I'm feeling very stressed today...My arch enemy, Time, is the source of my angst, as usual. My goals for this weekend were too ambitious, I didn't get them all done, and I get totally frustrated with myself. It's masochistic! I need a super chill pill.
We had a fun day yesterday at the fair with Logan & Brooke, even though the crowds were a bit overwhelming. I was glad that the girls didn't want to wait in the marathon lines that some of the rides had. Instead they found 4 or 5 that they thoroughly enjoyed- the maze of mirrors with the slide at the end and the dragon coaster were the two favorites. When Brookie found a ride she liked, she wanted to go on it "just one more time", again and again. We just stood on the sidelines, waving. Her excitement and pure glee was contagious. And then I had ANOTHER Elephant Ear, and it was delicious, again. Actually, to just say it was delicious does not do it justice. It was the best thing I've put in my mouth this year.
This afternoon we visited Celina and Brian at their new home in Powhatan County. She was so excited about it, truly happy to have the home she's wanted for so long. And we had some chili she made, which was wonderful. Annie & KC live 3 houses away, which is wonderfully convenient for us. Now we'll get two daughters at the end of the nine mile drive out to the country. Economical!
I did write some prose this morning at the kitchen table, but scratched the whole thing out when I decided it was maudlin, hokey, and just plain BAD....Hopefully tommorrow will be more productive. I'm going to have to break down & go grocery shopping...ugh!!!!!!!...Bye for now.
 

The Virginia State Fair
Ah, the fair. It's comforting to know that it doesn't change much from year to year. (Except they did move Bruce's fajita booth to another location which was somewhat unnerving to him)..
It was good to see our old friends again, the Future Farmers of America, Kochunga the Alligator, and the Virginia Fancy Feet Cloggers...Did you know that you could farm in water? Have you ever thought about giving square dancing a whirl? (Or do you just want to get a pretty poofy skirt and pretend?)...How about the exact location of all your neighborhood sex offenders?...Don't worry if you miss the Kitchen Craft Waterless Cooking Demonstration in the building you just left, there's at least 3 or 4 more in the buildings to come.
And the animals are magnificent. Baby pigs, baby ducks, momma pigs, momma ducks, a momma cow waiting for her calf to arrive...the endless array of nature's diversity makes me feel insignificant and undeserving of my membership.
Any day at the fair holds a prize, every time. This year it was the Nigerian Pygmy Goats. We talked with a passionate woman who answered every question we posed to her. She had eight "kids" under the age of a year and each one was completely different. Personality and then some. Jumping in the air, butting their heads on the way back down, very social. She sells a minimum of two at a time because they'd be miserable alone. We were both enthralled. And we thanked her and asked for one of her cards. You never know what might happen. Afterwords we watched the goat competition in its' entirety and learned from the judge all about the gold standard for the breed. The attachment of the udders is paramount in importance, together with a flat back and long neck. Fascinating.
Before we left for the day we pondered what delight we would allow ourselves since we'd not splurged on anything yet. (Well, I did get a huge bag of penny candy, but I didn't eat it all yet...). An impossible decision: Neither of us would choose the Jumbo Smoked Turkey Leg, which we both felt was unwieldy and totally unappetizing. Sparky's Crunchie Pig Cracklins had us divided...I was mortified at the booth advertising Goat Kabobs and Curried Goat and noticed a scarcity of customers there, Thank God. The usual array of fried foods were displayed, with a few new additions : Fried Dill Pickles, Fried Corn on the Cob, Fried Green Beans, Fried Pepsi. Only at the Fair. We both finally decided on an elephant ear "to go", mine with cinnamon sugar, his with bavarian creme. Was there ever any doubt? We really enjoyed ourselves and are already thinking about what we'll see and do on Day #2 tomorrow.

I'm an author!You can find my work at http://Writing.Com/authors/acp751
 

TODAY (cont'd)
I practiced my guitar today while Brookie watched the Backyardigans-Practice really does make me play better, but definitely not perfect...Baby steps...While waiting for Logan to get off the schoolbus this afternoon Brookie & I drew chalk pictures on their driveway. We invented the magical hairy turtlefly-a beautiful creature.
TOMMORROW
The Virginia State Fair is in town so Bruce & I are going tommorrow. He gets season passes every year-To say he loves the fair is a gross understatement. It's right up there with the Marine Corps birthday and the first day of hunting season in level of importance. We usually go one day just the two of us, then a day with the grandkids. After these two visits I've usually had enough, but every year he drags me there at least one more time. A couple of years ago we saw a calf being born-amazing, and to think that I complained about giving birth to my youngest, Katie, who weighed 9 pds, 10 oz. (I don't ever let her forget how truly horrendous labor was with her)...I'm babbling, must get to bed so that I'm ready to tackle the day tommorrow. Have a great Friday!
 

