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Partly a parody of the classic but also wildly different |
| [Introduction]
This story takes place in the Oz of books and movies. There is no technology like spaceships or time machines, but there is magic like witches and flying brooms. Vehicles are pulled by horses or powered by steam. In some ways, it is a steampunk environment. Oz is an island continent (like Australia  ) and the cities have names like Emerald, Diamond, Topaz, etc.Characters, in order of appearance... Larry the Lizard ... a piano player at the Sparkle Club Dorothy Kansas ... an investigator for the Emerald City News Lence ... a giant magnifying glass who is part of the Clock Tower Babsy ... a 13-year-old Black Rhinoceros Bolder Lion ... son of Dandy Lion (The Cowardly Lion) Jack Newsworthy ... editor of the Emerald City News Timothy "Tin Man" Thomas ... a police detective Princess Ozma ... the royal ruler of Oz Woofy Malone ... a dog man, supposedly the grandson of Dorothy and Toto Nyx ... a Night Ghast, a shadow Gnome King ... Oswald Hawthengill Groane, king of the gnomes Theodora ... the wicked witch of the west Evandora ... the wicked witch of the east Burnsy ... a grasshopper man, half brother of Babsy Busty ... mother of Babsy Glenda ... the good witch Eclipse ... a Night Ghast, the "mate" of Nyx Bink and Dink ......... lion cubs Lilly Lioness ...... mother of Bink and Dink Jelly and Jam ... bear cubs Honey Bear ... mother of Jelly and Jam Summer, Winter, Redtail, Kit ..... baby animals Felonius Fox, Wendy Wolf ... parents Boozy ... husband of Busty Mombi ... another witch The Fates ... Dog, Rabbit, Hawk, Pigeon CHAPTERS (clickable links) ..... 1: The Stolen Relics ..... 2: The Gnome King and the Jester ..... 3: The Naked Fat Man ..... 4: The Night Ghasts ..... 5: Mombi's Plan |
| Outside, the dayshift was ending on the clock tower. The upper part of the building seemed to come apart, as clock, magnifying glass, gears, and guard-rail, stood up, stretched, and began the long trek back down the huge green monument. As Lence the giant magnifying descended, trading small talk with the rest of the shift, he reflected both some of the sunlight, and on how lucky it was that the clock tower only had three full-sized chronos; otherwise, he wouldn't have to stand there all day bringing the fourth up to full size with his head. And as he walked home on spindly legs, someone stumbled into him from behind. "Hey you!" An ant in a checked shirt stood glaring at him, two arms folded, two on hips. "You! I hate magnifying glasses! Your lot killed my sister!" Lence drew himself up to his full height opposite the aggressive creature, even as his monocle fell out and dangled on its chain. "Now, see here, I have never met your sister's acquaintance, and while I am sorry for your loss, I do not believe it fair or at all reasonable to-" As Lence stood up, a stray beam of light flashed through his body, focussing onto the ant and vaporizing him on the spot. "Gah!" The insect yelled just once, as if it wanted only really to yell 'not again!'. Lence stared at the pile of ash he had created for a moment in guilty stupefaction, before carefully dusting it into a corner with his foot and carrying on. Didn't see anything, didn't see anything... |
| Babsy was a Black Rhinoceros, who had formerly lived in the Forests of Oz, but like many of the Young Animals of Oz decided she wanted to live like people. When she was just 13 (Animals age differently in Oz then they do in the normal world) Babsy started making clothes for herself out of leaves, she tried waking on two legs, that initially didn't work out so well, but she slowly started getting better at it, then she started hanging out with Human Teenagers. Her parents didn't approve of this, they gave her the cold shoulder, but Babsy just decided to head to Emerald City and live like a Human. Now she's the Librarian for the Emerald City Public Library. Babsy was in her room, eating a butter biscuit and drinking some tea when there was a knock on the door... |
| It was Bolder Lion, son of Dandy Lion(The Cowardly Lion). "Babsy," he said, "I don't know who else to turn to but something happened at Queen Ozma's castle," Babsy asked "What happened Bolder?" Bolder bowed his head in shame "The ruby slippers and the broom of the Wicked Witch of the West were stolen from the display case." |
| Babsy's mouth dropped open. "Oh no!" "I know," Bolder said. "It's like sacred relics being stolen." Dorothy Kansas was at the meeting with editor Jack Newsworthy and the other reporters. "I want in depth coverage!" Jack said. "I want the stories behind the story. I want the human angle. I want all the news that's fit to print!" "You'll get it, chief!" Dorothy said, pumping her fist. There was nothing more exciting than the news business. Detective Timothy "Tin Man" Thomas studied the statements given by the servants of Princess Ozma. "One of them is lying," he muttered. "No way these items could be stolen without inside help." Princess Ozma lay across her big four poster bed, crying. "Oh, the shame! The shame!" |
| Lence was almost home when he heard the news. "Quick! Come quick!" A teakettle whistled, next to a bored looking police-frog putting up a notice. "The ruby slippers! They've been stolen! Ruby slipers! Stolen from the palace!" "Oh no!" Cried a lizard dressed like a chimney-sweep, hands on head, tail shot out like a ram-rod. He froze like that, thoughts visibly making the trek down his face to escape his mouth. "Wait... Besides the fact that they're, well, they're made of rubiea, what's so valuable about them?" "Because, my good man," Lence coughed, feeling obliged to explain as the crowd gathered. "They are magical." A nude baby fluttered by on dove wings as he said the word, strumming an ivory harp . Lence swatted at the infantile aerial annoyance irritably. Angels; the pigeons of Emerald City. "If someone were to get hold of the Witch's cursed and evil slippers," He went on. "Then they could perform all great and sundry variety of nefarious and mischievous... Mischief, with them." He trailed off rather lamely. It seemed to satisfy the mob members listening in, however. "Some'ow, we gotta get those slippers back!" |
| "What do we do in the meantime?" someone asked. "Get your Replica Red Ruby Slippers, replicas of the ones worn by the Wicked Witch Herself!" shouted a salesman. "And with every purchase of a set of Replica Red Ruby Slippers, we'll throw in this Replica Witch Broom, a replica of the one the Wicked Witch Herself used!" Suddenly, a rotting cabbage was tossed at the salesman, knocking him out cold. "I guess that's the Death of that Salesman's business," said the one person. "Next time, we toss rotting tomatoes," whispered someone else in the crowd. |
| Babsy meanwhile, got another letter from her parents demanding she come home to the forest and give up living like a Human. Babsy felt herself grow sick and she lay down on her sofa, she started to dream. She dreamed of someone flying over the ocean with the Broom, she couldn't see the Person clearly, just that this Person was very tall. She woke up when she felt she couldn't breathe, damn Rhino sinuses |
| The palace is under investigation as lawmen in green uniforms investigate the crime scene, broken glass litter the floor near the display case near a statue of a farm girl holding a basket with a Cairn Terrier by her side. The plaque under it says "The heroin of Oz." "We need to find clues, if we don't get those magic relic back, who knows what danger they would unleash." The police chief says. "Anything I could help?" The chief looks up and sees.. |
| A large shaggy dog man was standing there. The chief did a double take. "Did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like the legendary Toto." "I should," the dog man said. "He was my grandfather." "Toto had descendants? Then the gossip is true?" "That farm girls aren't too picky about who they mate with? I'm saying nothing about that, chief. Let's keep the history of Oz clean enough for school kids to enjoy." The police chief nodded agreement. "But you think you might be able to help?" "I have to help," the dog man said. "Those relics are important to me as much as to anyone. They must be returned. It's a family thing." "Then I'll keep you informed about the investigation." Later, when the chief was discussing the case with Detective Tin Man Thomas, the Tin Man said, "I know that guy! That's Woofy Malone! He's been peddling that grandson-of-Dorothy-and-Toto story for years." "So, it's all a scam?" "I didn't say that," said the Tin Man. "It could be true, but it's a story nobody wants to believe." "I hear you. When the truth hurts, ignore it." |
| At home -a broad shelf sticking out over the street on 347nth- Lence was polishing himself off. It was nice, being able to take a bath even when in full view of the city, but there other advantages to being a magnifying glass besides that. As he gently scrubbed away the the dust, humming tunelessly, a silhouette registered in the corner of his eye. A stumpy person with a big pointy thing on their head, seemingly carrying a broom. A witch! He nearly fell off his porch in surprise, instead pulling back against the wall, shaking. A witch! If he made his way down the shelf, he could look down right on her and see if she'd taken the Slippers. Fullproof. A flock of angels buzzed past as he snuck along the wood towards his quarry, glad that the other tenants were all out. |
| Who stole the slippers and the broom? In the night there was a being, black as a shadow, and she was a shadow. She made the museum totally dark so no one could see anything. She stole the slippers and the broom. Slipping the slippers on her shadow feet, she hopped on the broom and flew out of Oz, to the Land of Ev. The Shadow's name was Nyx, she was a Night Ghast, one of the last few members of the First Species that inhabited the Earth, even before the first Plants and Animals. Nyx hopped into a dark cave before the rays of the dawn could destroy her, and rushed to her boss, the Gnome King "Boss! Boss!" Exclaimed Nyx "I got the Slippers and the Broom!" |
| The Gnome King says "Excellent, soon we'll resurrect both sisters, Theodora's broom and Evanora's slippers and Oz will soon bow to the forces of darkness." (Author's note: both names are from Oz, the great and powerful. The story on how the wizard came to Oz. Theodora is the wicked witch of the west and Evandora is the wicked witch of the east.) |
| "I did good, didn't I?" Nyx said. "Yes, you did," said the Gnome King. "What's my reward?" "Your reward? Hmmm... I thought you were just doing your duty." The Night Ghast became even darker than he already was and seemed to swell in size. "I owe no duty to you, old man!" "You seem to forget that it's the gnomes who are keeping others from destroying your habitat." "My habitat! My habitat! You gnomes come prancing in here with your college words acting like you own the planet. The Night Ghasts existed before there were ever any gnomes. We are the First Species!" "That's true," said the Gnome King, "but when it comes to evolution, being first gives you no special privileges. If it did, then dragonflies and cockroaches would rule the planet. Just be glad the gnomes think kindly of the Night Ghasts and I thank you very much for obtaining the slippers and the broom." |
