyed the word play in this poem. The author has to use some mandatory phrases per the prompt, but does an excellent job weaving them into a poem that stirs the imagination. Reader finds several signs of abandonment, from a lonely dog, to the salt tipped over to the haunting wind chimes and a full mailbox. Things that make you go um....?

STRUCTURE

This is a poem with four quatrains. The 1st and 2nd along with the 3rd and 4th lines rythme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML to make it easy on the reader's eyes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I especiallyliked: "The sound of wind chimes, a haunting refrain, a melody lost in the whispering rain." -- what a great visual, that only sets a vivid scene in the reader's imagination, but also stirs their curiosity.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title piques the reader's interest but I don't know how representative it is of the mystery presented in the poem. The opening stanza grabs the reader's interest. An interesting mystery indeed!

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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#4745969

Review of Mystery in the Rafters

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.0)

GAMES OF THRONES STORY REVIEW

This is a review for "Mystery in the Rafters"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

The business has a cost overrun and it's up to Hamilton to figure out why.

WHAT I LIKED

I loved the ending. Didn't quite picture that.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Hamilton. Good job with narration. If anything I would suggest a minor edit for tense. The opening starts in the past tense and shift between past and present.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "I follow the bread crumbs to the false ceiling..." -- What I liked about this description is how I feel I'm following along right with Hamilton, curious, and determine to get to the root of the mystery.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: computer chip manufacturing facility

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Mr. Hamilton

I loved Hamilton from the start. He's overworked, probably underpaid, a tad stressed, and yet he's the best guy to find the cost overrun.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. When you have quotes, put the period inside the quotes. For example: "start with the basics."

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. A satisfying read!

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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#4745346

Review of The Survivor of Gilligan's Island

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

GAMES OF THRONES FAN FICTION REVIEW

This is a review for "The Survivor of Gilligan's Island"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE FAN FICTION

A cross between Survivor and Gilligan's island - who can outwit, outlast, and outplay Mr. Howell the money man?

WHAT I LIKED

I picked this item because I loved Gilligan's Island and I love Survivor, and of course I wanted to see who would make it into the final 2. This was just a fun little piece that I enjoyed!

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

THEME

The theme is: who is going to be the last one "survivor" on Gillian island and it ain't Gilligan - he's too nice. There's a little ruthlessness involved, but ultimately the person who deserves to win, wins.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The fan fiction is easy to read.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title is a great fit for the fan fiction and the opening hooked me right away. What a hoot! I really enjoyed reading this and I laughed and smiled as I read it. What a fun item to find in the author's port. My suggestion for what it's worth: If anything, I suppose you could grow this out more with 1K or less entries on each "challenge" and who wins.

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HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews"

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#4745340

Review of Royal Caribbean's Adventure of the Seas

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

GAMES OF THRONES MEMIOR REVIEW

This is a review for "Royal Caribbean's Adventure of the Seas"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE MEMOIR

The author takes us on a fun cruise to the Caribbean.

WHAT I LIKED

I picked this item because I'm going on a cruise in May - the first one since 2005, and I wanted to get a sense of what it would be like. I'm glad I read this, because I got a good feel of what to expect. I appreciated the pictures, if anything I wish they were just a tad bigger! Pout!!

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

THEME

Well, I gotta theme everything. haha. I would say the theme here is traveling. Even if you've never cruised before, you'll learn a lot about cruising and what to expect from the food service, visiting the different places and excursions to what a 'key' is and the upgraded packages.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

After I was done reading this memoir, I wanted to go on a Caribbean cruise!! I'm saving my money for cruising when I hit retirement. I could tell from the conversational tone of the writing the author had a blast and I'm so glad she shared her experience with us!

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HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews"

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#4745321

Review of Unexpected Caller

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

GAMES OF THRONES POEM REVIEW

This is a review for "Unexpected Caller "

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

A man's voice whispered into a phone receiver: "Tonight she dies," but the person on the other end is sure it's not for her.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the story flowed. It was easy to read and grew the tension well regarding the mystery.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by a female narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "One of the ways that serial killers and other criminal types hid bodies was to feed them to the cute farm animals because their razor sharp teeth would ensure that nobody was able to find them." -- It's a great description using a good economy of words to tell what happens to a victim without being overly graphic.

