I always say learn it, love it, practice it, and embrace it...hahaha jkjk
more later..

ok here is a little last minute poem I am adding to the blog for today only becuase I just wrote the damn thing lol..its for a contest I wrote it for another site it was supposed to be to Sinead O'Conners song, "Nothing Compares to you" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rO8JWbG6bVw ..what the lyrics meant and all the rest of that good blah lol..

Of course I'm not actually going to write out some long essay on the "Theory of Confuzzlement"..lol and least not yet.
Darn I guess I will have to fill this all in tonight..should be intresting.
song Airborne Toxic Event- 'Innocence"- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL_NcoCJgzo

Ok so I 'm back..having had this page open and ready for me to begin typing, truth be told for hours. I think I will just enter in the gibberish I was doodling today.
It happens to go along witht he strangeness that was this day, well yesterday now. I woke up like every other day, and was going out when I noticed a cat in one of the trees in the front yard. I Love cats, so the first think I did was over to look at it and hope it would come off the tree and see it on its way. Except, I looked at it and saw its position and knew right away, it must have been dead. To make it even more strange, it was an all black cat. An all black cat, dead, and in my tree, this close to halloween. If I were a superstitious person (that much so) I would probably be paranoid at this moment. I admit I may have had a few thoughts of such things wash over me. Mostly though I think my sadness and bewilderment, trumpted everything else. I mean of all the many cats in the nieghborhood, out of all the houses and trees. It was my house, in my tree? So odd, and I was sad for the cat. It looked like it belonged to someone. Though it hadn't been sporting a collar, it looked clean and fluffy. To much so to be a stray. Most of the cats in the nieghborhood, eat birds,and whatever other little animals may fall prey. I thought maybe it was either poisoned or ate another animal having gotten ill from it. Whatever it was. I still can't get over it that weird coincidance. Also today I had made myself catch up on some much needed rest. So sleep I did indeed. But before the sleep I was trying to write a little bit. Strangely, I allowed myself to come up with a bit of nonsense..incomplete as well...but I thought why not put this strangeness in along with this entry, seems quite comfortable here...

"I like the color of black ink, I also happen to be allured by its smell. Something in me craves to ride on what both those things invite. Somehow a signal to my brain that dances with the invitaton it gives, to use it to my every liking and still hold its sencerity. All focused on and profusely aided by such marks. The words and letters I had learned to write, to inscribe onto pages. Inside lines or blank pages, with my eyes. And those eyes, what grand magic they breathe, a life of their own. In my mind make pleasant magic, reveling in memory, all that they have seen and told. Words as passages, mingling in the shadows. Revealing themselves, only when called by name, or specifically seeked for. As if by chance, they do come, as if having been awaiting their return to the present.Those memories in mind, truths unhidden. Corrupting, fullfilling, touched again as if forbidden. And oh how they do love to dance with emotions. Strumming so eagerly the vulnerable heart strings. Notice how loud that heart can play, soothing an errupting sound of happiness. Reached deep down, if it's tried, down to the depths of dismay. Lingering like a beast in wait, stealth it practices upon its prey."


^^^ that is all I got down....then I had to go and fill the stomach ....I have been writing more..not in excess by any means, but more than not, more than I had been. Though I swear I must have at least 20 poems I have started but am unable to finish at the moment. Come next week, or sometime shortly after, I will return to those unfinished poems, and find a few, and find the right way, of how to complete them. Thinking as I always do in these cases, " well duh-why didn't I think of that before". Others of course will have to wait longer, if not forever to be completed, if not lost and forgetten. Owell, until then..I think I will leave this as todays/yesterdays post..till my next one...

Quote: "Every artist, was first an amateur." Ralph Waldo Emerson

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I was taking a look at someone elses blog, found by random chance. I really enjoyed this poem they wrote. It is called "Beyond the Darkness" take a lookey if you'd like. http://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1468945 it was pretty good i thought. .
 

I don't know what to say, it all seems so jumbled and confusing at the moment. First off it seems everyone is going through their own sort of crisis, whether of the heart, or life, and on so many diferent ranges. I wish everyone coulds just be relaxed, and happy, but I suppose that would be asking too much. It's one person after another..not getting the goodness they deserve. There I am just hanging back, wishing I could help somehow, but not knowing how. More so problem being that I can't.

Guillemots- Sea out (piano version) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RYysWmjD2A&feature=related

Well today, I was on fbk ( face book) and I was looking round for a few people. I suppose just random people, every once in a while i think back all the people I have known, and all the people that have gone, or I have left. There is this friend who is in the military, and thinking of him, reminded me of someone I once knew.