| " 'Their Night Ghasts' ?" Shouted Nyx, incredulous. "What makes us 'your' Night Ghasts? I went through a lot of trouble to get these, and by Jove, I demand a reward for them!" |
| "How about your life?" said the Gnome King. "Keep a civil tongue in your head, or I'll kill you myself!" |
| Woofy Malone watched the tape from the security camera, and sees who took the broom and slippers "A night ghast? Why would a night ghast want with these relics? The slippers Dorothy wore during her trip to Oz and the broom she brought back after killing the Wicked witch of the west." His pawlike hand rubs his jaw as he thinks. |
| Finally a light bulb clicked on over Woofy's head. "Magic," he said. Detective Tin Man Thomas looked up from the monitor where he also had been playing the security recording over and over. "What?" "Magic. Someone wants to work magic with the relics." "What kind of magic?" "How should I know?" Woofy said. "I'm not a witch. Call Glenda. She might know." "I hate to bother her unless it's a real emergency." "So?" Woofy said. "How do we know what these relic stealers are planning to do? It could be very serious." "You're right," Tin Man said. "I'll have to go to to Munchkinville. The Munchkins are the only ones with a reliable communications link to Glenda. Want to come with me?" "What are we waiting for?" |
| In another part of the city, Lence leaped straight down, landing squarely in front of the witch. "Surprise, muthafu- Oh." He said, touching down like a lunar lander in front of a very bemused munchkin with an amazing pointy hair-do nearly as tall again as he was. "Uh, can I help you?" "No one can help me." Growled Lence, giving him a pointed look and resolving to crab dance back around the corner, lens burning a fiery smear in the ground. Well then, that could have gone better. How silly, jumping at the possibility of witches at every corner. But then... He still didn't know what could have cast a silhouette like a broom! Perhaps they were actually a witch in disguise. Maybe he ought to run back around again and vaporize the muchkin, just to be safe. After some deliberation, he decided he was too tired, and on that note decided to get some sleep instead of crisping suspicious foreigners. |
| Meanwhile, by this time, the Replica salesman had regained consciousness. "I hate it when mobs pelt one with rotting food. Oh well, back to business." He then found a nice stand to climb on. "Get your Replica Red Ruby Slippers and your Replica Witch Brooms! Sweep your floors, and look fashionable doing so!" |
| Dorothy Kansas was walking down the lane when she heard someone yell "HEY YOU!" Dorothy turned her head and saw a shifty looking Grasshopper Man "You look hungry..." Said the Grasshopper Man "Want to have lunch with me?" "I don't eat with Insects." Dorothy said "I got info on who swiped the shoes and broom." The Grasshopper said "Where you want lunch?" Dorothy asked "Yum Yum's" The Grasshopper said "Meet me in one hour, The Name is Burnsy." Dorothy met Burnsy at Yum Yum's Diner. Burnsy was already going to town on a dish of crab grass, Dorothy ordered a garden salad. "I used to eat meat." Dorothy said "But then I started wondering where meat came from since nearly all the Animals in Oz talk...." "I like you." Burnsy said with a mouthful of grass "But here's the scoop "I know it's a Night Ghast that stole the stuff, I know a tiny secret about Night Ghasts, They can switch between Male and Female at will, they can only use their innate cloaking magic in their female form." (Author's Note: I write this because in my chapter I very clearly describe Nyx as female but everyone else after he referred to Nyx as male) |
| In Munchkinville, Woofy and Thomas visited the town square the buildings are suitable enough for the inhabitants except for one a farmhouse, with the sign, "The house of Dorothy, the heoin that killed the Wicked witch of the east." Woofy says "Here we are." Thomas says "See any Munchkins yet?" A voice "If you're looking for Munchkins," A male Munchkin dressed in a suit and hat comes between Woofy and Thomas "You found one, what do you need from us?" |
| "We need help from Glenda," Thomas said. The munchkin threw up his short arms. "Do you know what that means? I'll have to call a meeting of the entire village!" "I didn't know it would be so much trouble, but... it really is important." "Oh, very well. Stand here while I ring the assembly bell." "Do you still use the famous Ding Dong bell?" Woofy asked. "Of course!" said the munchkin. "We are very traditional here. Nothing ever changes." At Yum Yum's Diner, Dorothy Kansas and Burnsy the grasshopper man sat with their heads together. "What else do you know about Night Ghasts?" Dorothy asked. "They say if a Night Ghast gets angry enough he can extinguish a lantern. His shadow shape becomes so dark it's like a black hole and no light can escape." Dorothy chuckled. "Sounds like a tall tale to me." Burnsy laughed with her. "I have doubts about that one myself. You know, I never have heard about a Night Ghast actually killing anyone, and yet I hesitate to say they are harmless. There is just something evil about them." "It's the darkness," Dorothy said. "It's one of the oldest human tropes - light is good, dark is evil." |
| "Of course, this one did steal some extremely valuable magical relics," Burnsy pointed out. "And it probably intends to use them for no good. Quite a lot of no-good, in fact, considering the items' latent power." "All the reason to catch her..him...it," Said Dorothy. "What else can you tell me about Nyx?" |
| "Just don't go into the dark," said Burns. "That, and they have some sort of thing with Gnomes - I'm not exactly sure what, but one hears stories." |
| Babsy meanwhile was having lunch of a gigantic baked potato with a really big glass of lemonade to wash it down that's when.... |
| She heard cackling coming from outside and when she looked out she saw a silhouette of two witches on one broom flying in the sky "How could this be?" Babsy said "It surely couldn't be them, they're long dead." |
| Babsy rubbed her eyes. "Maybe I am hallucinating. I hope I didn't pick the wrong mushrooms again, but I just love mushroom soup." Her mother, Busty, came into the room. "It's been so long since we've heard from your brother, Burnsy." "Babsy rolled her eyes. "He never was reliable about keeping in touch. He's probably hopping and fiddling and making a general fool of himself." "Don't be so critical of your half brother," Busty said. "You both have the same father." "And where is dear daddy tonight?" Babsy asked. Busty sighed. "I wish I knew." Burnsy, of course, was at the Yum Yum Diner with reporter Dorothy Kansas as she tried to extract every scrap of information from him that she could. Meanwhile, in Munchkinville, the Ding Dong bell had been rung and the munchkins were out in mass. "What the hell, Mayor? Has somebody killed another witch?" "No, no," said the Mayor. "It's just that the Tin Man and the Dog Man here insist that they need to talk to Glenda, so... we must call her." All the munchkins put their hands to their mouths and began calling, "Glenda! Glennnnnda!" Woofy and Detective Thomas exchanged glances. "That actually works?" said Woofy. "Yep. Every time." In the distance a shining sphere of light could be seen approaching. |
| With a poof and a bang, a grinning old lady with a pointy hat materialized in the square, smirking as she leant on her broom-stick. "Yessss? Can I help you?" "These two want to talk to you, Glenda!" Called the munchkin who had arranged the meet. "Hello. I am Detective Woofy Malone and this is Detective Thomas, " Said Woofy. "It's urgent; someone's stolen the Ruby Slippers and the Broom of the Wicked Witch of the West. Right out of the Emerald Palace." |
| "I suppose that is a concern," said Glenda. "Life's funny that way. One moment, you're trying to get ready for a nice date, the next, someone says that your sisters' personal possessions have been stolen." "Sisters?" Woofy asked. "Metaphorically," said Glenda. "Good cannot exist without Evil, and vice versa - the two compliment, and cancel each other." "What do you mean?" Thomas asked. "Such as if someone took your hat without permission - would that be Nice, or Mean? A contrast/comparison is often needed." |
| Meanwhile Nyx was with their mate, Eclipse, and they were arguing about who was going to be the male and who would be the female. "I want to be the Male!" Said Eclipse "But you're ALWAYS the male!" Said Nyx "I want to be the Male this time!" |
| Back in Munchkinville a cackle is heard, Woofy says "What was that?" Glenda says "Oh no, it can't be." Suddenly two puffs of red smoke appear on different two different spots followed by a fireball as the smoke cleared, two witches appear green skin and all, one holding the broomstick and the other wearing the ruby slippers. The Mayor says "Oh no! Everyone hide quickly!" The Wicked witch of the West says "Glenda! Surprised so see us?" |
| "Yes, I am," Glenda said. "That stuff I was spouting about good and evil complimenting each other seems like useless drivel when the actual situation occurs." "I couldn't agree more," Theodora said. "I'm just so happy you have gotten old and ugly like me and Evandora. Your youthful beauty based on goodness and a kind heart always made me want to puke. I am glad even good witches grow old." "Ha!" Glenda said. "Don't confuse my present kind grandmotherly face with your old leathery, wrinkled, hag mask." "Hag mask!" Evandora said. "Look in the mirror, sweetie! You're in denial if you don't think you look as bad as we do!" Detective Thomas cleared his throat. "Ahem... ladies. May I ask why you have stolen the most precious relics of Emerald City?" "So we can fly," Theodora said, "and work other assorted forms of magic. Our deceased sister was the most powerful of the five of us. I think she was mother's favorite. Her relics are packed with magic potential." "I was mother's favorite!" Glenda protested. "Oh, please," said Theodora. "Do you think mother would prefer a goody two shoes like you to any of the rest of us? It's just she had to be nice to you because she was afraid you would rat us all out to the authorities." "Mother loved me!" Glenda yelled and pointed her wand at the evil sisters, but only a trickle of weak sparks spurted out the end of it and immediately died away. "You're old, Glenda. Face it. You're old. Mwahahahahahaha!" |
| Scowling, Glenda cracked her wand over her knee, the old wood bending like rubber, before giving the instrument a good hard shake, jogging loose some residual sparks in the process. Evendora and Theodora had collapsed against each other in silent laughter. "Excuse me, ladies," Said Woofy, marching confidently up and flashing a badge. "But, by the authority granted me by Princess Ozma, I am here-by placing you both under arrest! Ha-hem. You have the right to-" "Aha!" A massive jet of blue fire exploded from Glenda's wand, completely engulfing the detective and sending the two hecklers yipping off into the night, trailing sparks. "Oh no!" Yelled Thomas, dashing forward as the munchkins scattered. "You've scared off the culprits!" He paused, shaking his fist at the horizon with emotion. "Oh, and you've probably killed Woofy. Darn." The dog was standing stock still, liberally blackened and charred, wide-eyes the only colour in his silhouette. Still in his grip, the metal badge quickly crumbled to dust. After a second he coughed, shaking himself, and the layer of burnt fur fell off all-at-once like he was shedding a second skin. |
