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 Content Rating Notice: Recommended for Readers 18 Years and Older Only |
| >> Book >> Other >> ID #1526919 |   |
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| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** No one should Laugh at Life! That's Life's Job - Laughing at us. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** According to Chinese Horoscopes it is the YEAR OF THE TIGER! G-R-R-R Here's a writer that will make you laugh! I swear she is Erma Brombeck reincarnated! Take a look!
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| 4. Fort Hood Mourns | ID #675014 |
| Posted: 11-6-2009 @ 10:35 am EST | |
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Today, after the horror and confusion of yesterday, the military base in Killeen Texas mourns. The communities surrounding the Fort, Temple included, pulled together to assist those who were in need. Mother's ,whose children were in a locked down situation, are reunited with their children. Imagine a mother's terror. Husband in Iraq and they are at work. The child in day care at Fort Hood. It was insane. |
| 3. Another Link in the Logs | ID #674457 |
| Posted: 11-2-2009 @ 10:57 pm EST Edited: 11-2-2009 @ 11:09 pm EST | |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The setting is the Heavens and the scene is set at a small cafe that serves only the best cappuccino, and at reasonable prices. A lone figure seated at an outdoor table sips her drink and watches the passersby. A tall authoritarian figure is seen marching up to the woman. "Mother?" "Yup. But please call me Mama T. All my boys do up here!" The tall male figure shakes his head hard, side to side, just hoping he had not heard her call him one of her 'boys'. "Um, Mother listen, there has been a development I'm afraid..." His voice trails off wondering how on Earth he is going to explain this situation to the holy woman. "Bub, just spit it out plain and you will feel so much better." The woman giggles and sips. Now she called him 'Bub'? If this got out, Gab would never let him live it down. It would be "Bub, there's someone knock, knock, knocking on Heaven's Door!" or "Hey Bub! I think this call is for you!" He really needed that with the stress of his job. "Sit. Sit down. You want me to get a crick in my neck staring up at you? Sit, boy, sit!" She sounded like she was training a Springer Spaniel. Maybe if he asked Noah to talk to her. He had a way with unruly women. Must have been living on that ship so long with them. Taking a seat, tentatively, the Big Guy didn't appreciate slouchers on this job, he began again, modulating his voice to a deeper more serious tone. "Mother, there has been a development down there, about you, rather, about your remains." He hoped he had put it delicately enough. "Oh, you mean my dust? My ash? My ash and dust? Sounds like a tune my boys would play doesn't it? Ash and Dust. Kinda like the sound of that. I'll see if they like it when we get down later on. Oh, simmer down, I know all about it. Calcutta versus Albania. Both of em want squatters rights to my dust. Hmpf. Silly fight seems to me. I am dead you know?" Since that seemed a rhetorical question, her companion let it slide. "Yes, well the Big Guy isn't thrilled about out-house squabbles, so to speak. He would rather this all blew over. Wouldn't make good press if you understand me? Some others might use this as a wedge to get more, um, voters. I just wondered if you had any ideas on how we could eliminate this embarrassing situation?" "Hm. You just gave me an idea. How's ole Ben doing on that wind machine he was working on?" The woman chuckled at an image of her last remains being blown away by unseen forces. The man sighed, stood and knew that the report back to his Boss was not going to be an easy one to give. Maybe there was an opening for a barista here at Celestial Coffee Brew.   I couldn't believe the story I had read. Two countries are currently claiming ownership of Mother T's remains. The country she was born in, Albania and the country that benefited for so long from her good works, India, Calcutta precisely. Tsk Tsk Tsk. |
| 2. Get Registered Today! | ID #674266 |
| Posted: 11-1-2009 @ 10:01 pm EST Edited: 11-1-2009 @ 10:16 pm EST | |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Well I think (emphasis on that verb) I have the Java invaders conquered. However, not to tempt the JavaGods, I will not use special fonts, emoticons etc. in my blog. I wrote the Powers That Be on this site and was given - *gasp* - advice on what a virus is, on how to fix it? No. Not so much. I was given the link to go READ about what a virus is. I wrote back about knowing that, having protected my baby and I also am aware of what Java and HTML is. Whatever. I am still investigating that weirdness with Google's techies. At least THEY are willing to read what I write and correspond in a non-timely manner! HA! Moving on. Being out of work for longer than 30 days affects certain parts of the human anatomy, economy and pyschology let me inform you! My rabid search for work has lasted longer than the Swine Flu, Republican's search for sterling reputations and the Lassie television show put together. That Republican thing is ongoing so that tells ya a lot. Anyway, the search gets old and boring. Hence I lose focus on job hunting and wander here and there looking for amusing stuff - just to share with you all! That's it. Whew. I DO have a reason for this. Okay, so I'm a sucker for lists. When someone puts a header up on a web page and it states: "10 Most Brilliant Products of 2009" - I am gonna be drawn in. I mean, my gosh, whatever can these awesome products be? We are such an innovative species and our technology is so unreal isn't it? You ready for number one? Mmhm... #1 = A WIND TURBINE. That's right number one is a machine used to suck James Bond, Superman and Wolverine into huge blades slicing and dicing them. But this is no ORDINARY wind turbine. Oh no. It's for the FRICKIN' HOME OWNER. Now you can get this contraption, plug it in and do away with your yappy neighbor's dog. One flick of the switch - instant mulch from all those leaves on your lawn. I can't even begin to list uses for this macho fan-type chewing machine. There probably is some inept warning on it: "Do not let anyone under four feet high stand anywhere near the input or output." Right. Okay. Number two - a friggin cell phone of course! SHEESH, like they don't make enough of them to keep the population on the roads down right now? Okay enough said on that product. Sometimes humans amaze even me. Just when you think they set the "Stupid" bar low enough for an ant to run under, they just drop it again, killing that ant. Why would an ant....nevermind. Now after being educated so wonderfully about new products on the market (after number 2 I quit that list) I found another list that offered me humor. "The Funniest People on Twitter: A Top 10". I don't Twit myself as being able to communciate in 140-character limit, just is not me. However, I do appreciate short and sweet (don't go there guys!) so went to take a look. OMG. Number one is some of the FUNNIEST shorts I have seen since....since.....well none of them blog anymore so I won't take anyones name in vain. You gotta go get some of this humor people! http://tech.msn.com/products/articlepcw.aspx?cp-documentid=22123667 The language is noted as being over the top. But give this Twit a try! You will laugh. I guarantee it. Some of the stuff, I wish I had thought up. It makes getting old and crochety attractive if one can be so witty at that man's age! Go read. At this point I would insert my emoticon hearts with witty saying but like I said - I ain't tempting those Java gods. |
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