They converted the 4th down, got a touchdown, and couldn't get the 2-point conversion. 43 years of history flushed down the fucking toilet. Charlie Weiss will be very lucky if he has a job tomorrow morning.
 

I swear to God if they do not convert this 4th down then I will not admit to being a Notre Dame fan for the rest of this season.
 

Finally got the pumpkins carved. I joined Facebook. I like it a lot better than MySpace. I made Jason join, too. I scanned over 100 photos on Sunday.

I am tired. The past two weekends were all about my Uncle Steve. How dare he monopolize my time like that. To be serious, I don't mind his monopolizing my time. I just wish that he could have been alive to experience it himself.

I have to pick a student up and drive her to school tomorrow morning and probably the rest of the week, which means I have to leave the house by 7:15 am. I don't even usually start working until 8-ish, so I'm going to get paid lots of extra time plus mileage. Cha-ching.
 

I've been tagged several times now. The latest was from Joy .

Here's 8 random, or maybe not-so-random facts about myself:

1. I have a hard time dealing with death, as should be evidenced by my lack of talking about my Uncle's funeral since Wednesday. I'd rather focus the emotion on something else, like getting angry or spending a ton of money on a shopping spree.

2. I've barely had time to sleep, let alone write 8 random facts about myself in my blog over the past few days, so if you've tagged me and I've not responded until now, I'm sure it should be understandable by the following circumstances:

* My Uncle died one week and one day ago. That's pretty much all that I've thought about and had time to deal with over the past week and day.
* My cousin, GeminiStar , has been staying at my house since Tuesday afternoon, since she had to fly up from Florida to attend her father's funeral.
* My Grandfather isn't taking having to bury his son very well, so Jason and I have made a lot of attempts to spend time with him and my Grandmother to try to help him get through this.
* I had to hold Nikki's hair on Wednesday night because she is a lush and can't pace herself or handle a lot of alcohol in her system over a short period of time and I ended up having to "hold her hair" most of Wednesday night, causing me to be a bit sleep deprived on Thursday.
* Today was the first day of Ethan's swimming class so we were doing that and then spending time with my grandparents this morning and afternoon.

3. I'm not sure if those previous things said with *s count towards the 8 things, but whatever. I'm tired. I don't handle being tired very well, especially when I'm trying really hard to think about something other than my Uncle dying at the age of 49 and leaving a mess for his kids and my grandparents to try to sort out.

4. My Grandfather made me feel really horrible at dinner last night because he made it sound like I wasn't bringing my kids around enough and now he's scared that he's going to die and they won't know who he is or was.

5. My cousins' mother is a dumbass. That's all I'm going to say.

6. My Grandfather really respects Jason and has told all of my cousins that they need to guage all of their selections in men off of him. lol.

7. I have an itch on my back and I can't reach it but I'm too lazy to ask someone else to scratch it.

8. Sometimes, I have an attitude problem. I don't really have one today, but I have all of the makings for one.
 

I consider myself to be pretty considerate of other peoples' feelings and also sensitive to the particulars of other peoples' situations and resulting needs. That doesn't mean that I allow myself to be walked all over, either. I'm just tired today. Yesterday was exhausting and draining and didn't end particularly well. Because of that, today didn't start particularly well, either. I was already cranky to begin with.

Then I get into work 1/2 hour late because I had a headache to beat the band, and walk in to immediately have to leave and transport some kids who missed their bus to school. I get to the family's house and have to wait 1/2 hour for the girl to get dressed because she had to wear one particular fucking tank top and spent that time looking for it to never find it. The other kid at the house had to go to an elementary school where they never have the "available staff" to help out any of the homeless students.

Lucky for them, none of the administration was in the office when I got there because I wasn't in the mood to be nice. I think everyone had advanced warning to just leave me the hell alone.

I get all of the students dropped off to their appropriate schools and then returned to work. I got a call later on from another school about some students who left for a week and then came back. I asked the secretary I was speaking with to email me the specifics because then I would have everything written down and wouldn't have to rely on verbal communication.

