What if

Once again to relive the night mare! What if …, numerous assumptions just send a shiver down my spine and I desperately waited for the seconds to fly. 

I vaguely remember returning home with my mother.  The place was dimly lit and so we walked carefully.  Though mother wore slippers, she felt a sudden prick on her leg.  After we reached home, she started to complain dizziness.  She could not recall any incident of bite.  Within ten minutes, a taxi arrived and dad took her directly to the government hospital.  His presence of mind took her to the government hospital rather than to the family doctor. 

The home looked desolate and I could feel emptiness within four walls.  My young heart realized her importance. Number of stories about young children without a mother stressed me. More than thirty minutes went by.  My younger siblings though felt hungry did not know if it would be right to ask for the dinner.  One of the relatives from next door peeped in to see what we were doing.  “Your mother will come. Serve them food.” She asked me to serve the dinner.

The younger one started to sleep sitting on the sofa.  By God’s grace mother arrived around 10 pm.  She served us food and we all went to bed immediately. Later I learned that she was bit by some poisonous snake and she was lucky to get the doze of injection at the right time that saved her for us.  What if… beyond imagination.       

A similar incident happened when my daughter was in her second grade. A bubbly child, every day she would sweep in front of the house, sprinkle water and then draw kolam of her choice. That day also she did the same thing.  After bath, I helped her wear her uniform. She complained itchiness on her hand and then on her stomach.  I applied talcum powder guessing it may be due to the extreme heat. 

She returned home in the evening with red patches on her hands and legs.  Her eyes were red and watery.  The pediatrician suspected some spider bite and gave some medicine. Meanwhile her lips became swollen along with her right eyelid.  A shudder went down my spine that made me shiver. What if… beyond imagination. 

One more to count! Still I could feel the level of stress that made my heart beat frantically. In answer to my sister’s desperate call, I left cooking incomplete and rushed to the hospital.  The auto driver went in the opposite direction to some other hospital.  Half way through I realized it and asked him where he was taking me. With an apology, after 20 minutes he took me to the hospital.

The caretakers had taken my mother for preparation procedures before her surgery. Unmindful, the stout lady used hot boiling water to give the stomach wash.  Hell started to broke loose for my mother.  She wreathed restless on the hospital bed.

After waiting for more than four hours in an empty stomach, there came the twist. Due to some reasons, my mother’s surgery for uterus prolapse got postponed. After she went through pre-operative preparation procedures, someone informed that the surgery stood postponed. 

Vagueness setting in, I felt my tensed seconds mercilessly stretched. The caregivers who did the preparation procedures rarely had the heart to consider and never failed to treat the patients like lab specimens. 
Still now I painfully remember my mother in her surgery robes.  My eyes turned blurry when the nurse walked her to the operation theater. Another one hour went by in prayers and desperate wait.

Around 11 am, they wheeled her into the room.  Initially, the pulse rate went low and the doctor had to rush from the operation theater.  Four hours post-operation I listened patiently to her moans and groans. What if… beyond imagination.