SETTING

TIME: contemporary setting 80's or 90's
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that isn't especially clarified for the reader. If anything, hardly anyone uses a "classic" phone with a receiver, so I would clarify that a little as I thought the story would take place in the 80's or 90's.

CHARACTERS

Female narrator

After hearing an accidental threat, she goes looking for the police.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctaution mistakes. I might suggest spelling out "OK" as "okay" in creative writing.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title fits in well with the story. The opening hooks the reader right away. If anything, I was a little confused near the ending and who the wife, ex-wife was?

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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#4745318

Review of Worm Moon

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

GAMES OF THRONES POEM REVIEW

This is a review for "Worm Moon"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

When a red quartz relic is found, Miss Harris is on the hunt to find out where it came from and what it was used for.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending, because I was totally lost and the ending gave the vinyettes context.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient in 3 vinyettes that tie-in together. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "As you know, during a total lunar eclipse, the Earth moves between the sun and the moon and cuts off the moon's light supply, the sun. When this happens, the moon's surface takes on a reddish glow instead of going completely dark." - it's a very succient description of a lunar eclipse that's easy to understand and visualize in the reader's imagination.

SETTING

TIME: ancient times and modern day
PLACE: college setting and outdoors

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Miss Harris is the main character

In that she does the research to offer a viable theory for the red quartz.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for WDC tags.
Currently: 100,000 years font:verdana}older than the I would correct the tag.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I think the title fits with the theme of the "moon" but I would clarify how worm fits in the story. The opening engages the reader. I enjoyed how the vinyettes came together in the end.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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#4745307

Review of Fairy’s Favor

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

GAMES OF THRONES POEM REVIEW

This is a review for "Fairy’s Favor"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE POEM

A little girl loses her tooth and can't wait for the tooth fairy to come!

WHAT I LIKED

This poem captures all the excitement of the tooth fairy - it lessens the pain of losing the tooth for sure and captures all the fun of hiding the tooth in anticipation of a BIG reward in the morning. It's upbeat and uplifting.

STRUCTURE

This is a poem with ten quaterns. The 1st and 2nd along with the 3rd and 4th lines rythme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. The rythme scheme allows for nice, rich emotional beats.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "A tiny fairy, real phenom, She sat sulking on Mommy's palm." What a great visual! I can easily picture this in my imagination. I'm sure the tooth fairy was pretty mad at getting caught.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title fits the poem. The opening lures the reader in with a nice rythme scheme and keeps them reading. There are twists and turns - especially when the tooth fairy gets busted. A whimsical children's poem that would make a great "Dr. Suess" like children's book.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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#4745302

Review of Consolation

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

GAMES OF THRONES POEM REVIEW

This is a review for "Consolation"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

It takes a lot to make Charcoal Charlie, a kangaroo, happy.

WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the voice used in this short story. With a hint of whimsy, and bit of distain, Charcoal Charlie tries to adapt to his new habitat but it's not the same as the bush.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited from Charlie's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a nice blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Phooey!" Charlie thought. "She clings to Joey like a sloth to a tree. Foolish woman." -- Great description of Mommy Miranda as she keeps an eye on Joey, but also hints at Charlie's personality. Well done.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: zoo on in the States on the Pacific Coast.

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Charcoal Charlie

It's tough being a kangaroo in a zoo, but there's one that will make Charlie happy...

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The story is easy to read.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. I was ready to follow Charlie's adventures from the first sentence! The story will put a grin on the reader's face. I could easily see this story as a children's book.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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#4744971

Review of Petals of love!

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

GAMES OF THRONES POEM REVIEW

In conjunction with:

This is a review for "Petals of love!"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE POEM

Heat and Cold combine along with the visual of a flower opening to hit on the different notes of yearning and love.

WHAT I LIKED

Really nice word play with the poem! With the heat and cold we have polar opposites finding attraction under the silver moon with the use of the flower providing the romantic elements.

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "...Ebbing waves of love makes me warm with your thoughts! Chilly wind penetrates my skin and makes me yearn within!" -- We have hot and cold coming together, hitting on notes of longing and yearning for the partner.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title fits the poem well. The opening line engages the reader, hinting that the little petals of the flower will grow and bloom much like the emotion of love does. A poem that it's visuals hint at a deeper, emotionally romantic meaning, such as finding first love or true love.

