I was starving(I think) I came home cooked spaghetti and ate standing up in the kitchen. I was so hungry, I forgot I was cooking cornbread and made plates before it was ready. Poor kids was waiting on cornbread to bake. Sorry! Now I've got food stuck in my chest. I still have more to eat, but I ate so fast I could hardly breathe and took a blog break. I love ya'll and want to wish you all a happy New Year! Praise God we made it!
 

This morning I was nice to hubby. Afterwards, like any other man, he was hungry. I offered to make him fajitas from the night before. I realized there were'nt anymore grilled onions and I asked if he wanted me to "fry him some onions" He looked at me in shock and said "damn- give me some booty and fry me some onions- You sure know how to make a man feel special. LOL

I've been doing a lot of writing. Well I write every day on lunch, but today and yesterday I've been typing up a lot of what I've written. Going through these notebooks, I've got so much written down. I'd forgotten the half of it. This story, I write as it comes to me. I may be takign a bath, and think- oh yeah, I remember when I cussed that doctor out. In hindsight, I don't regret the whole situation, because to write a book and tell the world what was done to me is the highest form of revenge. So I'm just writing as it comes to me and trying to stay semi organized. Then I can go back and put it all in order in my port.

I love ya'll- ya'll have a nice night!


 

Ok so yesterday I leave my desk to go get mail .When I return my phone is ringing and with a coat on and a handful of mail I answer. It's my aunt. hey Shanelle, are you busy? Now whenever she says that sentence in that manner it means she wants something. So I say, well I just got back to my desk what's up?

So she says- Do you guys have anything planned for the New Year?

Now like I said I was caught off guard and immediatly thought her and her boyfriend were trying to throw a party or something and invite us there. She has it real bad for wanting everyone to be in love with who ever's she's with. I'm sure you know that type.

So I go into this long story about how we'll probably be with my brother in law b/c they wanted us to spend Christmas night with them, but I had to go to work the next day and they live too far..... I'm just going on and on. Then I realize that I need to sort the mail and I tell her I'll call her back.

I call her back and we talk for like 25 minutes about random stuff. I get ready to get off the phone and she does what she always does- starts a whole new conversation.
She says-Well let me know if ya'll decide to do anything for New Years Eve, cuz the reason I called was to see if ya'll could baby sit. My boyfriend asked me what I wanted to do and I told him I would check with you cuz I don't recall ya'll ever doing anything on New Years Eve. Don't ya'll usually stay at home?
So, I say slightly sarcastically- WE HAVE NO CHOICE- WE NEVER HAVE A SITTER.
She chuckles a little then gets quiet. Then she says "yeah New Years is also our anniversary.
I say oh yeah I forgot- Ok I'll call you when I get home.

Now don't get me wrong- It's not about revenge and true enough I have yet to sit the baby. But we are talking about a person who NEVER sat my kids. She wouldn't even watch my kids the day before I got married. Called and cussed me out cuz I went to get a wedding night outfit and was taking too long. No drinking and bachloretting for me! Then the night we got marrried, she wouldn't watch my kids then. Anytime any holiday or anniversary for us came around she always had something to do, and on the rare occasion she did babysit, if she got the kids at 9 pm- she called all damn night complaining about this or that, or just wanting to talk.. Ever tried to have sex without three kids in the house only to have the phone ring every five minutes with questions like- Does the baby like to take a bath?
Then if we did try to take an opportunity to get drunk and pass out-guess who calls at eight in the morning saying that our kids have mysterioulsy gotten sick and we need to come and get them.(check past blog entries if you don't believe me)

I swear we would get so mad because there's no point in her babysitting if we got to wake up at the crack of dawn to come get them and you called us all damn night the whole time you had them.
And she never offered or failed to flat out say NO on holidays, anniversarys' hell you name it. She acted like a martyer for the cause when we went to Mexico and no one even asked her to watch our kids. My granddaddy was to stay at our house, but she invited them over there, then kicked him out cuz he was getting on her nerves! Huh?
So even if I plan to do nothing on New Years Eve, I won't watch her baby. Not as a form of payback, but shit she not gone be out kicking it til the sun come up on New Year's eve when I couldnt' even get a wig the night before I got married! Fuck that.
So today we talk and she shoots the shit, then says- me him and the baby probably will come over there tonight. (I have presents from me and my mom for the baby) I say ok. Then hubby says to me- you know it's Friday night. She gone try to leave her baby.
Here's my thing. Be a woman and ask me. I don't mind watching the baby tonight, but don't come over here on a pretense then say -"well ya'll are in for the night ain't yall- we gone leave the baby. That shit pisses me off. Her games piss me off. It's a shame because you have to evaluate every thing she says just to stay two steps ahead of her lies! A person saying i'm coming to your house, ought to be just that. You shouldnt have to wonder- damn shes coming over what is she up to.

Then to plan your outings around me. For you to say" hell ya'll don't never do nothing on the New Year! That pissed me off! You know damn well why me and my hubby don't ever go out! Let your dad watch your baby like we have to do!
A good friend of mine, my role model actually told me that i need to learn to say No. By God in 2008 that's what I'm gonna learn to do.


