From Richmond Indiana we then moved to Atlanta Georgia 1962 - 1964

S (son) woke up feeling better and said that he would be OK with going to school today - I hate leaving him alone to make it to the bus - however it is a relief that the father who waits with his son at the end of our mutual dirveways is a police officer - so I know that S is protected while waiting for the bus even if I can't be there. When I was 9 years old I was walking NYC streets to get to the bus or subway (depending on my mood) to get to school - all S has to do is walk to the end of the driveway and I worry ...

M (soon to be ex) was in tears yesterday when I picked up S. I think she has finally realised what she has done - the sad thing is that there is no going back for me. I don't like seeing her in tears, however I was able to walk away. M left me because she wants an easier less complicated life - now she will have a harder more complicated life. She made this choice final when she was in Scotland (a trip I paid for) by sleeping with her old lover and my adopted daughters Father and coming home and telling me that she wanted to return back to her "true life love" a man she had an affair with while still married to her first husband, had a daughter with, and who then left her behind returning to Scotland to his own wife. A man who disavowed his and M's daughter for 15 years - for this POS she gave up 10 years of marriage to me who has supported and taken care of her and all of her children. Now 4 months later she is regretting that choice. However our marriage had been dieing for years previous - things were to complicated - M has four kids with four fathers - I have three kids with two Mothers - so hers, mine, and ours there equaled 6 - when it was just three of them at home we could manage but when the forth moved in (with boyfriend) and one had a kid (the one I adopted) of her own things went down hill quickly - this was not an easy situation and we where not strong enough to raise above it. I deeply wish it could have been different, however I feel really good now that I can move on. I will always love M as my son's Mother, but I can not return to her, she and I have some very basic differances in morals and beliefs about what is a partnership.

The economy has me very concerned - I am glad that I have a job that seems (fingers crossed) to be secure. I move food (wholesale to retail) and my company has a long term contract which was just signed - so as long as I don't mess up I should be ok - I have lost 70% of my 401k value in the last 15 months - what are people going to do - the world is rapidly changing and not for the better. This seperation also took away any padding I had - it will take years to rebuild, I hope that the economy will allow it to happen. I am not please with the way our politicians are dealing with this situation - the Republican party is acting very foolishly - Bush hurt our country deeply and now his party is sulking that they lost power instead of raising up and showing leadership and helping solve the problems we face.

I woke up at 03:00 this morning - I miss having someone beside me but I don't mind being alone - my relationship with M had been rocky for years and I still feel relief not driving home to the house I was rebuilding for 'us". I used to feel so tired driving home that I just wanted to pull over an sleep - I dont have that now. It is nice to have time to spend with S - he likes this also and seems to be fully OK with the split as he gets more time with his Dad than he ever had before. S and I started working on building a Lego Republic Attack ship last night.

I miss kisses.

no accidents yesterday and about 82 drivers on the road today - work is picking up a little which is good.
 

marching forth - 3/4/09

A little back ground -

This is my second attempt at a journal - my first attempt ended in 1972 when my Mother read my diary in which was information that I did not want her to know and did not understand myself (growing up and sex a strange brew indeed).

On Dec 27th 2008 a new journey began in my life - this was another step of many in the end of my second marriage - however this step meant moving to a different house and one of my sons now having two households to live in

A little about me
born 2/25/1959 in Richmond Indiana moved on the average of ever year and a half to two years (including a year in Thailand 64-65) until 2000 when I then settled in Central PA

First marriage 1986 - 1992 Two Children boy and a girl
Second marriage 1999 - ending soon One boy and adopted one of the wife's children, a girl

Joined WDC Jan. 2002

I am a Manager of a private Trucking Fleet with 130 employees

My son is sick and at the "soon to be ex's" house as his half brother is also home sick and I felt that it would be better if they were together instead of in two separate houses.

I have been happier that I have been in a long time, however I miss adult "non work related" conversation and I miss sleeping with a partner. This is not enough to change the situation and last night I sent another message to the "soon to be ex" once again telling her that she made this choice and there is no going back. Some time I might write more on the failure of partnership but other people's divorces are mostly boring.

On Monday my youngest son turned 9 and I gave him a bunch of Star War's Lego sets -
tonight I hope to spend starting to build one of these models -

No accidents today about 62 drivers out on the road -