I think that I want to learn to ride a unicycle...






Yes, there's a good reason for this. I'm just not sure that I want to share it.














Okay, well if you must know, it's because John rides a unicycle, and is very good at it. I'd like for him to teach me.
 

"And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do
'Cause her hair was black and her eyes were blue
And I knew right then I'd be takin' a whirl
'Round the Salthill Prom with a Galway girl"
-Steve Earle

I'm really good about not disliking my body. I rarely think things like, "Gee, I should lose weight," or, "I'm fat." Instead, I work on my character, which I see as much more important than looks.

But if I could change something about myself, I would have pale white skin, black hair and blue eyes.

I have the pale skin, but I have the splotchy freckles that aren't my favorite feature. I have the blue eyes, even. But I do not have the beautiful black hair.

What I do love about my body:
My ears. They are tiny and perfect and beautiful.
My hands. They are strong, lovely, and my nails grow so healthy-looking.
My feet. But this is cheating. I just plain love feet.
My strength. I'm quite a capable girl, really. It's not sexy to be this strong, but I really don't care. I can take care of myself if needs be. And in the past, the need has been.
I used to have quite the junk in my trunk. It was nice, I was always getting comments, but I'm on my feet so much that my junk disappeared. So it USED to be a good feature. I just needs to find me a guy who doesn't want a girl with a big butt.
I honestly love being short. I'd much rather be short than be tall.
Somedays I love my natural hair color. It's so hard to define it's color... Today, though, I don't like it. To the point that I kinda want to dye it again. I want dark and bold... Black...
 

She's my best friend, right? And I really do care about her and want what's best for her...

And sometimes I just plain do things to bug her.

She hates swearing, right? And I swear so little that many of my coworkers are unaware that I swear except for my bi-weekly slip-up. Today, and just the swearing that I really remember doing:

The pepper shaker fell of the stove.... "Motherfucker"

"He's on my shitlist"

"He's such an asshole."

"Sorry I'm being so bitchy."

Plus the 8+ times that I don't remember doing it.

She hates any action that serves no purpose: ringing my bike bell for no reason. I ring my bike bell more when I'm around her than at any other time.

And finally, she hates it when things are in chaos. Now this, I do not do in order to bug her. I just am a chaotic person. There's always dishes to be done and laundry to be washed, folded or put away. (Right now it needs putting away... and has since Tuesday... Happy Sunday everyone!) She takes it beyond disliking chaos and to the level of, "Gar, your roommate didn't smooth down the corner of her comforter when she made her bed." She then walked across the room and straightened my roommate's UNNOTICEABLY bunched corner.

She turned to my bed, looking like she would do the same, when she again realized that I hadn't made my bed at all. She threw up her hands in defeat!

Am I the only one that purposefully bugs people?
 

The month of October, not so much, but April 1st? Lemme at it! I love the goofy names and the weirded out forum posts, etc. It's a blast!!!!

I can't spend all day here, though. If I could pick one day a year to spend here, this would be the day. Everyone is happy, unless they're irked at the tricks. Those people are boring anyway.


(okay, I didn't really mean it, you're not boring.)
 

Down: I stayed up until 6am finishing a history paper

Up: The paper is finished

Down: I was sleepy all day.

Up: The weather was beautiful.

Down: I spilled my $3 mocha after I'd only had 2 sips.

Up: Right before I spilled it, a cute guy went out of his way to offer to hold it for me.

Down: No one I knew was around to hang out in Reyne or the Commons.

Up: I spent some serious time in the Bible and praying.

Down: The wind kept blowing my pages and bugging me.

Up: I went to eat at a buffet.

Down: .....

Up: My best friend had really great news relating to her love-interest.

Down: I didn't.

Up: I saw Matt and Clark and we had an interesting convo

Down: I spilled 2 lemonades down the front of me.

Up: Both boys tried to help me clean up.

Down: ....

Up: I was really happy and I rang my bell on my bike.

Down: Hannah (my best friend) has a pet-peeve against unnecessary action, like ringing a bike bell.

Up: ....

Down: She got pissy with me.

Up: I apologized.

Down: She took my apology and threw it in my face and acted as though ringing a bell on a bike is the stupidest thing a person can do. "I HATE it when people say they are sorry, and they aren't, because obviously they did it." "I'm sorry that it bugged you, that's what I apologized about." "Yes, well that's your problem."

Up: I didn't cry.

Down: She acted as though I had no reason to be offended. She's got the 'always right' attitude.

Up: At least it was something stupid. I'd hate to think if it was something like I had gotten pregnant.

Down: I had to pretend that I wasn't bothered and hang out for another hour.

Up: Lank called. (my little brother)

Down: I missed the call.

