Tongue in cheek solution to ENS-Empty Nest Syndrome...for a contest |
With empty nest approaching and wing-feathers preened and strong my children all were worried about their single mom. āOh Iāll be fineā I said. āOh, I will be just great.ā And so off from the nest they flew, in such a hurry, they couldnāt wait! The peace that night was golden; classical music reigned I didnāt trip over their stuff on the floor, no voices over the TV strained. But Iāll admit- much later- when I was in bed My thoughts were assailed and I was numb with dread. A month went by and I didnāt hear so much as a word from children dear. No letter, no postcard, no phone call or email, my mind started wondering if they all were in jail. āNo news is good news,ā my friends all said, but my motherās mind had them all dead. or worse and of course when I finally heard from them one by one, by phone call or word-- They all were fine out on their own. Theyād gotten apartments, internet, phone. They were learning first hand to turn out the lights, To clean up their messes, to take delight In jobs well done and chores not assigned, In setting alarms to be places on time. Managing money, making clear choices, Calling me now with worried young voices. āYou ok mom? Weāve not heard a wordā¦ Are you still alive?ā (Are they absurd?) Are you lonely without us? Are you getting out? Are eating right? Whatās this silence about?ā Should I tell them that in their absence Iāve found That a dog solves the problem of their not being around? That Iāve named the dog after one of my brood? Would they be offended? Would they think it rude? Shall I tell them I take the dog for long walks And we snuggle at night and have marvelous talks? That I pick up her toys and Iāve taught her to sit And then thereās housebreaking, the potty-train bit! I have someone now, I again can say āNo!ā Course the puppy doesnāt obey any better though. But she doesnāt tie up the phone for hours Or hog the computer or take endless showers. Sheās a marvelous editor, never finds a mistake, Never thinks plotlines are boring or fake. She likes my poetry, doesnāt complain, Goes to bed when sheās told to, and likes to play in the rain. So I no longer have an empty nest And after the kids, I think my dog is the best! Iām thinking about maybe getting a catā One pet per kid and that will be that! |