Entry #290222, added on 05-13-04 @ 7:36 am EDT
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| My-13: Trying Not To Fit In | Entry #290222 |
I suppose if the reader is paying any attention to the writer of these thoughts, a trend is beginning to emerge here. This author has lived in denial most days as conditioned by the society she has tried fruitlessly to fit into. But of course, ultimately, my soul would not be denied its position. It is the strongest part of me. Thank you, Life.
This revelation began about eight years ago, but has been part of my equation since birth. Claiming my heritage has been expeditious in tracking its progress, as well as other complicated tasks. Swimming upstream against the current was perhaps the most exhaustive task I’ve ever accomplished and has had a residual affect on these human bones. Yet, I’m still standing as a testament to declare it was definitely worth the trouble.
My career choices have given me some latitude in system-busting and have allowed me to follow the creative urgings inside, although dwelling in the materialistic aspects of design can at times be distasteful when an extremely anal client seeks my professional skills. Karma usually steps in and leads me away from those pitfalls. Moving away from city life, jammed with commercialism and materialism, was extremely beneficial also. And music has always been a welcome haven, offering inspiration to enhance the creative process. I often commiserate with the writers, poets and musicians that eternalize their thoughts through omnipresent rhyme and reason. Writing has been my refuge in a raging storm. Trance writing has been my savior in a sea of despair. And now, the waters have calmed, leaving the skills in tact, ready to chart more unknown seas, with my Captain at the helm.
I’m starting to recover from the malady of believing I could save less-enlightened souls. After wasted years trying, I barely escaped that self-induced delusion and the cleansing word is divorce. Apologies to those who have endured my ceaseless spiritual urgings. A soul can be brought to the well, but can never be forced to drink if there is no thirst for enlightenment.
So, here with all the dust settling, I find I thrive most when I don’t fit in. However, standing apart from the crowd is not my goal. Although, my aura is indeed a deep shade of Indigo. I wake to thoughts of shaking the air and causing a ripple in the atmosphere. I want the efforts to succeed and each day learn a bit more of the process. If nothing else, the air does seem fresher lately, pumping my lungs with cosmic oxygen. My veins course with a familiar stellar force and perpetuate my purpose. Recent gazing at the starlit sky allows me to make third eye contact. I often imagine the stars are peep holes that allow a deeper vision from both sides of the nocturnal canopy.
Days and nights merge now into this ceaseless challenge to claim this misfit Life of mine and guide it into the ebb of changing currents. It’s helpful to understand we’re all floating in the same river, but it’s up to us whose vessel we ride in for the journey.
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© Copyright 2004 Celestial (UN: celestial at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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