| "Oops! Sorry about that," said Glenda. "This thing is full of dust, and not the good kind." |
| Dorothy and Burnsy were finishing lunch when there was a crackle of thunder in the sky the whole land was turning dark |
| Bolder lion was in the next table, "What? Oh no, this only mean one thing. Whoever took the broom and slippers used the magic from them. Dark magic." |
| Dorothy yanked out her cell and called her editor, Jack Newsworthy. "Did you hear that in the sky, Jack?" "What? Thunder?" "No, Jack! Dark magic! Look outside! The whole sky is turning dark!" "It's called a rainstorm, Dorothy." "Jack, this is not a rainstorm! Oh, never mind! I'll get the whole story for you. Have a space waiting for me in the next edition of the paper." "I'll need to see the story first." "Fine!" Dorothy shoved her cell back in her pocket. "He doesn't trust me!" Bolder Lion changed chairs. "Peed in that one," he said. He wasn't as cowardly as his dad, but he did have an easily frightened bladder. "TMI!" Dorothy said. "What are you going to do now?" asked Burnsy. "What do you think?" Dorothy said. "I'm going to go out there and get the story!" |
| "Yes!" Cried Lence as the sky turned black, ripping off his body's protective covering enthusiastically. "Now I need't have to worry about vaporizing anyone!" Lightning flashed, and a put-upon looking ant yelled before crumbling to dust before him. "Not again!" |
| Meanwhile Evandora was practicing her contortionist skills while riding her broomstick "Look Sister!" Evandora said "I can put my chin on my butt while riding a broom!" |
| Back at Yum Yum's, Dorothy ran into Bolder as she is about to go out for her story. "Oh, be careful miss..." Bolder looked at Dorothy as if he recognized her from somewhere. Dorothy says "May I help you?" Bolder says "Sorry but you look like the Dorothy my father knew once, and you almost look exactly like her. Do you have any relation to her?" |
| "Bolder!" Dorothy said. "As long as we've known each other and you are just getting around to asking that?" "I was afraid to ask you before." "OK, I don't have time to talk about this stuff now, but no, I am not related to the Dorothy who saved Oz. Like a thousand other girls born in Emerald City in the last fifty years, I am named after her. Got that?" "Yes. You don't have to snap my head off." "I'm busy, Bolder! I'm working a story here!" A brilliant flash of lightning followed by a terrific boom of thunder accentuated her point. From the sky came the laughter of the witch sisters. "Oh my!" Dorothy said. "What dark forces have they unleashed up there?" She noticed Lence, the Town Clock magnifier, strutting around naked in the rain. "Hey, Lence!" she called. "How about being a telescope for me? I want to see what those witches are up to." |
| "Right-o, chap," Said Lence, kneeling down and angling his body up. We shall need another lens for this to work right, he thought, giving off a mental sigh as he handed the lion his monocle. "Well, what is visible? What nefarious plots are they enacting now?" He called over his shoulder. "Uh, not much," Grunted Bolder. "They're flying around the clock-tower alot and-" With a crack like thunder, the huge emerald edifice toppled straight down on itself. Emerald shards skipped off across the plaza. "Oh, bother." Groaned Lence as his job went straight down. "I hope you're getting this, Dorothy." Said Bolder. |
| "I'm sorry for you Lence," Bolder says "But what about the rest of Emerald City, what if they attack the castle?" |
| "They dare not!" Lence said. "To the castle!" yelled Dorothy, and they all took off running in that direction. Bolder tapped Dorothy's shoulder. "Well, I don't know for sure the witches are going to attack the castle." "It was an inspired guess," said Dorothy. "I think you are probably right. Anyway. we have to warn Princess Ozma." Meanwhile, Detective Thomas was running down the Yellow Brick Road to get back to Emerald City. He left the charred, but still breathing, Woofy with the Munchkins and Glenda. She could work a healing spell on him. Thomas could see a black cloud over Emerald City. Flashes of lightning shot down from it and he thought he could see two black specs flying around the cloud. He cursed the wicked witches. "Why can't they leave us alone?!" |
| With a screeching crack that fled across the intervening miles like a shock-wave, the Clock Tower came down. "Oh no, oh no!" The detective poured on the speed, waiting for the question of how he was going to stop the witches for a later date. |
| "Where's a nice garden at?" Lence asked. "Anything to replace that horrible sight." |
| Meanwhile Evandora asked her sister "Look! A Tin Man! Didn't you have an affair with a Tin Man back in the..." "Don't go there!" said her Sister |
| Larry the Lizard ran out of the Sparkle Club and sees all the Chaos going on "Oh, what a mess. It'll take weeks, even months to fix that clock." He ducked as both witches dived down to admire their work. |
| Larry tried to catch Theodora's eye, but she wouldn't look at him. She was probably still embarrassed about their disastrous past love affair. Larry smiled. It had been easy to seduce the witch with his piano-playing skills. There were few women who could resist a good nightclub ballad, especially after a few drinks. He went back into the Sparkle Club and moved the PA speakers so they were aimed out the windows. Then he plugged his electric piano into the amplifying system, turned the volume up to maximum, and sat down to play. When the first notes of "Since You Went Away" came drifting out of the Sparkle Club and up into the sky, poor Theodora almost fell off her broom. Tears welled up in her eyes. "Evandora!" she called. "I can't take this! Good bye! I'm going home." Evandora gnashed her teeth as her sister flew off. "Come back here! Oh, you simple-minded freak! Why do you always fail me at critical moments?" Detective Tin Man Thomas jumped out from behind a building with his gun drawn. "Stop in the name of the law! You are under arrest!" "Arrest this!" Evandora yelled and hurled a fireball at the tin man. It splashed harmlessly across his chest. "Fire against metal? Did you go to a budget school of magic? Now how would you like a taste of silver bullet? Get down off that broom immediately!" "Ha! Catch me if you can!" Detective Thomas fired his revolver and put a silver bullet threw the bushy tail of the broom. The broom shuddered, bucked, and Evandora found herself suddenly dismounted and falling from the sky. "Oh nooooooooo!" she cried. |
| Trailing smoke, as if by, perhaps, magic, the broom spiralled down on the city, sirens screaming all the way, before sending up a plume of flame as it impacted the street. Evandora floated down before the detective and a squad of other timely officers, hands up. "No! You can't do this!" She wailed, as one constable handcuffed her and another began reading out her rights. "You may have stopped me! But the Gnome King will make you pay! He has the slippers, and he will-" She was cut off as the door of the police-van slammed close. Thomas gave a voluntary sigh of relief, dusting himself off. |
| Bolder says "Glad that's over, so the Gnome King is behind this. no doubt he's after the throne and wants to rule Oz." |
| "...But, it's just, how are you even going to use the slippers?" Demanded Theodora. "If you won't let us attack Emerald City directly, than what's the point?" "I don't have to explain anything to you, miscreant, until you need to know," Growled the King. "Now, begone! And don't let this happen again." |
| Meanwhile Dorothy Kansas was looking out the Window of Yum Yum's Diner, the sky had cleared, the sun was starting to shine again, but all was not well in the land of Oz. Babsy was looking around her library, a stream of water had flowed downhill and washed several Baby Animals down the hill with it. Two Tiny Lion Cubs cried soaked and damp, Babsy recognized them as Bink and Dink the Sons of a Lioness she knew as her next door neighbor when she lived in the Forest. There were also two Bear Cubs, one Pink and the other Purple, they were slightly older then the two Lion Cubs and not shivering as much because of their thick fur. |
| Bolder came up "Oh dear, it seems the mayhem of those witches misplaced these cubs from their forest home we better do something about this, both Lilly Lioness and Honey Bear will be worried sick about them." Babsy asks "You want to help me bring them home." Bolder says "I have to, as heir to my father's throne it's my sworn duty to help forest creatures." |
| Theodora turned away from her crystal globe where she had been watching the story of Bink and Dink and Lilly Lioness and Honey Bear unfold. "So many stories in the Land of Oz!" she muttered. "That King Oswald gets my goat. Who is he? Just a gnome! My flying monkeys used to kick gnome ass on a regular basis." Oswald Hawthengill Groane, King of the Gnomes, was explaining himself to his seven elders. "My fellow gnomes, we have risen far since Saint Dorothy came to Oz and killed the wicked witches. Yes, yes, I know I resurrected them. I'll explain that again in a moment if you still don't get it." For indeed, several elders had been grumbling about the point. "After the death of the wicked witches, we were able to drive the flying monkeys away, and since then gnomes have prospered. I am proud to be your king, but my friends, we can be so much more! We don't have to limit ourselves to ruling this little patch of woods. I want you to help me become the King of all of Oz!" A lot of gnome mouths fell open at that remark. "But Oswald! King of Oz? The Ozonians would never allow it! A gnome for their king? It's just not going to happen!" Oswald pointed an accusing finger at the speaker. "It's that kind of negative thinking that holds gnomes back! Just because we are small doesn't mean we can't stand tall! And why did I resurrect the witches? To help us achieve that goal! Without their monkeys they cannot hurt us now and if they want to survive then they will have to help us." |
| "Uh, sire?' One of the Elders raised a paw. "Yes, yes," Groane made a weary gesture at him. "The Throne recognizes Gordon Graining." "Thank-you Sire." He said happily. "It is nice to have the witches on our side, Sire, but what about the other Ozemites? They love their precious Ozma; they'd never let anyone challenge her authority. Even with the sisters, how can we stand against all of Oz?" |
| "Besides," said another gnome. "Ozma has always been fair in their dealings with us. We've been prospering because of them. If we were to try and rule all, I fear that we'd all fall." "What do you mean?" Groane asked. "Check the records, Sire" the gnome said. "Especially the financial ones. Through trade with Ozma, our economy has more that quadrupled, and that's for each gnome. Cut off trade, or go to war, and our fortunes will severely diminish." |
| Meanwhile in the Forests of Oz, Babsy and Bolder were returning the Cubs to their Parents "Oh my goodness!" Said Lilly Lioness "Bink, Dink come to Mama..." As she cradled her two Cubs "Oh golly gosh." Honey Bear said as she cradled her two Cubs Jelly and Jam "I can't thank you two enough!" "There are still Cubs missing." Bolder said |