Up: I called him back.

Down: He wasn't home.

Up: It's raining.

Down: The Rock Against Rape concert was cancelled.

Up: I still get to play in the rain.

Down: I have to work tonight.

Up: money is money.






And here's something funny: I just realized that I don't work tonight.... It's Darnell, Jenise, and Patrick, none of whom have ever done the front before by themselves..... I'm almost tempted to go in out of pity....
 

Is it just me, or are things in life really cool as of late?


Sorry if the same doesn't go for you.

I'm behaving as a child in the way that silly little comments make me giddy. And yet, I think that it's a good thing.

knee

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"Go Ahead and Ask Me" 
 

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Busy week, but not a "hell" week. I've worked every day since Wednesday, and I'm working everyday until Monday, except Tuesday. That's 12 consecutive days, and I have 2 papers due this week: 1 scary as hell one, and 1 "eh" one. Just trying to figure out how I got so many days.... Oh yeah, I'm complete pushover when it comes to scheduling days.... Gar.

So yeah, Darnell... Last year he was a really close friend of mine. This year we still act like we're friends, but in all honesty, I was in the process of forgetting why. Last night, though, we had the longest chat, and he warned me that a latenite worker was going to get written up, and that I should make sure that it wasn't me. (It's hard to pin the blame for anything that latenite does on one person, so anyone can get written up for any thing) But I told Darnell that if someone did get written up, I deserved it just as much as anyone.

All in all, we had a really good talk. I missed those.

Oh, I adopted a drunk last night, kind of. I was cleaning dining rooms, and I saw this guy asleep in the chair. We're not allowed to let people sleep on the furniture, but I was going to let it slide until I realized that he was covered in dirt, and that I couldn't tell if he was breathing. It was then my job to wake him and ask him if he was okay, but in doing so, I was not allowed to touch him.

Now, I must explain that one of my biggest fears is drunk men. This guy had 'drunk' written all over him. I was sure that if I did wake him, that he'd leap into a raging fury and hurt me. And although that should really have been the least of my fears, I still could not bring myself closer than four feet to him.

In being so near I could see that he was alive, that's all I really needed to know at that point.

I continued cleaning and when Pat, a regular customer, came through, he said, "Hey Josh, can't sleep in Reyne Cafe, bud. Wake up!"

"Josh" woke up and looked around. He looked over at me with the most child-like look I've ever seen from an tough, rugged, mud-covered drunk. I instantly 'fell in love' and decided to help him get home as soon as I clocked out.

"Are you okay, hun?" I asked. (All customers are 'hun' to me)

Yeah, he was.

Okay.

"He's one of my residents..." Pat said, "And he's covered in mud, what happened to him?" Pat's an RA, and could definitely get a drunk in major shit for sleeping in

I finished cleaning dining rooms, and he went to the bathroom.

I decided to go check on my drunk again. I wasn't going to let Darnell call the drunk police on him. When I got back to the chair where he had been sleeping, I figured that "Josh" must still have been in the bathroom, 20 minutes after I saw him go in. I got li'l D to go in and check it out for me. He said that the guy was sleeping.

I put away my cleaning supplies, got dressed, and clocked out. When I returned to see if he was out of the bathroom yet, he was watching TV in the dining room.

Me: Are you okay?
Josh: (small voice) yeah....
Me: Do you need help home?
Josh: (more certain of himself) No, I live over there!

----now, he pointed toward Residence #9, my home last year. But Pat had said that Josh was one of his residents, and Pat lived in Dee Hall, a 90 degree difference in direction.----

Me: So you're okay, then?
Josh: Yeah.
Me: Okay, sorry to be so annoying. I just thought that you were drunk.
Josh:

I probably should have told him that it was bedtime and hauled his butt back over to Dee Hall and gotten him in bed. But I had already acted pretty creepy around this guy. And if he hadn't been drunk, would I have been forcing him to go back to his hall at 3am if he wanted to stay and watch TV? No, that've been bad customer relations, whether I was clocked out or not.

So I hope my drunk is okay. My bet is that he fell asleep again, and that Melody kicked him out when she vacuumed this morning.

So yeah, about "him". This guy. The one that I want to be with. The one that lives 50 yards to my left... (that sounds stalkerish, oic)

Right, well he's avoiding me. I actually give him credit for it. It's hard to do in a group of 5 or less people. In large group he's much better at it. (I wouldn't have noticed that he was avoiding me except for large group. I would have just thought that he was being quiet in small groups)

So I'm going to take a hint.



Remember, self worth has nothing to do with John.










Only 7 more days until.... a day off. Well, I have all Tuesdays off, so I shouldn't say anything. But I really am tired.

 

So I look out the window to brighten my soul
But I can't control
The rain that keeps falling.

