This is really entertaining and quite well-written. Your rhyming scheme is spot on and the story is concise and humorous. There's also a lesson with your great great uncle letting these boys throw rocks at a (somewhat innocent) cow: sometimes violence is not the answer :)
The cow's soft 'moo' at the end is priceless. I can only imagine your red faced uncle cursing at this wayward cow. Great ending.
My favorite lines were:
"Now the cow was unruly
And knocked over the pail
So Uncle decided
The cow was for sale"
I'm having some mixed feelings about this poem. I think the first few stanzas are beautiful, and the third is absolutely flawless. But then I feel that you took it in a direction that overplayed the metaphor. It became less subtle, more overtly hostile. While the sand and sea clash, they also have an eternal bond. But from how you worded it, it doesn't seem like your characters ever really had a solid bond.
I love the theme of this poem, it's very visual and does a fabulous job of showing rather than telling, there was just something about it I thought made it too transparent.
I'm not sure who you're friends with on FB, but I have not experienced similar problems.. just saying. Also, I like how you admit to being a 'stalker' although a well-adjusted one. :D
I definitely appreciate the condemnation of ignorant, fanatic anti-abortionists. I'm right with you there.
You have some good description here. I could certainly see what was happening in my mind. It could be a great piece with the proper editing. If I were you, though, I would look up the term "dangling participle", because it is a consistent issue throughout the piece.
It's hard to tell where this is going. You've got some good energy here, good description. But there isn't really enough to say "yes I enjoyed it" or "No I didn't". I feel like you should flesh it out, at least get to a some sort of break in the story before you have others review it!
So I am assuming by the auto-reward that you would like this reviewed, though I am kind of surprised considering the haste with which this story seems to have been written. I liked how fast paced it was, and some of the imagery was pleasing. In fact, those are pretty much the only reasons that I made it to the end. It is kind of an absurd plot, but not absurdist, if you get what I mean. Everything is kind of out-of-the-blue, and grammatical errors abound. I think if the ideas were developed a bit, and if the sentence structures were more complex, also without the abrupt transitions you would have a fine story on your hands. I was starting to see it as a children's story by the end, until the character slept with dracula, which is kind of a traditional adult theme (I guess it is a new century, though). In conclusion, this seems like a very rough draft.
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