| Unfortunately, two wolf cubs and two fox cubs are in the haunted forest near Theodora's old castle and it's currently under new ownership and the new owner is worse then Theodora. A jester and he now commands the flying monkey's "What do we have here? Misplaced animals. Commander! Summon the flying monkeys." A Winky guard saluted "I'll summon them at once sir." The jester rubbed his hands, "They make excellent puppets for my plan to overthrow both the Gnome King and Princess Ozma." |
| "How so, sire?" asked the guard. "Don't question my plans!" yelled the Jester. "You're just a guard! You're nobody! Never forget it!" The guard trembled and bowed low. "I won't forget it, sire." He strode away to summon the monkeys, his lips moving as if he were mumbling curses. Oswald, King of the Gnomes, pretended to think about the objections his elders had made to his plans for conquest. In truth, the urge to power ran deep in King Oswald and his mind was already firmly attached to a course of action that would make him king of all Oz. But a mutiny among his own people would not help, so he must placate them, at least for now. "You have given me much to think about, gentlemen. Let us meet again tomorrow." At the castle of Princess Ozma, the aristocrats were having a party, and if any one of them suspected trouble was brewing in the Gnome Forest, it certainly did not show in their speech or face. They drank, they danced, they laughed, they made love. |
| ...Often all at the same time. Far below the palace, in the depths of the city, the lower classes weren't all of the same happy mind. Lence picked morosely though the remains of his employment, shifting emerald shards, at last finding his old friend Sprig, who had been transferred to the night shift but days before. The little gear was bent and battered horribly, but judging by his position, had still been manning his post to the last, keeping citizens informed of the time until the witch had blown the building to rubble. In retrospect, it was hard to imagine the stubborn, devoted little gear ending any other way, than in the line of duty. Sprig had just a little Sprog, and a clock-hand at home; a family -or at least, he had had a family. What was Lence going to tell them? "Oh, treacherous destiny, oh morose gods," Groaned Lence. "What have you done, cruel masters of fate?" He clapped a hand to his forehead, the newly awoken sun shining down sombrely, turning his copper rim to gold, the remaining flecks of rain glittering over his frame to diamonds. ...And also shining through his body, where it promptly vaporized another ant staggering through the rubble behind him, elated to be alive after the attack. |
| "I really must get a thin hood or something," Lence said. "That's getting embarrassing." |
| Babsy says "Of course brother, that would make finding them easier." Wendy Wolf and Felonious Fox came up, "Oh Please, get Summer and Winter back safe." Wendy said. Felonious says "I see them with Redtail and Kit, they were heading towards the haunted forest." Bolder says "Oh no, that's the Jester's territory." |
| Theodora slapped the side of her crystal globe. "This is worse than Downton Abbey! I'll never keep track of all these characters." She watched in dismay as baby animals of several species gambled near the haunted Forest, each with its own set of parents. Then she tapped the globe twice and some flying monkeys came into view. "What th-? How can this be? I thought my monkeys were gone forever." She gently rubbed the globe until it panned over to a view of the Jester. "Soooo... It's you! You foul, would-be comic with your lame jokes and silly costumes. How dare you take over my monkeys!" Of course, the Jester couldn't hear her because crystal globes are strictly one-way communicators only capable of displaying images. Receive only, no broadcasting. Princess Ozma lay across one of her silk-covered couches, the maroon one by the window, and softly sang Someday My Prince Will Come while the full moon drifted across the sky. Only King Oswald was engaged in any serious activity as he furiously plotted his rise to power. |
| In a peaceful wooded glade, where open grassland met majestic forest, a stampede was in progress. Animals of all shapes and sizes ran for their lives, raising dust-clouds and spraying turf out behind, screaming all the while. Through the clouds, the flying-monkeys darted, harrying the escapees, dive-bombing again and again, delighting in the terror. "Oh, no!" Said Babsy, clapping her hands to her cheeks. "Bolder! We must do something! ...Bolder?" She and Burnsy turned in unison, looking through the dust-cloud to espy the rapidly fading speck on the horizon that was their friend. |
| "This isn't good!" "Get your Replica Red Ruby Slippers and your Replica Witches' Brooms!" shouted a certain salesman. "Do you know if those things work?" Babsy asked. |
| Bolder rushed towards to the Haunted forest, "Have to get to the cubs before the Jester captures them, or else he'll turn them into puppets and that's not good. Sorry Babsy but the safety of the cubs are my top priority." Meanwhile, Summer and Winter along with Redtail and Kit are cringing against an old tree, scary faces on old oaks doesn't make it any easier on them "S-s-s-summer? I'm sc-sc-sc-scared." stammered Winter." Summer says "I know, so am I. How did we end up in this scary place?" Redtail says "Most importantly how do we get out." Everyone heard the sound of flapping wings "Wha-wha-what's that?" Asks Kit. |
| Kit was grabbed by a flying monkey and yanked up into the air, as were Summer and Winter and Redtail. "Where are they taking us?" Kit cried, but the other cubs were too frightened to speak. The Jester stood outside his mobile command center with his legs spread and his arms crossed, awaiting the return of his monkeys. The command center was a large gypsy-style wagon, colorfully painted to match the Jester's colorful costumes. He held up his hand and flexed his fingers. "I can't wait to get control of some puppets. Mwahahahaha!" |
| "Oh no!" Said Babsy yet again, watching from behind a tree. "They've got the cubs! And the kits! This isn't good. I have to warn someone!" Suddenly, with a flurry of leathery wingbeats and a spray of foliage, a gang of attack-monkeys descended on her. |
| However, just as it tried to grab her, the lead winged monkey was sent flying into the air, and not of its own volition. The monkeys turned, and found themselves facing the salesman, who was standing on one of the brooms, hovering in the air. On either side of the person, more than a dozen brooms hovered in the air. "Would you chaps mind your manners?" he asked. "It's not easy to run a business when hooligans are kidnapping people left and right you know." "What do you want?" said the monkey, that was next in command. "For you and the others to leave," said the salesman. "Otherwise, I'll be forced to use my brooms in ways they weren't made for, namely by sending them straight down your throats!" The monkey looked up, just in time to see his leader fall to the ground, hard! A broom then appeared by him, swatted him, and went towards the other brooms. "We'll go," he said, rubbing his face. "But we'll remember you. We don't forget." "In that case, make sure you don't forget your friend." The monkey bared his teeth, picked up his comrade, and, along with the others, took off. "Um, thanks," said Babsy. "Um, do those really work?" "Legally, I can't call them Witches Brooms unless they can fly, even if they are replicas of the Wicked Witches' brooms," said the salesman. "Would you like to buy one now?" "Um, do you think that I'll be able to use them?" Babsy asked. "Of course, so long as you are friendly towards them," said the salesman. "And you needn't worry about falling either - these things are trained to catch falling passengers. "But, what if one is a little on the, um, large side?" "Weight doesn't matter," said the salesman. "So long as you can hold onto it, you'll be fine." |
| Bolder says "I would like one, A.S.A.P. I need to save those cubs before the monkeys deliver them to the Jester. I shudder to think what plans he has for them as puppets." |
| "I'll take one!" said Lilly Lioness. "Me too!" said Honey Bear. At the Command Center the first of the monkeys were arriving with the cubs who were now crying and whimpering. "Shut up you little pups!" yelled the Jester. "Soon you will be dancing to my tune!" He snatched a small bear cub up by the scruff of the neck. "How would you like to be my little talking teddy bear? Hahaha!" |
| It swatted him on the cheek, sending the Jester sprawling to the ringing of bells. "Ow!" He jumped back to his feet, rubbing at the scratch mark on his face. "You little brat! You'll pay for that!" "Sire! Look!" One of the monkeys yelled, hopping on the spot, wings flapping nervously. Irritably, the Jester turned -and only just dodged away in time as Babsy dive-bombed him. The clearing suddenly seemed full of broomsticks, darting through the air, screaming like stuckas as the riders swatted at monkeys with enthusiasm. |
| While this was going on, the Salesman was counting the money he'd gotten. "Well, today's a good day. Dusted a few monkeys, made a few sales, and saved a few people. Not bad for a day's work." He then felt something tap his shoulder. He turned, and saw that his brooms were still hovering, his favorite hovering right next to him. "What is it?" he asked. The brooms made a pattern. "You want to help them?" The brooms made another pattern. "You do?" The brooms made yet another pattern. The Salesman sighed. "Alright, but we'll need more than just us. We'll need the other Brooms to, and people to ride them." At this, the brooms began flying in a happy manner. "I swear, it's like having a bunch of kids," the Salesman muttered, as he got onto his favorite. |
| Meanwhile Nyx was in the Gnomes' kitchen, he walked over to the Gnome King's bowl of gruel in his hand was a bottle of a potion that could make one sleep for one hundred years. He snuck three drops into the gruel |
| Nyx got a message from her real master: "Nyx, come in. I have a situation." She took out her crystal orb and saw it was the Jester. "I'm nearly finished, I'm spiking the gnomes' gruel. They'll be sleeping for 100 years. Uh, what's wrong with your face?" The Jester says "Never mind about my face. You and Eclipse come back to the haunted forest. I got unwanted guests to get rid of." |
| The Gnome King sat down to eat his breakfast. As his spoon dipped towards the bowl, he paused. "What was that? A sudden chill swept down my back." His guard chuckled. "My old grandmother used to say it was because someone was walking on your grave." "How could I have a grave when I am not dead yet? Idiot." "Maybe she meant the grave you would eventually have... but then I see your point... how could anyone walk on it if it doesn't exist yet." "Oh, shut up," said King Oswald, "and let me eat my gruel in peace. Today will be one of the most important days in my life. Big changes ahead!" |
| He put the spoon in his mouth -and promptly passed out, falling of the chair with a wooden thud. For the first time in one day shy of fifty years of service, the guard had an actual situation. "Sire? Sire?" He tried to stir his master nervously, confounded by the latter's deep snoring. "Come on, wake up, Sire! Is this gruel really that bad?" He licked a finger after passing it through the bowl -and promptly fell over on top of Groane. An Elder came upon the scene. "Oh my -it must have been the gruel! Gone foul!" "I made it just as I always did," Protested the chef when scrutinized by the Elder and a posse of guards. "The king never seemed to mind it. I already had one of the servers wheel it out to the throne room for the court's breakfast." From the floor up, there was a sound like hail as a hundred bodies hit the floor en-masse. The Elder face-palmed. "Cook, I demand samples for all Elders and guards, so we may taste it and figure out what the mater is!" "Why don't you try some of your own medicine, you poisoner?!" A guard force-fed him some left over gruel, watching in satisfaction as he fell asleep. "Bah; typical servant's constitution. I bet ya' I could take whatever's in here -zzz." "Hah." Chortled another of the remaining guards, jabbing at thumb at their comatose companion. "Humphrey always had a weak gut. Let me try some!" There were more staccato thuds from a side-room as the other servants began to break fast, interrupted by the fierce competition to remain steadfast occurring amongst the few conscious soldiers. And as guards and servants and courtiers dropped like flies around him, the Elder began to feel very alone in the world. Finally, he sighed in despair and nibbled some himself, gracefully falling spread-eagled on the hill of government personnel. |
| At this, the Sandman showed up. "I hate sudden nappers! Okay, let's see how long to make them sleep for." |
| Eclipse says "Aah, it's almost dark. That's when we're a lot stronger. I love it when the haunted forest comes alive at night. Now let's see what we can do to the Jester's unwanted guests." When they arrive they see flying brooms rode by the Salesman and many brave volunteers. |
| "Looks like the Jester has an army of civilians against him," Nyx said. "Aye," agreed Eclipse. "Do you see his war wagon anywhere?" "Over there." The Jester shook an angry fist at them. "About time you got here! Didn't you hear the part where I said it was urgent?" "Too much daylight!" Nyx said. "You know we are night creatures." "Yeah? Well, it's night now and we have to do something about all these happy campers flying around on brooms." "Where are the cubs?" Nyx asked. "Don't worry about the cubs. I have them all locked up in an underground, soundproof bunker." |
| "These people aren't giving up," Noted Eclipse, carefully side-stepping as another flying monkey plummeted to earth next to him. Across the clearing, two more brought down a racoon on a broom stick. "Jester!" Babsy called. "Where is it? Where's the bunker!" "Do something!" Jester called to the two Night-Ghasts. |
| "Take out the guy in the funny hat!" yelled the salesman. "He has the kids!" |
| At that Moment a Large Dragon named Docky turned around and farted fire at the villain. (Docky was an unusual Dragon. His fire came out the other end) |
| The dragon fire hits the Jester's pants and he magically summons a bucket of water to put it out. The Jester relieved and angered from his hotseat, "That's it, you really got to my last nerve! Now is the time I take care of you all and I'm not joking!" |
| "Don't be afraid of him!" yelled the Salesman. "What can he do?" In response, the Jester opened the locket that hung around his neck. Inside was The Final Joke, a gift to him from a powerful joke wizard for whom the Jester had done a great favor. It was written on a tiny scroll. The Jester unrolled it and began to read... Three men walk into Emerald City, a lion, a tin man, and a scarecrow... "Don't let him finish that joke!" yelled Bolder Lion. |
| Docky missed with another fireball, destroying a small forest worth of trees, Babsy and Burnsy collided in mid-air, and Felonious, Wendy, Willy were all tackled by flying monkeys as they charged in a body. Behind the line, the two Night Ghasts set up a cloud darkness, shielding the Jester further. Only Honey, empowered with the strength of a mama bear faced with threatened cubs, smashed right through the shield, and the two monsters behind it, careening straight into the Jester's wagon. Splinter flew high above the highest flyers, as the Jester was catapulted through the air from his vaporized vehicle. |
| The Jester ended up on ground near one of the haunted trees where he was immediately grabbed by it "Put me down or I'll turn you to firewood!" |
| Already, a cadre of determined citizens were helping to restore the old Clock Tower, this time witch-proof and with a grandiose memorial for the murdered attached. |
| Bolder says "Who is this guy and why is he not wearing clothes?" Woofy just shrugged and says "Beats me, but there one thing we're missing that bothers me." Then Bolder realized "Theodora, unless she's sleeping with King Oswald and the rest of his gnome subjects, she's still out there." |
| The naked fat man saw Woofy and Bolder looking at him and came over. "You've got to help me! I'm the Wizard of Oz!" Woofy and Bolder exchanged glances with each other. "We haven't had an official wizard since the time of Saint Dorothy." "That's me! I'm that wizard! My balloon crashed. It's taken me a 100 years to find my way back to Emerald City." Again Woofy and Bolder exchanged looks. "Um, that's a pretty wild story, sir. Also, it would make you well over a 100 years old." "I'm a wizard, dammit! I can be over a 100 years old!" "Then answer me this," Woofy said. "If you are a wizard, then why didn't you use some wizard magic to get you back here sooner?" "It's a long story. Listen to me! What's important now is that I must see the Princess Ozma right away!" "Have you forgotten where the palace is?" "They won't let me in! The guards said come back tonight!" "That's right," Woofy said. "There's a big party and everyone is invited. But... you really ought to wear some clothes. Perhaps the guards would be friendlier then" |
| "The animals don't have to wear clothes if they don't want to," Protested the Wizard. "And heaven knows I've been living like an animal long enough! Why should I have to-" "Actually," Interjected Woofy. "To be a citizen you have to have clothing of some kind. Why do you think Lence -the 'glass back there - keeps that monocle? But, if you can't magic up some clothes," He slid off his shoe, handing the Wizard a partially solidified and more-than-partially stinking sock. "You can wear this if you have to get into the palace." The Wizard took the proffered garment dubiously, holding it like it was an unhappy viper. "Um... Thanks." "You're welcome. Mind; I'll be wanting it back." "Why did you need to talk to the Princess?" Asked Bolder. |
| "Alright, Mama," Babsy said. "I got a letter from Daddy," Busty said. "You did? Oh, please read it! I feel better already!" Dear Wife and Children, This is to let you know I miss you very much. I am sorry I have stayed so long here in Turquoise City, but the women here are really hot. Haha! Just a joke, Honey! All the women here are really cool. Haha! Another joke! As you can see, I have kept my sense of humor. Unfortunately, I have not kept my money and am now flat broke. I can't even buy a bus ticket home. I know you will help me out, Busty, darling, with a little tiny bit of cash. Please send it to me care of General Delivery, the Turquoise City Post Office. I am forever in your debt! Your loving husband and father, Boozy Babsy was giggling. "Daddy is funny, Mama!" Busty was not giggling. "Yeah, real funny." |
| Meanwhile, at the clock tower construction site, Woofy was still talking to the Wizard. " 'Propriety' information?" He asked suspiciously. "Just what are you hiding, old man, that's so important?" "Uh, detective?" Said Bolder, tugging at his comrade's arm gently. "I don't think we should bother him. He is a wizard, after all. |
| Unfortunately the wizard is also senile as he spots Dorothy, "Dorothy? You're still here? I thought you were back in Kansas by now." |
| "Kansa? That's my last name," Dorothy said. "Do we know each other?" "Don't you remember me, Dorothy? I'm the Wizard of Oz." Dorothy laughed. "The only Dorothy that would have known the Wizard of Oz went back to Kansas a 100 years ago. By now she is probably dead and I imagine the wizard is, too." "No! I'm very much alive! But then you must be her great granddaughter!" Dorothy rolled her eyes. "Sorry. I'm not related to her. I'm just named after her." The old man's face fell. "Oh. I see. I guess everything has changed." "Have you visited our homeless shelter? You can get a bowl of hot soup there and a bed for the night. And maybe some more clothes to wear." "Thank you, young lady. Thank you." Dorothy watched him trudge away. "Poor old coot. Senile as a doornail." |
| "I wonder what he wanted to talk about?" Asked Bolder, ducking as a ton of green bricks swung by on a crane, nearly taking the lion's head off. |
| A green statue of a anthro lion is in front of the Museum and the plaque reads "The king of the forest who Saint Dorothy helped find his courage." |
| "Saint Dorothy! Saint Dorothy!" Nix said in a mocking tone. "I get so tired of hearing that." "Yeah," Eclipse said. "She did more harm than good." Meanwhile, at the great palace of Princess Ozma in Emerald City, the doors had been thrown open to the public. Everyone who was anybody was there. Bands were playing, refreshments were being served. Detective Tin Man Thomas dipped a tostado into some hot nacho cheese. "When you get right down to it, Emerald City is a fine place to live." "Yeah!" said Woofy, and popped another piece of sesame chicken into his mouth. Dorothy was talking to Larry the Lounge Lizard. "So then I moved to Emerald City and got a job with the newspaper." |
| "That's great," Said Larry, taking a sip of wine the way only a lounge-lizard can. "Me? I've just always loved playing the piano. The nightclub a great place; it's too bad I don't see you down there more often." Eclipse and Nyx were busy flitting all over the museum, sprinkling peppery dust into every nook and crevice. Wherever it landed, animals stuffed and replicated in wax, learned to twitch, blinking and groaning as they came around. "Dear, remind me again why we're bringing all the animals in the Museum to life?" Said Eclipse. He flashed back and forth between genders like a strobe-light, betraying his nervousness as he sprinkled powder "Well, how would you feel if you had been standing still for the last twenty years?" Asked Nyx, running across the ceiling and into the prehistoric wing eagerly. "These things will want to move. Wen they do, people will panic, and the screams and bright lights of Emerald City will make them panic right back. Just by letting them loose, we've got a guaranteed stampede." "That doesn't really answer the question," Grumbled Eclipse, neatly dodging the swipe of a newly resurrected tiger's paw. |
| "But, here's a question - what if neither group panics, and treats this as just another occurrence?" |
| "I heard everything you said." Said a Replicated White Rabbit gesturing to her ears "You two are up to no good." "And what do you think you'll do about it Bunny Rabbit?!" Sneered Nyx "I am Snowdrop the Great Lapine...I once saved all the Animals from a Great Fire 200 years before Dorothy's arrival...So the Animals all listen to me." |
