2009 Journal (Book) http://www.Writing.Com/main/books.php/item_id/1510966-2009-Journal It's warm today, like spring, but too early. I guess things will start to sprout then get frozen. I feel a little like that, too. I want to work and love and write and paint, but the anger and depression follows and nips the enthusiam in the bud. And here I am in the crucible of life thrashing against the cold and finding no comfort....[Read Full Post] Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:44:40 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/684500 I am becoming deeply entrenched in Hebrew. I love it! I have begun the work to assemble the Lenten Devotional Calendar. I fell less confident about the Prayer Ministry. James David's parole is being revoked. He has behaved really badly, not criminally, just foolishly.Carol broke her foot, sort of. The doctor called it a separation at the joint....[Read Full Post] Mon, 18 Jan 2010 15:14:53 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/684266 James David spent New Year's Eve in jail. It sounds like a bad thing, and I guess it is, but I don't think it was intentional. Stan talked to JD's Parole people and told them he had been to Carol's house. He had told us that it was OK for him to be there. That was a lie. On Thursday morning they picked him up at work. He called me t...[Read Full Post] Sat, 02 Jan 2010 07:31:42 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/682066 My second entry for today--the first one was in the wee hours when I couldn't sleep. Maybe this one will make sense. It is time to write down the goals and dreams and hopes for the New Year. I do have some, but I have hesitated to put them on paper. It's funny how that act changes me. If I do not accomplish them, I feel a sense of failure re...[Read Full Post] Sat, 02 Jan 2010 07:33:29 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/681364 I had a wonderful time with my daughters at Becky's house. We laughed and talked and told stories and worshiped together. I know Carol was tired and glad to get back to her chair, but I was so glad all of us could share this time. Something sinister is brewing with Bubba. I'm not sure what, but he is getting desperate. He wants to be with us...[Read Full Post] Mon, 28 Dec 2009 02:21:41 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/681250 It is Christmas Eve. I am depressed and angry. I am also exhausted and mad. Where do I go to sign up for the Hermit class? I want to be alone. Thu, 24 Dec 2009 08:52:35 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/680888 Darla just called about the Chistmas blessing for Carol. They want to deliver it tomorrow. I guess I'll go over this afternoon and try to clean up and straighten up so they can get in. I really pray that it helps Carol and cheers her. and blesses all of them. Mostly I pray that the chair will be a comfort for John since his distress is visited o...[Read Full Post] Tue, 22 Dec 2009 10:15:55 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/680698 I'll call Carol later and wish her a happy Birthday. James David is having serious problems with his back and compressed or injured nerves. He called me from the hospital last night. He had gone to the ER. He did get some medicine, but it was just refills on what he was already taking. He said the doctor was referring his to a neurologist. His ...[Read Full Post] Mon, 21 Dec 2009 09:56:58 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/680590 I am sitting at the computer just because I enjoy it. I have communicated with people on Facebook and played at my farm. But now at WDC I have really come home. Here I have a few friends and work I need to do and joy to share and reviewing waiting. Sounds like a busy day. I am thrilled. Thu, 17 Dec 2009 11:32:28 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/680198 Tomorrow starts Birthday week. Nicki on 17th, Mary on 18th, Carol on 21th. This was always the week I hated Birthday Cake. And how do you buy Birthday presents in the middle of Christmas? Much less how do you prepare for Christmas when you are so big and miserable you can't move? But on the other hand, nothing makes Christmas more meaningful tha...[Read Full Post] Wed, 16 Dec 2009 23:19:35 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/680152 Last Sunday I placed flowers in the Church in memory of my father, but the bulletin said they were in memory of Frank. I loved Frank and I do remember him, but since Daddy's birthday was today I wanted the flowers to be for Daddy. I just wanted to see his name in the bulletin. It was selfish and I know it, but I was very disappointed. Carol went ...[Read Full Post] Wed, 09 Dec 2009 23:14:44 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/679383 "A day that will live in infamy" How true. But there are many of those days. Is it enough to mark them? Or should we rather learn the lessons and change our behavior? God, there are so many others to note and so much more to change. Not only war, not only hate, not only violence, but the secret sin that polutes and destroys. Reveal to me my...[Read Full Post] Mon, 07 Dec 2009 09:36:57 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/678980 Katy is spending the night with me. She has great plans for tomorrow beginning with pancakes for breakfast. We will run a few errands and take Carol to the grocery story. Then Carol will go with me to take her home and she will spend the night and go to church on Sunday. I lead a very busy life. Ah so....