Well, I get the email and the family had left for the week and returned because the mother got beat up by the person she had moved herself and the kids in with. That just sent me off on a new set of bitches because I can't stand it when parents travel a perpetual circle of abuse and fuck their kids up like that. It's sad and I hate it.

Now I get home. I knew that J and Ethan and I would probably get the evening as a family, but nobody called me to let us know as a considerate thing to do. So, no. I wasn't pissed off last night because I was the DD and everybody got drunk. I wasn't in a bad mood at all last night. I volunteered to be the DD because I have more important things to take care of - my kids. I'm pissed because I didn't get a call to let me know that you wouldn't be home for dinner. I had already assumed it, but it would be nice to know that you considered the fact that we may not assume that and wait for you to come home and eat.

Anyway, I'm tired and cranky. I hope nobody takes it personally. I'll probably be better tomorrow after a good night's sleep. In the meantime, I'm wiped. Yesterday was a long day, and today was just not a day to do something to make me upset because it hasn't taken much.
 

My Mom sent me her eulogy for her brother to look over and let her know if there was anything worded awkwardly or something that shouldn't be said. I can't even get more than five sentences into it and I'm bawling like a baby. I shouldn't be spending my weekend doing this. I should be excited and happy and looking forward to the week ahead, not dreading the next few days and especially Wednesday.

I don't know if I have the strength to get through Wednesday. They're doing everything in one shot. The visitation, followed by the funeral. I'm scared to see him lying in the casket. I'm scared to see my Grandparents, hearts broken. I'm scared to see my Mom and my Aunt and Uncle Tom with the reality of all of this in their eyes.

I'm angry with him, too. I'm angry that he didn't go to the doctor on Wednesday, when his shoulder was hurting him. I'm angry that he didn't go to the doctor when he first started feeling short of breath. I'm angry that he let himself die. I'm angry that the last time I'm going to ever see him again is lying in a casket, stuck in an eternal sleep.

I'm angry at God for doing this to my family. I know that Uncle Steve's in a better place now, but I don't want him in a better place. I want him here with all of us. I don't want to have to see my cousins' pain because their Dad is dead. I don't want to have to go through all of this.

I. do. not. have. the. strength. to. do. all. of. this. right. now.
 

I think my head might explode. I cannot wrap my mind around last night or believe that my Uncle is gone. You kind of prepare yourself for an order of death. You know, your grandparents who aren't healthy, your grandparents who are healthy, any older people you might know. It never crosses your mind to think about your parents or your Aunts and Uncles when they aren't even fifty, yet.

My Mom was having a really hard time with the news last night. She and Steve were always close. I mean, they are exactly one year apart. It's hard not to be close to someone who you grow up with who also shares the same birthday as you.

My mind is in a sort of cloud right now. I feel like maybe this is just something I'll awaken from and find out it was just a horrible dream. It doesn't feel real or possible.

My Mom thinks he had a pulmonary embilism, although we won't know for sure until after the autopsy is complete, but it makes sense because he had circulatory problems in his legs.

Jason went through this about 12 years ago with his Uncle Bill, so he has been really good at helping me through those moments where it does seem real and I still can't wrap my mind around it and do nothing but cry. His Uncle was struck by a semi while riding his motorcycle and died en route to the hospital Jason's senior year in high school.

He said once we went to the visitation and funeral, then I would have to wrap my mind around it because it would be more real. I don't want it to be real, though. I don't want to go to the visitation or funeral. I don't want my Uncle Steve to be gone. I don't want to wrap my mind around this.

I don't know what to do or feel. Right now, I just feel like my head is going to explode. My Mom is supposed to call me this morning and let me know if she needs me to come with her to my Grandma's. I'll have to pull it together for her and be strong because she might not be able to be.

