Limericks Mk VIII

A CAUTIONARY TALE



A drunken truck driver named Morrie.

while driving a seven ton lorry,

ran red lights and “Stops”,

was picked up by the cops,

and tried to pretend he was sorry.



NEW TECHNOLOGY



My friend, Alexander McQueen

Invents things no-one’s ever seen.

A chocolate kettle

some pants made of metal

and a stop light that glows a bright green.





TAKE YOUR PICK (1)



We took a long walk to the mall,

one evening before the spring ball.

She needed a dress,

and some new shoes, I guess

a handbag and gloves, but THAT’S ALL!



TAKE YOUR PICK (2)



We took a long walk to the mall

Just me and a very close pal

We’d cuddle and kiss

It really was bliss

She’s a very affectionate gal.





EPILOGUE TO TAKE YOUR PICK (1)



My husband’s a grumpy old bear.

I think that he just doesn’t care.

I need a new dress,

this old one’s a mess,

and I must have some nice things to wear.



EPILOGUE TO TAKE YOUR PICK (2)



While hugging and kissing’s okay,

of course, at the end of the day

we took it too far,

and now her papa

wields a shotgun: I can’t get away.



THE PERILS OF ALCOHOL (1)



A very impetuous youth

got full up on gin and vermouth.

He behaved like a cad,

this foolish young lad

and he just couldn’t handle the truth.



THE PERILS OF ALCOHOL (2)



The truth was that he’d caused great pain

to his girlfriend, the lovely Lorraine.

They had a big fight

and she left him one night

with, “I don’t want to see you again.”