[Read Full Post] Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:06:50 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/678748 My birthday was yesterday. Yeah! The sign posts that mark the years of my life remind me that someday it will be over. I thought I had things to do and tasks to accomplish, but somehow it seems like it's just time I have to fill. Depression is a great sucking mire that darws me into its depths. I can't find any way out of it....[Read Full Post] Wed, 16 Dec 2009 23:04:14 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/678623 Bubba got his car fixed today so I can quit getting up at 5:00am. Carol gets her staples out tomorrow. Katy is going to spend the weekend with me this week. Things are going so well it seems I would feel better and more positive and happy, but the colonoscopy still looms over all--a week from tomorrow! That seems to be where the world stops. I canno...[Read Full Post] Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:50:47 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/678227 I turned in my Latin translation today. We talked briefly about the differences in John, Romans, Genesis, Exodus and Philemon. He mentioned that the translation was a "weighty" document. He will email me when he has completed his evaluation. I have been looking at Cicero's "De Senectute" but I may not do anything about it except r...[Read Full Post] Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:56:20 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/677358 Becky and her girls, Mary and Tracy, and Carol, and I went out for supper and came back to my house and talked and visited last night. It was fun. Becky can't take me to the hospital for the colonoscopy because she and Chris have to go to Austin that day for him to be interviewed the next day. He hasn't heard from the Sargeant's board yet,...[Read Full Post] Sun, 22 Nov 2009 06:44:16 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/677173 I am beginning to dread the litany of disgusting events that seem to characterize my life. I did see the GI doctor and am now scheduled for a colonscopy. Ann called last night with problems related to Nicki's situation. Her husband is living wiht another woman. Maybe she will get a divorce and get out of that problem. Bubba called and wanted me ...[Read Full Post] Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:33:38 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/676981 I have neglected to write for a long time. I keep trying to get back to it, but I have discovered a strange thing: When I am experiencing painful events that I hesitate to talk about, I find them hard to write about too. Sometimes writing would get me a chance to vent and feel relieved, but it also makes them more tangible and toxic. I have to face r...[Read Full Post] Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:01:47 EST http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/676006 I've had a strange week. Maybe they all are. But Monday I had a rather gross and disgusting bout of bloody diarehha. I already had an appointment with the doctor for next week so I didn't call anyone about it. I guess it worried me more than I wanted to admit, but today I shared my concern with the prayer group. I have felt totally relieved ...[Read Full Post] Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:36:16 EDT http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/673834 It is almost midnight and I couldn't sleep so here I am at the computer. I can't seem to get motivated to write anything though. That really makes me mad. I want to write something, anything, a grocery list, maybe. I'm not sure whether to blame old age or depression. Both sound like cop outs. Laziness is more reasonable. Sometimes if I...[Read Full Post] Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:53:45 EDT http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/672941 I hate to wake up too early and find that sleep won't come again. I have the discomfort of body aches and thought pains, the brain lost in sad reminenses or unlikely "what ifs." All the dead ends and corrupt ideas that hide in daylight emerge and consume my mind. And lying in bed is the last place to find peace or rest. Thank God for WDC!...[Read Full Post] Tue, 20 Oct 2009 05:56:56 EDT http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/672542 I am bogged down in severely muddy relationships. Most of them are with my children who seem to think I am wealthy and a fool in the bargin. I am certainly not wealthy--about the other thing I not too sure. I do love to translate Latin to English. I do love to read and write. I do love to love people, but I don't get off on being duped. My best...[Read Full Post] Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:58:23 EDT http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/672021 I haven't written in my blog in so long that I am sure it feels neglected. I do. I feel more and more like a hermit. I like to read Thomas Merton--being a contemplative doesn't sound like such a lonely life. I might get to like it. Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:52:39 EDT http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/669979 Fall is here--September. And it is cooler already. It may heat up again, but my favorite season is within my grasp. I have begun to help Becky learn to sew. She is doing very well, too. She has learned the first important lesson--you may have to rip out as much as you sew. She has finished Katy's first dress and is half done with Shania's. ...[Read Full Post] Wed, 02 Sep 2009 18:46:01 EDT http://www.Writing.Com/main/books/entry_id/666239