I do better when I have to be strong. When my Grandpa Worden died, I had to be strong for my family. I couldn't be the one who lost it because they were already worried about me because of the pregnancy from hell with Ethan.

Everyone I loved has died in September, October, or November. I hate fall.
 

It's been more than a week. DSL problems. I go to sign on and just got a call from my Mom. My Uncle Steve, GeminiStar 's dad was found dead at home today by my cousin Sheila. They think he had a blood clot. I'm devastated. I was really close with him and am close with all of his daughters.

I feel like I'm going to be sick. I can't even call Nikki because I can't find her phone number. I can't imagine what she's going through now. I can to some degree, but not completely. I loved my Uncle more than I love my own father.

Ya'll please pray for Nikki. She is going to need it.
 

My sister, Kimberly's, birthday is today. She's now 25 years old, still living in my parents house, without a job, without a degree, without a driver's license or a car. I'm wondering if she'll be there forever or if she'll eventually go out on her own. The small amount of time that she did spend out of the home was spent hopping from a couch in one state to a couch in another state, where she stayed with friends she met online.

For my sister's birthday, I hope that she is able to become responsible for herself and become independent. Eventually.
 

CJ is already teething. He's getting his bottom-front teeth. Both of them. One is almost broken through the gums and the other has made a nice bump. It's made for a very trying week because he screams in absolute agony and there isn't much I can do to help him. He shouldn't even be teething yet.

I called the cops on another neighbor. The mole people have been burning all afternoon since I got home from work. Seriously, I'm not one who is going to call on someone arbitrarily and it's beautiful outside and I can't enjoy having my windows open in my house because these jerks have been burning for what seems like forever. The only way they won't get a citation is if it isn't in an approved container. I doubt that an approved container would be able to create enough volume of smoke to fog my whole house from almost a block away. If you want to burn shit, fine, move to the fucking country and out of the 'burbs where your neighbors are right on top of you and have to be bothered by your smoke. Be someplace where the only people you bother with your bullshit are yourselves.

Ethan's been wanting to sleep on the floor in his bedroom the past few nights. I don't know why or how he even finds that comfortable or how to get him back on his bed sleeping. It hasn't effected his ability to sleep or anything, but it doesn't mean I should encourage it, I guess.

Anyway, I just stuffed CJ full of formula so I'm hoping he'll let me rest for a bit. He's been fussy all night because of his teeth. Homeopathic teething tablets have been my savior the past few days. I'm going to watch Private Practice and snuggle with J for a bit. Later!
 

OK, so if you sent me an email and it's been more than a week since you sent it, I am never, ever going to get to it. I'll be lucky to keep up with the ones I'm getting now. I had 300+ emails in my inbox and it was too overwhelming a task to try to catch up on all of those. How do I get that many emails?!

I'm not complaining. It makes me feel important to get emails from y'all.

I can relax at work a little now. The database is compiled and the first wave of reports were sent out today.

Anyway, CJ is getting fussy so the stuff I was going to write about will have to wait.
 

I got this one off WeightWatchers.com -

Mexican style bean casserole:
Ingredients
1 sprays cooking spray
4 cup cooked brown rice
1 1/4 cup salsa
1 tsp ground cumin
15 oz canned refried beans
10 oz frozen corn kernels, thawed
4 oz canned green chili peppers, mild, diced
1 Tbsp chili powder
10 oz chopped frozen spinach, or collard greens, thawed and set to drain in a strainer over a bowl
3/4 cup low-fat shredded cheddar cheese, divided
2 Tbsp cilantro, fresh, chopped (optional; for garnish)

Instructions
Preheat oven to 375ºF. Coat a 2-quart rectangular, round or oval baking dish with cooking spray
In a large bowl, combine rice, salsa and cumin. Spoon 2 cups of rice mixture into prepared baking dish and spread out to evenly cover bottom of dish.
In another large bowl, combine refried beans, corn, chili peppers and chili power. Using a rubber spatula, scrape bean mixture on top of rice layer and smooth out top.
Squeeze out any excess water from spinach or collard greens and then spread on top of bean layer; sprinkle with 6 tablespoons of cheese. Top with remaining rice mixture and smooth out top; sprinkle with remaining cheese.
Place casserole on a large rimmed baking sheet to catch any spillage. Bake until heated through and cheese is browned and bubbling, about 30 minutes. Sprinkle with cilantro (if desired), cut into 6 pieces and serve.