 

Happy Christmas to all. In short, we had a wonderful day! The kids loved all that they got, I was a bit nervous because we usually spend over 600 on them each year, this year Walmart has no layaway so things were different, we spent 200 but my mom helped a lot. They were so happy and said it was the best Christmas ever! We video taped the whole thing. We got a camera on craigslist for fifty dollars. It retails for six hundred. We went to hubby's grandma's house and had a great time.
In 2003, my hubby's two cousins and one of my former friends took a road trip, titled leave the kids at home, girls night out, to Houston. Today we talked about doing it again. She's preganant, so we plan to roll out after she has the baby. That is, if I can convince the hubby.
All in all we had a great day!
I love you all and remember there is always someone less fortunate than you. I love all of you!! Pray for someone today.
 

Hubby made me so mad today. Ok first of all we had a slight argument last night. No need to go into it, it was so minor, but don't you hate it when you are so over something but your spouse feels the need to "talk about it" Wow, I'm all for feelings but he was so acting like a bitch! Sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
Anyway, so we get passed him bothering me while I'm trying to take a hot bath after my half day at work and I decide to nap. I mean it's only two pm. I can fall back asleep. No, he doesn't want me to do that, It's Christmas eve and he wants to take the kids outside. I don't do hot or cold weather and to me fifty degrees is cold. He pisses me off enough that I agree to come outside with him and the neighbors. Once I'm out the bed and lipgloss on, I'm doing fine and I'm in the mood. We have a drink (let me rephrase, I had a drink because he's been drinking since he dropped me off at work this morning) So the neighbors cook burgers, we all eat, meaning me and all four of my children.
And hubby keeps looking at me crazy each time I say somehting to the neighbors. You know that look that says you said something wrong, but you hate to acknowledge the look because if you caught it, you think the neighbor caught it too and how embarassing is that? I hope ya'll follow me.
Anywho, he keeps leaving and going back and forth to our house staying gone for like ten to twenty minutes at a time. We're down there just talking and watching t.v. They want to play a game of cards.
So hubby comes back down there and says that my aunt just called adn she's on our way, we have to go. We leave and get home and he says that was just a lie, he just didnt' want to be down there anymore. I'm pissed at him becuase first of all, I was sleep in my fucking bed, you made me get up and hang out with them. Then we go down there and eat all they food and you ready to leave. That's not right. If you didn't want to be down there, you should have let me know that before she cooked dinner. Hell it's five of us, you don't eat folks food then leave. It makes it look like we're just meal hopping. I'm real big on principal and how folks may think about me. This is'nt the first time he's done this, we go down there to hang out, but after we eat, he's ready to go. It just really pissed me off, I mean shit either you like them or you dont' but don't embarass me like that. Don't eat all they stuff and then- ok, I'm repeating myself. That's how you know I'm mad
Now the asshole is passed out on the couch. I'm bout to post his ass on craigslist. fifty dollars you can have him.
 

Yesterday I didn't get out of my bed. That's right. Aside from heating up food for the girls and sitting my two year old on the pot, I spent the whole day in bed. I didn't brush my teeth, I didn't wash my face- if you can't do it from the bed, it didnt' get done.
Today I feel wonderful. Only hubby doesn't feel like going to the store, and our car is one of those that he now has to drive because of all the "issues" Oh, I didn't tell ya'll- we no longer have a bumper. But I don't want to blog about that today.
Point is, on Sat. or Sunday I like to wake up and cook a huge breakfast. But since he won't get out the bed to go to the store, I had to make due with what we have. And what we have is porkchops, rice and corn on the cob. So at one in the afternoon, a sistah is smothering porkchops with gravy, garlic toast, and corn on the cob. And since he said he wasn't hungry, I'm not gonna fix him a plate. We'll see how he'll like them apples. I'm gonna do some editing on my story. Ya'll have a blessed, safe day. Miracles happen everyday, today could be your day!
 

Today we went to Walmart and stayed so long that I had to pee real bad when we got home. Well hubby gave me the keys so I could rush in the house, but I unlocked the door so fast, that I really hadn't unlocked it at all- and was fumbling and he and the girls were laughing and I kept saying- oh-oh- don't make me laugh! It was too funny and I kinda pee'ed just a little on myself. HA-HA!
Well I got to the bathroom and found out that I need to buy those little pink pantyliners all the time cuz they caught all of my little mistake. My panties were still fresh and I wrapped up my laughter and threw it in the trash. So take it from me, Carefree is where you want to be!
Love ya'll!
 

Hey ya'll. I dont' feel good and I gotta cook mac and cheese for a pot luck at work tomorrow. Ya'll know a sistah thinking about going vegerterian cuz they done approved clone meat. THEY TRYING TO KILL US!
I love ya'll.
 