It was 5th grade when I first met him, he was in my class, and even for some time sat next to me. Truth be told I didn't get along with him, not many cared to. He was in my school in elementary, and then also in Middle school. From Seaside Elementary, to Calle Mayor Middle School. Two places, both in life, and in my past, that will always hold a huge importance to me. For many bright and negative reasons..So this guy who went to my school, his name was Joe. Not to be harsh, but he really was kinda one to be an outcast. He had his few friends, blended into the background of the crazy " we think we know it all" crowds, me included. I did not get along with him much, probably stemming from when he would annoy me and steal my pencils in 5th grade. So I may have held that annoyance with him all through till 8th grade ( if and when we shared calsses). I ended up leaving Calle to go another middle school. I lost touch with pretty much every one from my days in Torrance, the city I grew up in. Things had happened life had moved forward, by then I was far past used to people coming and me leaving from each others lives.

So to make a long story short, many years later in time , in life, living in a different city. I was watching the news..and it had said that 5 soldiers had died and 3 soldiers had been missing in Iraq. Unfortunately that wasn't anything new, but one of the names I had heard them say caught my attention. All of a sudden, I knew there was something familiar. A name I had forgotten, and would have swore i wouldn't ever hear or need to be remebered of again. Though there it was " Josaph Anzack Jr." He and 3 men had gone missing, and there had been no word yet if they had been found, let alone any idea of where thay might have been being held.

I remember my heart raced, it brought alot of memories, and alot of mixed feelings about the situation. I was scared for him, someone I had never before cared for. For about the next week, the had been constant news coverage about the soldier from Torrance, missing after having been ambushed. For days his family was shown talking on the news, praying and asking for prayers for his return. Praising his character, and his ambitions, having done what he had alwas wanted to do -join the army. Everyday I too honestly hoped for his return, thinking how ironic it was that he had actaully been the one to go out and do something, selfless and purposeful. Instead of most of the kids back then whom had rather ignored him, thinking they were any better. After what seemed like forever, it was finally stated in the news that Joe's body had been found in the Euphrates River. Mutilated, and ...well..sadly he had been killed. I couldn't believe it, no matter what we were like as kids, that was something no one deserved, I felt horrible. I know his family and friends would be devestated. They were, as shown on TV. memorials, and vidsuals. I saw they people I knew from my past, talk about him in the most sincere way. I saw that there must have been alot I missed after I left. Glad there were many to speak on his behalf.

Unfortunately with that came announcments of his funeral. To be held at South High School. Another place I had known well. It all felt surreal, something I would have least expected. I guess I was just somehow reminded about all of this, back to thinking about life. Where people are now, and where they aeren't. How much things have changed, how much people can changed. How things can be so unexpected. Or how things, always were, but weere just too blind to see them... I think I felt some guilt..ok I felt alot of guilt because I hadn't been the kindest, or even tried to be nice to him. I felt like total ish. I ended up writing a poem about it, I needed to get it out of me. I think Iearned a lesson in that moment..perhaps a lesson of humility. To be kinder, to not take people forgranted.
I might post the poem later I 'm not sure.. its been over a year since his death, but it is something I will never forget, and a name I will never forget, ever. I was looking on fbk, thinking I am sure someone would have started somthing in his name. Sure enough they had. "Prayers for Joe" http://www.facebook.com/group.php?sid=190d1df153c5d4f3628942882d040011&refu...

Seems he had become quite the person, in my absence, nice to hear. I also was bombarged with so many other familiar names of old friends in this group. Adults no longer kids. Away with the class comp's, and the dolphins,to pitbulls, to Spartan's , mascotts..and yet all still strangely pulled together. To show support for this one person. It was great to see, and also sad as hell, and I still feel a pang of guilt..if I had been a friend, instead of not giving him a decent greeting. I mean it's not like I was terrible to him,I just didn't really bother to be kind. Of course I think we all had our weird issues we were dealing with, but I suppose that is no excuse. So I guess basically what I am trying to say, is in those silly class " most likelies", " who would be most likely to be a hero", if we could all go back..I am sure everyone would write " Joseph Anzack", or just "Joe" as he prefered-really insisted to be called. So I guess this is just my way of paying him my respects once more. R.I.P...."Joe"..

I think I just got all mushey thinking about school days and friends, how we thought we knew so much. That we had experienced so much, and really hadn't much of an idea, of all that was to come. More, strange, complicated, useful, and fullfilling, and non-fullfilling dreams we would all have. All the things that were to come, and now still all the many things lying in wait even now to be revealed.

I know there was something more I wanted to mention, I may have to come back and get to that...but until then...this is what was on my mind. amongst many other things.. I will try to come back and get those down too...so much, so little time.

Quote:
" An original writer is not one who imitates nobody, but one whom nobody can imitate." ~ Chateaubriand

-Lue





 

Well another Blog entry. It seems I am getting one done every other day. Which is better then none at all I suppose, got to get my butt in here more often!
Its not that I don't have things to say, its just still weird for me to be writing them out, so all can see. It would defeat the purpose I think if I privated it. I want to share, I just am more cautious on the words I use, and are cautious with the words I write. One knows the mind, can get crazy, thinking, and feeling one thing one day. After some time realizing, it was ...something...