I served it with 6 tortilla chips, 2 tbsp of low-fat sour cream, and 1 tbsp of taco sauce. Very, very filling and delicious.

Tomorrow is Jason's turn to cook so we'll end up with a meat and potatoes kind of meal. Not complaints about that. I just wanted to have something different the past couple of nights.

OK. I have 3 points to spend in a half hour, and I'm not really very hungry, but I have to use them in order to do right by the program. I love it when that happens, even though it's a pain to find something to eat that's exactly 3 points.

I know. Email. Getting to it. I promise. I have to get the kids ready for bed and laundry folded, and then I'm going to do it. I hope. Unless something happens, like I get too tired, which is a big possibility. Blah. This responsible, working parent thing is really hard work. Especially with a newborn.

 

You know, next time I go joining WW, I need to make sure that I have enough food in the house to account for some lighter eating. I get 23 points per day, but if I have whole cheese, not low-fat cheese, no skim milk, very few fresh fruits/veggies, and none of the healthier options of rice and things like that, I find I have to work really hard to cook things that aren't 2000 calories per serving. Maybe not to that extreme, but it did make it difficult.

Last night, I made a casserole out of my own recipe. I forgot that I have an uncanny ability to look at what I have in my pantry and pair the stuff that sounds like it will go together and make a decent dish about 90% of the time. I have had those failure that make the family want to vomit, but on the whole it usually turns out yummy.

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 cup uncooked rice (any kind - wild if you want the healthier version - I used white because that's all I had)
2 tbsp. margerine or butter (I used ICBINB light)
1/2 cup milk (skim for healthier, I used 2%)
1 can Campbell's condensed cream of mushroom with garlic soup
1/2 cup finely shredded colby jack cheese (use skim or lowfat for healthier option)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Pour rice in bottom of ungreased glass casserole dish. Add chicken breasts on top of rice. In separate bowl, combine milk and soup. Mix well. Pour soup mixture onto chicken and rice. Stir with fork to work into rice. Divide butter/margarine into five sections and spread through dish. Top with cheese.
Bake for 45 - 60 minutes until chicken is cooked thoroughly.

Makes 4 servings (1/2 breast with 1/2 cup of rice mixture)

Total points per serving with my recipe: 9
Total points per serving with healthier options: 8

My database got creamed yesterday. The AC went down in the server room over the weekend and the servers were up and down all day yesterday. I was working in it at one point and the server crashed and I lost connection to the database. When the server came back up, I tried to access it and it got corrupted beyond repair. Two days of work gone down the tube. I was supposed to have it done yesterday and then reports out by this morning, but of course that time frame was blown out of the water. I got everything back up and the data reentered this afternoon before I left. Now I have to rebuild the reports so I can run them. Hopefully, I'll have the reports done tomorrow morning, since our absolute last day for changes in the database is going to be Friday and the building liaisons have to get me the updated information.

I think I'm going to restart the couch-to-5K program next Monday. I'm going to give myself a week to adjust to the new eating habits (note that I didn't say diet because it isn't a diet - it's a lifestyle change) and then hopefully I'll be able to run a 5K by December. There's one called the Run Through the Lights in downtown Kalamazoo that's free and I was planning on running it last year until I found out I was pregnant.

Then I want to be running a 1/2 marathon by April/May. That's 12.something miles, folks! I'm either highly ambitious or incredibly insane. Maybe it's a little bit of both. lol.

