Keep Your Enemies Close...

Keep your Enemies Close And Your Sisters Closer

by GeminiGem of House Lannister


“This is the first year that involved bloodshed, but all in all I think they came out pretty good.”

I had just handed out my annual family photo Christmas cards to my co-workers. Susan was new in our department, and this was the first time she had received a card from me. I always brought copies of the previous years’ pictures because people really liked seeing how the family and the pictures change over the years. She had heard about them, however, and wanted to know more about the history behind the pictures.

“Did you say...bloodshed?” said Susan.

“Well, very minimal bloodshed. Maximum hurt feelings.”

“Is it like that every year?”

“No, there was a time when this was a fairly simple and combat-free operation.”

As she looked at the past years Susan said, “Wow, these have really changed over the years.”

I looked at the long line of photos and wondered how we had gone from a simple family photo 18 years ago to a yearly family photo production complete with the drama.

We started out simply enough. The first year, the photo had everybody sitting in a nice, tidy group. Everyone was calm, and no one got hurt. We did absolutely no advance planning.

My finger tapped the picture at the top of the column. “This was the first one we did. It lacks a little in composition, but it really is beautiful in its simplicity. At the time, just getting a picture taken with everyone together and mostly looking in the same direction seemed like a monumental victory. It was a big hit with family, friends and co-workers.”

“And this one?” Susan asked, pointing to the next one in line.

“The next year we did a little planning and had everybody wearing one matching piece of clothing. Still a simple enough concept.”

“And still combat-free?”

“That’s right. We made two fatal mistakes the year after that,” I said. “The first mistake was that we did the family photo for the third year in a row. This established a precedence, and locked us into this yearly torture for the unforeseeable future.”

“Oh wait, I bet I know what the other mistake was,” Susan laughed. “Year three is when your pictures started getting more elaborate.”

“You got that right. Once we incorporated a theme, there was no going back. The card recipients would not be satisfied with a nice, calm unplanned family photo.”

“So what happened this year? Things got a little crazy?”

“You could say that,” I said, nodding my head. My husband and I work as a team. He takes all the pictures while I keep the props where they need to be, pose the kids, and try to get everyone to look at the camera at the same time. This year’s theme was ‘Christmas vacation on the beach’. I had to keep the tropical-looking drinks from getting spilled, the sunglasses in place, and the lifeguard in her chair.

“That does look like a lot of work.”

I nodded. "Right in the middle of this photo shoot, somebody got into somebody else’s space, and it suddenly turned into a Friday Night Smack Down! It all happened so fast that we didn't really see how it all began. All I know is that my props were flying all over the place, and it was complete chaos. I had to move in and break up the fight before the set was completely ruined. Luckily, nobody was seriously hurt.”

“So what did you do?”

“I reassembled the set, but at this point, everyone was in a bad mood.” I laughed. “We bravely soldiered on because we had to get it done. Smile for the camera! Grandma and Grandpa in Wisconsin are waiting eagerly for their Christmas picture from our family!”

I am already dreading this year’s Christmas picture.

                                                                               

In the interest of full disclosure, you should click on the links below. You will see the first family picture taken in 1997,
and then the latest picture, taken in 2013.


Christmas 1997 ▼

L to R back row: Indigo, Samantha, Tempest, Sparky Barky, BoBo
         front row: Pepperoni, Gemini, Keebler, Sara Lee, Angel

Christmas 2013 ▼

L to R: Nibbler, Tamale Schnitzel, Caramel, Basil

word count 682