TODAY
Just a short hi while I'm awake. There's nothing like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a diet cherry coke at 2 am, but I need to get back to sleep...Today will be a "GRAND" day because we're taking care of one of the grandchildren...(get it?)...Four year old Brookie is such a sweetie...When I get there at 7:15 am (ouch) she will be sitting on the couch with Hippo, watching the tumblebunks or something else that sounds like that. I actually like the children's shows these days...my favorite is the pets that rescue everybody...Sometimes we watch Spongebob, who is very mischievious and naughty, but always lands up on top....(Moms don't like this show very much)...
I'll be back later to enthrall you. Have a great Thursday!
 

TODAY
I love my "free" days. A free day is any day in which I don't HAVE to do anything.This is quite different from a day in which I've planned to get certain things done only to find at its' end that I got nothing done.Those are my "lost" days and I hate them.
There is no laundry to fold, no groceries to buy, no running around that has to be done. Today holds so much promise and I want to navigate it wisely. The beginning of the journey is here with you. The starting gun fires now.

YESTERDAY
How embarrassed was I yesterday at my guitar lesson? Brett had barely sat down when I spewed at him a litany of excuses as to why I didn't practice the guitar last week and why I was going to sound horrible and how he would probably need ear plugs...I'm sure he'd heard diatribes such as mine many times before, but I should have known better. As I was driving home after my lesson debacle I realized something, with enlightened, all but latent, clarity. The old self fulfilling prophesy had kicked in. I am normally a devoted advocate of the "act as if" principle in approaching those moments in life I truly wish to avoid...Be an actress and pretend this is a treasure of opportunity, embrace it. Convince yourself, then do the thing you dreaded and see the light in it. This has worked for me on countless occasions. The nice thought is that if I work hard this week AND apply my success principle, he'll be pleasantly surprised to find out that I'm not the self indulgent brat I showed him yesterday.

TOMMORROW
One of the things I've been thinking about is installing a comment field here. I'm sure my readers would appreciate a little soap box time. Also, I'm feeling a little strange talking to the void of no response. If I build it, will you come? What did you say? Oh, that's right. You have no way of telling me your answer. I'll get working on that.

My time for words is over. You've lifted the starting gate and I'm on my way. Have a great one.
 

This will be short, but not necessarily sweet. It's Monday (AGAIN), time to apply for two jobs I don't want AND to two companies I hope don't want me either. This is fortunately not a difficult task. Once this is accomplished, I can get that glorious check on Wednesday. Very sad and it makes me feel a little sleezy, but I get over it. I put in my time (and money, lest we forget) for 30 years and those nerdy little government guys owe me. Hopefully they don't have time to read incriminating blogs like mine. I would surely be denied my weekly compensation and I'd have to face the music that I'm currently unemployable as a freelance writer.

Other than that compelling task my day is an open book. This is a very stressful way to live-only those who have ever been unemployed will understand this. I am on a ship in the mid-Atlantic, unskippered and floating dangerously towards that jutting tower of a rock against which many have perished. I should be excited about this day of possibility, but I spend too much time trying to figure out WHAT I should do as the hour hand comically whirls around the face of the bird clock.

OK, I must start doing something. I really just want to write, but I can't do that all day. (Well, actually,I could... but my husband would think I'd completely gone over the edge, his blood pressure would skyrocket...He's even more stressed than I am...)

I do need to practice my guitar before my lesson tommorrow. It's more than fair to say that I am not an accomplished musician, and when I don't practice I'm downright painful to listen to. Poor Brett. I imagine that some weeks the money I pay him seems grossly inadequate. There are also many mundane chores I need to complete. I won't bore you with the details because I'm sure that right now you're busy making lots of money at a job that you find dizzingly fulfilling

A final thought. I think I need to have dermitage. I saw it advertised at the bottom of a page, with a picture of some poor woman's wrinkled face, and I thought it was me. She looked really wonderful after getting this done...Also, has anyone tried the new Cocoa Krispies cereals straws? I had six of them this morning and thought they were quite tasty! Have a great day everyone. Please keep checking in on me. Think of it as your good deed for the day.


I'm an author!You can find my work at http://Writing.Com/authors/acp751
 

I'm startled awake from my myopic fog by the perky song of the titmouse on our bird clock. The hour hand has marched around it's face like an out of control electric meter. I vaguely remember sneaking out of bed at 3 am and turning on every light on the way downstairs because it was so dark. I'm drained and don't feel like turning the damn lights off. I look around me to get my bearings...the coffee pot on the counter is empty-That explains my twitching hands and racing heart. A paw with sharp nails scratches down the length of my calf. Squirt is gazing up at me with her pitiful watery eyes as if to say, "Have you forgotton that I might need to go to the bathroom?". Only she would crawl out of her warm bed under the covers to follow someone who doesn't even notice she's there for God knows what reason in the middle of the night. Now is the moment of truth and I lower my head to see the war zone that is my story. Even I will have trouble deciphering the few surviving words I decided could live to see another day. I've been sitting here for hours, my hand shading my brow, unable to pinch the words from where they must be crouching behind my aching eyes. I've decided to save a little evidence of this labor for my first entry into my first blog. It is what it is. I am a writer, and on days like today, it hurts.