Oh, and I'm 159.3 pounds, so I've gained about 5 total pounds since I gave birth. I've lost some weight since my 6-week PP appointment, but I think it was water weight. I want to get back to 140 pounds again.

In the meantime, I hope to be able to actually read my email. I'm almost caught up on laundry again so maybe I'll get the chance tonight! Don't think I haven't responded because I'm ignoring you. I haven't responded because I've not had the time.
 

not like I'm ever going to have time to get on the computer at home, since CJ has this radar and knows whenever I'm doing something like eating, getting online, or going poop... but I started back on weight watchers today and I don't have a points journal yet so this is where I'm going to store it...

oatmeal - 2 points
1 tbsp honey - 1 point
coffee w/creamer - 1 point

breakfast = 4 points

quaker oat mini delights - 2 points

snack = 2 points

starkist tuna kit - 5 points

lunch = 5 points

total for day so far = 11 points
11 points left

I haven't even taken my weight or anything but I'm going to when I get home. Hopefully since my MIL is sticking around because she has to go to a meeting on my side of town maybe I can get on here, check my mail, and actually join online. I don't have time to go into a meeting. I still want to lose weight, though, and WW was the best program I've ever done since it actually changed my eating habits.

I just need to get used to eating for one again is all.
 

I'm really damned tired today. I feel like this grind is never going to stop. I'm always going to be running around on fumes.

CJ had his 2 month well-baby today. He's 13 pounds, 11 ounces. 23 1/2 inches long (really 23 3/4 but they go by 1/2s at this dr's office). He's in the 95+% for weight and smack in the middle of the 50-75% for his height.

Talked to the doc about his poops because he is still having the occasional hard poop after a day or two with peanut-butter poo. He said that he wants us to consider delaying him on solids until 6 months and that if he seems like he's having a really hard time going poop to give him 2 ounces of water with 1 tbsp of karo syrup, but he doesn't want us to do it a lot because he doesn't want him to end up getting too much sugar.

He also suggested delaying vaccinations until CJ is over 2 years old because he isn't in daycare and Ethan won't be in school until then. He said there's no reason to vaccinate if he isn't being overly exposed to the diseases and such. I wanted to kiss him on the lips for saying that since I went through all of that stuff with Ethan and still ended up being pressured into the immunizations.

Everything is going fine, though. He said my husband and I make wonderful babies and that we're going to have a hard time because we're going to have two active, incredibly intelligent little boys. I had to smile, since we already have our hands full.

Did I mention that Ethan's starting to read? Not like 10-dollar words or anything. He's recognizing single and double-digit numbers along with single letters and letters in succession of one another. He can say the sound they make individually. He's also drawing shapes like circles, rectangles, and triangles. He's counting to 35.

By the time he gets to kindergarten, he's going to need to be in the third grade! LOL!

I was talking to CC at work about that today, too. She asked me, after listening to Ethan talk and count and identify everything the other day, if I was going to try to skip him ahead in grades. I told her that educationally, he would probably need some kind of challenge to keep him interested in school, but socially he's at the level of a 2-year-old. I'm not going to throw him off socially because he's advanced educationally. I'll just have to find some kind of program that challenges him and then when he gets to like high school or whatever, he can do the college level classes offered through the high school.

Anyway, enough about that. I brag about my kids because I'm proud. Not because I think they're better than other peoples' kids. I just wanted to make sure I said so, in case someone was thinking I was trying to imply that.
 

I don't know why I thought that the stuff that happened at the end of the school year last year would go away and be something I wouldn't have to worry about as far as work is concerned. I was wrong. It all came back to rear its ugly head today.

Don't get me wrong; I love my job. I love what I do. My immediate boss is really great. Her boss is the one that likes to make things difficult.

It's frustrating because there's already enough that I have to do without worrying about what her latest problem is with my boss or whatever. I just hate playing these dumb power games and all I want to do is help the kids that I'm being paid to help. I don't care about the politics and I don't care about trying to make myself look good for the new superintendent. I just want to do my job to the best of my ability without being stressed out because she wants to bully and micromanage everyone.