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#4744967

Review of Girl's Write Out

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

GAMES OF THRONES STORY REVIEW

This is a review for "Girl's Write Out"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

Lena needs her muse to focus on poetry and not gussing her up.

WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the character voice. Chloe came across a flighty must with determination to do the right thing by her writer and Lena came across as a determined writer wanting to find balance with Chloe.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Lena. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "dress in something that actually flatters you, and discover a hairstyle. Geez, Lena!" We get a great visual of Lena using a good economy of words.

SETTING

TIME: modern day?
PLACE: not sure? A Writer's house?

This is something that isn't necessarily clarified for the reader, but I don't think it needs to be. The piece is a vinyette is more focused on comedic bets.

CHARACTERS

Lena

She's a writer, but she needs her muse to play along.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of spacing here on WDC to make it easier on the reader's eyes. The vinyette is easy to read.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I liked the title a lot and I thought it captured the essence of the quirkiness between Chloe and Lena. The opening engages the reader in a nice conversational tone. A comedic read that make one think on a slightly deeper level.

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#4744955

Review of Motherhood

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

GAMES OF THRONES STORY REVIEW

In conjunction with:

This is a review for "Motherhood"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

A raw, gritty look at the emotional toll motherhood can take on the psyche.

WHAT I LIKED

While not necessarily a heartwarming read, the vinyette focuses on places a majority of mothers have been, that raw, gritty place that has them facing their actions and wondering is it enough? And it's in these moments that we find our inner courage and strength to continue one task at a time.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by the narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked; "Tears fell into her pillow, silent tears she only shed at night when she knew nobody would see or hear them." -- The description tugs on the emotional heartstrings of the reader.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: quite house at night

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Narrator, mother

Mom is bone tired. Finding inner strength and courage will come slowly at first with small tasks.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title fits for the story, but can be expanded on to be a tad more reflective of the emotional beats the story produces. The opening engages the reader, who hopes for a positive outcome. A well done, emotional vinyette.

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#4744419

Review of The Town Watcher

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

GAMES OF THRONES STORY REVIEW

In conjunction with:

This is a review for "The Town Watcher"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

Millicent is a tad older, not much to do, so she heads to the stone bench to watch the busy town around her.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the characterization. Millicent is quite a character with her own quirky ways, but aren't we all a little quirky?

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Millicent unpacked her cavernous tote bag, the one with all the handy pockets." The author uses a good economy of words to paint a great visual in my imagination. I pictured an older lady, a little bored, with a tote bag so big you could put just about anything in it.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: local town

This is something that that is clarified for the reader. I pictured a mid size town where everybody just about knows everybody. It makes the story more personal.

CHARACTERS

Millicent

She's a people watcher. Nothing wrong with that, but sometimes you might see stuff you don't want to see.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title fits the story. The opening had me hooked with it's comedic beat. Nice conversational character voice. This is a story that will make the reader smile at the end.

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#4744417

Review of MATCHBOX UNDIES

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

GAMES OF THRONES STORY REVIEW

In conjunction with:

This is a review for "MATCHBOX UNDIES"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

A girl and her Barbie have a lot in common except for...

WHAT I LIKED

I picked the story because of the title. Then I read the tag line and I said I had to read this one - it sounds like a hoot! And it was! I enjoyed it very much.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by a female narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Being understandably minuscule and almost microscopic ,of Barbie-doll proportions, the lingerie would have to be smaller than a thimble; perhaps nickel-sized, dime-sized?" -- I could easily visualize this in my imagination.

SETTING

TIME: contemporary - 1960's
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Female narrator & Barbie

Our narrator loves her Barbie doll and there's nothing with that. Barbie and the narrator have a lot of adventures - to include clothing adventures.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. A fun story with several comedic beats that will make one laugh.

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#4744290

Review of GOOD STUFF!

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

GAMES OF THRONES STORY REVIEW

This is a review for "GOOD STUFF!"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

Dude's wife is really ill, but in the course of the monologue you discover he hasn't quite been the best of husbands to her.

WHAT I LIKED

I was chuckling the whole time I was reading this. Dude has been "too good" to his wife, but we learn he hadn't been good enough.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by the husband. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue is spot on perfect and hilarious, which drives home the comedy.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "On our wedding night you stayed up until morning shooting craps with your two buddies in our apartment." It not only sets up a vivid picture in the imagination, but also an emotional one. Don't you want to be with your wife on your wedding night instead of playing craps?

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: Dude's home

This is something that that is clarified for the reader. Being a monologue, sometimes it's hard to establish time and place, but there's enough established here that helps to sell the story.

CHARACTERS

Husband

Honestly, he's a wreck. A comedic wreak.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I think you have to read the story to see how the title ties-in and it's more of an ironic tie-in. The opening made me laugh and kept me reading. I picture a comic stand-in routine with this vinyette. Thanks for the laughs!

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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#4744261

Review of NURSERY RHYMES

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

GAMES OF THRONES STORY REVIEW

This is a review for "NURSERY RHYMES"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

There are two seemingly unrelated murders, but are they? The obvious isn't so obvious and believe it or not, a parrot holds the clue!

WHAT I LIKED

I loved the methodical detective work done by Danny. Everything he did was logical and in a precise order.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Danny. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue accents the narration well.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Comfortable in his blue jeans, and St. Lawrence Isles Police t-shirt, he leaned back in his chair and silently reviewed his notes again." The author uses a good economy of words to describe our detective.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: at a local resort

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Danny

Danny is determined and that's what I like about him.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title fits the story well. The opening was a quick description of our detective and then it gets into the crime. It hooks you quick and keeps you reading!

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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#4744126

Review of The Great Ship

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

GAMES OF THRONES STORY REVIEW

This is a review for "The Great Ship "

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

The Titanic is going down. The story takes a look at 3 different scenarios into how people handled the sinking of the ship.

WHAT I LIKED

I really think the vinyette format worked well here. We meet Joseph who is going to play "Nearer to God to Thee," but has never gotten it quite right, A young couple who wants to experience something they never have before, and a group of men drinking and smoking, as if that's all they can do as the ship sinks.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "The ship was now listing thirty degrees to starboard.." The author used a good economy of word to paint an accurate visual in the reader's imagination.

SETTING

TIME: 1912
PLACE: The Titantic

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Ensemble cast

There's enough here to understand each character's motivations. Joseph just wants an opportunity to get it right, Sophia and Teddy just want an experience they've never had, and the group of gentlemen decide to go down as gentlemen.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes. The story is easy to read.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader and sucks them in emotionally, putting us in the beginning of the sinking of the ship. The dramatic elements are played pitch-perfect. An emotional read that's well done.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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#4744123

Review of Bubba's Corner BBQ

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

GAMES OF THRONES STORY REVIEW

This is a review for "Bubba's Corner BBQ"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

A local gives a tourist directions to Bubba's Corner BBQ. Better have a receipt and a pen handy to write down where to go!

WHAT I LIKED

I loved the explanation as to why Bubba's wasn't on the corner. A hog got lose and tore through the BBQ, then... ah -- I'll let you check it out for a chuckle or two! It's a good thing I wasn't drinking any coffee at the time. I would have spit it out!

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue drives the story.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Bubba opened the back door, and it ran squarely into one of those big smokers he had back there." -- Great visual. I could easily picture this happening in my imagination.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

The narrator

The narrator is looking for directions, but I don't think they expected the directions they got.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easy to read on the eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader with the opening question: "Do you think you can tell me how to there from here?" A light read that will make you laugh.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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#4744114

Review of Bobby-Q

Review by StephBee - Hous...

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

GAMES OF THRONES POEM REVIEW

This is a review for "Bobby-Q"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE POEM

The poem gives directions to Bubba's Corner BBQ which has the best Bobby-Q ribs ever. I just hope I don't get lost!

WHAT I LIKED

Using a dialect is never easy and can be very challenging if you don't get it quite right. I thought this poem did a pretty descent job with the dialect. It was easy enough to read and understand and I appreciated that.

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme, but the poet does a good job with the dialect to give the poem a nice beat when it's read outloud.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. WDC ML is used to increase the font and make easy on the eyes to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "All t'way down Til ya'll git ta t'Cozy Cafe." That's a heck of a directional. I can just imagine finding the Cozy Cafe and scratching my head.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. A light-hearted poem about how to get to Bubba's. It had some comedic beats that will make the reader chuckle.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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