| The tiger says "I'm Blackclaw, I fought Night Ghasts almost 100 years before Dorothy. So you picked the wrong animal to revive." |
| Eclipse punched Nyx's shoulder. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Once again you have done something incredibly dumb!" "Hey! Lay off! All these animals can't be against Night Ghasts." "Why not? What good things have we ever done for anybody? I knew this night would not end well as soon as we got to the museum." |
| "Crap. We're in the wrong building," Groaned Nyx, decapitating Snowdrop as the rabbit leapt at her. A hurricane of fluff flew, joined by feathers as Eclipse neatly bisected the replica Blackclaw. "We were supposed to be in the Famous Museum of Animals, not the Museum of Famous Animals!" "Moron." Eclipse grunted, grunting again far louder when an animated Sir Charlie the Great Elephant clobbered him with its snout. "We've got to get out of here!" Around them, resurrected resemblances of famous Ozian personages moved in in a swarm, clubbing and hitting away with paw, tusk, and tooth furiously. The two 'ghasts took to the air, managing to squirm out under a window slit high up in the front atrium, leaving the mess to the night security. |
| At the palice, Dorothy got a call from her cell, at a unfortunate time. She was having conversation with Princess Ozma. "Great, find time for a phone call. Excuse me your majesty." Princess Ozma says "I understand." Dorothy answered it was her boss, "Dorothy, there's a commotion going on at the Museum of Famous Animals, could you investigate it?" |
| "Thanks for the tip!" Dorothy said. By the time she arrived at the museum, Detective Tin Man Thomas was already there. "It was Night Ghasts," he said. Dorothy shuddered. "Ew! I can't stand those things. They're so shadowy and that gender changing thing really creeps me out." |
| Inside, half the exhibits appeared to have been put through a meat grinder, stuffing strewn liberally around the atrium and corridors. Weirdest vandalism I've ever seen, Thought Dorothy, stepping over two halves of Blackclaw and the headless remains of a rabbit. Now, what were they up to? |
| "Got any clues?" asked Dorothy. "Check the footage," said Thomas. "It's very strange." |
| Dorothy sees the footage though the museum's security camera playback, "They brought the exhibits to life only to fight them? This is very strange." |
| Woofy came running in. "Trouble over at the Famous Museum of Animals!" "What is this?" the Tin Man said, "Vandalize a museum night? We better assign extra guards to all the museums. Uh... Dorothy?" But Dorothy had already run out of the Museum of Famous Animals and was on her way to the Famous Museum of Animals. |
| Dorothy dashed up the steps to the museum, kneeling to put one eye to the glass door. She groaned and shook her head at the menagerie on the other side; animals of all sorts stirred and shambled back and forth, ignoring the pedestals that had so recently exhibited them. She pulled back, head still going, at the sharp smell of a cocktail of dung. |
| Meanwhile Docky the Dragon was resting in her home eating apricot stuffed dates when she heard a noise outside. |
| Docky went outside and spotted a man with a Jack-O-Lantern for a head cutting down apricots from her tree with a sword. "Jack Pumpkinhead?" Docky says "Why are you cutting down my apricots?" |
| Jack shook his head. An expression came over his face like he just woke up. "What? What's that you say? Uh.... what am I doing here?" Docky stood on her porch with her hands on her hips. "You're cutting down my apricots and I want to know why?" 'Docky! I don't know what happened! I must have sleep walked or something!" "Well, you better sleep walk your orange ass home, Mister Jack Pumpkinhead, and if I catch you around my apricot tree again there will be hell to pay." "Yes, ma'am!" Jack said, and ran back to his house. Detective Tin Man Thomas joined Dorothy in the museum. "What a mess!" Dorothy picked up a couple of small black pellets. "Look. Night Ghast droppings. They are behind this vandalism, for sure." The Tin Man nodded. "They were here alright, but who is behind them? There is a method to this madness. It's bigger than Night Ghasts. I smell a master mind in the wings. The Night Ghasts are only his, or her, tools." "Theodora?" "Possibly." |
| "What about the Jester?" Said Dorothy. "Last we saw him, he was trapped in the Dark Forest. He might've escaped by now." "Or the trees will hold him until his starves to death, then use his corpse for fertilizer." Said Thomas. "Jester's slippery, but he's not that slippery. I still think that Theodora and the 'ghasts are working together, though I'm glad you're thinking so fast." "Should we ask Larry what she's after?" Said Dorothy. "I think they had past relations of some kind." |
| Meanwhile in the Forests of Oz some Black Ants were on their way home after a late night, when they were almost squished by the Night Ghasts. "MANICS!" Screamed Anthony Ant "Wait!" Said Anita Ant "I know those two Night Ghasts! They're headed for Mount Hyup!" |
| Bolder lion was a little confused on the museum incident, "First those Night Ghasts hit The Museum of Famous Animals and vandalized the exhibits of Snowdrop and Blackclaw, then the Famous Museum of Animals vandalizing all the exhibits. This doesn't make sense. The Gnome King is sleeping for 100 years and I haven't heard even a peep from that Diabolical Jester sense he was carried into the haunted forest." He get's a phone call "Hello? Ah, Anthony Ant, What? Night Ghasts heading for Mount Hyup? Thanks, I'll meet you there and I may not be alone." He hangs up the phone "Whoever is behind this, is gotta be there, I need to report this." |
| Dorothy? "Who is this?" Dorothy said. Bolder Lion. "Do you know it's 3am?" Sorry if I woke you, but I've got a hot tip for you. Dorothy pulled on her hiking clothes and called Tin Man Thomas before she left for Mount Hyup. He would join her on the way. |
| "This may be the single stupidest plan of all time," Noted Eclipse drily as the duo winged over the tree-tops. "Why are we even going to Mt. Hyup? If you say 'because its a volcano and we can make it erupt' I will scream, and possibly take up cutting myself." "We are going to Mt. Hyup," Sighed Nyx. "Because…" |
| Nyx continued, "...we're meeting Mombi there." Eclipse says "Why would that witch want us?" |
| "It's not that she wants us," Nyx said, "it's that we want her." "We?" Eclipse said. "WE?! When did you ever include me in your planning? No, I have to discover what lamebrain scheme you've dreamed up AFTER it's already in motion." "Eclipse, darling, if I included you in the planning stage you would veto every idea I had." "For good reason!" "There's Mount Hyup," Nyx said. A great mountain rose before them. From it's summit issued a tower of dark smoke. Circling the tower of dark smoke was a witch on a broom. "Looks like Mombi is already here." |
| "Can we just go talk to her, or do we need to sacrifice a pure-hearted child or something, to gain entry?" Said Eclipse, as the couple took cover behind a boulder. "I'm not telling you -because apparently I never include you in my plans." Said Nyx, stepping out from behind the rock after a moment Mombi spent circling like a fly. "Look, just ...stay here, and be ready to warn us if any of Ozma's thugs come by. And in case you should feel an irresistible need to mutilate yourself, try not to hit a major artery." " 'Try not to hit a major artery'." Hmmphed Eclipse in a horrible high-pitched Nyx impression, but the Nightghast was already gone. |
| Eclipse easily phased through the rock, "Oh, come on. You think that's the way to kill a night ghast? Think again. Whoever you are, I'm your worst nightmare." |
| But it worried her so she flew up to where Nyx and Mombi were having a conversation in the sky. "I thought I told you to wait down there," Nyx said. "Somebody dropped a rock on me," Eclipse said. Mombi laughed. "That's just one of the rocks launched from the volcano. They travel upwards for miles and then back down again, of course." "If I was a flesh creature instead of a ghast it would have smashed me flat." "That's why you don't see any flesh creatures around and that's why I choose to stay in the sky with one eye cast upward. But as long as you are here, you might as well know what Nyx and I were talking about." |
| Mombi said "I have a Plan...A plan to bring eternal night so the Night Ghasts may be free to rule the world again!" |
| Eclipse smiles and says "Oh, that would certainly be a dream come true. So, what's the plan?" |
| "You can ask her yourself," Said Mombi smugly. "Theo!" A black speck rose from the depths of the volcano, smoothly coming to a hover next to Mombi. Theodora looked haggard, eyes reddened in a grief neither Nightghast wanted to think about more than absolutely necessary. "Theo," Sadi Mombi gently. "What do you think of this plan I've cooked up? The Nightghasts are all for it." Theodora sneezed. "Yes, yes. I'll... I'll do it. I will sweep the sun and stars from the sky, until you are crowned co-regents of OZ." She sneezed again. "Splendid! Thank-you, Theo! There's a good girl." Said Mombi, patting her on the back congratulatory. "There's just one thing left; to dispose of Larry. His music is Theodora's greatest weakness; we must either kill him, or smash every piano in the land of Oz!" "I really think that we should kill him." Said Eclipse enthusiastically. |
| "Isn't that a little harsh? Sure, he's a terrible musician, but killing him?" |
| "Who's speaking?" Asked Nyx "I did." Said a Talking Clock (Author's Note: Seriously BBWolf you need to specify who is talking especially when there are more then two characters and no one has any idea who's talking) |
| "You can't turn back the hands of time!" Tik-Tok said. Then he phased out of existence at that location. "He's been a nuisance ever since he learned how to phase," Mombi said. "I'll bet you right now he is telling Lounge Lizard Larry that we are out to get him." Sure enough, Lounge Lizard Larry mysteriously disappeared from the streets of Emerald City and the rumor was he had gone into hiding at some secret location. There was a series of acts of malicious vandalism in Emerald City for the next few days. Curiously, they often involved the destruction of a piano. |
| This was accompanied by a new occupational hazard for lounge lizards: musica mortis, as many of the pianos met their ends while falling from the sky on to the haplessly bemused reptiles. |
| "This is getting annoying," said one of the lizards, who had just missed getting squashed flat. "We need to tell someone about this, like the Guard, or something." |
| Larry ducked into a small basement, inside were some Animals, a Rabbit, a Dog, a Hawk and Pigeon all playing some Tabletop RPG |