I came close to applying for an assistant's job with GKGOTR but decided against it because I don't want to leave my boss in the lurch. Plus I really like my job and big boss can't be around forever, right? That and I don't have to deal with her everyday so it isn't that bad.

I figured I wouldn't have to play the politics game as much when I started with KPS. It's not Pfizer. There isn't nearly the corporate culture, since it's a public school system, but there's still politics.

All I kept telling myself today was that I was there to be an advocate for the students. I'm not there to make friends. I'm there to make a difference. I can do that whether I like everyone I work with or not.

There's a whole bunch of other stuff going on that's been making things stressful there, too, but it's been manageable because I haven't had to deal with the politics. There's some schools that do a really great job advocating for their students and making sure they go above and beyond the call to ensure that they go back and forth to school everyday. Then there's others that act like they're there on their own personal agendas which have nothing to do with the students.

I just don't understand how one school can transport a student 10 miles home from school for three days in a row and another school has a problem transporting a student .8 miles home from school.

"We don't have the funds available to pay the mileage and overtime to transport this student home from school."

I don't know what this principal is smoking, but .8 miles means she'll spend like 60 cents on mileage, round trip, and it'll take 4 minutes, round trip, to transport. The maximum the transportation would need to be done is like three days. So, if she wants the damned $1.80 to transport the student, I'll give it to her out of my next paycheck.

Like I said. I love my job. I love that I make a difference in peoples' lives. I just hate that I have to fight people I shouldn't have to fight in order to help said students.
 

I want to scrapbook really bad, but I can't because all of my scrapbooking stuff is in storage and can't come out until the front room is done. I would finish the painting, but J still has to sand the damn windows and baseboards. That's all that's left besides a little touch-up on the ceiling where he got the dark red on the crown molding, but otherwise the room is pretty much done.

Don't let that fool you, though. There's 8 windows and a door, so there's a lot of painting left. I have to tape off the floor, the wall around the floorboards, and the wall around all of the windows. When I did basically the same amount of taping (after J got red paint all over the crown molding in one corner), it took an entire roll.

Anyway, I've mandated to him that if that room isn't finished this weekend, he can't go on his hunting trip in November. Not that I really want him to go being that I don't get to go anwhere for five days this year, but he deserves to have some time to himself regardless of whether or not I can find something to do to get away. Plus his Mom is going to let me stay at her house during that five days so that I'm not trying to wrangle two boys all by myself.

But none of that matters if he doesn't get the front room done. I'm serious in my ultimatum that if it isn't done he doesn't go. And yet, he's sitting on the couch. The weekend is still young, yet, but there's still a ton of work to do.
 

I have a crapload of work to do and I shouldn't be sitting here goofing off, but I am. Nobody is in the office but me. I think there was a meeting that CC and JB had to go to and they forgot to tell me that they wouldn't be here this morning. BA (the new secretary) is at her other program being trained so it's just me this morning.

Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention the whole secretary situation in the office. I won't go too much into specifics because... well... it isn't professional, but MG, the secretary hired at the end of last school year, got bumped by BA because BA's position at her school ended. Since the secretaries have a union, you can bump someone who has less seniority out of their position, so BA bumped MG out of our office, even though she isn't quite as proficient at the things she needs to be in order to perform her duties in this office. But that is a whole 'nother story and I'm not going to go there because I'm not that kind of person. I just really miss MG because we had gotten to be pretty good friends in the couple of months she was here.

Anyway, last night, J and I were watching the news before we went to bed. It was the 10 o' clock shit news on Fox, but at least we could find out what was going on in the world, even if it was slanted and biased and sometimes a little ridiculous. They had a story about some domestic dispute. I kid you not, the story went something like this:

"He pushed her off the dock, then she got out of the water and punched him in the eye."

... ...

Well at least Fox News is good for a laugh or two before bed.

