The Wabasha Wham-Bamm Porker

Day 1 prompt:THE WABASHA STREET CAVES, St. Paul, MN: During Prohibition, the caves hosted delinquent dignitaries such as John Dillinger and Ma Barker at its speakeasy, but not everyone left dancing the Charleston. The caves are said to be haunted by three gangsters who were massacred in a back room and buried under the cement floors. Owner Donna Bremer says her employees and guests have seen figures dressed in suits from the '20s, and strange mists float through the halls. A ghost bartender refills wine glasses and the apparition of a madam named Nina Clifford appears -- and disappears -- in full period costume.


There once was an old coot named Hormy
Who fancied “porking" at a certain hotel
The bars hidden there could be gittin’ to
by movin’ a chair and ringing a bell
Hormy would drink, but ‘twas mostly a slurp
Then pounded his chest to release a huge burp
The buxom owner of the caves
dropped her shirt in his face
And the bar stool spun ‘round in its place.
A shoot-out began with three ornery men
Or was it two men and a beast?
For a woman, she could really pass for ‘em
They were all covered-up in the dust of concrete
looking for something porky to eat,
Some kinds of meat unnaturally beat,was
certainly high on the list.
Add the gelatin too, and let it giggle,
Wiggle and dance with a jazzy jiggle
‘cause there’s always room for that to eat.
Mr. Horny-Mel he was gettin’ all a-panicked -
so much so, his tongue could not speak,
But with a ghost pouring his spirits, his tongue got loosed,
Then he yelled out as his lips he done licked
“This is the last straw -- I won’t accept more,
I won’t take such shit
No,not even for tits!"
With that diatribe said quite-neat
The man took a stand, and got off his seat
He looked at the floor and pissed on his feet
And proclaimed he couldn’t get nookie



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