Again, basing self-worth on my ability to 'land a man' is not an accurate measurement.

I had been doing very well. Even with convictions about my spiritual life, and even with the changes going on inside, I'd been doing wonderfully.

Skip the next paragraph if you don't want to hear religious stuff.

(God called me to stop being spiteful and to start imitating him and love people unconditionally. I was grudging a very good friend for very minute things. Then he reminded me. He said, "Wait a second, I loved you enough to do dishes for you.... I loved you enough to forgive you of everything you had ever done wrong, and I didn't just forgive, I forgot about it. I didn't bring it up for kicks and giggles every couple days...." So I let him change me, and the person who I couldn't stand to be around for more than an hour or two without really getting angry with her? We had a real heart-to-heart, we actually talked a lot about God during it, but I also admitted things to her that in my past circumstance with her, I wouldn't have trusted her enough. God has also called me to lose my jealousy- he placed my family like it is for a reason. It will be amazing, whatever he has in store for us. He's done so many cool things in my life... This is the first time that I've had Christian friends whom I truly find genuine friendship with them, and I want to hang out with them on a regular basis. I want to just go to the mall, or eat dinner, or do homework together. I love these people.)

It's safe now.

Please note that I don't want to hide my faith from the world, but that I respect the fact that everyone is not comfortable with me shouting my convictions aloud.

But yes, self-worth has nothing to do with being engaged when I graduate from here in *sigh* another 3 years... Universities TRY to make everyone stay for 5 years instead of the traditional 4. Of course, it would help if I could afford to take more than 13 credits at a time... Gar, life.

School is not about getting married. Almost every girl I know has it in the back of her mind that if she doesn't find a man in college, she's just not going to find one.

I saw screw that. Men are not that important. (Not meaning that you don't have value, but simply that I'm not going to devalue myself just because I'm not engaged.)

Oic, there are days when I really wished that I used windows... today is one of them.... My CD/DVD drive does not work. I thought it was a software problem, but guess what? It's hardware. Like my printer, it's a physical problem. No amount of compy-know-how will do a thing for this problem. Gar.

So yeah, this is a Sunday of Reflection.

Thank you for your time.
 

THAT was fun. Despite a small amount of sarcasm, I really do enjoy scheduling. You get to pick your poison for the next year... And just looking at the list of class makes me excited.

Okay, so I'm a Hospitality major and a spanish minor, right? Well, you have to have junior status to get into a lot of classes around here. (It's a cheap trick to help people to become 5th and 6th year seniors... If they can't get classes they need until the 3rd year, they end up putting pointless classes in their schedule.)

Well, I didn't have to take even 1 class that I don't need. However, I've got a mathy-businessy year ahead of me.... Not a huge fan of either subject, but I'll do alright. It's just been 3 years now since I've had algebra.... But I know now that I'll be here for at LEAST another 3 years... You see, I still need 28 HTM courses alone in my 'senior year', plus an internship, plus all the silly little classes stuck in there. (I'll almost definitely have to quit my job my senior year.

Right, my schedule as of this fall:
Accounting 212 (eh)
Hospitality 101 (yay)
Spanish conversation and composition 322 (gonna be hard)
Statistics 215 (eh)

And this coming winter:
Business 201 (eh)
Creativity 310 (Don't be deceived. The coolest looking classes suck the most)
Spanish 300 (yay!)
Writing 305 (The junior-year required class)

It's good to know, though. My next year is going to be chock-full of classes with the letters HTM in them. (Hospitality is shortened to HTM)

So, yeah. I'm good.
 

I can never make a point when arguing. Hell, around most people in my life, I don't get a chance to make a noise when arguing, I just listen.

So, Hannah and I had another discussion that irked me today. If I took it personally, I could get from it a clear, "Shut up Susie, you're not a real person," spin out of it.

I decided not to take it personally. Basically she said that since I can't make my point in a argument, that I was wrong in every argument. "You go about life trying to convince people to do things, and when you manage it, you're right," is very similar to something she said today.

I just don't agree. A person isn't wrong just because they don't have a convincing nature. I'm not swayed easily in arguments. (I may seem it, but sometimes I just pretend to end a boring lecture)

It seems like I've been frustrated a lot with her lately. It hit me today that God knows every failure I've ever made, he's heard every complaint, and he's done me so many favors... And since I'm in this walk where I am trying to be just like him, why can't I forgive her again, and just do the little things that she asks for? I've prayed about it, fairly extensively, actually.

I've started fresh with her. I haven't prayed that God will change her, but that he'll change me. After all, usually the problem is in us and not around us. (I also think God is calling me to talk less about myself, at least in general. I need to shut up sometimes. )