Anyway, I haven't exactly been living in a cave but I had no idea about this whole mess going on in Jena, LA. I don't plan to sit and blog about my opinions on the situation, at least not too much, since it's being beat to death everywhere.

J and I got into an argument about it last night, though. He tends to have some racist views, which generally don't bother me because he doesn't say them around the kids and he doesn't talk about it to me and he doesn't say anything to anyone that would be demeaning. As long as he keeps his own opinion regarding race in check, I don't care what he thinks. It's not like I'm out making him be an activist for the African American community or anything, so we've just agreed to disagree about our opinions in this aspect.

His Mom isn't racist, and his Dad isn't racist, but his Grandpa is and I have told his Grandpa to keep his opinions to himself when he's made comments about race around Ethan. Like one time, we were watching a football game and they had some black singer performing the national anthem. This particular singer decided to add all kinds of runs into it and really draw it out, which I've seen white and black singers do. Anyway, he starts yelling at the TV, "Oh, why can't you just sing it right you black bitch!"

Yeah. Ethan was sitting in the next room, within ear shot. So I chewed J's Grandpa's ear a new one. I don't care what he thinks about people because he has the right to his own opinion, but I will not have him teaching my children to be intolerant of anyone because of race, religion, etc, through his example. He can either choose to keep his mouth shut or not see his great-grandchildren because I will not tolerate it whatsoever.

Anyway, Jason picked up that kind of behavior from his Grandpa. It also doesn't help that he works in an area that has a high population of African Americans and it's also a neighborhood that has a high crime rate. It doesn't help that the homeless shelters are within walking distance and that the "bums" (not the homeless - there's a difference) come to his work and ask for handouts. There was one particular guy that's black that is a little crazy came in several times and ended up having a restraining order put against him. J tends to pay attention to that kind of behavior out of the black population more than he does the fact that there's a white guy that lives across the street from his office who sells drugs.

So, we're watching the story on the Jena 6 and J starts going off about Al Sharpton and how he hopes that those boys rot in jail because he can't stand Al. To be honest, I don't like Al either, but I don't feel that any of those boys should be in jail being tried as adults for attempted murder unless the three white boys get tried as adults for commiting a hate crime. I tried to explain to him that regardless of what Al Sharpton says, most people who are protesting the Jena 6 are doing so because what's good for the goose should be good for the gander. They want the white boys involved to be punished, too, and think that the Jena 6 shouldn't be charged as harshly as they were.

"Well you can't go around the world beating up people because they pick on you." That was his reasoning.

"What would you do to our son if he hung a noose over the tree of a black families home?" I figured I would see if he would at least try to understand where the rest of the world was coming from.

"It depends on the family."

Does it really matter? Whether or not he sees them as "good" people or as leaches on society, does anyone have the right to treat someone else like that? I can promise you that if either of my children ever did something like that, they would be very unlikely to see the light of day for the rest of their lives unless they were volunteering to pass out lunch at the homeless shelter or something. And if they had any friends that did something like that, they would no longer be allowed to be in the same room with them, let alone talk to them ever again.

I understand that he has his opinions and he has a right to keep them without my agreeing. People are going to be racist. I have some racist tendencies, but mine are more towards Mexicans, but mostly only Mexican men. I was stalked by one of the migrants who were working for a farmer in college and had to get a restraining order against him because he followed me home from work one day, so whenever I see a group of Mexican men and they're looking at me and speaking Spanish, I get paranoid and have the tendency to want to flee the area. But I try not to let that control how I treat a man just because he is Mexican. And I certainly don't say things out loud, especially in front of my children, that put a person down just because he is Mexican.

Anyway, I just don't know what I'm going to do with my husband sometimes. I knew how he was when I married him, and I accepted it because it wasn't that bad. But now that we have kids, it makes me nervous. I don't want my children to grow up being intolerant of someone because they heard their Daddy talking about black people and how much he didn't like them or something.
 

At least, not in these photos: