World Domination Guide (Book) http://www.Writing.Com/main/books.php/item_id/1392894-World-Domination-Guide Ok. So, I'm bored and the Henchmen are doing a stock inventory. There's no-one in the cells to torture and I've given my Gold Card to The Clown (my second in command). Just to look after, you understand. I check out the DVD selection in the lair and come across my complete collectors editions of Xena: Warrior Princess and Buffy: The V...[Read Full Post] Sat, 23 Aug 2008 11:41:02 EDT http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/603366 You know how it is; sat up late at night flicking through the channels because your mind just can't shut out the worries of work. Stop! There was the answer, right in front of me... "I'd been working in the lab with some kidnapped Russian scientists when Sergi came up to me looking worried. "It&#3...[Read Full Post] Sat, 23 Aug 2008 11:39:48 EDT http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/603364 Just like knowing if you're gay or straight everyone knows if they're born black hat or white. I hated the Lone Ranger. I preferred the evil Spock (the one with the goatee). I loved the dress sense of Ming the Merciless and when I first saw Fenella Fielding in Carry on Screaming... Well, lets just say that I simply wasn't destined to ha...[Read Full Post] Sat, 23 Aug 2008 11:38:09 EDT http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/603363 I was overseeing several of the Henchmen make repairs to #1 missile silo, when Phillip raised the alarm. It seemed some sort of vessel was approaching the island. Well, It would never do for any would be foreign power to find us napping, so I told the lads to sound a few klaxons, flash a few red warning lights, and jog around the dock with their Kalashni...[Read Full Post] Mon, 25 Feb 2008 09:05:20 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/569877 Luckily, it was Fish Market Day in the City of Luxembourg. This meant that The Clown fitted in easily and Al (infamous drunken Russian spy and new best friend to the Fulcrum of Evil: Me) fitted in like an infamous Russian spy. We'd lost Bonde as soon as he bounded off the Acme Jet in full camouflage fatigues; he cunningly blended in with the Lu...[Read Full Post] Wed, 22 Oct 2008 09:56:16 EDT http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/569876 Don't ask me how. Al (Alexander Rasputin Konoonska - the infamous Russian Spy), and I were drunk. We must have been, because we were sat in my Ornamental Fish Pond, fully dressed, with extra underpants on our heads; trying to ride Snappy, my pet 'gator. I don't think he wanted us to, because he tried to bite my face off and got his jaws ca...[Read Full Post] Mon, 25 Feb 2008 09:02:18 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/569875 Spring had sprung at the Lair and, before The Clown could pin me down to filling in the tax returns, I'd hidden away in the basement (the last place that the Henchmen would look for me!) Boxes and packing crates, that once held components for evil devices, littered the place. Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machines grinned at me alongside the ot...[Read Full Post] Mon, 25 Feb 2008 09:01:19 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/569874 I couldn't stop my palms from sweating. It had been six months since I'd last seen the most beautiful (and deadly) woman in the world. Now she was on her way home, having secured the 'Dali Package' from the Spanish in 'Mission: Melty-Clock'. The Clown kept rolling her eyes at me as I continuously plumped cushions and turned u...[Read Full Post] Mon, 25 Feb 2008 09:00:15 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/569873 So Minty had gone. The Clown had helped keep me busy since the Viking Funeral but there was still a hole where my beautiful pet Great White had been. I'd catch myself saying silly things to captive spies about throwing them to the shark; only to look a right idiot as I apologetically had them shot instead. Every now and then I'd catch The Cl...[Read Full Post] Mon, 25 Feb 2008 08:58:44 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/569872 "Oh-my-gosh! How spooky is it out here in the dead of night?" "You never been down here skinny-dippin' with the lady ninjas?" "No! Have you?" "Let's just say that Ho Min Chi Lui is very nautical! Eh?" "I didn't know she sailed. I thought she was one of those nubile-double-agent-kill...[Read Full Post] Wed, 22 Oct 2008 09:52:40 EDT http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/569871 Sergi Romanoff headed over to his favorite workbench in the lab. It was the one with all the funny little games adorning its pock-marked and chemically stained surface. He fiddled with his Mobius band, twiddled with the metallic Cat's Cradle and piddled about with the Magic Eye picture for good measure, even though he could never see the dolphins...[Read Full Post] Mon, 25 Feb 2008 08:57:13 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/569870 I'm often asked about my goal of World Domination and whether I see it as a tangible reality. I have to be honest and say that sometimes the hum-drum daily grind can obscure the clarity of my vision! As foggy as it can get though, there are certain dreams which are worth pursuing, not just for yourself, but in an attempt to impr...[Read Full Post] Mon, 25 Feb 2008 08:49:46 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/569869