Lets talk about being grateful.
I've spoke of it before, but I think it's well to put on our minds. So often things go on in our life adn we think of what we need, and what we want,and what we don't have, and often the things that we worry about or things that we really don't have to have. The Bible says that we shouldn't worry. It's an insult to God. Look at the birds and the flowers. God provides for them daily. Surely he cares more about you than the birds.
Often times when you are stressed, that is when you don't pray. Why is that? Why in the very time you need prayer the most you dont? Like when you are angry. You know you need to pray, but you're so mad you don't. Probably cuz you want your pity party. Think about those folks you see on the news. Folks that don't have nothing. Folks are outside right now under the bridge and you worried about a light bill. At least you got lights. At least you got a home even if the lights get turned off. At least you are alive. At least you got shoes to put on even if they arent' the ones you want. At least you got food even if it is what you don't want to eat. Everyone reading this right now is blessed. Some folks can't even read. I love all of ya'll. Have a blessed day.
 

God is obviously trying to do something good for me because I am under attack!
First of all, I had to bum a ride to work cuz we didn't have any gas. Not a big deal I rode with my neighbor. Then, I get to work and hubby picks me up on my lunchbreak so we can get my check. He finds one dollar in under the couch money and puts it in the tank. When he gets to my job,he's on E. Hell, he never got off E to begin with.. (P.S- I'm not in a bad mood, this is not a rant) Ok, so we need to find someone close to cash my check. We are surrounded with options. The first place is closed, the second is closed as well. Mind you it is one fifteen in the afternoon-well after lunch!
By this time we are desperate because we are riding on fumes- We pull up to ACE check cashing. I don't fool with ace becasue they charge you an arm and a leg to cash a check. I walk in and there's this heavy set, on the phone, mad cuz she at work black chic. You know the kind that talk real fast like they've memorized their lines from a piece of paper. I'm asking her how much to cash my check and this bitch is still on the phone. She says huh? I say I'll wait for you to get off the phone. So she tells me it's gone be a five dollar membership fee, then two percent of my check. I walk out. TWO PERCENT! PLUS FIVE DOLLARS! Hell no!
Hubby says Hell yes, cuz we can't drive around on E. So I go back in. She's moving slow as molasses with other customers then has me fill out what looks like a job application. I mean references and everything! So I'm like- in a not rude, but lets say-professional voice- why do you need my social security number and references to cash a check? So she's rude and all kinds of shit. So long story short I fill out this booklet then the bitch tells me that my social is coming up as someone elses name. I'm like what? She's like- did you ever live at 9323 Forest street? I'm like yes, like ten years ago- well this isn't you. I'm like look suga, I am married now so my name has changed but my name is blah blah blah. So she looks at me and says, this ain't you. Mind you the bitch got a check with my social written on it, and my id. I tell her- give me that paper I just filled out- and I walk out. I am fuming at this point! I mean mad. First of all I been fooling with you for half my damn lunch break done told you my life story just to get a check cashed and now you trying to tell me my social is wrong- did you type it in wrong?

Ok so now we're fucked. I want to say negative things but I know I shouldn't. We creep to yet another check cashing place and they take me through the same hell again. Is this a bad part of town or what because i have never had such a time trying to cash a valid check! Finally I get my money, we get gas- I'm forced to by six dollar cigs cuz I have no time to go anywhere cheaper, and I'm back at work.
I give hubby all my money cuz he has to go get our tv out the pawn shop.

Did I mention that its forty degrees outside and raining...

My boss tells me i have to leave work early to run an errand. I call hubby but realize he's out running our personal errands. So I explain to my boss my hubbys out of pocket. She's cool with that and she'll run the errand herself.

Hubby calls me at 4.18pm. I have caller id at my desk. I see his fathers house number pop up. Disclaimer: He hasn't seen his father in well over a year- his father lives in south dallas You cant' get further across down than this ok? I live on George Bush- His dad lives on Malcom X. You can look at the names of the streets I just gave you and tell how far apart these neighborhoods are.

He says "baby I got bad news. The car. The water pump went out."
So I'm scratching the back of my head trying to figure out how in the hell he wound up in south dallas. I can't even facous on the car yet. He's telling me he heard the car messing up and the light came on and cuz our window is broke he didnt' wanna leave it on the side of the road so he had to make it somewhere so he made it to his daddy's house.
How in the hell was your daddy's house closer to my job, our home or , I mean, a number of places? I'm confused. He says he was on the way to the pawn shop and - it don't even matter- I'm convinced he was trying to go gamble and buy a football number and the car fucked up. If the car was gone mess up it was gone mess up but yo ass didn't have no business in SOUTH DALLAS. It's the principal of the thing.
Then I get off the phone with him- stand up, my shoe gets caught in my dress, and I rip my dress. I mean I am having a day! So I say "GOD WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR ME BECAUSE THE DEVIL SHO IS TRYING TO STOP ME"

I have grown spirtually enough to know when I am under demonic attack. I mean there is a blessing that GOD has for me, that the enemy is trying to get me to talk myself out of.

So I WANT MY BLESSING!

P.S. Hubby should be home any minute. He didn't call me like he was supposd to bfore I left work and since I had to bum a ride with my boss I couldn't wait around and I had his number written down but was trying to rush out at five even though I wasn't finished working but I was riding with someone else, you know, I was just a mess, so I think I left the number at work! But my grandfather lives like fifteen minutes away so he said he was gonna call him, and when i got here my great grandmother said he went to get my family and he needs to hurry back cuz she's hungry, so I figure he's on his way.