| Larry sadly shook his head from side to side. "While you jokers are playing your childish board games, I am out there playing the game of life where if you win you live but if you lose you die." "That's a tough game, friend," said the Rabbit. "I prefer games where the prize is a carrot." "Or a peanut," said the Pigeon, and the others chuckled at his modest aspirations. "It's not funny!" said Larry. "The fate of Oz hangs in the balance." The Dog did a face palm. "Oh God, not another self-important victim of witchcraft. I suppose if the witch gets you then Oz will fall. Is that about it?" "That's exactly it!" Larry said. "I don't see how you can make fun of that?" "I'm making fun of you, Larry, because you don't know where you are or who you are talking to. This childish game we are playing here is the real game of life. We are the Fates, Larry. Look at this card I am holding." "It says Mombi." "That's right. It will be up to me how the witch is played. And Rabbit has your card, Larry. Unfortunately, Rabbit has a weird sense of humor and decided to play you into here, breaking the fourth wall for all of us." "The fourth wall?" Larry asked. "It's a technical term," said Dog. "Don't worry about it. The important thing is that Rabbit can play you face down and wipe your memory clean or he can play you face up." "I'm not sure I believe any of what you are saying," Larry said. Dog chuckled. "Play him, Rabbit." And Larry found himself waking up in a field of poppies on the outskirts of Emerald City. "Holy Scarecrow! What a dream that was! If it was a dream." |
| "Haha!" Said Dog, voice booming in the extra-dimensional hide out. "It's my turn! And guess how I'm going to play Mombi?" Larry stumbled through rank after rank of poppies, wondering at every step closer to the distant city of emerald why he had decided to leave his hiding place. There could be witches about, or something. As if to purely to remind him what a stupid decision it had been, Mombi dived bombed him, cackling and shooting lightning from both hands. Larry dove for cover in the poppies. |
| "Isn't that a little rough?" asked the Pigeon. "Shooting lighting bolts from their hands? Poor flowers." "I have to agree," said the Hawk. "Just a little over the top. Let's put a shield over those poppies." |
| "OK." Said Dog "Why do you worry so much about flowers?": "Flowers saved our lives once." Said Pigeon and Hawk |
| As the lightning bolt nearly strikes Larry, an emerald green aura glows on top of him, preventing Larry's demise. "Whew, that was close." He says. |
| With his next step Larry fell down a rabbit hole. In another dimension Dog muttered "Well played!". For now, Larry was safe in the burrow of an Oryctolagus cuniculus. When Mombi realized Larry was hidden from her again, she returned to Theodora and the Night Ghasts. "Forget about Larry," she said. "It's as if the Fates are out to protect him. We'll just have to implement my plan as is." Eclipse said, "But I thought the weakness of your plan was Theodora's susceptibility to Larry's music? With Larry still in the picture..." "We'll just have to be careful," said Mombi, "to make sure that Theodora's taste for Larry doesn't cause any problem. Now let's get moving. We've wasted enough time on Larry. Theodora! Are you ready to sweep the sky clean of sunlight and plunge Oz into darkness?" "Ready, Captain Mombi! And don't you guys worry about me and Larry. Look! I've plugged my ears with cotton balls." "Cool idea!" Nyx said. "What?" "Cool idea!" "I can't hear you. I have cotton in my ears." The four plotters laughed the cheerful laugh of those who are about to make others miserable. |
| "No time to waste," Said Mombi. "Theodora, if you please?" Setting down on a tree branch, Theodora neatly flicked her broom into her grip like a kid with a skateboard. With the same motion, she swept it skyward, breaking into a cackle. Her compatriots traded grins. In Emerald City, carts pulled to the curb, strolling couples halted mid-sentence, and pedestrians pointed and shouted as a strip of sky turned to pure black, as if a godly painter had swept a brush over it. Even as they watched, the blue vanished, each section digging closer and closer to the sun. |
| "Oh look, the witches are trying to destroy the city," said the Hawk. "I feel sorry for the flowers that live there," said the Pigeon. "Do you want to put a shield over them?" Hawk asked. "Oh, I'd love to, but someone might complain," Pigeon said. "After all, this isn't a field." |
| Dog looked to the sky and said, "I declare a free play period. Characters have to make their own decisions." |
| "That's fine with me," Rabbit said. "Larry is in one of my rabbit holes. What about the rest of the heroes? Bolder, Tim and Dorothy Kansas?" |
| "I want to see what they do on their own," said Dog. The Four Fates sat back to watch events unfold. Theodora soon had the sky swept clean of light. All of Oz was in darkness. The munchkins panicked first. Their excited little voices called to each other. They lit torches and formed into a mob. "What has happened? Why is it dark? Let's go to Emerald City!" So a mob of torch-bearing munchkins set out on the Yellow Brick Road to march to Emerald City. Dorothy, Bolder, Woofy, and Tin Man Thomas were eating a late lunch at the Poppyseed Diner when the darkness descended. "This can't be good," Woofy said. The foursome rushed outside. "That's Theodora, isn't it?" Bolder said. "Yes," said the Tin Man. "Too bad we weren't able to capture her. Somehow she has managed to launch even greater mischief than ever before." "Look!" Woofy said. "Night Ghasts!" The black shadows of Nyx and Eclipse swooped over their heads. "Ouch!" Dorothy said. Nyx had dropped a roll of parchment on her head. She unrolled it. "What does it say?" asked Woofy. "It's a manifesto, some kind of declaration. A new world order. Oz will be ruled by Night Ghasts now. If the people of Emerald City want their sunshine back, then Princess Ozma must immediately abdicate the throne and declare Nyx and Eclipse to be the true and only rulers of Oz." Bolder gasped. "Oh nooooo!" |
| "What?" Said Thomas " 'Immediately'? There's no time for us to think this out?" "I guess not." Sighed Dorothy. "This is a pickle. We can't let Nightghasts run things, but we're going to go blind and eventually die of starvation otherwise." A growing murmur down the street sounded out where more of the pamphlets had been dropped. Safely distracting the trio's attention away from Bolder, who was quietly wetting himself as he busily searched for a place to hide. |
| "Then again, it could be a bluff," said Dorthy. "Maybe it's like an eclipse, and goes away on its own, after a certain period of time, like a few hours, and these guys are just using it as an excuse to try and take over the place." |
| In the palice, the guard gave the parchment to Princess Ozma. "So, the Night Ghasts doing this, they can't be the masterminds behind this darkness, so I will not abdicate the throne to the likes of them. Question is, who is really behind this?" A voice says "It's the witch Mombi, and this is only the beginning." The guard and Ozma turned around and saw Tik-tok, "You there," the guard says "your trespassing on royalty!" Ozma holds up her hands "Let it talk, I want to know more." |
| Tik-Tok stepped forward. "I heard it all and this is what I heard! The broom of Theodora is a very powerful broom They have found a way to use it to plunge Oz into gloom Darkness will kill the flowers and mean Emerald City's doom Unless Princess Ozma gives the Night Ghasts her throne room. Theodora has a weakness and his name is Larry Lizard He plays a sweet piano like a musical wizard They tried to terminate him but they could only harass For he found a hiding hole underneath the meadow grass. There is a second witch who really pulls the strings She's the one who dreamed up all these evil things Although she's young and just begins to play the witchcraft game Already she is famous - Mombi is her name. Princess Ozma clapped her hands together. "Mombi! I've heard of her! That evil little witch! She won't get away with this!" Tik-Tok shook with joy. "What will you do, your highness?" The anger on Ozma's face changed into thoughtfulness. "I don't know, but I'll think of something. There's got to be something." |
| "For now, we have to make sure the citizens stay calm," Said Ozma measuredly. "And get our best police tracking down the witches and the Nightghasts before the darkness begins to kill all of the plants and people panic." A flustered looking human guard strode in, saluting. "Your highness." He shook off an advisor busily trying to tell him that he couldn't just barge into the throne room. "There is an angry mob outside, demanding that you hand over your crown! Shall we disperse them?" |
| Ozma turned to the Head Guard. "Get me Tom the Liar. This is a job for him." "Why do you want him?" the Head Guard asked. "The man's currently locked up for conning, almost, everyone. I mean, we dare not tell the people what he did, as what he did could cause the economy to collapse if the truth was known." "Yes, he drove up the price of emeralds by claiming it's the rarest natural gem, even rarer than diamonds, when in truth, it's just as common as the other gems," said Ozma. "He's the perfect sort to play the role of a Forgetful Royal Astronomer, who found out some time ago that we'd be having an extra-long solar eclipse, and forgot to tell me about it, meaning that I couldn't tell the people about it ahead of time. The man is the sort who can calm the people down, and get them to go home without further issues." "So, we're going to lie to the people?" the one guard asked. "That is correct," said Ozma. "We'll say that this is a natural phenomenon, one that will last a few days, and that the witches are using it as a means to scare the people. We'll have traveling curtailed, with the people staying close to home, unless it is necessary, for their safety. There will be at least twenty guards, and police, going door to door, checking on the people, seeing if they need anything, and delivering supplies to the people. We shall use the three days to investigate, and stop whatever plot is afoot, hopefully without the population getting too wise to the situation. Should the darkness last longer, say a week, and become a serious danger to farming, we shall admit the truth." |
| They got Tom the Liar Meanwhile Nyx and Eclipse were sharing a cup of Shadow Brew "Sorry for all the things I said earlier." Said Eclipse |
| Nyx says "It's all water under the bridge now, pretty soon we'll be running Oz once the Princess advocates the throne and..." her expression turns to anger as the TV behind Eclipse shows Tom the liar's broadcast, "What!? How dare she!" Eclipse says "What's wrong?" |
| "They are on TV declaring the darkness is a natural phenomena!" Eclipse said. "Mombi! Mombi! Get in here!" Mombi had a sour look on her face. "Yes, I heard. It just means that it will take a little longer than we thought." "But Theodora can't keep it dark indefinitely! What happens when it gets light again? They will know we were bluffing. Oh, all is lost!" "Quit wailing!" Mombi said. "You give up too easily." "Ask Theodora how much longer she can keep it dark." "Theodora is resting now. It takes a lot out of her." "I knew it!" Eclipse said. "She is almost pooped out already, isn't she?" Mombi pointed her boney finger at Eclipse. "Quit emitting all this negativity! If we fail it will be your fault with your terrible attitude." "My fault is it? You're as bad as Nyx! This is your plan and it's not working!" Nyx looked at Mombi and said, "See what I have to put up with?" "You shut up!" said Eclipse. |
| "Well, fine then." Said Mombi, folding her arms. "If all of our plans are so terrible, what's your bright idea?" "Well," Started Eclipse, suddenly realizing that he lacked an evil plan of his own, to say nothing of experience in drafting one. "Well... We'll distribute more pamphlets. We'll tell everyone that Ozma is lying to them -preferably for some selfish reason of her own that she, uh, can't disprove- and that the darkness will last until they see sense and give in." Mombi and Nyx exchanged bored glances. "Hey," Said Eclipse defensively. "If we act fast, people might still be panicked enough to believe it! If there's a single struggle between protesters and police, our job will be much easier!" |
| "Take a look at the TV, you idiot," Mombi said. "The people are heading home, even the initial protesters with the signs, pitchforks, and torches. They heard that man explain the whole thing away as an extra long eclipse that he forgot to tell the princess about, and they bought that, hook, line, and sinker. He's probably some conman the Princess made a deal with - and with just a few words, and diagrams, he's convinced everyone to go home, and wait the darkness out, saying that the police and guards will help to take care of any needed shopping and such." Nyx chuckled at this. "You have to admire Ozma for that. By playing this whole thing with a calm demeanor, and by not panicking herself, she has convinced the rest of the population to remain calm. Well played." Mombi had to grin. "Perhaps we should up the anti, by causing something other than darkness." "Such as?" "Nothing causes more panic than an earthquake." "An earthquake in the darkness?" Nyx thought about this. "We'd best be careful with that then. Too many casualties is not a good idea, and don't forget the cleanup." "You do have a point," said Mombi. "Terrorizing the people is one thing. Causing deaths though can turn them against us, especially if word got out that we were behind the earthquake." |
| Meanwhile the Fat Man who claimed to be the Wizard of Oz was at Yum Yum's Diner eating a BLT when a Pig came in crying "YOU'RE EATING MY BROTHER!" |
| A Jackrabbit waiter comes up to the pig and says "We use turkey bacon on our BLTs, not pork." He holds up the menu and shows it. |
| The pig ran out, screaming, "You ruin everything!" "Sorry about that, sir," said the waiter. "Next he would have asked you for money. It's a little scam some of these kids try to pull." The Fat Man sighed. "Oh, what has become of my beloved Oz? The kids were so respectful 100 years ago." The waiter squinted. "Uh... right , sir. I wouldn't know. That was before most of us were born." Mombi clapped her hands together. "Alright! I know what we will do. We will concentrate our efforts on Princess Ozma. We've got to crack her cool and make her panic. The earthquake will be small and only rock the palace. It will shake her up." "Let's do it right away," Theodora said. "I'm getting very tired and drained. And by the way, I know perfectly well there is no way you could create earthquakes all over Oz." "Quiet!" Mombi said. "The Night Ghasts think I am the cat's meow. Don't make them doubt me. I'll need their trust when we turn the tables on them and send them down the river." |
| In the next room over, Nyx and Eclipse were doing some plotting of their own. "We have to watch out for those two witches," Said Nyx. "If they're powerful enough to make earthquakes, bumping them off might be tricky." "Yes, but how do we know they really can make huge earthquakes?" Said Eclipse. "Maybe they're bluffing, just to keep us on our toes." "Dear," Said Nyx gently. "That is ridiculous. Think of it statistically; when was the last time you were right about anything?" "Right now!" Snapped Eclipse. "Ahem; 'the sky is blue'." "Actually, it's black. And Mombi is still a dangerous partner." |
| "Then again, they just might limit the strength of the quake," said Nyx. "Something about how you can't rule a kingdom if it's full of dead people." "That would make sense," said Eclipse. "After all, someone has to clean up the debris, and the bodies." |
| Meanwhile as this evil plot was unfolding, a tiny flea that had been sitting in the shadows had heard everything and knew he had to escape with the news without being seen or heard |
| The flea managed to piggyback on a flying monkey without notice as it flew on it's patrol, "Okay, managed to leave but who shall I talk to? As soon as I show myself to someone, they may try to squash me then listen to what I have to say." the flea said to itself. |
| The monkey was thinking, "I've got another one of those damn talking fleas on my back. The last one cost me two thousand dollars on a time share apartment in Turquoise City. I wonder what this one's scam is?" The flea picked that moment to make his plea. "Excuse me, Mr Monkey, but you probably didn't realize you have a passenger. I have important information that could be very useful to the right people." "Sure you do," said the monkey. "And I wear a coconut brassiere." "I take that silly remark to mean you are not interested," said the flea. "Take it with cream and sugar, if you like. I hate fleas." Mombi and Theodora appeared in Princess Ozma's bedroom just as the palace started shaking. "Beware!" yelled Mombi in her most evil voice. "Your failure to abdicate the throne will bring about the fall of Oz! You shall be known as the princess who refused to abdicate and allowed Emerald City to be destroyed just to keep her foolish pride!" Princess Ozma was frightened and clung to her bed which was bouncing around as all the bottles and jars on her makeup table crashed to the floor. |
| "Well, I'll be on my way in a second," Piped the flea. "Just give me a moment; this is important and-" He saw a huge, five-lobed shadow blotting out the sun, as the monkey's paw descended. "-Wait! Its about the Night Ghasts and the witches's plan!" "Oh?" The monkey paused. "Well in that case, you're going to the Jester. I'm sure the boss'll want to hear. This had better not be some kind of trick." "No trick." Said the flea miserably, as the monkey sped them away form Emerald City, far too high for even a flea to contemplate jumping. |
| Fortunately, in spite of the witches' efforts, the palace was still standing. Sure, a number of nicknacks had been damaged, including the big mirror in Ozma's room, along with one grandfather clock, but other than some cuts and scrapes, and more than a few bruised egos, no one was seriously injured. As Ozma caught her breath, she looked at the cracked mirror. Then she looked at the witches. "That was a gift from my Grandfather. Besides, don't you know that breaking a mirror is seven years bad luck - meaning, since you broke it, you've got issues for quite some time." The witches looked at each other. "Oops!" |
| Meanwhile the Flying Monkey takes the flea to the Jester's new hideout which is an abandoned windmill at the edge of the haunted forest. "What news have you bought me?" the Jester says. "The witches and the night ghasts are on the move," says the monkey. The Jester says "How did you hear this?" The monkey reaches behind it's back and shows him the flea. "A flea?" The flea couldn't help but laugh. "And it's laughing?" The flea says, "I find you silly." The jester says, "Silly? You mean diabolical. It's hard to take me seriously. It's the costume. It's a curse." The jester then rips off his costume, only to reveal another one underneath. "I can't take this off ever." |
| "Haha!" said the flea. "I see why they call you the Jester." "Nevermind that," said the Jester. "Tell me this juicy info you are holding." After listening to the flea's story, the Jester rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Surely there is someway I can weasel in on their scheme and profit from it." Meanwhile, Princess Ozma was holding her own against the witches Theodora and Mombi. "Feisty thing, isn't she?" said Theodora. "Too feisty!" Mombi said. "You should have warned me." Princess Ozma raised her hands. "I want you two ladies to please shut up and listen to what I have to say." "Ooooo, a speech." Mombi said. "We're listening," said Theodora. Ozma clasped her hands together. "For too long there has been strife between the witches and the palace. I have read the history books and it goes back for centuries. I wish to be the one who changes all that. I propose a truce and to prove I mean well, I will offer each of you an important position in my government." "Haha!" said Mombi. "Dogcatcher? Garbage collector?" "No," said Ozma, "You can have your choice of a cabinet level position or a governorship of one of the provinces." "How do we know you're not lying?" "Lying! I am a princess of the royal family of Oz! We do not lie!" "They really don't," Theodora said. "I've never caught them in a lie." Mombi frowned. "This certainly puts a new spin on things. What do you think, Theodora?" "I think it would make our old age a hell of a lot easier than it's going to be if we keep fighting with the princess." |
| "Very well, then." Said Mombi. "We'll be happy to get in on this sweet deal of yours." "Heck," Said Theodora slyly. "We'll even throw in a pair of Night Ghasts for you. I hope you'll think of it as something of a peace offering." Ozma frowned at the instant and guiltless betrayal, but then thought of her beloved clock, mirror, and Museum. "That's... Very good to hear. How will you do that?" "Observe," Said Mombi, clearing her throat as she pulled out a mirror. "Cloak and Dagger! Attention, Cloak and Dagger! We've got the princess to surrender! Please join us in the throne-room for the formal ceding of power to us." "I hate these stupid code-names." Grumbled someone on the other side. "Oh, hush." Said someone else. "That's excellent! We're on our way, Vulkan and Venus!" Mombi waved her hand over the mirror. "The two miscreants'll be on your way shortly, princess. You may wish to summon some guards." |
| As soon as the guards show up, two flying monkeys crash in through the window, the witches have a surprised look on their faces "This is not part of my plan. Who sent you?" The two monkeys hold up a mirror showing an image of the Jester "Theodora, Mombi, Princess Ozma. Surprised to see me?" Princess Ozma says "I thought you died in the haunted forest." The Jester says "The reports of my death are greatly execrated, as for you Mombi, I plan to claim the throne, it's my lifelong dream to rule Oz and take control and turn all into puppets." He lets out a menacing laugh. |
| Mombi stared daggers at the Jester's image in the mirror. "That was clever of you to send your image instead of yourself." "I know who I'm dealing with," said the Jester's image. "Two of the lowest of the low. Your scheme to take over Oz must include me now." "Sorry, Jester, but it doesn't even include us anymore," Mombi said. "We've decided to switch sides." "What?!" "That's right, we're playing on Princess Ozma's team now. It's us against you. Sorry, Jester, you lose again." Angry emotions swept across the Jester's face, then he relaxed and smiled. "Very well, have your fun, but you haven't seen the last of me, and I still have the Flying Monkeys." "Except these two," Theodora said, as she grabbed the two monkeys holding the mirror by their wrists. "Bah! I have a hundred more just like them. Be alert, ladies! Be very alert! Because you will hear from me again, and it won't be fun." The mirror clouded over. "What shall we do?" asked Princess Ozma. "You heard him," Mombi said. "Be alert. Be very alert." THE END Thank you, writers, for a fun campfire! I enjoyed it very much! Skip your turn if you like, or make a comment. |
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