So Far Away

Why do I hurt so much for you?
Everything we've been through.
  Everything we've been through.
No one else has those memories but you n me.
  The good, the bad, and the ugly.

The aching reverberates from somewhere deep within.
  Somewhere only YOU have been.
The thought of never seeing you again.
  The thought of never seeing you again.

NEVER will I give myself so completely to ANYONE !!!     
                          NEVER
                    ever, ever, ever.

You hold my heart in the palm of your hand.
  No matter how I tried, I was never enough.
It's a wound
  I will never understand.

If you would have just let ME be ME
  You'd adore me
If you woulda let my spirit free!
  But now there's no more 'You & Me'
The true me, you will never see
  You were too busy talking shit
and trying to change the magick that is ME.

Why the fuck do I love you so much?
  You don't deserve it,
THAT'S 'REAL TALK'
  Why you think I gave you them papers to walk?

Try being in MY shoes
  and try loving YOU.
Haystack sand it best 'Hard to Love,' it's true.
  Everything we've been through.
Everything we've been through.

I never imagined the rest of my life
          without YOU
It's so fucking pathetic
  how I meant NOTHING to you!

But my heart won't shut the fuck up....it whispers "You know that's not true".

No matter how I surround myself
  with ideals that oppose you
my heart still aches every day
  and dies a little more, in a different way.

I wanna run
        so far away,
                      so far away
From this life
From these memories
From the games people play

I wanna run
        so far away,
                      so far away
That you'd never recognize me
  even on my best day

I wanna run
        so far away,
                      so far away
that there's no fuckin "Chance"
  you'd ever even run into me
and I'd never have to contemplate
  what you didn't say.

I wanna run
        so far away,
                      so far away
that I don't have to TRY n BE anything
  and I don't harbor the miserable hope of seeing you
                                        again one day.
I will just be ME for ME
  whatever come what may.

I wanna run
          so far away
                      so fast
that my heart could never possibly catch up
  and my memories of you
                        are left in the past.
With every step
  a memory to melt
with every step
  pain no longer ever to be felt.

Don't you EVER bother thinking of me!
Don't you EVER bother missing me!
  When I was by your side
      "Ride or Die"
on the curb you always left me.
After all this wasted time
  you still don't know what it's like to truly know ME!
By my side was the greatest place
  you could ever hope to be!

The memories we have
  tainted by distrust and jealousy
Ingredients you added to 'us'
  with shit you accused me to be
tryin to justify the shit you think I didn't see.

You always had to knock me down
  to make yourself secure
in your imaginary crown.
Don't bother wishin', hopin' or lookin' for me.
You can rot
  by yourself 
    ALONE
in this fucked up town.

I ran so far away
            so far away....

....away from you is where I shall stay.

And my heart will breath again....eventually....someday.