Well there are two things that get me really hyper, Candy-it seems my sugar highs, are a little crazy..I get silly and just drunk like lol..but I have fun..the other thing that gets me "going" is music wether it's mood music, or dance music, or everything inbetween music. It dictates my mood heavily. So today was a dance day! *paartaay* lol..Although the song I found myself dancing to, was unexpected. I am not a Brit fan ..lol..but there i was dancing to "slave for u". To which I blame Lana, because well...because..lol

Brit- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuZKbXNGDs4&feature=channel

So I had fun doing the girly thing..woot woot..*dance dance*

I think It would be SO much fun to take dance classes, there is so much to learn, and perfect. Keeps you fit, and in good spirits. Pole dancing is something I would love to learn. AND I MEAN as in a hobbie lol..seems like so much fun. I have never actually taken classes, for any dancing.. but I learned how, as most people find a way to..

I remember when I was little and my aunt bought me a little red tutu. I think I loved it more becuase it was red, and not the typical pink. Though I did love pink when I was like 3 lol..I probably would have taken classes, but things came up and i never got the chance. Maybe I will still one day.
Wow I had really expected my 3rd entry to be of something important and telling about me, but I guess I missed that mark lol..Here's hope for number 4!.

and the quote for the day:

Quote:
" Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." - Langston Hughes

Ok so Finally I get to mentioning that i was sponsered to be a Rising Star by Taya! Woot woot and much flove to that woman! lol. :O its gone!!
I was surprised, and super thrilled. and couldn't be more happy about it. Of course I also had alot of encouragement from Chris Lonewolf - Catching up
I am excited to see all that I get to learn and do from this. *Does a Happy Dance*



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FINALLY!! I swear I have come to this same page at least 4-5 times. Ready as ever to write my heart out. Each time I ended up distracted, or interrupted. Or I had saved it and lost it..haha..aiy!.. Finally, I have come to start and complete my second entry!!. There really is just SO much to write..and it will all come out eventually.in time...Well i had come here to write journal material, but I have been listening to this song, and it reminded me about someone. Thinking of him, made me type this craziness up while I was here....( yes, made !! lol..i could't help myself..)

the song is by White Apple Tree- "Snowflakes" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfYdpJ_9r8Q << beautiful song...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *sigh
My poem

Funny I should name my first entry "Sleep", when really I am doing the exact opposite. I should be sleeping, but i prefer to take advantage of the quiet and uninterruptedness of the night.er..early morning now... I named it sleep after a song I have been stuck on. I seem to get stuck on songs often..I fall in Love with songs not as often.. though..some not lasting, and others forever if that makes sense..at least songs are easier to fall out of love than people. I can sometimes find myself playing the same one song over and over all day, if not for longer.

The song is "Sleep" by Azure Ray- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeLNjUxz5CI&feature=related

I have been listening to this song over and over, along with every other Azure Ray song i can find..I really am enjoying the softness, and calm of their voices, it puts me in a mood..lol.. and I have many..

I usually write in a notebook, my journal entries..but I haven't at all lately for some time. Lately though I don't seem to be making time for that, since I am now mostly writing things in the Laptop. I have thought over the idea to start a blog for probably years..lol. but I never really actually got to the point of 'starting' one.
Until now of course....I LOVE collecting quotes, and songs, and anything I find intresting or thought provoking. Though quotes, and songs, and poems..seem to be best useful to me..I love poetry, I love to write it, and love to read it..there seems to be something special about poetry. Something that either gets lost or found by the reader, enticed by the passageways hidden amongst the words. Hopefully they get lost in a good way..lol..

I have been on WDC since February 08, although I did kinda leave during the summer. I came back and met more great new people, special friends. All of whom I flove dearly! I have my own little WDC family, couldn't ask for better..

I have had a few people write poems for me, and of course I adore them for their thoughts..lol.. so I have been thinking its about time i return that favor..or favors...lol..of course I am not a big fan of my own work, so It may take a while till I am fully satisfied with the finished product..and still they don't come out masterpieces lol..but good enough i do hope..

I also am finally coming out of my little bubble i seem to have been in.I entered my first contest on wdc, I really don't much care for a win, But I think the effort is worth it enough.

I guess maybe every entry I will leave it off with a quote..I love discovering new ones..so maybe someone might as well..

Quote:
"I have dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind." - Emily Bronte

^^ Funny thing about that one is I got that off a chamomile tea box , but what can I say..
This I guess would be the first entry to a blog I plan on writing in everyday. I will try my best..So welcome to the inner workings and confuzzlments (you'll soon see) of my mind..

-Lue